07 June 2007, 10:00 PM
As often happens in my life, something I read or heard
motivated me to start writing about my earliest recollections. The whole
reason I began writing these thoughts was to keep from forgetting them!
The first pages were written sometime in the mid 1990’s
with very little being added after my initial thoughts. In November 2006 I
read a story about a group of people who had initiated “November Novel Month”
several years earlier. They initially wanted to see if they could write a
novel in one month. They weren’t concerned with the quality, rather with the
number of words they could write during the month of November. They set 50,000
words as a goal. Several years after the idea was born they had thousands of
people logging onto their web site to do the same. There were no prizes
involved, instead the satisfaction of knowing they had accomplished writing an
entire novel in one month.
Un Don Especial was in its final stages of being
published and I was working on an idea for a new book. I liked the idea of
writing a novel in a month and while my schedule was fortunately packed with
activities, I thought I would give it a shot. As I sat down to write, my first
thoughts didn’t flow as I wanted, so I called it an evening and decided to
start the next day.
The idea came to me in a flash! I already had a book
partially written in the form of the thoughts which follow. I looked for and
found the text which I had started several years earlier. I conducted a word
count and found I had about 15,000 words. Since November was already underway,
I figured it was a good place to start. I began writing a little bit every day
and by the time November came to a close, I had reached about 60,000 words.
I still had several years to go to reach the end of 2006.
While the intensity of my writing subsided after the end of November 2006, I
continued tapping away at the keyboard. As I write this introduction on the
evening before I turn 45 years of age, I have 124,000 words! While I still
have correcting to do and additions to make, I am amazed how the writing has
just flowed. I have learned in the process I truly enjoy writing and look
forward to doing much more.
Several thoughts have come to mind as these words seem to
have magically appeared at my fingertips. One of the thoughts has to do with a
comment I heard regarding the nature of an autobiography. “An autobiography,”
it was said, “only tells what the author wants and is willing to share.” I
agree with the statement completely!
All of us have certain feelings, thoughts and actions we share
with no one. Even for those who know almost everything about us, we usually
have one or two little secrets even they don’t know about! Keeping this
information close to the heart is not being malicious or deceitful rather
realistic regarding its nature. Sometimes, ignorance is indeed bliss.
As such, I don’t pretend or claim to espouse every
intimate detail about my life in the pages that follow. Instead, my aim is to
record moments which, for one reason or another, have stuck in my mind. I am
sure each person who has participated in the events which follow has his or her
perceptions regarding the situation. This is as it should be and part of what makes
this such a wonderful life!
Each of us passes the minutes, hours and days in some
form or another. The great majority of this time is spent with our own
thoughts. Even when we are with other people, our mind is constantly thinking,
perceiving and analyzing everything. How we interpret each situation depends
on our individual experience and is unique from the interpretation any other
person will have.
These are my perceptions, my thoughts and my
reflections. They are written for anyone who might want to know what makes me
tick. I share what I recall, think is worth remembering and which might be of
value to anyone who may care to know more about me.
I have so much to learn and while I feel I have come a
long way, I also feel there is so much I don’t know: so many rocks to turn, so
many paths to travel, so many people to do and things to see!
While my sincere hope is to reach 88 years of age
healthy, wealthy and wise, there are many rows to hoe and factors to take into
consideration. While I have been on earth, I have learned there are two
overriding factors in our lives, happiness and satisfaction. These factors are
present when we are useful to other people and make their lives better in some
way or another. When we do so, we also are ultimate beneficiaries.
The words which follow serve as a map to where I have
been and a compass to where I would like to go. My most sincere desire is for my
thoughts, ideas and reflections to serve those who choose to read them.
Love life, live life and enjoy every moment in this
marvelous journey because be it long or short, it is, in fact, gone in an
instant.
~ rhm²
Two civilians walked into the office and asked for Robert
McBride. "I'm Bobby," the handsome young man in uniform responded.
"We're familiar with your work and would like to
talk to you for a few moments," one of the men said.
"Is that a request or an order?" Bobby asked
with a grin.
"For now it's a request," the older of the two
men replied, not amused.
"Well in that case, fire at will!" Bobby
responded.
The two men explained they were familiar with his work
within the Air Force. They mentioned they were constantly on the lookout for
young talent, particularly for those who met his description. Bobby was of medium
build with dark hair and blue-gray eyes. He could easily pass for any one of
many different nationalities, and this was precisely what the men were looking
for. They offered to take him through a language training program which would
lead to an attractive commission upon completion.
Bobby accepted the proposal and was soon immersed in an
intensive language training program. After work one day he went to a local bar
in San Antonio with a friend to have a drink. After his friend left, he was
having a quiet drink when a gentleman sat next to him and ordered a beer. They
began talking about a myriad of subjects. The topic which interested the
stranger the most was world leaders.
"What is your opinion of Hitler as a leader?"
the stranger wanted to know.
"Well," Bobby began, "the Germans are
notorious as one of the smarter groups of people in the world. For an unknown
Austrian to penetrate the military ranks of the Germans and become their leader
is quite impressive. In addition, he led them to war and very nearly
established Germany as the world's dominant power. So I would say he was a
tremendous leader!"
The man seemed somewhat taken aback though didn't offer
any objections. "What about Mussolini?" He wanted to know.
"I would say Mussolini falls in much the same
category," Bobby replied. "While I don't agree with their ideology
or methods, their capacity to lead was tremendous."
Several days after this encounter, about which Bobby
didn't think twice, he was called in to talk to his Commanding Officer.
"Were you in a bar several days ago talking about world leaders?"
The CO wanted to know.
"Sure, what's up?" Bobby asked with curiosity.
"Did you mention to someone in the bar you believe
Hitler and Mussolini were great leaders?" The CO asked.
"Yes, I did!" Bobby answered without
hesitation.
As the conversation went on, Bobby could see he was under
scrutiny. He was temporarily relieved of duty and told to sit tight for
further instructions. He soon found out whoever sent the men to talk to him
had also sent others to talk to his mother as well as to his third and fourth
grade teachers.
Bobby had planned to make the Air Force his career. This
new turn of events made him realize what he was getting into and he didn't like
the looks of it. His commission called for him to stay in San Antonio until
the end of 1962. With a baby on the way and an acceptance letter to enter law
school in his hands, he asked for and was granted early release.
He and his wife Betty, pregnant expecting their first
child, made plans to go back to Albuquerque and start a new life.
I was born in San Antonio, Texas, on June 8th,
1962 at 2:38 AM at Lackland Air Force Base Hospital. While the total bill came
to under $10 for the hospital, there were disadvantages to being born in a
military hospital. Early the next morning the nurse came to my mom’s room
demanding to know the name to put on my birth certificate. My dad wasn’t there
at the time and though they had talked about names, my dad had never been
serious about the subject. He had come up with names like Procopio as well as
other names which seemed to be but a joke. My mom asked the nurse to give her
time to consult with my dad; the nurse was adamant. She wanted a name right
there, right then! As a result, I became Robert Hugh McBride II.
When I was six weeks old, I had my first plane ride as
we flew to Colorado to see my maternal grandparents and then on to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Shortly thereafter my mom started working as an English teacher
at Rio Grande High School in the South Valley of Albuquerque. During much of
this time I spent my days with my Aunt Elsie who took care of me while my mom
worked. She would pick me up after her school day and we would go home to get
ready for the next day. One of my earliest memories was driving home from my
Aunt Elsie’s listening to and singing the song “Downtown” as we drove down West Central Avenue in Albuquerque.
During this time my father was working several jobs and
going to law school in Oklahoma City. He graduated from law school and the
family was once again reunited.
From the time I was born until I was 4 years old I had an
obstruction in my "food tube." The doctors had trouble diagnosing
the exact problem and when I was 4 years old they did exploratory surgery. Dr.
Clevenger, who performed the surgery, discovered I had Pyloric Stenosis, which
is usually detected at birth and which is a fancy way of saying the tube going
from my stomach to my intestines was almost completely blocked. There was only
a tiny hole by which food could pass through my system. I was operated on and,
fortunately, everything went well. Dr. Clevenger performed the surgery to
correct the problem while my Uncle Buddy, also a doctor, helped to explain the
situation to my folks.
While I like to kid around as to the reason I have a huge
zipper on my stomach, this is the real reason! I always thought my explanation
of being in a gang related brawl was much more exciting, though far from the
truth!
Our first home was on Campus Blvd. close to the
University. We later moved to Adobe Acres in the South Valley. I more vividly
remember my aunt's house, where I stayed while my mom taught school. She also
lived somewhere in the South Valley. Behind the house was a big field where we
used to play. Down the road was a little store where we often went.
An early recollection is when my cousin Stuart and I stole
some kind of candy from the little store. When my aunt asked us from where we
had gotten it, we said "We stole it from the little store." We got
spanked and my aunt told us not to steal candy from the little store. A couple
of days later we came back with a different kind of candy. When my aunt asked
us where we got it, we said, "We stole it from the little store."
When she asked us why we had stolen the candy from the little store when she
had told us not to steal we told her we thought it was the other candy we
couldn't steal... we thought it was OK to steal other types of candy.
My aunt would often reprimand us for something bad we had
done and she would inflict a degree of pain on our backside. It didn't really
hurt because she didn't hit too hard and we would start crying just so she
would stop. Afterwards we would go into the next room and start laughing at
how smart we were. We used to raise a lot of cane. While I was always kind of
shy and reserved, Stuart was always coming up with things to do that were wild
and crazy. . I usually went along with most of the things he suggested for the
ride.
One particular time around the 4th of July we took a
lizard and tied him to a bottle rocket and sent him to space travel. We
thought this was great fun. Now I look back and wonder how we could have been
so cruel. I now realize we were just trying to find things to do. On a
positive note, the lizard story has a good ending. When he came back down from
his space shuttle, we found him and he was still alive! We let him go and while
we never knew if he lived to tell his friends about his adventure, as far as I
know, he was the first lizard in history to attempt space travel.
Another game Stuart and I played was with ants. We would
get a red ant and put him in a black ant hill. We would sit there and watch
the black ants destroy the red ant. It also worked the other way just as
well. Sometimes we would just let one black ant and one red ant go head to
head in battle. If I remember correctly it seems like the black ants used to
come out on top most of the time. We got a few ant bites in the process of our
ant fights, though not nearly as many as we probably should have sitting around
playing in ant piles.
I have very fond memories of my Aunt Elsie. While she
was strict, deep down inside she had a heart of gold and I always felt she
treated me like one of her own children, and in some instances perhaps even a
little better. When I was young I was a very sick boy, as I mentioned
previously. The doctors didn't know what was wrong with me and neither did my
parents. My primary problem was I couldn’t eat properly. I would eat and
within a very short time the food would come right back up. Instinctively, my
aunt fed me many times a day just to make sure I got nourishment. I looked
like many of the undernourished kids on TV we all hate to see so much. My
stomach was extended and it looked like I was pregnant.
There is one thing though I will never forget. The doctors
said that if it hadn't have been for my aunt, and everyone else, feeding me so
often, I very well could have died. Because the condition I had is usually
diagnosed at birth many of the doctors were surprised I was even alive.
Another memory I have of my aunt was her continual battle
with a birthmark I had on my neck behind my ear. She thought it was dirt. She
scrubbed and scrubbed trying to get that darn birthmark out. Afterwards, I
would have this big red mark where she had scrubbed so much. She was a very
funny spectacular lady with a tremendous laugh which could be heard
everywhere. What a lady!
During this same time I spent time with my aunt, we used
to go to Dixon, New Mexico, where all of her family lived. While we were there
we would run wild. I remember one time we had a rotten apple war. We were
running around the orchards picking rotten apples off the ground and trying to
hit each other. While the apples smelled terrible, it was great fun.
With my mom and my dad we frequently went to San Luis, Colorado, to see my grandparents. While I was there I was pretty much free to do
whatever I wanted. Many times I would take my cousin Stuart or another friend
with us. We would go to the creek and throw stones or go and chase little pigs
to hear them squeal.
I have very fond memories of my grandfather. He used to
go out of the house where there were always pigs and horses hanging around. He
would take his cane to them and yell at them until they moved out of the way so
he could pass. My grandfather was called "El Patron.” Everyone knew and
respected him. I remember him driving around town low-rider style waving to
everyone as he passed. By the end of his driving career, he was already in his
80’s; they wanted to take his driver's license away. He would have no part of that
and continued driving. Everybody just got out of his way when they saw him
coming because by then he didn't drive too terribly well.
My grandfather was a very proud man and just wouldn't
quit. I fondly remember him sitting in his recliner chair puffing on a cigar
and "reading" the paper. We caught him a few times reading the paper
upside down which gave us quite a chuckle. One time when my
grandfather was very sick he was taken to Pueblo to the hospital. My mom and I
took my grandmother and stayed with my Aunt Helen and my Uncle Teen. One night
while we were sleeping, all of a sudden I heard this voice calling me in what
seemed like a dream. When I awoke I couldn't see anything. There was smoke
everywhere. A fire had started in the basement from a TV they had won on some
kind of game show. My mom wrapped me up in a blanket and we went outside while
the fire department came. We all got out all right except for my cousin Diane
who had to be taken out through a basement window. She got cut up pretty badly
from the glass, had smoke inhalation, and was rushed to the hospital. Fortunately,
she, too, was all right.
I remember the thrill my grandfather got out of the rides
my dad gave us in one of his Jaguars. We used to go out on the road between
San Luis and Walsenberg and my dad would “open it up.” One time we got up to about
130 MPH. After one of our rides, the windshield wipers wouldn't stop after we
stopped the car. It was hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing. The car just
freaked out.
Another fond memory I have of my grandparents in San Pablo was my learning to eat chili. My grandmother made wonderful red chili about
which I wasn't too sure at first. I later learned to love it. All the adults
would eat chili though was I never was daring enough to do so. Finally, one time
at my grandma's I ate red chili with beans and tortillas and I was in heaven.
I must have been about eight or nine years old. Since that moment, a bowl of
beans, some red chili on the side and tortillas has become one of my all time
favorite foods.
In her kitchen there was a cellar under the kitchen where
they would keep food. I remember thinking it would be a terrific place to hide
if Indians ever came. In fact, it may be my grandma planted that idea in my
head telling me about something that actually happened though I can’t recall the
details.
After we moved from Adobe Acres to an apartment on Jefferson Street, I remember having a cement mixer I got as a gift. I remember taking the
truck outside and playing with it on the sidewalk. I must have been 3 or 4 years
old at that time.
Another event I remember, when I was about 3 or 4 years of
age, was messing around in the kitchen. I got a bottle of ketchup out of the
fridge and decided I wanted a drink. I got a straw, put it into the ketchup
bottle, and proceeded to suck it up. We have pictures to mark this
extraordinary event!
Manzano Day School
I went to school at Manzano Day School from Kindergarten through
fourth grade. The memories I have of the school are, in general, pretty good.
At that time, the school seemed huge. I visited it later in life and found it
really wasn't so big. I remember one time some friends and I were on a pyro
kick and were lighting matches everywhere. There was a heavy set teacher whose
name was Mr. Redmond. He was from Boston and had a wicked accent. I vividly remember
one time we were lighting fires in the playground and he came bouncing along
mad as a bee. He took us into the Principal's office and called our parents.
Needless to say, our folks were not too happy.
At Manzano, Morley Anderson, Gary Sanchez, John Leggott and
I made up the Manzano Day School Super Team. We played all kinds of different
sports and regardless of the sport we always beat the other guys pretty bad.
John Leggott’s family had a cabin in Taos. During ski season went there with
them there quite often. I recall the day they took me to the Longhorn Chutes which
are several steep, deep runs and I slid down the mountain on my butt. It
wasn’t long, however, until I was following them wherever they took me. We had
some terrific times and in the process I learned to ski on one of the most incredible
mountains I have been to. It was a great cabin. Since then I have always
dreamed of having a cabin like theirs in the mountains.
At Manzano I had a teacher whose name was Mrs.
Schmuck. I must have been in second or third grade. I remember she was very
demanding though also had a great sense of humor. She was always joking around
with us and I remember I liked her very much. I also had my first
"girlfriend" at this time. While I really didn't like girls much or
know about the birds and the bees, Carla Villa and I would just sit together
and then go on the swings. I remember we tried kissing and I really don't
think either of us enjoyed it too much. Fortunately, this would change with
time!
Sports were an integral part of my growing up. After the
surgery to fix my food tube, I had to exercise to strengthen my stomach muscles.
My folks enrolled me in gymnastics. It was really good fun. Rolling around
and doing cartwheels and all that kind of stuff. I took lessons at Fishback’s
Studio just a few blocks away from our home at 412 Alvarado in Albuquerque. The only part I didn't like was when we would have recitals and I had to get
all dressed up in what I considered kind of girlish clothes. They also put
makeup on us because of the bright lights and I wasn't too crazy about that either.
At about this same time I started to take swimming
lessons. My dad was a Captain in the Air Force and we used to go to the
officer's club at Kirtland Air Force Base. I liked swimming quite a bit. The
biggest thrill was when I finally got to jump off the high board at the pool.
After I did it, I felt a great sense of accomplishment. I learned to swim
pretty well and started taking diving lessons. While this was also was fun, it
never was high on my list of priorities. Perhaps one of the reasons is because
of the time I was doing a back flip and didn't jump out far enough. I hit the
back of my head on the board, was knocked unconscious for a moment and the
lifeguard had to drag me out of the pool. My mom took me to the doctor and I
was fine though I never was quite the same on a diving board after that!
I started playing little league baseball when I was
pretty young. I was generally a pretty good player and I particularly liked to
play catcher. I felt like that was where most of the action was.
I recall one time being in a batting slump. If you can
call a 7 or 8 year old being in a slump! In any event, my coach was bound and
determined I was going to hit the baseball. They just kept pitching and
pitching to me. I kept swinging and swinging getting more frustrated all the
time. I must have swung at that ball more than a hundred times. For the life
of me I couldn't hit that stupid little ball. I don't know if it was true or
not but it felt like everybody was laughing at me. I was crying and felt very
humiliated. Finally, I think the coach gave up and I remember going home
crying and vowing I would never play baseball again. I did, of course, and by
the next day I was out there again.
My dad wanted me to be tough. In actuality, I was kind
of a sissy. I clearly remember when my dad bought boxing gloves for my cousin
Stuart and me. I wasn't too terribly thrilled with the idea. Stuart used to
beat on me pretty good. Most of the times I ended up crying and, I'm sure, my
dad humiliated at what a weakling he had for a son. He then bought a speed bag
for me. This was an entirely different story and I got pretty good at knocking
the speed bag around.
In our home on Alvarado we had a pool table. My dad
loved to play pool. At first I just hit the balls around a little bit. Then
my dad showed me how to play and I got pretty good. He used to show me off to
his friends at the parties they had at the house, which was quite often. My mom
would get angry at my dad because he would never let me win at pool. We would
play quite a bit and at first he always beat me. In time, I regularly began
taking games from him.
At one party when I was about 11 or 12 I was drinking
wine coolers; the adults thought this was kind of cute. I ended up getting
pretty tipsy and I remember feeling dizzy. I think that was the first time I “copped
a buzz” with alcohol.
One of my fondest childhood memories was going to my
grandfather's ranch in Grants, New Mexico. Once we were at the ranch my
cousins, Tommy and Stuart, and I were pretty much on our own to do whatever we
wanted to do. We each had 22 caliber rifles and one of the things we did was
to pick off prairie dogs and rabbits. The prairie dogs were the most fun
because they just kind of sat there waiting for you to take them out. The
rabbits were a little bit more challenging because they ran fast and you had to
be a pretty good shot to get them. Another thing we did in Grants was
to ride horses. There were several horses over the years but the ones I
remember the most were Mosca and Estrellita. There was a little Shetland pony
my dad bought for me once but we had to get rid of him because he chased the
cows and never let anybody ride him. With the other two horses we rode all
over the place. One of our favorite things to do was to go camping up on the
mesa. We usually had to ride double on one horse and single on the other. I
remember doing like the movies and running across the mesa trying to knock one
another off the other's horse. It was great fun.
We loved riding in my grandfather's pickup truck. He
used to cruise all over the place and we would usually ride in the back Indian
style. Whenever my Aunt Brenda or any of the other adults were not around, my
grandfather let us ride on the tailgate. I think we fell off a couple of times
but it was usually when he wasn't going very fast.
One time we decided we were going to jump on the train
that went past his land and try to take it into town. To get ready for this we
would practice jumping off the truck and rolling when we hit. When it came
time to actually jump on the train it was usually going too fast for us to
catch it. I do think my cousin Tommy and maybe Stuart caught it once. As I
recall, I always went along for the ride but in the end I always chickened
out.
We spent many hours under the bridge the train went
through by the ranch. We gathered rocks, railroad stakes and anything else we
could find to throw at the train. We especially liked to throw the stakes at
the train at night time because we could see the sparks fly off the railroad
cars. We also threw things at the new cars that passed by on the railroad
cars. I'm sure the insurance companies hated us. Eventually, the railroad
made barriers to protect the cars and prevent damage.
One of the most famous speeches we all got was the “initiative
speech” from my Aunt Brenda. We were just kids and didn't really care for much
except having a good time. On the ranch there was always plenty of work to do
and my Aunt figured that as long as we were there we should share in the load.
That's when we got the “initiative speech.” Although none of us knew what that
word meant, before the end of the speech we certainly learned, after she used it
in her speech about fifty times. We sat there patiently listening to her and
then ran laughing our heads off.
Another important lesson I learned early on was a result
of a gift from my Grandpa Vigil. It was the impetus to my having some healthy
cash flow, which later helped me tremendously! He gave me a Black Angus heifer
when I was quite young. We took her from his ranch in the San Luis Valley to my Grandpa McBride’s ranch in Grants, New Mexico. She was beautiful and, when
the time came, she began producing offspring. Each time a male was born, my
Grandpa McBride would trade me for a heifer. The bull of the herd was one of
the offspring from my original heifer. In time, I had several cows. My
Grandfather cared for them at his ranch, and I would occasionally go with
Stuart and, sometimes the rest of the family, to help around the ranch. The
biggest yearly event was branding the cattle. In the early years it was all
ropes and strength to wrestle the little rascals to the ground so we could
brand, mark and castrate the males which would not be used to breed.
I learned this was hard work and there was always
something which needed to be done. As a secondary benefit, the proceeds from
the sales of my cows helped greatly in funding my bank account and, eventually,
my college education at the University of Colorado.
One of the things I remember well is the way my parents
taught me the value of money. At a very early age I was taken to the bank to
open a savings account. Usually when it came time for a birthday, Christmas or
another special event, if I wanted something that was particularly expensive
they would tell me I could have it but I would have to pay for half of it and
they would pay the other half. This worked for many things. One of the first
items I remember buying is a Panasonic clock radio which has lasted for over
thirty years. In addition, we worked out a deal for my waterbed, fish tank and
other things as well.
When I started driving my mom and dad made a deal with me
on a car they had recently purchased. It was a 1977 blue Honda Accord. The
deal was I would make half of the car payments and they would make the other
half of the payments. When the car was finally paid off at the end of three years
half of the car was mine and the other half was theirs. Coincidentally, I was
graduating from high school about that time and they gave me their half of the
car as my graduation gift.
At the time I can't say I was too crazy about the idea of
paying half for all of these things, especially when many of my friends would
get these things for "free." I now realize it was an excellent way
for me to appreciate the value of the dollar and the necessity to work for
those things I wanted. I am very grateful my folks taught me this important
lesson at an early age.
My best friend when I was growing up was David Jones. To
date we continue to be very close and he is my daughter Chantalle’s Godfather.
We first met playing baseball in Little League. Our friendship developed over
time primarily during baseball season. The fact that we lived close to each
other was a great benefit. He went to public school and I went to private
school. As a result of where I went to school, most of my classmates didn’t
live near me. On the other hand, David was just up the street a few blocks.
One of my fondest memories was getting together with him and going to Fox Park on Alvarado to play baseball. We would go there and spend hours hitting each
other fly balls. Every once in a while we would get together with some other
kids and play "500." But most of all, we were just good buddies.
Like all good friends we had our share of fights and
little battles. Of course, he was usually wrong and I was usually right! In
any event, these fights were always settled in a few days. We would swallow
our pride, make up and go hit fly balls again.
The best part of our childhood relationship was when I
lived at 412 Alvarado. In 1976 we moved to Rio Rancho and he stayed in the old
neighborhood. We would talk and see each other occasionally though our
relationship during our high school years cooled quite a bit. It wasn't that
we didn't want to see each other anymore rather, it was the fact we were at
different schools.
One of the battles I often had with my folks was that I
wanted to go to public school like "David Jones." My parents
resisted and I was sent to the "better" private schools. I was
somewhat of a rebel, though admittedly often without a cause, growing up and I
didn't like being told what to do. The problem intensified when I saw other
people I knew who went to public schools. It seemed to me they never had to
study and had all kinds of time on their hands. Fortunately, my folks
persisted and I continued going to private schools. At the time I was pretty
upset that I had to study and be occupied by school all the time while those I
knew in public schools were having a good time.
I now realize that given my general attitude in high
school, my parents made the best choice and I am glad they persisted in my
going to The Albuquerque Academy. As delinquent and ornery as I was in high
school, I think I would have probably come out of the public school system as a
lost cause.
Fortunately, David always seemed to have his priorities
straight and though he went through the public school system, he graduated from
school certainly as prepared for life as I. After we graduated from high
school I went off to school to the University of Colorado at Boulder and David
went to the University of New Mexico. It was here that our friendship
strangely enough seemed to grow and build once again. Whenever I would come
back to Albuquerque for visits and holidays, I would always call David and we
would get together. By then I had toned my partying down quite a bit and we were
on level ground again.
David was never opposed to a few
brewskis though anything beyond that was not really his cup of tea. When I
toned down on the other type of partying and concentrated on brewski curls we
seemed to get along much better. From then we have continued to be excellent
friends and I feel a great affinity towards him and his family.
California or Bust
We went on a couple of trips to California and to Disneyland when I was small. The first time we went we stayed at my Uncle Jack's place in Carlsbad. When we arrived, it was already dark and thus began my first experience with the
ocean. I must have been about 6 or 7 years old. We went out onto the sand and
I remember being kind of scared because I couldn't really see anything. What I
did hear was the roar of the ocean every time the waves came in. All that
night I was wondering what the ocean was like…
The next day when I saw it, I was in love. We had so
much fun playing in the sand. One day I remember I was playing in the surf
minding my own business and along came a jelly fish and stung me on the foot.
I was whooping and hollering and at first my mom thought I was playing. When
they finally figured out I was really in pain they came to my rescue. I
remember the burning feeling and thinking it was never going to stop. It just
kept burning and burning. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!
Somewhere around the same time I remember a car window
incident with my mom. We were out driving around and I had my head out of the
window from the back seat. My mom started to roll the window up because she
couldn't see me. As she was rolling up the window it got stuck on my neck.
She couldn't see what was happening and I couldn't talk. Fortunately, there
was no serious damage done though it did give us all a chuckle for some time
after that.
The majority of my young life was spent at 412 Alvarado
in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I remain very fond of that house many years later.
When we first moved into the house it had a big enclosed porch in the back.
Later my folks remodeled the house and reincorporated that room into the main
living area and made one big party room. Where the porch used to be they put
an old bar style pool table which my sister has to this day!
The backyard was nicely
landscaped with pines and a patch of grass to play on. We had a water fountain
built and in that we put fish. One winter the fish stayed in the pond.
Somehow or another they lived through the winter. I am not sure how because
the pond froze over and I am not sure how they got food.
One event I remember vaguely, but have been told the
story often, is that right after we moved into our home on Alvarado, Stuart and
I were playing on the front porch and fighting about something or another. We
then proceeded to unleash the harshest name calling we could imagine. I told
Stuart he was a "nigger" and he told me I was “adopted." While
the former term is offensive, the latter would soon bring great joy into my
life. These, however, were the worst insults we could muster up at the time,
Another memory I have of Alvarado
house was a time Stuart was raising bunnies. He gave me a bunny and I had the
bunny out back in a cage. He came over and we were playing. For some reason or
another we started fighting. Not an unusual event. Stuart decided he was
going to go home and was going to take MY bunny with him. He got MY bunny in
its cage and went and sat on the curb. I remember crying and crying telling
him that he couldn't take MY bunny away.
I remember a particular night in the house. My parents
usually got baby-sitters for me when I was small but one time my cousin Stuart
and I convinced them that we could stay home alone. We were about 9 or 10. We
were playing with our Hot Wheels which we used to string all over the house.
All of a sudden somebody started knocking on the door. My parents had told us
not to answer the door for anybody. So we just sat there. Pretty soon the
knocking turned into pounding. The man, who we later figured must be drunk,
started yelling, "I know you’re in there; open the door.” We, by that
time, were hiding in the family room crouched low. We stayed that way for
quite a while. The knocking stopped and we stayed put. Then a little later
the guy started at it again. The whole thing seemed to us like it lasted for
hours, but in reality it probably only lasted about 10 minutes.
There were three bedrooms in the house. At first my room was in one of these
rooms at the main end of the house. After I got bigger I moved into a room
that had been made out of a part of the garage. That was paradise for me.
This was the 70's and I remember I had the room fully decked out in black
lights and black light posters. There was a small window high up in the room
where I put orange curtains. I then painted all of my doors black. It was
quite a room. It looked like a pumpkin!
Perhaps the best part of that
room is I had my own separate exit. Although at that time I was probably only
12 or 13 and I really didn't use it much, just the fact that I had it made me
feel important. The truth is there were several nights I can remember being
more than a little scared that a burglar was going to come in that door and get
me. Another part of that house I remember is our remodeled kitchen.
In the kitchen instead of having a kitchen table we had a booth. It was the
same kind they have in restaurants. I always thought that was pretty cool. It
was orange Formica if I remember correctly. Like I mentioned before, this was,
after all, the 70's!
One of my hangouts when we lived
on Alvarado was the Officer’s Club at Kirtland AFB. They had a swimming pool,
which is where I learned to swim, and also where I learned about the birds and
the bees and other things as well. Each summer there would be a group of
people who would get together on most weekdays and just hang out. I used to
ride my bike to the club which was perhaps about 4 or 5 miles away. When I
would get there we would just do whatever came naturally. We used to check out
the girls and just generally do nothing at all. One time I remember somebody
had scored a joint from somewhere and we all went outside the pool and sat
under a tree and blew a joint. It was the first time I had ever smoked pot and
it really didn't seem to be such a big deal to me. The grass may not have been
very good or I didn't have enough but I didn't even cop a buzz.
One other thing I have already
mentioned and remember about being at the Officer’s Club is taking diving
lessons, hitting the diving board, being knocked unconscious and being taken to
the hospital. As I said earlier, my enthusiasm for diving was gone from that
day forward.
It was at this time my mom and dad really wanted to have
another child. The choice was to adopt. We met three-year-old twin girls from
a foster home and they were with us for approximately a month. They were
really cute! Ultimately, they were sent back to their biological mother and we
just waited patiently for the right opportunity to come around.
When the day finally came, it was summer and I was waxing
my mom’s car with some kind of special wax. My dad called us on the phone and on
August 15, 1972, we got the news that Maya Elizabeth was born at 4:00 AM and
she was ours. We immediately left and met my dad at the hospital to see my
little sister. It was a time of great joy and happiness in our home. I can
remember my mom, who was already a pretty good shopper, going crazy getting
ready for Maya!
We went shopping like there was
no tomorrow getting things all equipped for the new baby. I was 10 years old
at that time and the new baby in our home didn't faze me too much. At first I
was probably somewhat indifferent because of our ten year age difference. In
time, I became very close to Maya and love her incredibly!
When Maya was just a few months old she got very sick and
went to the hospital. I was trucked off to my aunt's house and we waited
several very painful days and nights while she was diagnosed as having
pneumococcal meningitis. We were told it was very difficult to tell what the
long term results might be and it was possible the effects could be pretty
serious. Maya went through her illness with flying colors, although she did
lose hearing in her right ear, which the doctors said was the direct result of
the meningitis.
This was also the last time I
would see “El Patron” alive. My Aunt Joan brought my grandparents to see Maya
at the hospital and to stay with me because it was Christmas and my mom was at
the hospital with Maya. My grandfather died the following January, ten days
after we brought Maya home from the hospital.
Some of my fondest memories growing up were playing
football. The very first team I played for in the Young American Football
League was for the Hawks. That first year my mentor was coach Bell. He was very intense! That first year I was somewhat shy. It would be one of only
two years in my football career when I didn’t start a game. I played center
and the starter was a guy by the name of Frank Sedillo. I used to think he was
a god. He was good and I wanted to be like him so badly. As it turns out he
continued playing football and was an excellent player at the high school
level. I would not be surprised if he went on to play college ball. The next
year I continued to play for the Hawks and I was starting, as Frank had moved
up to a different division. That is when I got my first real taste of playing
football. It was a gas and I loved it. I don't think that at first I was
particularly good but I paid attention and learned quickly. Coach Bell wore a
huge gold ring on one of his fingers. Whenever we didn't perform to his
standard, which was quite often, he would smack us on the helmet with that
ring. It would echo around in our heads for a while and was very loud. After
that year I played with different teams in different positions.
The teams I remember were the
Hawks, the Raiders and the 49'rs. One of the teams I really enjoyed the most
was the Raiders. One of my coaches was Gene Franchini, who has remained a very
good family friend. It was with that team I really started to blossom. The
coaches were excellent and very dedicated. They took the game seriously but
also seemed to really care about us as kids and that seemed to take precedence
over all else. I believe some of my deepest underlying values were learned on
the football field. Also, by that time I was starting to get pretty good!
I enjoyed getting out on the
football field and just letting it rip. In general I was pretty shy as a kid
but when I got on the field it seems like I turned into a different person. I
would let it all hang out and the thing that mattered most was hitting and
demolishing the opposing player. I really got a great adrenaline rush out of
the whole thing. My next team was the 49'rs and was coached by some police
officers. My best buddy on the team was Scott Goode. Scott and I had all
kinds of good fun both off and on the field. We were pretty good “hanging out
buddies” and we used to go to the Officer’s Club and raise hell quite a lot.
Scott was always into being mischievous and I usually went along for the ride.
We had a guy on our team by the name of David Proper who had a long ponytail
and a running back whose name was Michael. Boy, he could run! Just by
watching him walk you could tell he could run fast!
During this time Maya was a
cheerleader for a couple of the teams and she was always running around in her
cute little outfits. I went on to play football for the Academy. That story
is best left for a different chapter.
We used to enjoy riding bikes as
kids quite a bit. From 412 Alvarado I used to ride my bike over to my cousin
Tommy's who lived up near the Sandias in the NE heights. It was a pretty big deal
to have my mom let me go by myself. When she finally let me go I remember
thinking I was a pretty big shot. When I got to his house we often rode up
dirt roads to the Sandias. It would take us a long while to get up there and
had usually worked up a sweat by the time we got there. Afterwards came the
best part of all, riding down. We used to haul ass down the dirt roads
skidding and careening our way down. Great fun!
My dad and his brother, my Uncle
Buddy, were great friends while my Uncle Buddy was alive. They were both very
competitive and they were always trying to beat each other at something or
another. I recall one time coming home from my Uncle Billy's house after
Christmas or some other such holiday. My dad had a Jaguar, which was his car
of choice at the time, and my Uncle had his Porsche. We came hauling down I-40
racing and we kids were having great fun. I don't think our moms were quite so
thrilled. I remember thinking my dad and my uncle probably couldn't afford
really expensive cars as kids so this was their way of catching up and having
some thrills.
When I was 10 years old we went
on a trip to Florida and, specifically, to Disney World. It
was a blast. At the time, my dad was doing some legal work for a gentleman
whose name was Glen Turner. He had several different businesses and did pretty
well. I later found out not everyone thought so highly of him and I believe he
might have even done some time in prison. In any event, at that time those kinds
of trips were common and it was first class all the way. After we spent some
time at Disney it was time for me to go home and for my folks to continue on to
a cruise to the Bahamas. My mom later told me this gentleman was pretty
eccentric and he would go around giving hundred dollar bills to all the
ladies. I had to go back to Albuquerque by myself. I was terrified and tried
very hard not to let my folks know how scared I was. I tried to be brave on
the outside though on the inside I was terrified. My mom and dad took me to the
airport and waited for me until it was time for the plane to go. After I got
on the plane I remember crying and thinking how far away I was from home and
hoping I wouldn't get lost on the way. I had about a four hour layover in Dallas and I can remember just wandering around the airport. My folks had made
arrangements with the airlines who knew I was traveling alone and helped me as
much as possible. When I finally landed in Albuquerque I was so happy to be
home. My Aunt Frances picked me up at the airport and I stayed with her until
my folks got back. After that episode I felt like I was a pretty big kid,
especially proud that I didn't get lost on the way back from Florida.
One fond memory I have as a child were the fishing and
camping trips we took with my Uncle Billy. He was always looking to head to
the great outdoors in some way shape or form. We used to go camping up at Navajo Lake. Initially we would fish from the rocks and try our luck in the rivers. Later
we would go out on my Uncle Billy’s boat and go tooling around the lake.
My Uncle Billy also went often to San Carlos in México to
go fishing. These were wonderful trips which involved hauling his boat down to
México and doing all the preparation to make sure things went smoothly. While
the actual fishing was a lot of fun, I can recall the getting ready to get
fishing as being hard work! Nevertheless, having a dolphin fish hooked on the
end of the rod literally fighting for its life is an experience I’ll never forget.
I now realize how much these early experiences later
influenced my life. From my own camping trips with friends during high school
and college to the trips I took later with my family, my love of being out in
the wilderness started from an early age. Much of this I owe to my Uncle Billy
who was always cooking up some way to get us out of the city.
A ski trip I remember very well was going to Aspen, Colorado, when I was about 13 years old. My cousin Stuart came to our house the
night before we were going to leave. We thought we might need some liquid
refreshments for our trip so I sneaked into my dad's bar and snagged a bottle
of Vodka. As I was leaving the bar my mom caught me red-handed with the
bottle. Needless to say, she wasn't very happy with us; I think my dad thought
it was kind of funny.
My cousin Tommy was old enough to drive at the time and I
remember tooling around Aspen in his car which was a Camaro or a Z-28 as I
recall, jamming to ZZ Top's "Tres Hombres.” We had our own room and after
skiing one day my cousins and I got together and somehow managed to buy a huge
bottle of wine and a case of beer. We downed all of it in about half an hour.
We were all pretty plastered. I don't think any of us remembered too much about
what happened after that. When we awoke the next morning we realized that
during the course of the night Tommy had thrown up his retainer in the toilet
and flushed it. That was pretty much the highlight of the trip!
Although I was still pretty young when my maternal
grandfather died, I remember him well. He was a very proud man who was well
respected in his community and who never gave up on anything, including life.
The doctors said that because of poor health he should have died perhaps ten
years before he actually did. Just like the Energizer bunny he just kept
ticking.
The day my grandfather died I had the strangest feeling
coming home on the bus from school. As soon as I walked in the door I knew
what had happened. Although there was a lot of sadness, the overriding feeling
was that of respect for a great man who lived.
There were two deaths that had a profound impact on my
life. One was the death of my cousin Ronnie Warrick and the other was the
death of my Uncle Buddy. Both deaths occurred during my high school senior
year and I was out of town for both. When Ronnie died I was in México on a
hike in Barranca del Cobre and when my Uncle Buddy died I was in Guatemala studying Spanish. Both of these deaths affected me so much because previously
the only people I had ever known who died were old. Both of these guys were
relatively young and it didn't seem fair to me their lives should be cut so
short, so quickly! Both of their deaths were particularly hard on my dad. I
believe he lost his two best friends that year. It was then I began to think about
how important it is to live each and every day to the fullest because we never
know when our time is going to come!
When my Grandmother Vigil died I remember being very
sad. I was already older and I had always had a very deep love for my
grandmother. One thing which happened and greatly lightened the moment was the
“church incident.” My mom had always told me if I was in a Catholic Church and
didn't feel comfortable kneeling and crossing myself, I didn't have to do it.
Even though my grandmother’s service was in the Presbyterian Church I was very
confused. My cousins and I were pallbearers and were situated right up in the
front row of the church. We did not know whether we should kneel or what we
should do. At one point in the service, my cousin Mike asked me if we should
kneel. I told him my mom said I didn't have to if I didn't feel like it. So
we just sat there. I think my mom and aunt were very embarrassed at our
confusion because we kept looking back to see what others were doing.
Rio Rancho
When I was 14 years old we moved to Rio Rancho into a
great big beautiful house on the golf course. At the time I was still going to
school at the Albuquerque Academy which was on the other side of town. I had
to get up early in the morning and take the bus to school. I was normally
involved in activities after school and I usually got home pretty late.
One of my dreams was always to go to public school.
Fortunately, my parents were adamant about my going to the Academy because they
felt it was definitely the best thing for me. In any event, I really wanted
the kind of freedom I saw all the public school kids had. I envied them
because it seemed they never had homework and since school was so close they
had a lot more time to do what they wanted.
My link to this new group of friends was my cousin
Stuart. When he was 15 and I was 14 he got his driver’s license and we would
go messing around in an old Willy's jeep he had. It was a pretty high tech
jeep and the gas gauge consisted of a stick we would use to measure how much
gas we had!
We had quite a bit of fun cruising around and partying.
During that time some of my friends from Cibola High School were Craig Napurano,
Steve Baccum, Ambrose Armijo and Brian, whose last name I have forgotten.
Every once in a while I would manage to ditch school and go to Stuart's and we
would party hardy. We had somewhat of a ritual and would always leave the
place spic and span. We would jam to groups like Foghat, Aerosmith and
Ambrosia. The song “Mama Frog” was always a favorite! I remember some pretty
good, decadent times with that group.
Summers around the “ranch,” which is what we called Rio Rancho, were always good fun. I usually had a girlfriend or two and we would go to the
club and swim quite a bit. Midnight cruises around the golf course were also
pretty popular around that time.
Looking back on things, my life at the Academy was pretty
fulfilling in spite of my desire to go to public school. I started going there
in the fifth grade and finished high school there. Life really changed at the
Academy when I was in eighth grade. That's when girls were admitted and it
made a big difference in my life. It probably was more distracting than all of
the teachers would have liked but we surely had lots of fun.
Before that time I had one girlfriend I remember, Tracee
Galles. I was in the seventh grade and she was going to Sandia Prep. We used
to have our folks take us to dances. The first real date we had was going to
see the movie Young Frankenstein with Mel Brooks. We thought we were pretty
cool at the time holding hands and kissing which felt pretty good. We were
pretty harmless and really didn't know what we were doing. I recall being heartbroken
and crying when Tracee broke up with me.
Then, as I mentioned, in eighth grade girls were admitted
to the Academy and we boys had a field day going out with all of the girls.
During that time I went out with Karen Schalk and then Julie Foster.
With Julie I remember spending hours late into the night
talking on the phone about all kinds of things.
After a while things settled down and my first real
meaningful girlfriend was Sally Kitts. We dated for about two years before
things kind of fizzled out and we each went our own way. We had a great
relationship and really got along well having a wonderful time together.
Though afterward we were never romantically involved, we remained very good
friends and would go partying every once in awhile. The next serious girlfriend
I had was Susan Dermksian. Her father was "The Shoe" and I worked in
his shoe store in Coronado Shopping Center. I was immediately attracted to her
though she didn't give me too much consideration initially.
Sue was from Rhode Island and lived there with her
mother. She would come to be with her father during the summer. The summer of
'78 she came and started working at her father's store. I asked her out and
nothing much happened. She brushed me off and basically said she wasn't
interested. We did hang out together though and got to be pretty good
friends. A little later that summer she set me up with one of her friends and,
interestingly enough, after that is when she started to show interest in me.
By the end of the summer when she had to go back to Rhode Island things had
gotten a little more serious.
She finished her senior year of high school in Rhode Island and the next year returned to Rio Rancho to live with her father and we went
out during my senior year of high school. That whole year I was in heaven. I
always felt really good when I was around her. We had a lot of fun together.
It was also nice that we lived so close to each other. We would meet out on
the golf course a lot of times at night. We would also sneak over to each
other’s homes.
One time I remember we both fell asleep and when we awoke
it was already morning. We had to sneak Sue out. When she walked home, Maya’s
dog Amigo followed her home. I think her dad was suspicious, though nothing
came of it.
We also went out quite a bit with my friend Tim
Anderson. We would go on double dates and go back to his place. He had a
great house and his folks were hardly ever there so it was perfect. In the end
I was going off to college and there was just no real promise for the two of us
so we split up and she went back to Rhode Island while I went off to school in Boulder.
Oh I’m on
my way, I know I am
Somewhere
not so far from here
All I know
is all I feel right now
I feel a
power growing in my hand
Sitting on
my own now by myself…
~ Cat Stevens ~
Those who
flow as life flows know
They need
no other force:
They feel
no wear, they feel no tear,
They need
no mending, no repair.
~ Tao Te Ching ~
An important part of my growing up was playing football.
From the Young American Football League to the Academy I played football with a
passion. One of my fondest memories was when I was first eligible to play
football for the Academy in eighth grade. I wasn't able to start with
everybody else because I was playing YAFL and because of a rule they had I had
to wait for the season to be over. During this time I was talking football
with the coach and my then Chemistry teacher Harry Herder. When I became
eligible, I practiced with the team for about a week without helmet and pads.
The first day I could practice in full pads we did a breakdown drill and I
brought down the fastest back on the team, Matt Jakusz. What I didn’t realize
is during the drill I was supposed to slow down and wait for him to make his
move. I went full steam ahead, as did he. He challenged me and I him as we
both hit head on. We both got up seeing stars!
Coach Herder was thrilled and the next game I started as
middle linebacker. We had some great times on the JV team. The next year when
I was in ninth grade we had an excellent team and coach Herder had moved on.
We had another coach we really didn't respect too much and we pretty much ran
what we wanted to. That was perhaps the best team I played on as far as our
record was concerned. We cleaned house on everyone we played and had a lot of
fun doing it!
While I played just about every position on the football
field, this was the year I got to play quarterback! I started as halfback and
my second position was quarterback. Usually by mid 2nd quarter we started
putting the subs in and I moved to quarterback. We called all our own plays on
the field. It was wonderful! We killed all our opponents, frequently running
up the score.
It was also on this team where my position on defense solidified
as middle linebacker. My passion was always greater on defense and as middle
linebacker I had a great time nailing the poor soul who happened to have the
ball on the other side!
The next year, as a sophomore, I moved up to varsity. We
also had a great team that year and we made it all the way to the state
championships where we lost a heartbreaker. The only problem that year was
that I was small compared to most of the seniors on the team and for the first
time since my very first year I rode the bench most of the time. Fortunately,
we had an excellent team and I was usually able to play most of the third and
fourth quarters because we usually had the game pretty well wrapped up. In terms
of having fun it wasn’t nearly as fun as the previous two years or as the
forthcoming two years.
My junior year was all around good. I was a starter both
ways and I was a force on the team. I was known as a hard fearless hitter and
I was well respected by my teammates and my coaches. Our team that year was
not quite as good mainly because many of the excellent athletes in our school decided
they preferred to play soccer rather than football. It worked for them and
they were state champions for two years running. In the meantime, we were
having a ball. Our team was pretty tight knit and despite the fact that I
wasn't in the "jocks" group I was well accepted because of the way I
played. I finished the year with an award for All District First Team Linebacker.
I was pretty thrilled about that!
I was fortunate enough in my senior year to have the kind
of year many people only dream about. I had a beautiful girlfriend, a car,
great friends and I was captain of the football team. Everything about that
year seems like a dream and I feel very fortunate to have lived it. Much of what
I achieved I attribute to my parents who always made me work for whatever I
got, with the exception of school tuition. I believe these values enabled me
to have the kind of year I had. In any event, getting back to football, I was
co-captain of the team and while we didn't have a great team we sure had a lot
of fun.
I played offensive right guard and left middle linebacker
on defense. In addition, I was on all special teams. There were two games
during the year where I played every single play of the game. One game when I
played every play was in Española. I remember one play where, while going to
make a tackle, I fell in a pile of cow pie which covered the front of my
jersey. Apparently in Española they also use the football field to graze
cattle.
At the end of the year I was again chosen for All
District First Team Linebacker and received an award for Honorable Mention
Offensive Guard. The most meaningful award that year, however, came from my
teammates who gave me the Most Valuable Player Award, which was indeed very
special.
Those are years which will always live in my memory and
while I was never big enough to play when I got to the University of Colorado,
I believe what I learned in those years of playing football was as important as
any other part of my education.
On our Senior trip we went to Barranca del Cobre in México.
This was indeed an incredible trip. My friend Gus Appenzeller was with me on
the trip and we had a whale of a time. We first went to Chihuahua where we
spent the night and were thrilled we could just walk into any store and buy
whatever kind of liquor we wanted. The purchases we made came in very handy during
the remainder of the trip much to the dismay of our sponsors. We were amazed as
little kids went into stores to buy liquor and cigarettes for their parents or
perhaps for themselves as well!
The next day we hopped on a train that took us to the
canyon. The trip was spectacular and since my first trip I have taken the same
train ride two other times. Once we got to the canyon we found a guide to take
us to the bottom. There he left us and we were to travel for about five days
before we got to another place where another guide would meet us to take us
out. We followed the river for about three spectacular days.
Gus and I found one cave to stay in which belonged to
some of the local Tarahumara Indians. During that time of the year the Indians
were up higher and so we took over their cave for two nights.
It was there where one of our sponsors was injured. At
the time we felt it served him right because he wasn't very nice during the
first part of the trip. In any event, we couldn't go any further. Since we
had not reached the point where we were supposed to get out, we were stuck.
Fortunately, there was a little Indian boy who had been watching us curiously
and fortunately he led us out of the canyon. I remember thinking how ironic it
was. Here were all these gringos with big backpacks and more gear than you can
imagine contrasted with a little boy with his drum and small satchel with bread
and cheese. He would walk up ahead of us and then just sit down and play his
drum until we caught up. I’m quite sure he was amused with the whole situation
and was sure if he left we were sure to get lost!
Once we got to the top of the canyon we convinced some
guy to let us sleep in his stable and from there we caught a ride back to one
of the little towns where the train stopped. When I got back to Albuquerque I found out that my dad's first cousin Ronnie Warrick had died in a car
accident. As I mentioned previously, this had a profound effect on me as did
my Uncle Buddy's death about a month later. Ronnie was, I believe, my dad's
best friend; they were great buddies. I know it really hurt my dad. This,
along with the death of his brother Buddy, to whom he was also very close, hurt
my dad more than I believe we will ever know.
The Academy provides seniors the opportunity to do what
is called a “senior project.” Each student can choose a special field of
interest and do a sort of internship that lasts about five weeks. I chose to
go to Guatemala to study Spanish.
It was quite an experience. One of the first things I
remember is getting off the plane in Guatemala City. I had to find a place to
stay there for the night and then the next day get a bus to Quetzaltenango
better known as Xela. That first night was pretty scary. Even though I had
taken Spanish classes and could defend myself somewhat, this was different and a
combination of fears, uncertainties and doubts crept into my being. In any
event, I got through the night and managed to get to the right bus and head off
to Xela. It was amazing to me people would ask the bus to stop in the middle
of nowhere and they would promptly get off the bus and disappear into the
jungle.
When I finally got to Xela my "brother" was
there to meet me and take me to my new home for the next five weeks. The
family I lived with was very humble and had a terrific outlook on life. They
had no car, no phone and could barely make ends meet yet their spirit is
something I admire greatly to this day. I have thought about them often over the
years. This experience perhaps more than any other led me to my career in
International Business. Most importantly, I learned to value many things which
had nothing to do with money.
The school I went to was excellent. Each day for three
to four hours in the morning and three to four hours in the afternoon it was
one on one with a teacher who, in most cases, did not speak any English. While
it was frustrating at times, I was forced to speak the language. In addition,
the family with whom I lived spoke no English. I recall many evenings going
to the movies with the father of the family. He was a very decent, honest and
down to earth guy. After the movie we would walk home and talk for hours. I
also spent quite a bit of time with my "brother" and we went out and
partied quite a bit. One night he and I downed a bottle of some rot gut
whiskey and were generally pretty decadent.
It was during this time that my Uncle Buddy died. I
recall the day I found out he had died of complications from a heart operation
I was going to the beach. My “brother” couldn't come with me the same day and
so I went alone. I bought a hammock and strung it up on the beach. I had a
full day and night to think and reflect on life and death. After it was all
said and done I realized how important it is to live each and every day to the
fullest. We never know when our time is going to come so we might as well grab
all we can in this life! While both my Uncle Buddy and my cousin Ronnie died
at a very early age, I believe they both also lived very happy satisfying
lives.
One other place I remember particularly well in Guatemala was a natural hot spring up in the hills around Xela. It was beautiful. I had
never seen anything like it. The jungle was thick and lush and they had built
a swimming pool to gather the nice warm water that came from the spring. I
remember taking some pictures though after they were developed they didn't do
justice to the place. It was, in fact, breathtaking.
Another interesting experience I had while I was there
was trying to go out with one of the locals. I fell head over heels with one
little Guatemalan gal. In the end all I got was a little kiss and that was
about it! I was indoctrinated into the world of courtship Latin style. I
would go over to her house and sit and talk but her parents would never let her
go out with me. As I reflect, they were very smart parents! Although it was
not one of my more passionate relationships it certainly was very interesting.
Fortunately my parents always encouraged me to work. I mowed
lawns, sold raffle tickets and the like from a very early age. My first job
was mowing the neighbor’s yard. The guy was very “picky” always making a
thorough check on every little thing I did. It was kind of like getting
“detailed” in front of a firing squad!
Another one of my early jobs involved my mom, my dad and
my car. When I was 15 years old and able to drive they made the deal with me I
have previously mentioned. I paid half of the monthly payment and they paid
the other half on a recently acquired Honda Accord. The first question
obviously was how I was going to get the money to pay for my half.
They had a solution for this as well! Three times a week
I was “Sanitary Engineer” for my father’s law offices. This is just a nice way
to say I was a janitor and cleaned offices! In general, I think I did a pretty
good job though my dad might remember it differently. I would dust, throw out
the garbage, vacuum and clean the bathrooms, which was my least favorite part!
In addition, I would do a little deeper cleaning every once and a while.
Although I’m sure it was not as deep nor as often as my father would have
liked.
This also turned out to be pretty handy when I had a date
and we had no place to go. I always had a place to go. Warm and cozy with
music and privacy, very convenient indeed!
I was also introduced to the wonderful world of Pizza. I
started working at Shakey's Pizza Parlor. At this job I would make pizza in
front of a glass window where all the little kids would sit and watch. A lot
of them would make faces at us and we would sometimes make faces back. One of
the highlights of this job was that for each shift we were allowed to make and
eat a small pizza. We got pretty creative and made some pretty awesome pies,
particularly those which were on the spicy side!
Over the next several years, I worked in many different
pizza places. I made pizza, stocked ingredients for pizza, cleaned pizza
places, delivered pizza, charged for pizza and did just about everything else
that had to do with pizza.
Another job I had was working at “The Shoe’s Place”
selling shoes. We really had a ball working in Coronado Shopping Center and
checking out the chicks. It was during this time when some other guys who were
working at the store turned me on to the Rocky Horror Picture Show. This is
also where I met Sue, who later became a very important part of my life.
One summer I worked sweeping out houses in a new
subdivision in Rio Rancho. Before the painters would come we had to sweep out
the houses and get all the dirt and dust out. I worked that summer with this
older guy. It was then I realized how important it was to get a good
education. While he was a nice enough guy and we had many interesting
conversations, I certainly didn’t want to spend the rest of my life sweeping
out houses!
Another summer I worked at the golf course. I drove the
Sand Pro at 6 AM raking all the sand traps. This was actually a pretty good
job. Even though I had to get up early, I would usually meet Anthony Chavez
around the 11th hole and we would party a bit and have a good old time.
At another time I worked at a Pizza and Sub place at the
bottom of the hill near Corrales. This was not very eventful except for the
fact that I did everything. Made Pizza, made Subs, worked the cash register
and cleaned up.
Because of all of the jobs I had, I usually had my own
spending cash. This helped me appreciate the value of hard work and making my
own money. I was able to buy many things on my own. For certain occasions, like
my birthday and Christmas, in addition to what they bought for me, my folks
would still split 50-50 for special things I wanted. My jobs kept me pretty
busy. Between school, work and football I was always on the go. Fortunately, it
didn’t take away from my fun, for which I always found time, often to my folks’
dismay.
This was a wonderful time to be alive and in high
school. Even though I went to a prep school where there was a great emphasis
on school work, we always found time to have fun. As I mentioned before, I
always wondered what it would be like to go to a public high school where
school work wasn’t so demanding. In my view the public school kids really had
it made. They had all kinds of time to party hardy!
We had our special times though. One of the greatest of
all party spots was La Sala. This was an old house which had burned down out
on the mesa going towards the Sandia Mountains. All that was left was the
basement. We took it over and it became our hang out. Whenever we could we
would go and hang out. During school, after school and on weekends, it was the
place to be.
With my Cibola High School buddies we would go down to a
place by the river. We called it Asia. We would go down there, have keggers
and generally have a rip roaring time. In the summer when the weather was nice
we would dive into the Rio Grande and get whooshed downstream.
I was fortunate to have a pretty killer house for
parties. My folks were pretty lenient when it came to allowing my friends to
come over. We had a pool and a great big golf course as a backyard. Many a
time we hung out at my place with a few cold ones.
During high school I would also go out to meet Anthony
Chavez on the golf course to party. Since he had control of the watering
schedules, he would make sure our spot wouldn’t get watered until early in the
morning. We had a killer spot on the tee box of the fifth hole with a great
view of Albuquerque. We would pull up a chair, party and talk about all kinds
of things. My mom always thought Anthony was a bad influence on me. Looking
back on it, I suppose we were probably bad influences on each other.
Ambrose Armijo’s house was another party spot. He was
Stuart’s friend and had a room off to the side of his folks’ house. We used to
do major partying there. Albums I remember from that particular time are
“Foghat - Fool for the City,” “Pink Floyd - Animals” and “Ambrosia song Mama
Frog.” As I previously mentioned, another choice party spot was Stuart’s house
during the day. His folks worked so we had a perfect opportunity for
mid-afternoon partying. The thing I remember most is the post party clean up.
We were very efficient and had it down to a science. In no time we had things
spic and span and we were out of there.
At school we had a special locker room for the football
players. The lockers were particularly big to hold all the football gear. We
took one locker and set it aside for party gear. In particular, during
baseball season we had our share of parties there and in the tunnels under the
school with a cool custodian by the name of Gene. Frequent deodorant fights
disguised the party.
A wonderful part of growing up in the 70’s was the
music. While I’m sure each generation is sure they have the very best music, I
am certain there is nothing which will ever quite come close to the music of
the 70’s!
When Stuart started driving, we went to the Pit for my
very first concert, War. I was blown away by the whole atmosphere of the
concert. The people, the lights, the energy and the music immediately
penetrated my soul and my being. Stuart was driving an old beat up Willy’s
Jeep which had a faulty gas gauge. He would open the gas tank and put a stick
inside to see how much gas he had. On this particular day he must have read
the stick incorrectly because we ran out of gas on Coors Blvd. At that time,
there was little street lighting and Coors Blvd was a two lane road. While I
can’t remember exactly how we got out of the predicament, we somehow managed.
And all this before cell phones!
I went to many concerts, though I’m not exactly sure how
many. When I was dating Susan her brother Mike was a Disc Jockey at a local
radio station. He got tickets to all the shows coming to town and usually gave
us a couple. While each concert experience is unique and has its own character
and feel, the 70’s concerts still rank as some of my favorites.
The 70’s came to a close. I graduated in May of 1980 and
got ready for a big move to Boulder, Colorado. The summer before going to Boulder was one of basking in the sunshine while hitting on the local talent in Rio Rancho
and Albuquerque. Being eighteen, full of energy and spirit brought some great
times with friends and acquaintances. The summer of 1980 was a summer to
remember as the last when I would be living in Rio Rancho and in New Mexico on a permanent basis.
University of Colorado at Boulder
I don’t think I will ever forget the first day I arrived
in Boulder. My mom, dad, and Maya drove me to Boulder and the first place
where we ate was the International House of Pancakes just off the Boulder – Denver Turnpike. We then went to Nichols Hall which was to be my residence for
the next year. After unpacking my stuff which included the famous radio I
bought when I was about 10 years of age, a footlocker and my trusty filing
cabinet, my folks and Maya were off with teary eyes. My own eyes were also
tearing. I was both excited and afraid of the adventure to come.
I lived on First East in Nichols Hall. We later donned
the name, “The First East Beasts.” The first people I met when I got to school
were Gil Juarez and Tim Tafoya who were the local Chicano contingency. Since
we got there a couple of days early, we went to a few meetings and a few
parties waiting for the rest of the people to arrive at school.
On the day I finally met my roommate, Hugh Barber, he
took me by surprise. He was a short energetic guy with reddish – blonde hair.
The first thing that struck me was how disorganized and messy he was. Since we
lived in close quarters in a room that was about 3 meters by 5 meters (12ft by
20ft) his disorderliness was at first somewhat of a shock. I soon got used to
it and we became great friends over the next two semesters of school.
Our first order of business was to check out the local
fraternities who were all having their Rush parties. We went to several and
drank their beer though with the exception of two guys on our floor, we
remained independent. The First East Beasts soon developed energy for partying
and having fun and we were legends in our own minds!
There were several humorous events that occurred during
that first year in Boulder. One of the first things we instigated was a
Wednesday evening study break. One of the guys on our floor was older, 22 or
23. His name was Tony Leavitt and he was from Maine. The age is significant
because he was able to buy beer and liquor for us. The Wednesday evening study
breaks became a tradition. We started the party at 10:00 PM and it usually went
on until the wee hours of the morning. One of the rages during that year was
upside down shots. We would do upside down shots of Tequila and Vodka which
were usually mixed in our mouth with Rose’s Lime Juice. Good healthy fun.
Needless to say, many of us didn’t make our morning classes on Thursdays.
Friday afternoons usually entailed a trip to Liquor Mart
with Tony where we would stock up for the weekend. We would usually start the
party on our floor and then wander out into the campus to see what kind of
trouble we could get into. At that time we had a group of guys from First East
that usually hung out together. There was me, Hugh Barber, David Fishman, Bill
Gallen, Mike, Josh, Randy, Wormy and our Resident Advisor who was supposed to
keep us out of trouble. In fact our RA often joined us and was an integral
part of our fun.
October 31st rolled around and I experienced my first
Halloween in Boulder. Halloween in Boulder is an event like no other. The
town goes wild. Everyone dresses up and it is one huge party. I can’t
remember right now what I was dressed up as though I do remember I had my face
painted and for some reason I ended up sleeping in David Fishman and Bill
Gallen’s room which was right next to mine. More than likely my roomie Hugh
locked me out of our room because his girlfriend was visiting. The next
morning my folks called and Hugh came to get me in Fish’s room. I remember
going to my room to get the phone and getting scared when I saw my face in the
mirror.
Dorm life was a blast. One of the things everyone did
was to try and make their dorm rooms as distinctive as possible. Some went
with bright and rosy motifs, others with black lights and posters. Hugh and I
had an interesting combo of Playboy super models posters and a wonderful plant
which we put in an electrical spool in the middle of our room. Everyone who
came into our room was required to autograph the spool in their own unique
way. It made for quite a conversation piece.
When November rolled around and the weather started
turning, we all got out our ski equipment and test drove our equipment in the
halls. It was hilarious watching everyone skiing around the carpet in the
hallway. Probably my best buddy during that time was David Fishman. I had a
pair of ultra light Hexel skis that were about 180 cm. He convinced me to get
some “real boards.” I found an advertisement for someone who was selling some
downhill Atomic skis. I never knew the exact length though they were close to
220 cm. The first time there was an opportunity to hit the slopes, we were
there like a bear. I had my Honda Accord, complete with ski racks, and we
never missed a chance to head for the hills. All I needed was the first time
to strap on my newly purchased cruiser skis and I was hooked! I really dug the
long giant slalom turns and developed a serious Need for Speed!
When the second semester rolled around, several of us,
including Fish and me, arranged our schedules so that all or almost all of our
classes were on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays were
reserved for skiing. We had discount passes and had the whole thing figured
out. Our favorite place to go was Arapahoe Basin. We learned that mountain
like it was the back of our hand. In the end we were skiing for about $12 to
$15 per day including gas, tickets and food. Our first order of business each
day was to bury a bottle of wine in the snow to be popped open later in the day
for lunch. We had a blast!
Skiing with Fish brought a whole new element into my
skiing style. I was previously a bump guy and loved the challenge of the
bumps. With my new downhill skis, I became a cruiser. More importantly, I
learned the wonderful feeling of dashing in and out of the trees. Arapahoe Basin was ideal for this! We would hop on the Palavacini lift and ski it all day
without going on the same exact route all day. It was steep, deep and very
diverse with a long run out at the end which allowed us to rev up our engines
and go.
Lunch time would come and we would zero in on our stashed
wine bottle. Anything left from the bottle went into our bota bags for a
little warmth on the chairlift. We did manage to break a few bota bags which
resulted in an interesting stain on our chest, not to mention the odor of alcohol
to keep us going.
When I look back on that particular year, it contains
some of the most memorable moments of my life. We were all on our own for the
first time; all looking to find ourselves and going skiing as much as
possible. Add all that up and you get lots of craziness and very little school
work being done. It was a time also when I met Robin Reinacker, who was my
girlfriend initially and later became one of my best friends at school.
During my first year of school I took on a couple of different
jobs. The first job was with the Colorado Public Interest Research Group. My
job was to go around with a clipboard asking people pretty silly questions
about the environment. That didn’t last for very long. The next job I got was
at PSI Design. PSI manufactured really hip furniture made from wood. Most of
the pieces are fairly large and hang from the roof or a tree somewhere. We
made chairs, loveseats and airplanes for little kids. The process went from
drawing patterns on the boards, cutting, sanding, finishing and assembling.
After I started working there, I got a job for my friend Tim Tafoya who left
part of one of his fingers in the band saw one day. Ouch!! Both Tim and I
continued to work at PSI for a few years. Twenty years later I still have some
hanging chairs to show for my hard work and most are still in pretty good
shape!
Around this time my dad invited me to go on a trip with
him and we took a tour which included Los Angeles, San Francisco and Las Vegas. The highlights were a ball game in Los Angeles, walking along Fisherman’s Wharf
in San Francisco and taking in some shows in ever sparkling Las Vegas.
While the trip was enjoyable with regards to where we
went and what we did, it was also a trip which would change my relationship with
my father for the better. As we were sitting in our hotel room in Los Angeles, he came clean with me. Our relationship had been somewhat forced for many
years primarily because I didn’t feel he treated my mother the way I thought he
should.
He told me, “Robbie, I know I haven’t always been a good
father and husband. There are things which I have done which I am sure I could
have done better. I just want to let you know I’m not perfect and while I do
the best I can, I realize that isn’t always good enough. I’m sorry for
anything I’ve done to hurt you.”
This was the first time I had seen my dad in this light.
To me he was always the authority figure who was beyond reproach. He was the
successful lawyer, the confident politician and always the life of the party.
He was not the one to sit down and lay his emotions on the line. The fact he
did this with me helped me to see him in a different light. This trip made me
realize that in addition to being my father, he was also a friend and human
being who has his virtues and faults.
I decided to get customized license plates during my stay
in Boulder. My 1977 Blue Honda which was a great car and ran strong throughout
my years at CU was originally registered in New Mexico. So I went to the Department
of Motor Vehicles and asked for plates which said, “I CU.” I was pretty proud
of my creativity and loved going driving around with those plates until I got
my residency in Colorado and had to change them.
About two weeks before my sophomore year started in Boulder, I returned and helped my friend Bill Gallen and his dad refinish a basement on a
townhouse they bought. Bill, Randy Cundit and a guy named Gary were my
roommates for that year. The basement was to be my home and it was pretty
killer! I had bought an old refrigerator in Albuquerque that had been turned
into a beer meister. We had cold beer on tap and darts in the basement which
led to a great party atmosphere.
David Jones made an incredible wood handle for my beer
meister. When I sold it a few years later, the person asked, “It comes with
the handle, right?” I mumbled something about it being a gift from one of my
best friends and much to my dismay heard myself say, “Sure, why not?” As I
reflect on it now, it was probably the best thing to do. While I have often
wished I hadn’t given it away, it is probably still to this day in use
somewhere, with the same spectacular handle!
I had my waterbed set up along with my armoire in a
separate room in the basement. The only problem was it got rather cold down
there though it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be handled with a space heater.
In those days we were pretty frugal with electricity bills. On one long
weekend, I think for Thanksgiving, we turned down the heat only to find our pet
bird Fred frozen to death. While this was a traumatic time, we were able to
pull ourselves up and continue on with our lives.
It was also during fall of my sophomore year when we
found out the Rolling Stones were coming to Folsom Field in Boulder. My friend
Bill and I came up with a bright idea. We decided we were going to sneak into
the concert by climbing the wall. Bill was a hard core rock climber and was
convinced we could do it. This was, of course, after a few marathon sessions
with our beer meister. On our way home one night from a party we decided to
test it out. We went to the field and after getting up about 20 or 30 feet, I
had no place left to go. With no hand holds, I peeled off the face of the rock
and fell on my heels and then my backside. I got the wind knocked out of me
pretty good. After catching my breath, we rode home. The next morning I
couldn’t walk. It took me about a week to get back on track again. In the
end, we ended up buying tickets to see the Rolling Stones!
Rolling Stones weekend came around and my buddy David
Jones came up with a few of his friends. Their names were Joe, Carl and
Melissa. It was also right around Halloween which meant it was nonstop party.
We cruised the Pearl Street Mall and went to all kinds of parties leading up to
the concert. When concert time came around, Mick Jagger and his buddies were
incredible. There was nonstop energy for the entire concert. We all had a
great time. When it came time for David and his friends to head home there
were a couple of my roommates who wanted to be packed in Melissa’s bag because
she was a cutie.
My sophomore year was one of getting into the rhythm of
school and having a good time partying with my friends. While I got to be
pretty good friends with Bill Gallen, I never really got too close to Randy and
Gary. They were both frat rats and had an entirely different agenda. They
were always going off with their fraternity brothers doing different insane
things. Bill at that time was heavy into climbing and was constantly going up
to the Flatirons to do some bouldering. I went several times with him and
while I did some rock climbing, I never really got into it. Hanging on to the
side of a rock for my life was not my idea of a good time. While it definitely
brought an adrenaline rush, it just wasn’t for me. All in all I spent more
time with Bill, David Fishman, Hugh Barber and Robin Reinacker. All in all,
the townhouse experience was very positive!
Once my sophomore year was over, I headed back to Albuquerque. My dad helped me get a job at United Wholesale Liquor through his friend Mike
Chiordi. Talk about the fox in the hen house! My main job was to go around the
warehouse with a shopping basket filling orders that would be packed and loaded
onto trucks for shipping to the restaurants, bars and package liquor stores.
One of the guys I met there played football for St. Pius, who was our arch
rival when I was at the Academy. It turns out he played right offensive guard
and left middle linebacker just like me. We played directly across from each
other on both offense and defense! He graduated one year before I did so we
played against each other when I was a junior and he was a senior in high
school. We both remembered each other very well and this led to a fast
friendship.
By the end of the summer I was promoted out of the
warehouse and my friend and I were riding around town delivering liquor. For
some strange reason I can’t recall, it didn’t seem to matter that neither one
of us was twenty one years of age, which was the legal drinking age in New Mexico. Neither of us minded one little bit. It was during that summer I started a
collection of miniature liquor bottles which Maya later inherited. I believe
they may have all been subsequently polished off, though I’m not sure who
initiated the miniature bottle fest!
Junior year I decided to move out of the townhouse and I
rented a condo with Tim Tafoya and Gilbert Juarez on Valmont St. fairly close
to the Pearl Street Mall. We were the resident Chicanos of our group and got
along well together. Tim was from Golden and Gil from Denver. They both had
jobs on the weekends close to their homes and so they were normally away on
weekends. This was fine by me because that left the house to me and I could do
as I pleased. Both Tim and Gil were great roommates, very easy to get along
with and friendly. At that point the novelty of being away from home and at
school had worn off quite a bit and we had mellowed somewhat although we did
have our moments!
As usual when Halloween came around we were there like a
bear. I dressed up as a G.I. Joe and we all headed to the Pearl Street Mall.
I don’t remember how they got there though I went on my bike. For most of the
time I lived in Boulder I went everywhere on my bike. We wandered the mall and
laughed at all the crazies for awhile. Later on in the evening, I lost them
and ended up going inside the Flatirons Theater where there were lots of people
and lots of dancing. I met a couple of people I knew and met a new friend from
the Ritz, a funky store on the mall. As usual, Halloween was one of the
highlights of the year.
Monterrey
In January, I left to study abroad in Monterrey, México.
The school I went to was El Instituto Tecnológico de Estudios Superiores en Monterrey, better known as “El Tech.” I got there with visions of speaking Spanish all the
time and being fully immersed in the society. What I didn’t expect was to meet
some great friends from the United States. One was Bill McIlwaine and the
other was Leo Redmond. I also ended up moving into an apartment close to the
university with a girl named Cathy.
While Cathy and I never dated, we became very good
friends. We lived in a cinder block apartment with almost no furniture. I had
taken a little boom box with me to México and it was during this time I really
learned how to juggle well. To this day whenever I hear a Joe Jackson song I
automatically start looking for three objects to practice my juggling! My only
challenge was to keep the flying balls away from the corner where we had a
stack of Tecate cans all the way to the ceiling. Drinking Tecate with lime,
salt and jalapeños for chasers was our favorite pastime. A couple of years
later, I found out Cathy died in a tragic car accident.
Life at The Tech was great. I learned all about “mañana”
and focused on having a good time. My first classroom experiences there were a
trip. I thought I spoke Spanish fairly well though was humbled when I actually
had to take all of my classes and exams in Spanish. The teachers took it easy
on the foreigners and we were all able to get passing grades without too much
trouble.
Bill and I had a great time raising hell in México. We
went to Tampico several times. On one of the trips I hooked up with a little
coastal gal and we went round and around a bit. One day we went to the beach
and Bill lay out in the sun a little too long getting as red as a lobster. I
don’t think he recovered for a couple of weeks! Later that night I remember us
all going to a dance. The disco song “Gloria” was blasting on the dance floor
and we had a good old time!
One of my trips to Tampico involved going to Nogales to get my visa renewed. Rather than getting a student visa, several of us decided
we would just go in on visitor’s visas and renew them when the time came. If
I’m not mistaken we had to renew them after 3 months. I really didn’t think
anything of it, so I went from Monterrey to Nogales and bought a ticket to go
to Tampico a couple of hours later.
I walked across the border and into the USA where I stayed for approximately 8 minutes, at which time I turned around and walked back to
México. As I was going back in, the immigration official stopped me and took
me into a “little room” for further interrogation. My backpack had several
books from the Tech and I had some tortillas which I had also purchased in Monterrey to snack on.
The immigration officer knew what was going on and I knew
he knew. I was stuck. He delayed me just enough to miss my bus to Tampico. We finally negotiated and he let me go. It cost me a bottle of cologne, a few
pesos and I think I may have thrown a tortilla in for good measure. As I
boarded a bus for Tampico a few hours later, I sighed in relief and continued
on my merry way.
When Spring Break rolled around, Leo Redmond and I threw
some stuff in our backpacks and headed out for an adventure through México with
a couple of hundred bucks in our pockets and a deep desire for adventure. We
hitched and bussed our way through a good chunk of real estate in México.
We started our adventure by taking a bus to México City. We stayed there for the night, wandered around a bit the next morning and
headed to another station where we took a bus to Guadalajara. We arrived early
afternoon and went to get something to eat. A short time later we hooked up
with some locals and started partying. Although our plan was initially to stay
in Guadalajara for several days, they convinced us to go with them that night
to Puerto Vallarta. After a pretty steady run of beer and fun, we rolled into
the bus station about 11 or 12 PM. We caught a bus and were on our way to Puerto Vallarta.
As we pulled into Puerto Vallarta, the sun was peeking
over the mountains. We headed straight for the beach, first stopping by a
liquor store to restock. We found a place to camp and set up. I recall
needing to clean up pretty bad and going into a bathroom close to the pool at
one of the hotels nearby. As I was cleaning up a funny old guy came in the
bathroom and said with a smile, “Don’t mind me, you can keep bathing there!”
We were talking a bit and after he did his business he washed his hands and we
continued our banter. When we said goodbye, he shook my hand with his still
wet hand said, “Sorry about that, I always piss all over myself!” I laughed so
hard I thought I was going to die! Fortunately he was only kidding as he had
just washed his hands.
After hanging out in Puerto Vallarta for a few days, we
hopped on a ferry and headed over to Cabo San Lucas. We really had no idea at
all where we were when we arrived so we stocked up on supplies and asked where
the beach was. We found one beach and decided there must be a better place to
camp up the coast. We ended up huffing and puffing our way over a mountain
which had no trail we could find. When we came down the other side, we came to
the most spectacular beach I had ever seen.
The waves were huge and crashed into the beach. We found
a secluded cove and decided it was “the” place to camp. We set up and began to
enjoy one of my most memorable moments at a beach. There was absolutely no one
around. While the surf was a little too stiff for us, we were just happy to be
in paradise. I felt total freedom. We ended up staying there for three days
and two nights. In the entire time we were there, we saw only one other
person. When we ran out of supplies, we headed back to civilization and caught
a ferry to Mazatlan.
In Mazatlan we met up with Bill who had rented a room
with a couple of other people. We had our tent pitched in a campground and
showered and cleaned up in the hotel. Bill and I met two sisters from Los Angeles and had the time of our lives for about five days or so. The girls were
staying at a nice place on the beach so we made ourselves useful, as
companions. We went to the discos, stayed up late on the beach and generally
had a wonderful time. The four of us partied together and then we would go our
separate ways for private time. I later met my friend again in Los Angeles for my cousin Dawn’s wedding. She met me at the airport and whisked me off to
the place where my old girlfriend Sally Kitts was performing in a band
somewhere in LA. From Mazatlan we cut out and took a bus back to Monterrey to finish our semester at the Tech.
I decided to stay in Boulder and get caught up on a
couple of classes to make my senior year easier. I rented a house with the
Fish, Josh Racko and another guy who buzzed around in a Vespa. While we were
all taking some classes, we were much more interested in partying and having a
good time.
I got a job at Abo’s, delivering pizza which is among the
best jobs I have ever had. While I met up with a bozo every once in a while,
in general the people tipped well and they were always happy to see the “Pizza
Guy.” When they didn’t have cash for a tip, they were always happy to
improvise with whatever they had at hand, which in turn led to some very
interesting evenings and even a romantic interlude.
One day as I was in the gym, I got interested in the
aerobics classes which I always saw going on. I signed up and was hooked in a heartbeat!
There was good music, good exercise and about 20 to 30 good looking ladies
jumping around in tights. Things don’t get too much better than that! In
addition, there were only a couple of guys in every class, so that made things
even more interesting.
One particularly sprite girl caught my eye early on in
one of my classes. While we never talked, there was definite chemistry going
on, particularly during the song “Drop the Pilot” which was part of the
instructor’s sequence of songs. I always managed to position myself towards
the back of the class so I could keep a good eye on everything and make sure
everything went smoothly.
I frequently stayed after class and juggled in the gym
which had great high ceilings and a nice hard floor to bounce my juggling
balls. On the last day of one of my classes, I heard my nice looking young
lady speaking broken English to the professor. She was giving the professor a
gift and when she was finished, I went and talked to her. When I learned she
was from Venezuela, I immediately wanted to practice my Spanish. While she
seemed semi-interested, there was nothing which really led me to believe it
would be more than a casual acquaintance.
This was the first time I talked to Haydee who would
become my wife and who has been my companion and best friend for the past 23
years. As I write these lines at 44 years of age, she has been with me for
over half of my life!
I asked her if she would be interested in going to a
party that night and she gave me a resounding, “Maybe!” I asked her for her
phone number and she said she didn’t have a phone. While times have changed
over the years, in the 1980’s everyone had phones! So I took this as a brush
off. In any event, I gave her my phone number and asked her to call me if she
wanted to go.
I went back home and didn’t think much would come of my
meeting with my Latin American princess. While I wanted much more, I really
didn’t expect much to happen. To my surprise, later that night I got a call.
As it turns out, that call was the beginning of a wonderful future together.
I later found out Haydee was playing a game of backgammon
with a guy by the name of Fernando. Haydee was living with him and his wife
Gisela in Boulder. The bet was that if Haydee lost she had to call the gringo
who wanted to speak Spanish. If she won, she wouldn’t have to! She later told
me she didn’t really want to go out with anybody who wanted to speak Spanish
because she wanted to speak English. Fortunately for me, she “lost the game”
and called me. I’d like to think while she “lost” the battle, she definitely
“won” the war! We decided to go to the party and she told me where she lived.
I went to get her and we went to a party my roommates told me about.
I really didn’t know many of the people at the party and
neither did she so we spent the night talking and really digging and getting
into each other. We talked about a lot of things in a mixture of Spanish,
English and body language to get our point across. I invited her back to my
place with a special plan, to go on the roof. Much to my satisfaction and her
surprise, she accepted. We climbed up on the roof and looked at the stars and
talked forever.
I was leaving in a couple of days to go back home for a
couple of weeks and she was planning on going back home to Venezuela in a week or so. We met the next day up on the hill in Boulder. While I really liked her
and we had a spectacular time together, I didn’t think much more was going to
come of it. We both had different plans and so I pretty much said goodbye,
though she said her plans weren’t set in stone.
I went home to Albuquerque for a few weeks and then went
back to Boulder to start my fall semester. I called Haydee when I got back on
the chance she might still be there. Lo and behold, she was! We started going
out together.
I had found a great deal living with two Okies whose
names were both Debbie in a killer house with a great view. I was starting my
senior year of college and Haydee was dedicated to studies and exercise. After
a while, Haydee came to live with us and together we all had a great time! The
two Debbie’s worked and weren’t going to school so they were in full party
mode! They both took Haydee under their wings as a sort of mascot. Haydee had
a smile which wouldn’t quit and an infectious laugh she freely gave which made
everyone else laugh as well. They knew all the right bars with all the best
deals from Tuesday through Saturday. I joined in the fun every chance I got.
During the fall of 1983 I had a job which I will always
remember as one of my favorites. I was “The Beer Guy” at the football games.
While I don’t remember exactly how I came about being The Beer Guy, it was a
blast! I would go to the game about an hour or so before kickoff and start
peddling beer primarily to the student section. While I have had many jobs
where people have been happy to see me, including being “The Pizza Guy,”
perhaps none compares to being The Beer Guy. Everybody loves The Beer Guy! I
wore some striped pants which were loose fitting and high top sneakers. I
would get soaked from head to toe with beer and love every minute of it. While
I typically drank some of my profits, on a good day I would walk away by the
end of the third quarter with about $80 or $90 in profit for a couple of hours
work. Every job should be like being The Beer Guy!
When Halloween came around Haydee and the Okies decided
they wanted to dress me up as a girl. While I hesitated initially, they were
very convincing and ultimately got their wish. They put make up on me, did my
nails, put me in high heels and sent me out onto the Pearl Street Mall. I
believe it was one of the worst nights of my life! I really didn’t like being
a girl at all. I thought guys were hitting on me and didn’t like the feeling
at all. The girls, on the other hand, all had a great time parading me around
like a trophy.
That winter I took Haydee to my home in Rio Rancho and
she met my folks for the first time. We continued to go out together and in
March or April of 1984 she went back to Venezuela, much to my dismay. While we
both wanted to keep in touch, we also knew we would be a long way from each
other. We talked on the phone and kept in contact throughout the next several
months.
I finished my senior year at the university with a pretty
light schedule. I had only something like 10 or 12 hours since I had taken
classes the previous summer. The class I enjoyed the most was Italian. It was
my second semester and I loved it! I also had some great classmates, one who
kept me occupied after hours, as well as a terrific teacher who made it all
more interesting.
My graduation was somewhat anticlimactic. While it was
fun and I enjoyed it, there wasn’t really the same kind of closeness with my
classmates which I had experienced in High School. I was just happy to get out
and be on my way. I graduated with a Bachelor’s Degree in Business
Administration from the University of Colorado at Boulder in May of 1984.
I was burned out on school and considered taking some
time off to travel and perhaps work some place exotic for a year or two. My
mom and dad didn’t share my enthusiasm for putting school off. They made me an
offer which was difficult to refuse. They told me if I went to graduate school
right away they would pay the tuition. Otherwise, I was on my own.
While I was anxious to take some time off, I didn’t want
to be stupid so I took them up on their offer! I was accepted into the Graduate School of International Management, also known as Thunderbird, in Glendale, Arizona.
I was very interested in language and international
studies so Thunderbird fit the bill perfectly! I had what I considered to be a
solid base for Spanish and Italian came pretty easily to me. I was starting to
fancy myself as an international executive jet-setting around the world. In
addition, the program at Thunderbird could be completed in 12 months if you
were willing to take a full load for two semesters and one full summer.
I took the summer off and went back to Albuquerque before
school. I believe this was one of the only times I didn’t have some type of
job. My big events of the summer were hanging out with friends and organizing
a garage sale to raise funds to go visit Haydee in Venezuela. After the garage
sale I had some greenbacks; we were, however, minus a few things my mom would
later ask about!
My trip to Venezuela was full of emotion. I planned to
go there for one month. While I had traveled internationally and been away
from home already for some time, this particular trip somehow felt bigger. Plus
I was going to see my Latin Princess. We had kept in contact and, if anything,
the distance had made us grow fonder of each other despite the hardship of
living so far away.
I got to Venezuela and Haydee took me to her house where
she lived with her mother in Chacao, a neighborhood in Caracas, Venezuela. Her sister Beatriz and niece Mayrím also lived there at the time. Haydee’s mother was
wonderful as was the rest of her family. They all treated me beautifully.
While we used Chacao, her house as a home base, we took
several side trips. Haydee had asked for time off from her work at a liquor
distribution company. When they didn’t give her the time off she wanted, she
quit. They later rehired her after I left.
On one trip Haydee’s sister Beatriz let us borrow her car
and we went to the beach down on the coast about an hour away from Caracas. The car was a little Renault and I had a heck of a time driving there for the
first time. The traffic and the flow were completely different from anything I
was used to. It was like race car driving through streets. I felt like I had
to be totally prepared and ready for anything at anytime. On one jaunt to the
coast I was driving through a tunnel and changed lanes in the middle of the
tunnel. I was immediately reprimanded for committing a traffic violation!
While pretty much anything went in terms of driving, I learned there were
certain rules which were respected.
On another trip we took a bus from Caracas to Mérida. I
will never forget getting awakened in the middle of the night as we were going
through the mountains. I didn’t have my contact lenses on so I was blind as a
bat. I was dazed and confused, which happens from time to time, as an officer
from the National Guard made us get off the bus. As he asked everyone for
identification, I had no idea what was going on. I finally gave him my
passport and, after giving my documents special scrutiny, he allowed me and the
others to get back on the bus.
In the morning when we awoke, we found ourselves deep in
the Andes Mountains. Switchbacks took us back and forth through treacherous
terrain. The mountains fell off dramatically into an abyss below us. The
scenery was spectacular and while it reminded me of Colorado it was unlike
anything I had ever seen because the vegetation was so different. It started
out lush and green and as we climbed above the tree line turned into short
scrubby tundra.
We arrived at an inexpensive, nice hotel in the middle of
the mountains. There were horses which we rode and a river called the “Río
Chama” which ran close to the property. It was rather cold and we bundled up
with all the clothes we had taken along because we weren’t very well equipped
for the chilly conditions.
We walked around the town of Mérida which seemed to me at
the time to be quaint and quiet. We also went up on the tram which took us way
up into the mountains. While I don’t recall if all three stations were working
at the time, I am pretty sure we got to the top of the second station.
In Mérida we went to a nearby park which had a sort of
zoo inside of it. While it wasn’t a very extensive zoo, it did have several
animals and birds. One of the cages had a lion. I’ll never forget one guy who
stuck his shoe past the railing and close enough to the lion’s cage that the
lion started pawing at his shoe. I was sure the lion was going to somehow drag
him into the cage and eat him alive though he would have never fit through the
bars. I suppose I imagined the lion would shred him into little pieces before
dragging him in!
We went back to Caracas and attended a wedding for one of
Haydee’s best friends Lucy Matticoli who married a guy named Alberto. It was a
big deal with lots of liquor and everybody dressed up nice and fancy. It was
my first big party in Venezuela and I was quite impressed. I found out the
Venezuelans definitely know how to party hardy!
From there we took a bus and a ferry to go to Margarita Island which has lots of tourism and great beaches. We arrived and found an inexpensive,
rather dumpy kind of place in the city of Porlamar to stay. We immediately
went to the beach and while we went into the water somebody took my sandals.
Haydee still laughs to this day when she tells the story about my trying to
cuss out some guys who were standing close to where we had left our things. I
was convinced they had something to do with the disappearance of my sandals and
they seemed only slightly amused at my predicament. To make matters worse,
while walking back to the hotel barefoot, I cut my foot on some glass.
Needless to say, that evening I wasn’t a happy camper. Talk about being at the
Bottom of a Bounce!
Everything else about Margarita was wonderful. We had
great weather and went to several different places on the island. We went to
Juan Griego which has a spectacular fort overlooking the ocean, to La Restinga
which has boats which buzz through marvelous mazes of mangroves and to a beach
made up of tiny pieces of seashells. No sand, just seashells. It was
incredible!
When it finally came time for me to leave Caracas, I did
so with tears in my eyes, hoping Haydee and I would somehow be able to make
things work. By that time I was starting to get a little nervous in terms of
my own emotions and feelings. I had always managed to find something “wrong”
with the girls I had dated. While they were great girls in their own right,
there was something which made me believe they weren’t “the” one, though I’m
sure several would have made excellent long-term companions.
With Haydee it was different. I couldn’t find anything I
didn’t like about her. I loved her smile. I loved her attitude. I loved her
laugh. I loved the way she treated me. I loved the way she talked and
walked. I loved the way she loved me. Most of all I loved her spirit. I was
hooked. I remember going back on the plane to the USA from Venezuela thinking someday I would marry her. While the thought terrified me in a way, I knew it
was to be...
I packed up my trusty Honda and headed out to Grad School. The American Graduate School of International Management, better known as
Thunderbird, is on an old Air Force Base in Glendale, Arizona, just outside of Phoenix. The school dorms are actually old barracks for the troops.
The student body is extremely diverse, coming from
virtually every part of the world and speaking just about any language you can
imagine. The curriculum is based on three main pillars. Business,
International Studies and Language. Students are trained to work in an
international environment any place in the world.
When I arrived, I immediately started looking for a place
to live and found a house located a big city block away from the campus. My
roommates were Mike Kundrat and his girlfriend whose name I can’t recall. He
was tall, blonde and very athletic. She was short, feisty and Chicana. He
worked as a teacher and she worked at whatever she could. Hal, the owner of
the house, owned a store outside of Phoenix selling jewelry and rocks.
One of my first and my most lasting friends from
Thunderbird was Bret Rogers. We were in many of the same classes and both had
an intense interest in Latin America. We would study together and hit the
local bar on Thursday nights where faculty and students joined to sample the
world’s finest spirits.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I was scheming how to get
Haydee back by my side. We talked back and forth and somehow came up with the
cash to buy Haydee’s ticket back to USA. She came in October and we were once
again together.
While I was focused on my studies, Haydee was focused on
working and doing exercise. We bought a bike for her and she joined a gym
which was about two big city blocks away. She would go back and forth
sometimes three times a day to do aerobics and exercise classes morning,
afternoon and evening. In addition, she worked at Washington Inventory Service
and La Parrilla Suiza.
School was pretty intense and required long periods of
concentration and study. Fortunately, the courses were interesting and right
up my alley. I was able to test out of a good portion of the basic language
and start right in on business language. Though the business courses were
pretty basic, they were lively and full of international flavor. The
International Studies classes were fun and dynamic.
Mike and I got a along great. We set up a horseshoe pit
in the backyard along with some floodlights. We spent a lot of time drinking
beer and pitching shoes late into the night in the mild evenings which were the
norm rather than the exception in Glendale. In addition, we got out onto the
tennis courts several times a week where he frequently took advantage of me in
a very unkind way though I eventually got better and made a match of it!
By December of 1984 I knew I wanted to share my life with
Haydee. I went out and bought the most expensive engagement ring I could
afford at the time, which wasn’t much. You need to really look for the diamond
to see it properly and hope you don’t have anything in your eye to cloud your
vision! In early 1985 I got down on a knee and, with my fish in an aquarium
beside me as witnesses, asked Haydee to marry me. Looking at her with tears of
joy in my own eyes, her eyes became moist as well, and she said, “Yes, I would
love to marry you!”
Needless to say I was thrilled and by the smile on her
face, I knew she also was happy as well. We decided it would be best to get
married after I graduated from Thunderbird. We thought a lot about how we
wanted to get married. While we were in no hurry, there were so many factors
involved. For that very reason we decided not to stress about the whole thing
and just make it simple when the time came.
One day early in the second semester at Thunderbird, my
friend Bret, told me, “Rob come with me to a meeting tonight.”
I asked him, “What’s it about?”
He told me, “Don’t ask questions and just come!”
I did as instructed, and was introduced to Toastmasters
International, a non-profit organization dedicated to improving public speaking
skills. If he would have told me the type of meeting I was going to, I may
have never gone. Fortunately, he didn’t and after the first meeting I was
hooked. I signed up to do my first speech the following week! I’ll never
forget the topic. Well perhaps one day I might, though this particular
paragraph will be an excellent reminder! My talk was about myself and I expressed
my passion for skiing.
I discovered I really enjoyed getting up in front of
people and talking. The exhilaration and adrenaline rush made me feel alive!
The atmosphere within Toastmasters instigated immediate improvement through
constructive feedback. Before I knew it, I had won a couple of awards for best
speech and best Table Topics presenter.
I burned the midnight oil and Haydee remained very
active. She was totally dedicated to exercising and working. At La Parrilla
Suiza she was hired initially as a hostess and dazzled the patrons with her
magnificent smile and wonderful disposition. After a while I began working at
La Parrilla Suiza as well. We ate some wonderful food during that particular
period of our lives! Haydee’s favorite was the baked cheese with tortillas.
My favorite was Las Chilaquilas and the grilled meat.
Haydee worked in a few different jobs within the
restaurant though at the end of our time there she was a waitress and I a
waiter. We had great fun at the restaurant! The people who worked there were
wonderful and we became fast friends with several of them. Many of the people
in the kitchen were from México and we got along fabulously with them as we did
with the locals.
At the end of the first semester several people from
Toastmasters asked me if I wanted to be president of the club and I replied,
“Sure, why not!” I was elected president and was in charge of running the club
for about three months. As it turns out, my decision to join Toastmasters
would have a tremendous impact on my life for years to come.
In May of 1985 Haydee’s mom got really sick. Haydee had
a bad feeling about things and decided to go home while I kept my nose to the
grindstone. Haydee was with her mother through the end of a difficult bout
with Leukemia and was by her side when she died June 9th, one day after my
birthday. Haydee was devastated. I consoled her as best I could, though I
could feel the pain in her voice when we spoke.
In the meantime, I had moved out of the house with Mike
and his girlfriend and into an apartment closer to campus. It was summer time
and Phoenix was in full scorch. You could fry eggs on the sidewalk during the
day and the evenings brought little relief. It was too hot in the day to go
into the swimming pool and though it was still like a hot tub in the evenings,
many of us would venture into the pool in the evenings for some hope of cooling
off.
During that summer I found several new friends and spent
a lot of time with my Toastmasters activities. My friend Bret Rogers had gone
down to Argentina for a study abroad program so I hooked up with an Asian
contingency and had a great time.
Haydee returned to Arizona and we sat down to talk about
our plans together. We had just spent some serious bucks sending her back to Venezuela, so funds were low. We decided it was too expensive to go to Caracas to get
married. In addition, with her mom now gone, the environment was not very
conducive to having a big blow out wedding.
Arizona held no special appeal long term and while we had
some good friends there, we couldn’t see getting married there. My mom and dad
had just split up after 26 years of marriage, so Albuquerque was dicey at best
with emotions running at an all time high. The place which made the most sense
was Boulder. It was where we met and where our life started together so it
seemed logical we should begin our married life under the shadows of Boulder’s Flatirons.
As late July rolled around, I was in the middle of my
final classes. One of the classes I remember well was Latin American Studies.
For the final exam, our task was an in depth analysis of the word “Chingar” and
how it related to México’s history, past, present and future!
Haydee was still in a bit of a funk from her mother’s
passing on and making detailed plans for a wedding wasn’t high on our list of
priorities. I was convinced I wanted to get married and, despite some who told
me it would be better to wait and, “sow my wild oats,” I went with my heart.
We looked at the calendar and decided August 31st was a good date.
It was a Saturday and it was an absolutely gorgeous time of the year in Colorado.
In mid August I completed my studies at Thunderbird. My
folks and Maya came for the graduation. We had a wonderful time. I had a
tremendous sense of accomplishment and could feel the sense of pride which
emanated from my mother and father. While they were in the middle of a very
difficult time together, they kept a stiff upper lip and joined me as I made my
debut into the world.
My mom and dad gave me a spectacular gift for my graduation.
In an envelope, I was given the title to a 1960 Mercedes 190SL. I loved the
car! It was baby blue and had a hard top which came off and a soft top which,
while it needed some mending, kept the larger rain drops off your head. The
car needed some work though it was in decent running condition. I have always
enjoyed fiddling around fixing things and so it was no big deal for me to start
taking things apart to try and fix the car. The operative word here is TRY,
since many times I was ineffective in my endeavors as a Mercedes car mechanic!
Meanwhile, Haydee and I found a very nice card to
announce our wedding. They had pretty purple flowers and we bought a bunch of
them. We sat down, made a list and began sending “announcements” to our wedding.
While I don’t recall exactly what they said, it went something like this:
“We are happy to announce our wedding in Boulder, Colorado on August 31st, 1985.”
No exact place, no details, just a city and a date. We
went to our old landlord Hal’s place which was called Rockazona outside of Phoenix on NW Grand Avenue in Peoria. We found some gold rings which had gold chains
etched into the surface and knew we had found what we wanted. We chose three
small diamonds to insert into Haydee’s ring and walked out of there with two
great rings which set us back $251.22.
We started saying our goodbyes and on our last night in Arizona, our friends from La Parrilla Suiza gave us a bang up, rockin’ party! The house
had a pool and we all ended up getting nice and wet before the night was over.
We packed up headed out of Arizona via Albuquerque on our way to a new life
together.
We pulled into Denver, Colorado, to my Cousin Ivan’s
house on Wednesday, August 28th which just so happened to be Haydee’s birthday.
On Thursday the 29th we started getting serious about our wedding. Up to that
point about all we had was a Justice of the Peace lined up, some verbal
agreements with a flower shop and a strong desire to have the time of our
lives!
We headed to Boulder in search of a place to get
married. I had fantasized about getting married on a rock way out in the
wilderness somewhere with a stream running nearby. As we wandered around for a
bit in Boulder, we headed for the hills at the base of the majestic Flatirons.
We started driving around Chautauqua Park and came upon a park in the middle of
several buildings. We got out and lo and behold there was the rock about which
I had been dreaming! It was at one end of the park and had a great view of the
Flatirons. A US flag situated in the middle of the park also waved proudly in
the breeze. I looked at Haydee and she at me. We knew we had found “the”
place. It was perfect and just what we were looking for.
We continued running around, renting tuxes, ordering
flowers, taking blood tests, sauntering into the courthouse for our license and
going a million miles a minute to prepare. In the meantime, people started
calling Ivan’s house, which was the only way they knew how to get in touch with
us. This was, of course, well before cell phones sidled up to everyone’s hip to
provide instant communications at the touch of few buttons with anyone in the
world. By Thursday afternoon, we had an actual place to get married! By
Thursday night and Friday people started arriving from the four corners of our
universe.
My dad pitched in and bought the liquor which consisted
of a keg of beer and champagne. He also picked up the tab for the food which
consisted of nicely arranged deli trays from King Soopers. Following is a list
of some of our expenses:
œ Wedding
Bands $ 251.22
œ Flowers $
127.05
œ Justice
of the Peace $ 75.00
œ Boulder Parks and Recreation $ 45.00
œ Lab
test $ 30.00
Haydee had a dress her mother gave to her for the event
which made the gown extra special. Haydee did make it a bit more “sexy” with a
nip here and a tuck there. I was dashing; or so I was told, in a gray tux with
tails. My groomsmen were in black tuxes and my best man, David Fishman kept
his red Ray Ban sunglasses firmly in place throughout the ceremony.
We arranged the benches in the park around the rock at
one end and all female guests were paraded down the “aisle” into their seats.
The day was spectacular. The USA flag waved against a backdrop of a deep blue
sky and the Flatirons forced their way up to the heavens to provide a perfect
backdrop for our momentous occasion. We had many more people show up than we
possibly imagined and we loved every minute!
While people often refer to the groom’s nervous nature
before the ceremony, I was on cloud nine and having the time of my life. I had
my love, I had my family and I had a rock upon which to get married. The rock
symbolized in my mind the commitment we were making to each other. Since we
hadn’t really sent out “invitations” as such and since we had no RSVP’s we were
surprised by the attendance of many of the people, never imagining they would
make the long journey to see us get married.
Among those in attendance were the following:
Mom
Dad
Maya
Ivan Catari
Deresa
Aunt Elsie
Uncle Billy
Grandma McBride
Aunt Joan
Uncle Bob
Pat Callahan
Aunt Mabel
Uncle Eben
Dale Parrish
|
David Jones
Carol Lucero
Mirna Peraza
David Fishman
Connie
Gil Juarez
Tim Tafoya
Mike
Kundrat
Mark Canavan
José
Lugo
Mike Callahan
Aunt Helen
Uncle Teen
|
Haydee drove up in our red Ford Futura which was “left
over” after an unsuccessful bout of mine buying and selling used cars at
auctions while I was in Arizona. I’m convinced I would have been much better
off keeping my Honda Accord which had done me so well over the years though it
was a learning experience!
Haydee had driven up from Denver that morning with Ivan
and Deresa. As she arrived to the park, I was already there. I had stayed the
night before with my mom, dad, Maya and a few friends in Boulder. Haydee
arrived and finished getting dressed in the car. David Jones and David Fishman
escorted my grandma and each of my aunts down the “aisle” we had left in the
grass between the benches we had placed surrounding “The Rock.” Then my mom
and I came, as well as the rest of the court. We then waited as Ivan escorted
Haydee to center stage.
Haydee bravely hopped up on “The Rock” next to me and we
began the ceremony. Judge Lee Hawk performed the services under the
magnificent blue sky which was pecked with white fluffy clouds on a late summer
morning.
Before and after the ceremony, my good friend Mark
Canavan was perched on another rock strumming his guitar. We all gathered
around as he dazzled us with his musical prowess.
Then as I snatched the garter from Haydee’s upper thigh,
the bachelors gathered for the obligatory garter toss. They all lined up and
waited patiently. That is all except for David Jones who was crouched and
ready to pounce at the first sign of fabric. Most of the guys kept their hands
by their side or clasped firmly onto their drinks. As I flicked the garter
over my head, David flew head and shoulders over the others as he snatched the
garter in victory as we all watched.
One of the most interesting facts about our wedding is
that we had about as many photographers as we had attendees! Later everyone
sent us a copy of their photos and we ended up with several angles of each
particular part of the wedding. With so many cameras we got several good takes
of each shot. Several years after the fact we put them all into an album which
still serves as an excellent memory of one of the happiest days of my life.
After the ceremony and a healthy round of photos, we all
went to a shelter at one end of the park where we had set up food and liquor on
picnic tables. We all stood around the keg and partied as we opened our
wedding gifts, many of which were from people not present in body but in
spirit!
In the afternoon we went to the Hotel Boulderado where we
had rented a room to “consummate” our marriage. After a romp and a rest, we
were ready to go again. We were all having a great old time and the keg ended
back up in our suite where the party raged on. We hit the jackpot with the
hotel as they were serving oysters at 10 cents a shot. They were bringing them
out in cookie sheets and we were putting them down as fast as they could bring
them. One of the more interesting facts of that particular evening is that
Haydee made me sleep on the couch! Perhaps it is more accurate to say I lay
down and went to sleep on the couch, though her version may vary slightly.
We stayed at my Cousin Ivan’s house for several days in Denver while we looked for a place to live. While Boulder was our first love, we figured Denver would provide more opportunity. We found a place on 759 Reed Ct. in Lakewood called Waterside Apartments in Lakewood. We paid something like $295 per month
for rent.
Haydee found a job quickly at Washington Inventory
Service and I answered an ad for a cook at Red Robbin Restaurant. While I was
very smart on paper and had a couple of degrees to show for it, in reality I
was very poor and needed to pay the bills! Though I had a few interviews at
Thunderbird and even one “fly back,” I was without a job. One of my more
memorable experiences trying to get a job while still at Thunderbird was
botching a cover letter for Procter and Gamble. In the header of the letter I
spelled the company name as “Proctor” rather than “Procter.” I’m sure those in
charge of the interview said, “If this idiot can’t even take the time to spell
the company right, he’s not worthy!” Needless to say I didn’t get that
particular interview let alone the job.
Haydee worked strange hours and was hauled off late in
the night to different stores and warehouses, often at two or three in the
morning to take inventory. I worked evenings at Red Robbin on the “cold side”
preparing salads, soups and such for a high class burger joint. Somehow my
vision of my first job out of graduate school was much different.
I had worked in enough restaurants to know I wanted to do
something different with my life. At the time, however, it was a means to an
end. In the daytime I focused on getting another job. I scoured the newspaper
ads daily and sent my resume out religiously to several companies.
One day I noticed an advertisement which read something
like this:
Wall Street Investment firm seeking motivated people to join
our team.
It was enough of an enticement to get me out the door and
to a group interview way out on Wadsworth Boulevard in Westminster, Colorado. They showed a video which depicted offices in Manhattan, New York, and talked
about the opportunities which the firm offered for account representatives to
grow with the company.
The manager, Chris Kinsky who managed the First Investors
Corporation office, interviewed me and took my resume. He told me they were
going to review the candidates and let me know their decision in several days.
I went home excited about the opportunity. Finances had always interested me
and the thought of managing investments intrigued me. I told Haydee it seemed
to be a good opportunity and truly hoped I would get called back for a second
interview.
A few days later, I received a call and was asked to go
back for a second interview. I met Guy Brazell who filled me in on additional
details regarding the opportunity and gauged my interest. I wanted to get to
work and so when they offered me the position, I eagerly accepted.
I later found out people were hired if they walked into
the office, had a heartbeat and were willing to go through an intense training
program with no pay. In the meantime, I was green and naïve so I just rolled
with the punches. After graduate school, the training was just another
obstacle to hurdle and posed no great problems. I would go to the office in
the days to study for the Series 6 securities license and in the evenings
change clothes to go work at Red Robbin.
It was a fairly tough initial commitment since the job
had no salary and was strict commission. To make matters even more
challenging, the commission for a trade placed today was paid about six weeks later.
In late November of 1985 I passed the test with flying colors and was set off into
the world to work my magic. My main dilemma was I wasn’t quite sure how I was
going to do it. I had a lot of book knowledge, knew a whole lot about making
pizzas and doing other odd jobs, though I had no idea about the business world.
The best way I have to describe the process I began is
door to door mutual fund sales. First Investor’s primary product was a fifteen
year contractual plan investing in high yielding “junk bonds.” The money
invested in the first year went about 50% to commissions and people would
commit to a certain dollar payment per month for fifteen years to achieve a
desired investment result. The plans were sold primarily as education,
retirement and savings plans.
After some initial success with some family and friends,
I was out in the cold cruel world left to fend for myself. Mondays were set
aside to work in the office setting up the week’s schedule. Until we were able
to book fourteen or fifteen appointments, we weren’t “allowed” to go home. I
can remember many Monday nights when appointments would magically start popping
into our calendars as the Monday night football kick-off time approached.
The majority of us in the office didn’t make much money
and those were pretty lean times. If it hadn’t been for Haydee working, ends
definitely would not have been met. Even with Haydee working, I recall being
short of money frequently. One month rent came due a bit quicker than our cash
flow so I went to the bank and asked for a short term loan. They showed me the
door quickly saying we had no credit and nothing as collateral for the loan.
We went to a local pawn shop and pawned some of Haydee’s jewelry to make rent.
Fortunately, we later went back to the pawn shop and recovered the jewelry.
This experience taught me the importance of having available credit which we
later acquired. Our first purchase on credit was a television we bought from
JC Penny. The television probably cost us more than twice its original amount
when interest was calculated. While I don’t recall the exact cost of the
television, we paid something like $29 a month for what seemed to be a
lifetime!
Brant Demuth was my best buddy at the time and Haydee and
I introduced him to a beautiful Colombian girl we knew by the name of Marta. I
remember one weekend all of us heading out to Steamboat Springs to check out a
road race of classic cars and also to check out a time share which had offered
us a free night of lodging in exchange for enduring their sales pitch the
following day. The weekend was a success in spite of the heavy duty sales job
they did on us trying to get us to buy a time share. For me it was actually a
great learning experience on how NOT to treat potential clients.
I drove past Sloan’s lake in Denver on my way to work at
that time and decided it would be great to live by the lake. Several days
later, I noticed a “For Rent” sign on an apartment building close to the lake.
I stopped in to check it out and found a great one bedroom apartment with a
terrific view out over the lake. To boot, the rent was less expensive than we
were already paying. I went home and told Haydee about it. We both went to
see it and knew we had found our new home. We got out of our lease with
Waterside with minor difficulties and moved into the Catalina Apartments on 17th St and Sheridan Blvd which was just inside the Lakewood city limits.
At First Investors we would often pick up the telephone
book and start dialing for dollars. It wasn’t easy. I remember setting an
appointment one Saturday at about 5:00 PM. It was clear on the other side of
the city and it took me almost an hour to get there. When I got to the house,
I could hear people talking inside though they didn’t open the door. I stood
outside knocking on the door and ringing the door bell for about 10 to 15
minutes. When I realized they weren’t going to answer the door, I got back in
my car and headed home tail between my legs. I was fuming! While it was a
tough lesson to learn at the time, it taught me the importance of confirming
and re-confirming every appointment even if it meant the person canceled at the
last minute.
While I didn’t particularly like the job, I did form a
couple of excellent relationships. One was with Brant Demuth, who went through
the entire training procedure with me. Others were Guy Brazell, who was our
trainer and later became an excellent friend, colleague and eventually followed
me to Seligman several years later, as did Russ Schaffer another quality
individual.
As a direct or indirect result of my Saturday drive out
into the boondocks only to get stood up, I began looking for a new job. Money
was very tight in those days and we had to scrape and scratch to make ends
meet.
As I scanned the newspaper one day, I saw an advertisement
for a Series 6 registered investment executive who was also licensed to sell
Life, Accident and Health Insurance, which had also been part of my training at
First Investors. The advertisement mentioned sitting in a bank and talking to
customers about investment products. The job sounded perfect!
I interviewed with John Knight who would later become my
boss. He liked my credentials and I was hired to work for Pamco Securities and
Insurance in August of 1986. I was assigned to two branches of Bank Western.
Both were in the suburbs of Denver, one in South Glenn, out towards Littleton, and the other in Aurora.
I was in heaven. I had a desk, the bank sent out
referral letters daily and it was a much nicer working situation than what I
had at First Investors Corporation. One of my daily duties was reporting to
John about my activities in terms of calls, contacts and sales. While I didn’t
enjoy this one bit I realized it was an excellent way to keep me on my toes.
Up until I started with Pamco, I had never really dealt with big bucks and now
I had an excellent opportunity not only to work with lots of money but also to
make lots of money!
I will never forget my first sale at Pamco. I had gone
over the products with John and the paperwork which needed to be filled out to
establish an account. Nevertheless, I hadn’t actually opened an account. I
was in the Bank Western in Aurora and I had a customer who had a CD renewing
for $50,000. A bank employee by the name of Carla Maddox, who later became my
biggest source of referrals, sent the person over to me and I went through my
pitch. At the end, I believe I said something really clever like, “So, what do
you think?”
The couple in front of me looked at each other and said,
“Sure why not, let’s give it a shot.” I just about busted a gut right then and
there. I scrambled to get the paperwork and fill it all out before they
changed their minds. After they were gone, I called John and told him the good
news. This particular sale, more than any other, is the one which sticks out
in my mind as my first big sale. I didn’t have any fancy words or unique
approach, just common sense and a belief in what I was doing. While I would
later learn there was much more to sales, this was my first major learning experience
in terms of the magical world of sales.
Working at Pamco was akin to being a fox in the hen
house! We were securities salespeople disguised as bank employees. While
there were disclosures which told the people we weren’t working for the bank itself,
the people often believed since we were sitting in the bank, we must be bank
employees. As time went on this difference became more evident with larger
signs and more disclosure.
For me the difference between First Investors and Pamco
was like night and day. With Pamco, I had more credibility and people didn’t
look at me as a just another “salesperson.” One of my biggest challenges at
First Investors was to be anything but a “salesperson” though I felt exactly
like a tricky used car salesman trying to pass something over onto my clients.
Later I discovered the value of a being a good
salesperson, though from the beginning of my career at Pamco, I fancied myself
as some type of a fancy “Wall Street” executive. My self confidence increased,
I procured many new clients and most importantly, for the first time in my
career, I started making real money. While I was still paid 100% on commission,
the lag time between sales and payment dropped from about six weeks with First
Investors to about a month with Pamco.
Little by little I began figuring out what I was doing.
While John Knight wasn’t my favorite guy in the world to work for in the
beginning, I learned to trust his advice and value his opinion. I suppose I
was and continue to be somewhat of a rebel against authority. My relationship
with my bosses at First Investors and Pamco was iffy at best. I now think it
was just my way of establishing my independence and creating my own future
though I now realize there are many things I could have done better if I had
been more willing to listen.
A competitive environment prevailed within Pamco and we
were constantly measured and compared to our peers both in Colorado and in the
nation. Initially, this constant scrutiny annoyed me. In time, I learned to
play the game and enjoy the hunt. As a result of the competitive spirit, I
became fast friends with many of the other Investment Executives. Since we
were pretty much on our own when we were in the branches, we established an
informal telephone support network which helped out tremendously.
One of my best friends was John Whittington. While he
didn’t have a great attitude at the time, he was older and had more
experience. I learned a lot from him and we spent a lot of time together.
One trip we took with John and his girlfriend was to the
mountains to go rafting over the 4th of July. We sold our red Ford Futura and
purchased a white 4X4 Jeep CJ-7. We went four wheeling up into the mountains a
few hours away from Denver and camped out. The following morning we headed
down to the place which organized the rafting trip. They instructed us on what
to do and we were off. The experience is one of the most exhilarating I’ve
ever had. John’s girlfriend fell out of the boat at one point and floated to
shore to sit out the rest of the ride. I also fell out during the rocking and
the rolling and Haydee put out her arm and with surprising strength yanked me
back into the raft! She had put a lot of time and energy into me and wasn’t
about to lose me to a river in the middle of the mountains!
There were some pictures which were taken by the rafting
company. To this day Haydee has never let me live down the fact that I never
went to pick up the pictures. Fortunately, I did find a picture in the newspaper
which I cut out of a group rafting on the same 4th of July. I put it in our
photo album and tell everyone it was us doing my best to mitigate the fact I
never went to get our picture.
Living in Catalina Apartments was a blast. We met and
became fast friends with Rick Schuettpelz and his future wife Jeannie. Rick
worked with the schools as a custodian and Jeannie had some government type of
job. Rick and I really hit it off together, while Haydee and Jeannie also
established common ground.
In the summer Rick often invited us up to his cabin where
we would ride motorcycles and go fishing. On one particular outing we were
catching fish like crazy. While I forget the actual number of fish we caught,
it was over 50. We would pretty much throw the line in the water, reel it in
and catch a fish. It was amazing and we had a blast.
In the fall, weekends consisted of getting together,
partying and preparing for the Denver Bronco games on Sunday. For a few of the
games, we hopped on bikes and went down to Mile High Stadium which was a
stone’s throw away. Towards the end of the third quarter, they would
frequently open the doors and we would go wander around.
In this, my first full year of work with Pamco, I
qualified for the sales trip in December. We went to The Bahamas and I was in heaven. The owners of Pamco were John Phillip Sousa II, grandson of the great
musician, and Alan Blank. I found out it was well worth the effort to go to
the sales trips! Those guys knew how to throw a party! Everything was first
class with lots of nice little surprises. Every evening when we got back to
the hotel room there was something special waiting for us. Sometimes it was
something useful for the next day like a t-shirt, sun tan lotion and a camera
for a sports outing. Sometimes it was cash. The last night it was
traditionally a piece of nice Baccarat crystal.
For some reason in 1988 things didn’t quite click on
production front. While I felt like I knew what I was doing, I lacked
consistency. I hadn’t quite figured out the secret to getting things to rock
on an ongoing basis. I did well enough though to keep from getting canned in a
very cutthroat business. The rules of the game were very clear and if you
couldn’t cut the mustard, you were out the door in a heartbeat. I saw many
people come and go in my first two years there as I would continue to see
throughout my career in financial services.
Perhaps the toughest thing for people to adjust to was
the variable pay. For me, it was really all I ever knew, so I didn’t have to
adjust! I learned to love the fact I was in charge of my own destiny. There
was no one telling me how much money I could or couldn’t make. While being
master and commander of my own fate was sometimes scary, it has always been
particularly appealing to me.
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I was in South Glenn a
reserved and relatively quiet branch. There was an older clientele and one
lady by the name of Angie was the ruler of the roost. Many of the older
clients came in and would speak only to her. My business was influenced
greatly by number of referrals I received from the bank employees. While
anybody in the bank could give me referrals, it was mainly the accounts ladies
who were best positioned to send folks my way.
For some reason Angie was never terribly convinced about
Pamco and, as a result, never sent many people over to me. The bank put some
pressure on the employees to send clients my way because it was very profitable
for the bank. At the same time, there were several managers who were never
terribly enthusiastic about the idea of money leaving the bank to some
investment vehicle provided by a third party. While it made economic sense,
they protected their asset base and didn’t want to see it dwindled away.
The Branch Manager in South Glenn supported me in my
presence. In actuality she floundered in her support. She sent a dual message
which indicated it was all right to support me, though not too much! While I
had several allies in South Glenn, including one great lady named Sue, there
were others who obstructed my progress.
Tuesdays and Thursdays I headed out to Aurora. This
branch, unlike South Glenn, was a very busy, noisy branch. There was a lot of
activity. While their clientele was diverse in age, the older ones were
typically those with the bucks. Though I never did an average age study for my
clients, I am pretty sure it was well over 70. Typically, I had appointments
booked from opening to close. In Aurora my support system was much better.
The two people who were most helpful to me in Aurora were Charlene Albert and Carla Maddox. Charlene, the receptionist, sat in front of
me and channeled people to me every chance she got! If I was with someone, she
would call me and politely let me know there was someone there to see me and
ask if I could see them. I often excused myself briefly from the appointment I
was with and went to talk to the people at Charlene’s desk. I would ask them
if they could wait or if they preferred to set an appointment. When Charlene
saw me do it a few times, she got the idea and started setting my appointments
for me!
Carla Maddox was a referral machine and typically
prepared customers with just the right approach. The bank employees received a
bonus for customers who ended up investing with Pamco so they had a strong
incentive to do so. I later instituted a program of my own which rewarded all
referrals regardless of whether they invested or not. This was one of my
proudest achievements as it catapulted me into the person within my company who
generated the most referrals nationwide for an extended period of time!
Things were so good in Aurora that I left my appointment
book there and encouraged the employees to book my appointments for me. I was
in constant contact with Charlene and would work Aurora by remote on Mondays,
Wednesdays, and Fridays when I was at South Glenn.
The branch manager in Aurora, whose name was Norris Cowen,
was a great guy. He was of medium build, had puffed out a bit and had a ready
smile. Whenever he said goodbye to someone, he always said, “Have fun!” To
this day it is one of my favorite things to say and it came originally from
him. He played the political game quite well and supported me when he saw it
was necessary. In addition, and most important as far as I was concerned, he
never did or said things behind my back to undermine my efforts. While he
didn’t agree with everything I did, he was always upfront and honest in words
and actions.
I told my boss John I thought it would be wiser to spend
more time in Aurora even though South Glenn had a bigger asset base. He didn’t
agree and, in a way, my couple of busy days at Aurora soon seemed to generate a
life of its own. It is often said, and I experienced it during this time of my
life, the busier you are, the more activity comes your way.
Without exception, the most exciting event of 1988 was
Alicia’s birth. Haydee had been pregnant two times prior to Alicia and had
miscarried early in both pregnancies. We went to an expert and he said there
were some cysts of some sort which could hinder proper development during the
gestation cycle. He did a laparoscopy and told us to keep trying. I
particularly liked this advice!
About the time we found out Haydee was pregnant with
Alicia, we felt this pregnancy would go to term so we moved within the same
house to the other side of the duplex. Our address became 1720 Lowell Blvd.
We now had an additional bedroom as well as a large downstairs with another
bathroom, a kitchen area and huge living space.
Haydee did her best to take it easy during her
pregnancy. She was mellow when the doctor told her to be mellow, active when
he told her to be active and ate voraciously throughout. We awoke early on
Friday, September 9 and Haydee was in pain. Her water broke and we were off to
the hospital. Things seemed to move along nicely at first, then things slowed
down and we played the waiting game. Haydee, who has never been terribly good
with pain, was a trooper throughout. Luis Enrique Montes de Oca, Haydee’s
brother, was with us as were my mom, dad and Maya.
Later in the evening the doctors started to induce labor
and things began progressing once again. We were in St. Joseph’s hospital and
our insurance with Kaiser Permanente had excellent maternity coverage.
Initially, we were in a very nice birthing room. If you were taken straight
there, you wouldn’t even imagine it was in a hospital. While the bed was
designed specifically for birthing, the rest of the room could well have been a
room in anyone’s house. There were pictures, a sofa and things were very
comfortable.
Somewhere around 8:00 PM there was some kind of problem.
The nurses and the doctors started rushing around and I freaked out. They
mumbled something about an infection and immediately prepared Haydee to go to a
different room. I insisted on going, though they weren’t too keen on the
idea. I remember going into a very sophisticated room with all kinds of
apparatus. It appeared to be some sort of surgery room. I watched in awe as
everyone ran around.
Haydee was, I am sure, even more scared than I, though
she did very well. Soon they had Haydee pushing with all her might. The
doctor whipped out some forceps and began yanking Alicia out. The whole thing
seemed pretty rough to me, though I wasn’t about to say anything to irritate
them! Alicia Marie McBride was born at 9:56 PM and weighed 8 pounds, 2
ounces. She was named after Haydee’s mother Alicia and after my mother whose
name is Marie Elizabeth, though everybody calls her Betty.
I was in awe with the process. Because Haydee was “RH
negative” the nurses and doctors were hurriedly going every which way which
made sense at the time, though the reason now escapes me. I thought something
was terribly wrong when I saw Alicia for the first time. She was kind of
purple and her head looked like a football. I was afraid to even ask because
she looked sort of deformed to me. Later I whispered to one of the nurses and
asked if she was all right. The nurse looked at me and assured me she was
perfect.
I stayed at the hospital until about midnight and then
went home. I remember getting to our home and feeling incredible. It was one
of the most intense and pleasurable experiences of my life. To think I was
partly responsible for bringing this wonderful new little life into this world
was beyond words. I felt a unique mixture of pride and happiness along with a
tremendous amount of fear and responsibility. It is a moment I will never
forget as long as I live!
Towards the end of 1988 we found a house on the other
side of the lake on 1722 Lowell Blvd. It was a one bedroom duplex in a house
one block off the lake. While we liked the apartment at Catalina, we were
anxious to have more room and a yard. In addition we had a garage where I
could put all my stuff. I have always been a great accumulator of stuff.
After all, you never know when you might need it! I now realize while many
women suffer from PMS, I suffer from TMS which stands for “Too Much……..Stuff!”
Things started to click with my production at work. I
truly believe the added responsibility of a baby in the house had a positive
influence on my level of activity and success. While it was tight to the end,
I qualified to go on my second sales trip in December of 1989. It was a trip
which literally changed my life and my outlook forever.
While I had qualified for my second sales trip with
Pamco, I was still pretty much an “average” Investment Representative. Even though
I was increasing my client base and my income, I still wasn’t breaking any
records.
We went to Los Angeles first where we had a business
meeting and then were off to Hawaii for the recreational part of the trip. In Los Angeles I met and heard Joel Weldon for the first time. He told us a story about sales
and service, which involved Willy Cooley, a black toothless taxi driver from Memphis, Tennessee. Until hearing about Willy, I thought being a salesperson was somehow
evil. I never imagined myself to be in sales, rather in investments as a
financial executive. I learned we are, in fact, all sales people to some
extent. In addition, excellent salespeople make a tremendously positive
difference to all. I attribute this one lesson, along with Joel’s enthusiasm,
to the tremendous change in my attitude and my income which followed.
Before I could put into practice all I had learned, we
went to Hawaii. John Sousa and Alan Blank were up to their usual tricks and it
was wonderful. We went to the big island to a fairly new resort, which was so
big there were trains to take you from place to place. There was a little
something for everybody from swimming with the dolphins to a romp on the
beach.
The event which I remember more vividly was the day we
had the Pamco Olympics. Spouses were divided and teams were arranged. There
were all kinds of games on the beach. Each team made a cheer and we generally
had a great time. The highlight of the day was a body painting contest. Each
of the groups chose one member of the team for some body painting. Haydee was
chosen from her group and she was painted from head to toe. The most dominant
part of the artwork on her body was the baby which was painted on her now
already quite large stomach. It was the first image we had of Chanty who was
in the oven!
I was off like a rocket! After learning about Willy
Cooley and the value of a great sales person, my work took on an entirely new
meaning. My business was no longer offering investments, rather involved a
profound commitment to help people reach their dreams and financial
objectives.
My number of clients and production skyrocketed. From
that point on I was consistently in the top 10% of producers in the country.
I developed healthy competition with several people in the company both in Colorado and throughout the country. Among my most noble competitors was Sybil Praski who
worked out of the Cherry Creek Branch in Denver and “Kippy” Gibeau who worked
out of Colorado Springs.
My first published article I wrote as a “Top Gun,” one of
the companies’ top producers.
A Fountain of Business
By Rob McBride
In our business there are certain things over which we have a
great deal of control and other things over which we have little control. We
need to let the things that we can’t control take care of themselves while
‘taking the bull by the horns’ with those things that we can control. One of
the things that we can all control is our existing customers. If it is a new
institution, then the customer base is getting started; if the institution has
been around for some time, then it is very likely that a large customer base
already exists. By cultivating and nurturing our existing customers, we can
guarantee that we always have a source of business.
One of the best wars I have found of building on my existing
customer base is by conducting customer reviews. While many different
approaches can be used, the following is one that has worked for me. I
subscribe to the A to Z systematic approach when it comes to contacting the customers.
Whether they have a $100,000 annuity or a $2,000 IRA, I call them all to invite
them in for a review. I emphasize that it is extremely important to update
their file and review their current situation. Once the customer is in the
branch, I treat the appointment as I would any other sales appointment. I go
through a confidential that I have already prepared with updates of their
current PAMCO investments. When the confidential is completed, I make
recommendations and expect a sale.
Often times there is nothing that can or should be changed at
the time of review. Plant the seed for future business and show them that you
truly care about them. People’s situations change. They inherit money, receive
lump sum distributions, receive insurance settlements, have grandchildren, sell
their homes, etc. If these people think of us first, we have an excellent shot
at investing those dollars.
Granted there are those people who will not want to come in
or who will come in just to give us grief. The vast majority, however, will
appreciate the fact that you care enough about them to take time to update
their situation. Although there are times when it seems like talking to these
people is a waste of time, the payoff will always be forthcoming either through
personal referrals or additional business. I know this to be true because
currently two-thirds of my business comes from existing customers.
I later changed branches to Lakeside where I worked from
Monday to Friday and on Saturdays, when necessary. Lakeside had about $125
million in assets and was one of the larger and more desired branches in the Denver Metro area. The manager was a young go-getter by the name of Curtis Varnold. He
and I hit it off immediately and established an excellent working relationship.
He truly saw the value of our service both for the bank and for the
customers.
The highlight of 1990 was without a doubt the birth of
little Chanty. She had already had her debut in Hawaii painted on Haydee’s
stomach as I mentioned. Since we already had Alicia, we were a little more
experienced in the whole parenting thing which didn’t in the least bit take
away from the excitement of the new bundle of joy coming into our life.
On the morning of Thursday, March 8, 1990, Haydee began
experiencing pain. She called the doctor who asked her a few questions and
told us it would be a good idea to go in. We took our sweet time getting
ready. We left Alicia at the babysitter’s and went to St Anthony’s Hospital to
check in. As we were waiting to register, one of the nurses came and talked to
Haydee. The nurse was very experienced and could tell Haydee was getting ready
to deliver. Haydee was wheeled away and I was left to take care of the
paperwork.
When I finished the paperwork, I headed for the room and
Haydee was just about ready to pop. Within half an hour at 2:27 PM our little
Chanty was born. She weighed 7 pounds and 11 ounces. Haydee and I were both
ecstatic and particularly happy we didn’t go through the marathon Alicia had
put us through.
When Chanty was born we named her María Chantalle
McBride. She is blessed with two names, which Haydee and I both liked though
María was more my doing than hers. Since seeing the movie “West Side Story”
many years before, I had always liked the name María. Our gringo pronunciation
was more like “Mareeya” than the standard María. The name Chantalle came from
an existing customer I had who came into the bank one day to open a custodial
account for his daughter Chantalle. I told Haydee about the name and she loved
it. While I liked the name María as her first name, Haydee told me how many
people have María as a first name in Latin America in general and in Venezuela specifically. We asked if we could change the name, and successfully changed
Maria Chantalle to Chantalle María.
Initially, I felt Chanty was much more adventurous than
Alicia. She seemed to have no fear. I attributed this to her older sister
Alicia who is almost to the day 18 months older. We also got “Sweetie,” a
black Labrador puppy from my cousin Stuart. At first Chanty had no fear of
Sweetie, though that changed. In time, as happens with many of us as we get
older, she became more cautious though initially she was much more
adventuresome and prone to bumps and bruises.
One event I recall quite clearly several months after we
had brought Sweetie home. I had been training her to “heel” and stay beside me
as we walked. I would take her to Sloan’s lake every morning about 6:00 AM to
do her deed and let her fetch sticks from the lake. She loved the water and
would go bounding into the lake to fetch whatever I would throw.
I was very happy and proud at how quickly she learned. I
began to take her out without her leash and one particular morning disaster
struck. She saw a dog across the street and in the precise instant I said,
“No, Sweetie!” she took off across the street as a pickup truck was crossing.
Sweetie hit the side of the truck and then lay motionless in the street. The
owner of the truck stopped and felt terrible. He asked if he could help and he
took me to our house about a block away.
As I walked into our house with Sweetie in my arms, tears
were flowing down my cheeks. Haydee saw Sweetie and immediately suggested we
take her to the veterinarian. The vet said she was in shock and suggested we
leave her there for observation. We left her overnight and when we picked her
up the next day, she still wasn’t quite herself. While she shook off the
cobwebs in time, we were never certain if the impact shook a few screws loose
which never quite got back into place. Needless to say, I kept her on a leash
afterwards on our walks regardless of how well she behaved.
With my new outlook on my job as a salesperson and the
benefit I was providing to each and every one of my customers, making the
annual trip with my company was no longer a huge deal. In 1990 I made the cut
with no problem whatsoever. We had a meeting in Doral Beach in Miami. Joel was with us once again and expertly explained to us how to work with different
personality types. We later met up with our spouses to go to The Bahamas for another bang up time with John Sousa and Alan Blank. Each of the trips seemed
to get better and better. On this particular trip, I recall returning to the
hotel to find an envelope with cold hard cash and a note to enjoy a morning of
shopping the next day.
About the same time I moved to the Lakeside branch, Pamco
Securities and Insurance was purchased and became Liberty Financial Services.
While the basic structure of the business was the same, we inherited much
larger disclosure signs indicating we were not part of the bank and a series of
additional paperwork which was a nuisance in the beginning though extremely
beneficial in the long run.
Previously our word was our honor and while we gave
prospectuses for the investments we sold and were “required” to disclose
commissions and fees, we had nothing in writing to indicate exactly what
customers were getting into. One of the documents we were now required to have
our customers sign spelled out in minute detail exactly what the buyer was
getting into and the costs. Initially I imagined no one would invest after
reading the strong explicit language indicating we were not part of the bank
and also specifying in minute detail the fees and commissions.
To the contrary of my initial belief regarding clients’
reticence to invest, my sales and my career skyrocketed! I consistently earned
the “Top Gun” awards for sales achievement and received promotions. While
Pamco had been excellent at giving recognition and rewards, the tradition
continued with Liberty Financial. I earned many promotions and plaques which
make good fodder for an ego wall!
I will win! Why?
Because I have faith, courage and enthusiasm!
While there were always challenges in terms of opening
new accounts and finding new customers, things seemed to come much easier now.
I had a deep underlying drive and motivation to help my customers in any way I
could. This, in turn, created a backdrop for my income to continue to increase
year after year.
Why should I, “Bring a Little Sunshine into everyone’s
Lives?”
œ Attitude
is contagious
œ Being
positive is a lot more fun than being negative
œ You
get more out of life if you are the kind of person people want to be around
œ It’s
much nicer to see a smile on a person’s face than a frown
œ I feel
much better about myself when people are happy and positive around me
œ It is
a great feeling to make a positive difference in other people’s lives
œ Living
successfully is easier than living as a failure
œ It
brings out the best in people
œ You
catch more flies with honey
Inventory of Strength’s and Skills:
œ I have
a good job
œ I have
an excellent education
œ I am
respected by my peers
œ I have
a wonderful family
œ I feel
I am attractive
œ I have
a great outlook on life
œ I have
tremendous earning potential
œ I have
at least two friends I feel I could count on in any situation
œ My
family is loving and caring
œ Despite
some setbacks, I have been able to set aside some funds
œ I am
healthy
œ I set
goals and strive to achieve them
œ I
don’t want to be ordinary; i.e. I want to be in the top 5% in everything I do
œ I have
faith
œ I have
courage
œ I have
enthusiasm
What kind of person to I need to be to achieve my goals?
œ I have
to have a great attitude
œ I need
to build up lots of “failures”
œ I have
to be willing to go the extra mile
œ I need
to continue learning and growing for as long as I live
œ I need
to learn to be more tolerant of people who don’t have the aspirations I have
œ I need
to constantly be looking for new opportunities
œ I need
to squeeze every ounce out of life
œ I need
to have positive self-expectancy
œ I need
to enrich others so they in turn can enrich me
œ I need
to look at long-term objectives so as to conquer intermediate hurdles which
will occur
œ I have
to be likable
œ I need
to project the image I will be successful regardless of what happens to me
œ I need
to solicit and allow Haydee to help me in the realization of my goals and
aspirations
œ I need
to be a winner
Model these People:
œ Ross
Perot: Wealthy, powerful, strong with a deep sense of what is right and wrong
œ Martin
Luther King: Fought for right vs. wrong, learned to accept failure as a
natural part of success
œ John
F. Kennedy: Strong desire to succeed; unwavering self confidence; personable,
well liked and respected
œ Sybil
Praski: Outstanding sales success, willingness to work and do what needs to be
done
œ Richard
Ducate: Financially successful, sense of humor, filled with vitality
Motivational chant:
We are the Top Guns, mighty, mighty Top Guns
Everywhere we go people wanna know
Who we are…
Once again as December rolled around, I had qualified for
the annual trip. This year we were off for a spectacular trip to Mazatlán.
Joel made the trip with us and talked to us about “Coyote thinking.” It was a
seminar based on adapting to change and working smarter, not harder.
Haydee couldn’t make the trip so my sister Maya went with
me and we had a blast! The night I remember the most was a costume party. We
were given a few articles of clothing and accessories to use when we got to our
rooms and improvised the rest of our costumes. When we got to the party, we
were each given a small shot type glass to hang around our neck and each table
had a bottle of Cuervo 1800 tequila. As we walked around from table to table
we did shots of tequila. Needless to say, it was a wild night!
I began to get restless with the same old routine day
after day. The same types of clients were asking the same questions day after
day. My friend Steve McClinden came along and introduced me to a young dynamic
group of people within Amway called Network 21. Among the people I met in our
“upline” were Bob and Lori Taplin. It was a motivated group of individuals and
their drive and energy was contagious. I began going to meetings and becoming
more involved in their activities. Haydee never was as excited as I was about
Amway and I believe this was in part because it took me away in the evenings to
meetings all around Denver.
My interest in the organization and Network 21 was based
on their adherence to the same type of principles which Joel Weldon had talked
about during the previous three conventions I had attended with Pamco and Liberty Financial. They listened constantly to cassette tapes which they received weekly
as well as reading books which came monthly. The audio and library program
espoused the benefits of personal growth and development. Contrary to a
popular belief by many of Amway being a get rich quick scheme, they advocated
nothing of the sort. Their belief was to be successful in the organization,
you had to work hard. In addition, while success was possible, it was
definitely not destined for the weak or the timid.
I convinced Haydee to come with me to an “open” event in Palm Springs for Network 21. While she wasn’t really interested in attending the event, it
was a great chance for her to hook up with her long time friend Mirna Peraza.
They met and did a lot of catching up. In the meantime, I attended the
meetings, which were full of energy and excitement. After going to the event,
I was pumped up and ready to rock!
“There isn’t anything or anybody who can keep my family and
me from being successful. We will do whatever it takes as long as it is honest
and legal to make a fabulous life for ourselves.
“My resolve is fixed, my desire is great and there is no
stopping me from realizing the goals I have set for myself.
“We will be successful and we will be diamonds in life. Our
faith is strong and we have direction which will lead us to our destination.”
Meanwhile back at the ranch, my business with Liberty Financial was booming. I was extremely busy and had appointments typically from
the moment I arrived in the morning until closing time. Some of the customers
I recall the most were: Wilma Demko, Art Krebsbach, Dick Ducate and Kay
Climer. They would come into the bank often and always look for the
opportunity to sit down and talk about their investments or just shoot the
breeze over a cup of coffee. The environment in the bank was very easy,
relaxed and conducive to forming strong bonds with clients.
I am convinced the busier we are, the more we get done.
This was certainly the case for me in 1992. I had what seemed to be a million
things going on and was getting it all done. In addition to having my biggest
year in production and working the Amway business, we also were in the midst of
a move to Venezuela in the heat of the summer of 1992.
While there were several reasons we decided to move, I
believe everything I had done previously prepared me for what was to come. My
interest in Latin America and knowledge of Spanish led me to marry my Latin
American Princess while my work as a Financial Consultant and the experience I
had gained enabled me to launch into this new adventure.
All my resolve and education in International Business
would be put to the ultimate test. My dad came to Denver and we talked long
into the night. He left the next morning and I found this note:
Robbie,
You are alive! You are really alive. I am more confident
than ever that this is truly the first day of the rest of your life. The best
is certain to come. You are all together. You are a great father and husband
with the wisdom and patience to handle whatever comes your way.
I am very proud of you and you know that your mother is as
well. My granddaughters are as precious as they can be. My visit with you,
Haydee, Alicia and Chantalle was as positive as could be. We shall be together
forever.
Love all of you,
Daddy
Moving to Venezuela, perhaps more than other event, was
instrumental in developing my theory about bouncing back like a rubber ball.
While initially I believed it was my experience which was most important to
give credibility to my thoughts and ideas I share with people in so many ways,
I now realize it is not my experience which is important rather each individual’s
experience which creates understanding and significance.
In late July, 1992 we packed Haydee and the girls and
they were off to Venezuela. There were still several things to take care of so
I stayed behind to pick up the pieces. We had previously gone through the
exercise of what goes and what stays. I have learned regardless of the amount
of preparation, when the movers actually come, it is always a harrowing
experience. They started taking everything! They even wrapped up an ashtray
with its contents as is, which we discovered when we unpacked several weeks
later.
Haydee’s Cousin Ivan helped me through the packing ordeal
and accompanied me in my final days as a resident of the USA as did my father. I hopped in my car and was off to Albuquerque to leave a few belongings and
say “Hasta Lou Way Go” to my family.
With the die cast and everything in order, I prepared for
what I thought might be my final farewell to the USA as a place of permanent
residence. The night before I left, I took a walk around the lakes of the golf
course behind my mom’s house in Rio Rancho and reflected on what had been and
what was to come. In a flood of emotions, I made a solemn oath to myself that
my life would be significant in some way. While I wasn’t sure how it would
happen or what the circumstances would be which would launch me into the
success I so strongly desired, I was convinced this moment was an important
turning point in my life.
I was 30 years of age and while I had accomplished what I
considered to be great things, I truly felt what was to come would be more
meaningful and significant than anything I could possibly imagine.
The toughest part of leaving was saying goodbye to my
family. While I had already lived away from home for 12 years, knowing I could
hop in my car and be in Albuquerque in several hours was always a comfort. The
support my mom and dad had given me throughout my life was unconditional and
unwavering. In good and in bad they were always there to offer a helping
hand. Realizing I would now be in a foreign country thousands of miles away
was a tough pill to swallow.
I arrived in Venezuela on 27th of August just in time for
Haydee’s birthday on the 28th. I immediately felt the warmth and unconditional
love which Haydee’s family had for me and my family. Haydee’s brother Luis
Enrique, also known as Chichito, and his wife Ysvelia took us into their home
as we scrambled to get our feet under us. All who have made a move know of the
stress it creates and those who have moved internationally know of the added
challenges. They were there to help us every step of the way.
I found myself at age 30 with my wife and my two daughters,
Chantalle and Alicia who were two and three years old respectively. We were in
a strange land where everything was new and different including the money, the
banks, the language, the streets, the news, the food and, in short, an entire
new life.
I recall my first major challenge as a resident in Venezuela was to buy a car. The exchange rate was approximately 70 Bolívares to the dollar
and I had earmarked about $3,000 for transportation and was anxious to get a
vehicle.
I had just recently sold a black 1968 Mustang in Colorado and was convinced I wanted something similar. I remember Chichito telling me,
“Rob, this isn’t the United States. You shouldn’t buy a used car and
especially not one so old!” I thanked him for his advice and proceeded to do
what I wanted to do anyway.
I began looking specifically for Mustangs and located one
in the approximate price range I wanted. I went to see a red 1969 Mustang with
a three speed transmission. While it was dusk and I couldn’t see the car too
well, I could tell it had new paint and a new interior. In addition, when I
took it for a test ride, I felt the power roar from under the hood as I put it
into gear and took off. I negotiated a bit on price and we arranged to go to
the Notary to sign and make the transfer.
I recall the owner wanted cash for the transaction and
wasn’t willing to accept a check. Since once you sign over the car, you no
longer have a legal right to the car, he wanted to protect against any
problems. The request seemed reasonable so I agreed. The next day I remember
going to the bank to get a cash advance from one of my credit cards. The
transaction took quite a while to complete and after waiting for a long time,
the cashier finally called me to get the money. It was a huge stack of cash
and I remember being very nervous walking around with all that money!
We went to the Notary and purchased our first vehicle in Venezuela. I was in love with my hot rod. It had far more power than even my other
Mustang which had an automatic transmission. Nevertheless, I slowly began to
realize my brother-in-law was right about not buying a used car. While it
looked great, it had a lot of quirks and, in particular, the electrical system
was a mess. The previous owner, I believe, bought the car, cleaned it up, put
some money into paint and upholstery and resold it I’m sure for a nice profit.
I remember zooming around in my Mustang. One morning as
I was zooming out of Chichito’s parking garage, I zoomed right up against a
concrete pillar when I miscalculated the distance. In spite of some problems
with the car, and the belief I was taken for somewhat of a ride on the purchase,
I did love the car’s power!
Now that I had transportation it was time to get busy
getting a job. While I was in Colorado, I had made several contacts to try and
set up work, all to no avail. It was difficult to go to a company and say, “I
would like to work for you and, by the way, could you send me to Venezuela?” So armed with an IBM laptop computer and printer my mom gave me, I began my
search.
One of my options in terms of work was Amway though I
soon found out Amway was not yet in Venezuela. I was doing some soul searching
as far as what I wanted to do because in spite of my steadily increasing
income, my work as an Investment Executive with Liberty Financial was becoming
somewhat monotonous. I felt myself saying the same exact words day after day
to the exact same type of client in a never ending quest to sell my products.
I took the opportunity to talk to many different types of
companies when I arrived in Venezuela though the one with the most promise was
Merrill Lynch. I found an alumnus by the name of Paolo Facci who studied at
Thunderbird at the same time as I, though we didn’t know each other in school.
I called him and we agreed to meet at a restaurant call “L’Attico” in Altamira. He was nice guy, about my age, and told me he would be happy to talk to the
office manager Javier Manrique about me.
I followed up with Javier and we arranged to meet on
October 8, 1992. One of the things I obtained a lot of while working with
Pamco and Liberty Financial was self confidence. I basically told Javier he
was crazy if he didn’t hire me! While I may have come off a bit cocky in the
interview, whatever I said worked because he offered me the job. He told me,
“Rob you have one big advantage and one big disadvantage. The advantage is
that you are a gringo and nobody knows who you are. The disadvantage is that
you are a gringo and nobody knows who you are.”
He told me initially I would be on a draw of $1,500 per
month against future commissions which, while way below what I was making with
Liberty, was the first time in my professional career I earned and was paid any
money for anything except for making a sale. Even though it was to be paid
back with future production, it was nice to have some cash flow while we were
getting our legs under us in Venezuela.
Living in Caracas was a huge shock for me. I had lived
in the Southwestern United States for my entire life and while Denver and Phoenix, the two biggest cities I lived in, were fairly large, Caracas was completely
different. Caracas is situated at about 3,000 feet above sea level in a valley
and takes up about the same amount of physical space as Albuquerque. Different
is its density with lots of high rise buildings. Urban planning was virtually
non-existent and, as a result, traffic is terrible because there are frequently
only one or two options to get to certain areas of town.
In the meantime, Haydee and I were on the lookout for schools.
Together we went to and were rejected for a lack of space from Washington and
Jefferson, two well-known bilingual schools. We went to the Colegio
Internacional de Caracas where they did have space. We rejected that offer
because the tuition was very steep and we didn’t like the area of town where it
was located. After a lot of phone calls and searching we found a fairly new
school by the name of Instituto Andes. It was in a very nice neighborhood
called Los Naranjos del Cafetal.
I didn’t realize initially, though found out quickly, Instituto
Andes was a Catholic Girls School. This certainly was not high on my list in
terms of educational institutions. Nevertheless, as we continued to find it
virtually impossible to get into other schools because of a lack of space, it
became our best option. We went with Instituto Andes for our girls’ education
which, in retrospect, was an excellent decision!
Many people had told us it would be wise to find a house
or apartment close to school so we started looking in Los Naranjos for a place
to live. While I had lived in houses for almost all my life, the great
majority of people in Caracas live in apartments. While we looked for both
apartments and houses, we eventually found an apartment we really liked on the
fourth floor of a building called Pacarima on La Avenida Principal de los
Naranjos.
The owner of the apartment was a guy by the name of
Gonzalo Cubillán. While the whole process seemed terribly complicated, compared
to what I was used to, we were eventually able to come to an agreement and
lease the apartment. The apartment building was fairly modern, had a tennis
court and some nice space for the girls to play. The apartment itself was about
1,800 square feet, had three bedrooms, a study, three bathrooms and an
additional bedroom for a maid. The part I liked best was a small garden and
terrace which had a nice view out towards Caracas.
While I was registered as an Investment Advisor with the
National Association of Securities Dealers with a Series 6 license, I had to
take several exams to be able to work with Merrill Lynch. I needed a Series 7
because the Series 6 is primarily for mutual funds whereas the Series 7
encompassed stocks, bonds and options. I also had to take a Series 63 for some
reason or another.
I recall filling out the paperwork to take the exam and
remember being called into Javier Manrique’s office. He said, “Rob, I believe
we have a problem.” I immediately tensed up because I had no idea what he was
talking about. He said, “You weren’t truthful on your application for the
National Association of Securities Dealers.” As my mind began churning wildly,
it came to me in a flash. When I initially took the Series 6, I was asked if I
had ever been convicted or pleaded guilty to any kind of a crime. I truthfully
stated I had once been caught for shoplifting a Penthouse magazine when I was
in college. Several years after I was working for Pamco, I received a note
from Boulder County telling me I could have the case closed for a fee. I paid
the fee and figured that was the end of that story. The NASD apparently has a
longer memory and likely compared my answers to the questions on the Series 6
exam with those I had put for the Series 7. Nevertheless, I recall being more
than a little nervous as Javier confronted me. After I realized what the
situation was I laughed about it and told him the story. It no further
hindered my progress.
The offices for Merrill Lynch were located on the 4th
floor of Parque Cristal in Los Palos Grandes. It continues to be one of the
nicer places to work in Caracas. With a station for the metro at the entrance
to the building and nice restaurants all around, it was a great place to work!
The offices were nicely appointed and most had a window which allowed you to
see the person who worked across from you in the next office. If you were with
a client or wanted privacy all you had to do is close the window. It was
wonderfully practical.
I recall my first meeting with Merrill Lynch. I quickly
sized up the “competition” and figured I would have no problem whatsoever
getting right back into the top 10% of the sales force as I had been with
Liberty Financial. As I looked around me and listened to those in the meeting,
I saw people who by in large had very negative attitudes and seemed to complain
about everything. I was sure with my positive attitude I would soon be running
circles around them.
I later found they did not all have terrible attitudes
and were, in fact, excellent professionals! In addition, there were many who
were extremely successful in the business. People like Josefina Ramirez,
Michele Giacamotti, Ivan Pulido, Ernesto Amengual, José Villa and Freddy
Martinez to name a few. I was to learn a humbling lesson about just how hot I
thought my stuff was!
Thanksgiving came around and I started feeling serious
nostalgia. Mine was the case as it is for so many people in the United States of America. Thanksgiving meant being with family! I got serious home
sickness. While the sadness was particularly poignant initially, we have
maintained the tradition in our home and we have our own Thanksgiving every
year. Though I have kept in close contact with my family and visit every chance
I get, Thanksgiving continues to be one of the times I miss them most!
By December 1992 I had a job, the girls had a school, we
had a nice apartment and our life in Venezuela was on its way. My mom and Ito
came to visit us in our new apartment and our new life to celebrate Christmas
and ring in a New Year.
I learned what Christmas was all about in Venezuela. This definitely has to be one of my favorite times of the year! There is a
general lack of activity from about December 15th to about January 15th. It’s
just pretty well understood people don’t work during this time. It is a time
where family and friends get together and share joy and jubilee for the holiday
season, along with a healthy dose of alcohol which is always available!
The fireworks are spectacular and there are many
traditions during the holiday season which are particularly gratifying. Just
about every company with any number of employees has a Christmas party.
Sometimes they are informal affairs at a bar and other times it is a full blown
party with terrific music from all genres and lots of entertainment. In
addition, it’s a time when many friends talk to each other and catch up on what
has been happening while the world has been doing its flippy flop over the last
several months.
While families are generally close, Christmas brings them
even closer together. Even the younger generation stays to be with the family
before “sneaking away” later to go party with their friends. The adults
usually don’t mind though because they are usually having a pretty good go at
it themselves. A time honored tradition we established many years ago in New México is shots of Tequila on Christmas Eve. I am happy to say the tradition lives on
in Venezuela every year!
When the girls were younger we would play the “Niño
Jesús” game. While Santa Claus does frequent several of the local shopping
malls, it’s baby Jesus who is in charge of delivering gifts throughout Latin America. For the most part he comes shortly after midnight. While the kids are thrilled
to open their gifts on Christmas Eve, the parents are also happy because they
don’t have to wake up early the next morning. Christmas in Venezuela is primarily celebrated on Christmas Eve and we typically tip over and go to bed sometime
around 4 AM and 6 AM depending on how much fun everyone is having!
It usually takes several days to recover. Plenty of
leftovers from spectacular menus prepared on Christmas Eve are usually
available. In the meantime, people start getting serious about partying again
for New Year’s Eve. Usually, there are several warm up parties to tune up for
the Big Event. Fireworks which come out full force on Christmas Eve step it up
a notch for New Year’s Eve. The dogs head for their master’s side and bombs
bursting in air continue from several days before to several days after The Big
Day.
More often than not the ladies are getting the food ready
and the guys are making frequent jaunts to the liquor store. Heads are
counted, menus elaborated and arrangements made. The food typically includes
healthy doses of hallacas which are similar to my native tamales, and yet, very
different. A pork roast with all the trimmings is one of the centerpieces as
are lentils which simmer in the background before making their first appearance,
albeit minus several bites, when midnight strikes.
With the stage set, people settle down and wait for
company to arrive. As is usually the case, people start arriving about 8 to 9
PM with many waiting until closer to 11 to make their grand entrance. The
drink of choice for big events in Venezuela is whiskey. 12 years or better is
the norm rather than the exception. Buchanan’s, Chivas, Old Parr and Johnnie
Walker Black are the rule rather than the exception. With plenty of crushed
ice and Gaitas, the local holiday music, blasting in the background, a soft
roar is usually humming by about 11 PM.
Then things kick into high gear! People began looking
for cash to put in their pocket, suitcases to go for a walk, grapes and lentils
to eat as the New Year arrives. With the TV on to see the sight of New York greeting the New Year, we start picking up speed. By 11:50 PM, “Yeah - the house
is a rockin so don’t bother knockin’, come on in!” to pay homage to the late
great Stevie Ray Vaughn.
With the radio blaring and whoops and hollers filling the
air, the countdown begins. People grab whatever they can to make the most
noise possible and start living it up. Champagne is taken from the freezer,
glasses are filled and the stage is set. As the New Year comes, people toast
and the melee comes to a head. People grab a fist full of as much cash as they
can get a hold of with one hand and as the clock strikes 12:00 AM, there is a
mad dash for grapes as many struggle to down one grape with each dong of the
New Year. I’ve never been a big participant in the grape ritual because I
choked once and decided I wanted to live to see the next New Year to do it all
over again!
Everyone hugs and kisses with big “abrazos.” “Pats” are
seldom permitted and the offender of the “pat” normally receives a big hug in
response. As things settle down, most eat a small cup of lentils for good luck
and some refill.
Then a select few grab suitcases and head for the
street. As you look out into the streets you see many people walking up and
down the road, some in a drunken stupor, with suitcases so as to have good luck
in travels for the coming year. This is usually the time when many head off to
see the other side of their families and when the youngsters head off to party
with their friends. One of their favorite destinations is the beach to watch
the sun come up.
The music continues to rock with Gaitas and during the
night and “Amparito” is usually played at least a couple of times. As pulse
decreases around 2 to 3 AM, somebody, usually me, breaks out a bottle of
tequila, limes, salt and our collection of shot glasses to get things rocking
again! By this time the drivers are starting to take it a little easy while
the rest line up to put them down.
The dancing which has been going off and on all evening
once again comes to a head with elixir to move things to the next level and the
magic of the moment moves the spirit. This last burst of energy usually leads
to ultimate lockdown for the older folks. If you’re lucky many of the guests
begin to help picking up the mess and if unlucky you begin to see your helpers
dropping off to sleep anywhere handy.
And thus 1992 ended. I was just beginning a new
adventure as a strange man in a strange land. While there were many eventful
years previous to and after 1992, more than any other it was the year I
experienced the most heartache, excitement, risk and adventure. Moving my
family thousands of miles away to a new country with no job and no permanent
place to stay was a tremendous challenge.
Years later, the events of 1992 together with my
reflection upon them became the key ingredient of my concept “It’s the Bounce
that Counts!” which I would later share in conferences, seminars and
workshops. Sometimes in life we are up and sometimes we are down. I learned
it was not so important where we happened to be in the cycle. What was most
important was our ability to Bounce Back at least one more time to fight
another day. After all, “It’s the Bounce that Counts!”
The first part of the year I studied for the National
Securities Dealer’s exams. The day I got my results saying I had passed the
test I felt like the floodgates had been opened and I was ready to rock! My
only challenge was what to do and where to go with all the energy I had!
I recall the first day I started making calls to prospect
for business which was a couple of weeks before I could actually go out and
close deals because I hadn’t received the results from my exam. I sat down at
my desk and in about 20 minutes called everyone I knew in Venezuela. Unfortunately, none of them had any money. For a Financial Consultant looking to drum
up business, this is not a good sign!
On the positive side, the people I did know were happy to
give me referrals and thus began my career as a Financial Consultant in Venezuela. The first day I could go out and actually close a deal was on April 1st, 1993.
I had already met with one of my referrals who wanted to open an account so I
set an appointment to close the deal. I got the documents signed, grabbed the
check and came back my first day out of the gates with an account as an April
Fool’s day surprise. I was pretty excited! I went to the office manager to
have him approve the documents. After looking everything over he asked, “Is
that all? It’s just a small account!” While it was a small account, I believe
it was about $40,000, I thought he could at least congratulate me and say, “Hey
Rob, that’s great! Little by Little We Go Far!”
I never could really figure out the whole manager role.
It always seemed to me in the financial services business, as with many other
businesses, the primary function of a sales or office manager should be to
motivate their people. On the contrary, what I often found were managers who
led by fear and intimidation. The order of the day was often, “You better get
your butt in gear because there are a lot of people who are just waiting to
take your job!” While this worked with some people, I never liked the tactic.
There was high turnover in the field. I saw many people
come and go during my time at First Investors, Pamco, Liberty Financial and
Merrill Lynch. There seemed to be a general belief, however, if you were able
to stick it out for a certain period of time, you were pretty much “safe.”
This time period in Merrill Lynch was set by most at five years. So initially,
this was my target. I later found this was not the case though it did give me
something to aim for initially!
1994 was a year with two important events in my
life. The first was teaming up with Pelayo Garcia and working as a team in
Merrill Lynch and the other was buying my first property.
Pelayo had been after me to team up with him from the
time I started producing at Merrill. I was hesitant initially because many of
my colleagues told me it was wise to wait at least one year before teaming up
with someone. In addition, I had always worked on my own and wasn’t sure if I
would like working with a partner.
Little by little Pelayo and I began sharing more with
each other. As it turned out, we had many common interests. In the area of
self help and motivation, we both felt strongly about the importance of
positive thought and action to achieve our objectives. Nevertheless, there
were several things about which we did not agree.
One area where we clashed had to do with style. Pelayo
was very aggressive and had a, “take no prisoners” attitude. My approach to
the business was subtler. A “kinder, gentler” approach you might say. I
strongly believe we don’t convince people to do anything and particularly if
it’s against their will. They must convince themselves and we are merely
conduits, who provide information, some useful and some useless, to that end.
Another area about which we didn’t agree was how our
business should be divided. I believed we should have an even split, 50% ~
50%, while he believed he should have a higher split. While he had more
assets, one of the key reasons we worked together was for him to be the
“outside guy” and me to be the “inside guy.” He went out prospecting for
business while I stayed in the office managing the investments and the
clients. From the get go I told him the only way I would be interested in
partnering with him was if we had an even split on commissions. While
generating new clients and building assets was initially difficult, I was
holding my own and didn’t feel I needed anybody to fall back on.
My perception was he wanted to be the “team leader” and
build a group whereby he was Master and Commander in control. I told him in no
uncertain terms, “It’s my way or the highway!” If he wanted to be the chief,
he could do it with someone else because I wanted no part of it. Eventually,
he conceded and, though we had a period where the split started in his favor
because he did bring more assets to the team at the get go, over a period of a
few months we worked to a 50% ~ 50% split.
In the meantime, I had the itch to buy my own place to
live. I was tired of renting and “throwing” my money away so someone else could
benefit with what seemed to be steadily increasing property values. When we
lived in Colorado we never had complete certainty as to our future so I had
been content to rent. Now, I had a burning desire to have my own place.
I had some money in investments, IRA and the bank. Along
with a loan I was able to obtain through my mom and Ito, I came up to an amount
of $100,000 I could invest. We started looking around at apartments, which
were about 1200 to 1500 square feet. I focused on apartments because they were
most available and I had discovered for security reasons, they were probably
our best option. Everyone I had met in Venezuela who lived in a house had been
robbed at some time or another, many in very undesirable circumstances. I
decided to take the low road in this respect and we zeroed in on apartments.
At the time we were living in an apartment, which was
about 1800 square feet. The apartments we saw initially really didn’t grab my
fancy at all. They were smaller, in buildings which weren’t quite as nice and
had little or no view at all. One day we went to see an apartment of the 4th
floor of a building called Pacaraima on Avenida Este 3 in Los Naranjos. As we
drove to the building we fell in love with the area. It was in the same
neighborhood we were living, close to the girls’ school. In addition, it was
on a cul-de-sac which had a park and sports facilities including a tennis
court, basketball courts and a soccer field.
The first apartment we saw was fairly nice. It had a nice
space distribution, was about 1500 square feet and the asking price was about
$120,000. It had three bedrooms and three bathrooms and a small terrace which
had an excellent view of the building right in front! One parking space was
underground and another was out in the open and it came with a small storage
area in the parking garage. I wasn’t particularly crazy about the place though
there were a few things we liked.
As we were leaving we talked to two people, one was Dr.
Edgar Bustos, a pediatrician on the 5th floor who grunted and provided little
information. The concierge, Brigida, was much more helpful. She told us about
some of the good and bad things related to the building and also asked us if we
might be interested in buying one of the Penthouses which was also for sale. I
told her we were and she gave me the phone number.
I called a gentleman by the name of Elie Frewa, the owner
of the Penthouse, and asked him what he was asking for the place. He gave me a
number which was much greater than we were thinking about. Nevertheless, I told
him we wanted to see the place. When I hung up, Haydee asked me if I was
crazy. I responded, as was my custom, “Usually!” I told her I wanted to see it
and even if we couldn’t afford it, we could at least see a nice place and at
best perhaps work out some kind of deal.
We arranged to see the apartment on Saturday, February
26th at 11:00 AM. Haydee and I fell in love with it immediately! The
distribution was very similar to the other apartment we had seen on the 4th
floor, with additional benefits. The apartment itself was bigger and closer to
2000 square feet. It had an additional terrace, which had a big water fountain
with plants all around it with an open ceiling through which you could see the
sky. Each of the bedrooms was slightly bigger and, most importantly; it had a
bar in one corner of the apartment with panoramic windows which looked out over
an unobstructed view of Caracas and the Avila.
We immediately noticed one of our neighbors in the Penthouse
within the same complex in front of us building upstairs on the roof. I asked
Elie about the construction and he explained many who own Penthouses in
apartment buildings construct on the roof. While according to the official
document of the property, the area pertains to the building, many are able to
get the approval of their neighbors and build anyway. This is “La Ley del Vivo”
at its finest!
As I sat in the bar looking out over Caracas, I was in
love! I was highly motivated to make a deal and Elie was highly motivated to
sell. He and his wife had been trying to sell the apartment for some time with
no buyers. They had recently reduced the price substantially from their
previous price and were now willing to deal. I told him right off the bat I
didn’t have the kind of money he was talking about. At the time he was asking
for Bs. 18.000.000 which came to US$163.500 at an exchange rate of Bs. 110 to
the US$.
I told him I could come up with $100,000 and asked him if
he needed to have all the money up front. He told me they had recently
purchased another Penthouse and didn’t need to have all the money initially. I
asked if he would be willing to finance part of the deal and hold a mortgage on
the property to guarantee payment. He thought about it briefly and said
“yes!” While there were numerous details which we later worked out, we had a
deal!
This is an exciting time! We just put down $5,000 on our
dream apartment. We’re talking about a little Penthouse action with a swimming
pool and all the extras. I’ve always wanted the house on top. With a little
luck, everything will fall into place and we will move in to our new home in
one to two months.
This place is awesome. Great beautiful view of Caracas and the Avila. We’ll be on top of the world looking down. Joel Weldon’s
statement of, “Don’t get the rabbit habit, think mink!” stuck with me and
certainly applies in this situation.
It’s a little scary to think about how it’s all going to work
as far as paying for the place, though we will find a way. I have faith. This
also gives me a why and a what. For all my adult life I feel like I have been
throwing money away into a bottomless pit with rent. Now I can at least have
something I can call my own. I can take care of it and treat it with love.
This is something I have never felt before renting.
After finalizing all the details and signing on the
dotted line, we moved into our apartment in Residencia Pacaraima and I found
myself with major motivation to move and shake! Our monthly expenses were
about $2,600 per month and my income was about $1,800 per month. I immediately
began working to make up the shortfall.
One of my agreements with Merrill Lynch when I started
was to travel to the interior to find new accounts. Initially, I began
traveling to Maracaibo in western Venezuela. I received several referrals to
meet people on the “other side of the lake,” in Cabimas and Ciudad Ojeda. I
immediately had a chemistry which jibed with many of the people who lived and
worked there. Many were Italians who had immigrated years ago and started
businesses in the oil service industry. They were, generally, hard working and
very serious about their money which was fine by me.
My first major inroad came with a speech I gave to the
Chamber of Commerce of Lagunillas and from there I spread my wings. In 1994 I
traveled on average of once a month to Ciudad Ojeda. In order to get there, I
first had to drive to the airport in Maiquetía which was about an hour drive
depending on traffic. I flew to Maracaibo which was about another hour in the
air. Then I took a taxi ride of about an additional hour to the other side of
the lake. Year round the temperature is extremely hot in the region,
frequently exceeding 100 degrees Fahrenheit. People in Ciudad Ojeda were
impressed with my commitment and little by little my business expanded.
Primarily through word of mouth I began opening more and more accounts.
Venezuela ~ 1994
Start year off by forming a team at Merrill Lynch with Pelayo
Garcia and then quickly going to Albuquerque with Alicia and Chantalle in
January for Dad’s, Rori’s and Grandma McBride’s birthdays. We spent about two
weeks there and then came back.
Pooling our funds together and with special thanks to mom and
Dave have about $100,000 in possible financing to buy a place. Start looking
and after about 3 weeks find our Dream Penthouse. While more expensive than
we’re thinking about, with financing from ex-owner and all our savings we buy
our first property to the tune of $163,500.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch (work), things are going well.
There is a severe banking crisis in Venezuela. A total of about 12 banks close
during the year. And there is a flight to safety and in particular to dollars.
Pelayo and I bring in an average of $2 million per month for
first 6 months. Then exchange controls hit and the inflow of funds slows to a
trickle. Meanwhile, the markets worldwide are turbulent. We experience the
worst bond market in 60 years and the supposedly “safe haven” 10 year treasury
notes suffer a loss of 7% for the year. Our clients lose an average of the
same amount and are not happy campers!
Production at year end slows to almost nothing. Finish the
year with just under $150,000 in production for the firm, which translates to
about $40,000 in earnings on just under $30 million in assets.
Exchange controls and financial turbulence grip the country.
The exchange rate is fixed at 170 Bolivares to the dollar in July 1994 and
stays there until year-end. Many banks and insurance companies close affecting
many. Even so, all except the very wealthy eventually get back what they had
invested. The overall cost to the country and reserves is high and the mood of
the country is precarious.
Inflation hits 70% and people see their purchasing power
decline dramatically. Many companies are closing and outdated labor policies
strangle the country’s economy.
Most people are anxious to put 1994 behind them and yet wary
of what 1995 will bring.
Meanwhile, Pelayo and I have optimistic goals for 1995. We
plan on prospecting and working harder than ever. We start the year on a
positive note with Ama and Ito coming to Venezuela for a two-week visit.
“Onward ho we go into 1995!!”
As I reflect on this period of my life, it is without a
doubt one of the most exhilarating. More than 12 years later as I write these
thoughts, I finally figure out how to put into words my attraction for living
in Latin America, in general, and in Venezuela, specifically. There is no
doubt the “Quality of Life” in the United States and in other parts of the
world is very high. What we have in Venezuela is a “Quality of Living!” There
is no other place I have lived where I have felt so alive! Every day I wake
up, I know I am alive and kicking though I must admit sometimes I think it
would be better to live and kick a little less!
1994 perhaps more than any other year illustrates this
fact. In spite of turmoil and obligations which required I move my little
fanny, I was alive and together with Pelayo who became my soul mate, we were
alive. We had goals, ambitions and a life which drove us to succeed. While we
weren’t always successful in our endeavors, there is no doubt we lived and
breathed each and every moment.
To this day I am convinced my life is an adventure of
excitement, one which is full of ups and downs, twists and turns, satisfaction
and heartbreak. This is my life, to have and to hold, to create magical
moments right now because this instant is the most intense moment of my life
and now is the time to live it.
1994, with all of its commotion was, in fact, one of the
most intense years of my life and one I will always remember as a year which
through its challenges brought out the best in my abilities.
Setting goals had been an important part of my life for many
years. Pelayo and I were convinced it was the best way we had to keep on
track. While we didn’t always make our goals, we were very consistent and
through 1995 continued to build and grow our business.
Through the window which opened and closed between our
offices we communicated constantly throughout the day. On the 4th floor of the
West Tower of Parque Cristal, both of our offices faced toward the Avila, which loomed wonderfully in the background. We would energize each other when we
were down, be joyful when we were both motivated and, in general, supported
each other in all we did.
Our friendship was based on a similarity of circumstance
and a common objective. He grew up in Miami and was a transplant in Venezuela, as was I. We were both in a way, “strangers in a strange land.” While his
Spanish was much better than mine, we both faced cultural challenges which
often contradicted what we knew to be true. We had similar issues in terms of
visas, working permits and dealing with currency exchange issues as well as a
host of other items.
Most importantly, we both had a driving desire to
succeed. While we didn’t always agree on everything, the congruency of our
overriding goals and objectives kept us moving in the same direction. We were
both convinced we could make it into the elite of Merrill Lynch. While I
respected the abilities of the top producers in the office, I never doubted I
would soon become part of their ranks. This group wrote their own ticket and
was financially able to do as they pleased. Pelayo felt the same as I and
together we faced the world.
While we both concentrated on building assets, I was
primarily in the office taking care of clients and investments while he was out
and about drumming up business. On my monthly ventures to “La Costa Oriental del Lago” we would reverse roles and he would stay close to home while I was out and
about. During this time Pelayo also traveled quite a bit within Venezuela. One of his primary markets was Maturín.
While, much to our chagrin, we weren’t breaking any
records in terms of production and assets, we did manage to steadily increase
and build on our base of business. My first couple of years at Merrill Lynch
was particularly humbling. While I was in the top 10% of producers nationwide
with Pamco and Liberty Financial, I was merely in the middle of the pack at
Merrill Lynch.
Yearly trips for “Falcons,” “Chairmen,” and “Eagles” were
just beyond our reach. I had previously become accustomed to frequent
recognition for my achievements. Promotions from Investment Manager to Senior
Investment Manager, for example, were norm. “Top Gun” awards for outstanding
production were a common event as were yearly sales trips.
My title from the beginning to the end of my career with
Merrill was simply “Financial Consultant.” I received no promotions and no
title changes to motivate me. The only time my title changed was when Merrill
began to reposition and we all became Investment Managers rather than Financial
Consultants. At Merrill I was more likely to get a swift kick in the rear for
a mistake than a pat on the back for a job well done. Both Pelayo and I came
to understand this and knew it was part of the game. We were each other’s motivation
and bound together in thick and thin.
One of the exceptions to this rule was my being invited
to New York for a training program in March of 1995. This particular trip was
certainly one of the highlights of my career with Merrill Lynch. While I had
worked for New York based firms since starting as a Financial Consultant many
years earlier with First Investor’s Corporation, I had never been to the Big
Apple.
The actual training was done in Princeton, New Jersey, in a very nicely appointed training facility owned by Merrill Lynch. I met
Stephen Dear and his staff who expertly guided us on the do’s and don’ts of
Financial Consultants.
Kevin Wallace, a Financial Consultant in the Far East,
was hailed as God’s gift to Merrill. He was the top producer in the world and
generated from 12 to 13 million dollars in revenue for the firm. A quick
calculation at the time on my part brought his income to more than $5 million
per year! Later he took the role of the punching bag rather than the hero as
his business practices were scrutinized.
The highlight of the trip for me was a trip into New York City to see the New York Stock Exchange and visit Merrill Lynch’s headquarters.
I stayed with another colleague in a hotel across the street from the
impressive twin towers of the World Trade Center which soared over us as we
played tourist for several days.
I will never forget the feeling of walking through New York City for the first time. The activity and movement of literally millions of
people in the business hub of the world was impressive. To this day thinking
about the buildings which tower over Manhattan and spew forth massive numbers
of people takes my breath away.
I had the opportunity to go to the top of the World Trade Center and sit on top of the world looking down. The meetings in Princeton, New Jersey, were full of success stories within the firm which created a
tremendous degree of commitment and motivation. While I was already extremely
motivated, my desire became even more ingrained into my being.
Nice relaxing day in the sun at the Costa Linda in Aruba with my Dad, Beth, Rori, Haydee, Alicia and Chantalle. We spent the morning at the
pool, went to the beach for a bit where the waves were a bit rough. We ate
lunch at poolside and then kicked back in the afternoon by the beach and the
pool. Dinner was at Pizza Hut per Alicia’s request.
It’s great to have the girls with us on the trip. Haydee won
the mother’s day raffle and as a prize received two tickets to “Italian Night,”
a t-shirt and $100 in gambling bucks to the Hyatt. Later on, I won a bottle of
wine in a Merengue dance contest. This is perhaps one of my greatest
achievements!
Workshop Ah Ha’s with Bill Waters:
œ Law of
reciprocity ~ The more I give, the more I get
œ If you
have a big dream, you will never get lost
œ If
someone doesn’t want to talk to me, they don’t deserve me.
œ Learn
something from every failure
œ Not
interested? What is the name of your biggest competitor?
œ Failure
is a natural part of success
œ Merrill
Lynch International is the highest paid sales force in the world
œ Don’t
allow anybody to be your superior – treat everybody as your equal
œ Understand
the process and above all, have fun!
œ Always
follow a statement with a question
œ One
hour of planning saves 3 – 4 hours of activity
œ Today’s
triumph (or setback) is just one step along the journey
There is a magical wonder about setting goals. In August
of 1995 one of my goals was to write a book. By August of 2005, ten years
later, Un Don Especial was written and ready to rock. While it took me
until December of 2006 to finally get it published and in my hot little hands,
it was written by August of 2005. As “The Law of Attraction” promises, the
universe had aligned with my goals and led to the writing and publication of
the book I had once only dreamed about writing.
In July of 1995 the person we bought our apartment from,
Elie Frewa, asked if I would be able to pay him the balance of what I owed him
for the apartment. Because exchange controls were in effect, US$’s were king.
This worked to our favor and when we agreed on a final payment it was with the
benefit of a substantial discount from the original amount. When the exchange
controls took effect laws changed to make payments for any dollar based transactions
payable instead in the equivalent number of Bolívares at the official exchange
rate.
In the end, Elie was happy because he had cash, and I was
happy because even though I still owed money on the apartment, it was now much
less in dollar terms. The final cost of our apartment, taking into account the
reduction to the principal amount, came to about $136,000.
I had spoken to my office manager, Javier Manrique, in
early 1994 about starting a Toastmasters International Club in the office. I
was convinced of the club’s principles and values and confident many could
benefit, including me. He told me very matter of fact, “You can start a
Toastmasters club or you can be a Financial Consultant but you can’t do both.”
I got his message loud and clear, put the Toastmasters club on the back burner
and concentrated on my job.
In September, 1995 we had a Relationship Management
Program meeting in Caracas. Among the ideas we discussed was social
responsibility. In a breakout group several of us discussed ideas we could
implement to be more socially responsible as an organization. One of the ideas
I proposed to the group was to start a Toastmasters group which could help
employees of Merrill Lynch in Caracas as well as others.
When it came time to choose someone to deliver our
findings to the entire group of participants, comprised of about 100 people, I
immediately volunteered. With butterflies in my stomach and my heart in my
throat, I expressed our ideas to the group and gave particular emphasis to the
Toastmasters idea. José Malbrán, an intense, extremely likeable guy from
Argentina who was the Regional Manager at the time, loved the idea. Wonder of
wonders, all of a sudden, Javier also embraced the idea. In retrospect, this was
one of the first of many large groups to which I would speak!
This was the beginning of what was to be a very
fulfilling part of my life for years to come. I wasted no time in getting the
ball rolling. I called Toastmasters and asked what we needed to get a club
going. They gave me the requirements and I set up an informational meeting to
get things started.
Initially the members of Toastmasters came from Merrill
Lynch. Some of the original people stayed and others dropped out. As we had
people drop out, we opened the club to non employees. This turned out to be a
tremendous source of extremely fulfilling friendships, which I maintain to this
day.
The learning process of starting a club, organizing
meetings and, most importantly, of keeping people motivated has been one of my
most important lessons in life. There were many times over the years to come
when enthusiasm would ebb and I would jump in to inject new found vigor into
the club. Time and again we revived from near closure to keep things rolling.
The Caracas Toastmasters Club continued after I moved
from Caracas to Argentina for a little while until eventually vanishing as
interest came to a standstill.
My ideal day:
I wake up in the morning bright and early at 6:00 AM. I go
to my own personal gym and workout for half an hour while watching the news and
catching up on European markets.
Afterwards, I take a nice hot shower in my shower overlooking
the Rockies. After eating a healthy breakfast of fruits and juices, I go into
my personal office and from 8:00 AM to 10:00 AM, I get in two solid hours of
work with my electronic workstation which allows me to download via satellite
all of the previous days information for my clients.
By 10:30 I’m buckling my ski boots. I walk out of the front
door, strap on my boards and ski down to the chair lift. After several
exhilarating runs, I ski back to my house where I start lunch with a nice cup
of hot chocolate. Our maid cooks a light, delicious, nourishing lunch. By
2:00 PM, I am back in my office for two more solid hours of work. I reallocate
$10 million in assets for a nice cool production of $200,000. Fortunately, I
am now working for myself so a large chunk of that goes to me!
At 5:30 PM Haydee and I are in our hot tub outside soaking in
luxury. After a nice refreshing shower, we plop ourselves in front of the
fireplace in nice cushy furniture playing games with the girls until we put
them to bed at 9:00 PM. We have a nice solid hour of time to read and relax
together. By 10:30 PM we are out like a light thanking God for the
perseverance it took to get where we are.
After spending Christmas in Venezuela, we went to visit
family in New Mexico. The highlight of the trip was going skiing in Taos:
I enrolled the girls in an all day ski program at Taos Ski School for Kids. Alicia was in one class and Chantalle in another. Both started
out on the poma and Alicia graduated to the beginner’s chair lift on the first
day.
At the end of the day, both teachers said my girls were the
stars. Both of them were anxious to show me what they had learned so I joined
them for their first few runs the following day.
Alicia then showed me she could go on the chair lift by
herself. When I had gone inside, Alicia tried to take out the lift line rope
with her neck. Oops! Afterward she was all right and anxious to ski the next
day.
I can picture myself swishing down the slopes with my lovely
girls. I am so happy we had a chance to do this.
Around this time I began to develop a theory about Latin
America in general and, in specific, Venezuela. The theory has to do with the
fact people in general praise children for being “vivos” and chastise them for
being passive. Those who are “vivos” generally enter into a situation and use
their influence to gain what is frequently an unfair advantage. While this is
sometimes desirable, it is in my opinion this is one of the chief reasons why Latin America continues to be an “underdeveloped” country. I wrote the following poem
which expresses this theory.
El Vivo
En una sociedad donde él que es más vivo es
rey,
no se respeta la ley.
El vivo toma todo lo que puede aunque la
otra no cede.
El que hace trampa promueve el hampa.
Daily motivation was and continues to be an important
part of my life. Words have the power to transport us into another place and
time. 1996 was a year where the idea of an “Adventurer Mentality” accompanied
me daily.
My visits to la Costa Oriental del Lago became more
fruitful as time went on. My relationships were strengthened and people began
to trust me more and more. I started seeing many clients and prospects for
business and socially as well. With each visit my asset base and client base
built, if not in the moment, with seeds I planted with increasing frequency.
In particular one client in Bachaquero became a
tremendous source of business and satisfaction. Unfortunately, I learned
several years later this client died unexpectedly in a tragic automobile
accident.
I began to realize the relationship with my clients was
the most important part of developing a strong asset base. As my relationships
strengthened so too did my productivity.
Pelayo and I joined forces with Salomon Levy to conquer
the world. Salomon had started after we had and, while very good and
experienced, had less in assets. We developed a plan, which seemed to make
sense economically and proceeded to yank and crank.
We had a ball and we were constantly pushing each other
to work harder and be more effective. Working together also had its benefits
when one of us wanted to take time off or had to travel for business. As one
would travel, we generally had two people taking care of the fort.
In June of 1996 we reached the milestone of $50 million
in assets. We had a great celebration to make sure we wouldn’t forget the
event. We also pushed over $210,000 in production during the same month.
While we were still small fish in a bigger pond, we were all convinced we were
on target to take the world by storm. As a team we were generally among the
first in the office in the morning and some of the last to go home in the
evening. More importantly, we seemed to have more fun than the rest.
œ Provide
Better Service
œ Call
everybody
œ Answer
phone calls within 1 hour
œ Promise
a lot and deliver more
œ Stay
focused
œ Work
8:00 ~ 5:30
œ 1 FC
available on holidays
œ Find
new ways to explain investments
œ Always
have an opinion
œ Start
day with service calls
œ Be of
service
œ Introduce
clients to management
œ Eliminate
errors
œ Get to
know clients’ families
œ Get to
know clients’ special needs
œ Take
key clients to lunch on birthdays
œ Make
clients feel special
œ Always
be courteous no matter what
œ Never
lose control
œ Always
show respect
œ Show
special interest in clients’ interests
We were bound and determined there wouldn’t be anybody or
anything to stop us from being successful. We brainstormed constantly and were
always looking at new ways to increase our asset base and production. Now many
years later as I reflect on these ambitions a few were perhaps unrealistic. Particularly
to “eliminate errors” and “never lose control”!
In the meantime, Alicia and Chantalle were bigger and
more beautiful by the day. They were now both going Instituto Andes. Chantalle had originally gone to Mi Tita for preschool and then joined her big
sister at Instituto Andes. The school has always been very dedicated and
serious about education. While it was a bit too strict for my taste, I can now
see the benefit it had on our girls. Both Alicia and Chanty have been happy,
thoughtful and always respectful. Seeing them go off to school each morning in
their uniforms was certainly a sight to behold.
Haydee and I had made a conscious decision when the girls
were born about Haydee taking care of the girls and not working outside of our
home as long as we could swing it. With my work picking up and income
increasing yearly, we were able to maintain the promise and Haydee was fully in
charge of raising our beautiful daughters. While I will take some of the
credit for how wonderful they have become, I will give the lion’s share of the
credit to Haydee who was there every step of the way through their development
from babies, to toddlers to little girls and now to young ladies.
There were constant activities and much of Haydee’s time
was spent toting the girls to one thing or another. If it wasn’t ballet, it
was flamenco or some other function. Haydee was constantly on her toes making
sure they were well cared for and not a day went by when Haydee didn’t express
her love to our beautiful daughters with actions and words.
In August we made another trip to the states with an
initial stop in Colorado. We visited Ivan, Dale and Denise, Rick and Jeanie
Schuettpelz, Curtis Varnold and Tim Tafoya. We went to Waterworld with the
girls before heading down south to Albuquerque.
I wrote this poem for my dad…
Three and four ago
A babe was born
They christened him two
Two by two the years go by
Said two to one
What is true?
Came the answer
Work straight and through!
Two by one the years go by
Said two to one
Where are you?
Came the answer
Working straight and through!
Two wondered and thought
Is this true?
One by one the years go by
Two sees it is true
Something for all to view
One has worked straight and through!
One by two the years go by
The love shows through
One and two know
The straight and through.
~ rhm²
Our main event this time in Albuquerque was Maya’s
wedding. Curiously enough, Maya married Allan Lujan on the same day, August
31st as Haydee and I had been married eleven years earlier. The wedding was at
my mom and David’s home and it was spectacular. The girls looked so cute and
Maya was a happy camper. We all had a great time.
The last part of 1996 was spent remodeling the bedrooms
and bathrooms in our apartment. José Guzmán, a long time friend of Haydee’s,
came up with some great ideas and set to work to transform our apartment. As
is most often the the case with construction, we lived in chaos for a while.
In the end, however, we ended up with some nice new living quarters.
What excitement! Maya and Allan arrive in Caracas at 9:10
PM. They are the very last ones to get their luggage and one of the pieces of
baggage has lost its tag. Stayed up until 3:00 AM talking and drinking Polar.
After spending Christmas Eve and Christmas day with Maya
and Allan in Caracas, we head off to El Playón to the Club Posada Boconó along
with Mirna and Michael for some fun in the sun. Among the highlights was when
a surfer crashed into Maya and gave her a busted lip. Fortunately, liquor was
flowing freely and any pain was quickly washed away.
One of the first things I did in 1997 was to make an
appointment to get laser surgery on my eyes. While there were other types of
surgery being done in the USA at the time, this particular surgery was not yet
approved. Nevertheless, the doctor I was referred to had performed many of the
surgeries with excellent success. My first appointment was in January while
the surgery actually took place on May 29th.
I was quite nervous going into the surgery. Imagining
what might happen if there were complications and losing my sight wasn’t a nice
thought. When I saw the number of people lined up to have the surgery, my
fears were calmed. It reminded me of how we branded cattle back at the ranch
in Grants. Line ‘em up and knock ‘em down. The entire surgery took no more
than 5 minutes per eye and I was on my way.
I recall doing the calculations at the time and figuring
the doctor would be an excellent client! While I did follow up and try to
round him up, I was unable to nail him down for an appointment.
The surgery itself, while at the time it didn’t appear
so, became a resounding success. It took several weeks for things to settle
down and then for the first time in my adult life, I could see my toes while
taking a shower! It was truly amazing to be able to wake up and be able to see
without having to don a pair of glasses or insert little pieces of plastic into
my eyes. I was thrilled.
The only thing I wasn’t overly happy with is while my
left eye had perfect 20-20 vision; my right was a bit blurry. The doctor and
the nurses told me the surgeries have varying degrees of success and nothing is
100%, which, of course, they told me at the outset as well. Eventually, I
found the “little problem” with my right eye was actually a godsend. As I type
these words 44 years old, I don’t need glasses to see far or close. My left
eye takes over to see faraway and my right when I am reading. On their own, I
cannot read with my left eye or see very well into the distance with my right.
Dateline: Haydee sticks her fingers together with Superglue
while gluing a nail. Freaks out and is generally hysterical, while I try to
pry her fingers apart with a knife.
Even though I usually had dogs while I was growing up, it
wasn’t until I was older when I really enjoyed having dogs. While I was small,
we had two Collies, one whose name was Lassie and the other whose name was
Thor. Afterwards, we had a little Pekinese who we named Missy. Feeding Missy
and taking care of her needs was always somewhat of a hassle for me when I was
young. My mom would often ask me, “How would you like it if I didn’t feed
you?”
In Denver we had Sweetie, a Black Labrador, Stuart had
given to us and who Maya eventually cared for and loved for many years. After
several years living in Venezuela it was time to get a dog. I searched the
Internet and looked at all the different characteristics of dogs. I wanted a
dog who could live in an apartment and who was good with children. The results
all pointed to a Beagle.
In April of 1997 we bought Tanny, a mostly black Beagle
about 3 or 4 months old. We soon learned Beagles, in general, and Tanny, in
specific, had a mind of their own. While she was very loving and fun to be
around, we could never teach her the basics, such as doing her deed in the
right place, coming when we called her or even fetching a ball. To be fair,
she actually fetched the balls pretty well and with a great deal of
enthusiasm. The challenge was for her to bring them back! In spite of her
shortcomings, I enjoyed having her around. There was nothing like coming home
to a pet that was always happy to see me regardless of what type of day I had.
On May 4th, 1997, my Uncle Abel died and I went to the
funeral. I was very moved when I was asked to give the eulogy. For me, my
Uncle Abel was my mom’s family in a nutshell. He was the one who had stayed in
the San Luis Valley, along with my Aunt Mabel, to live the life of the Vigils.
Farming and ranching were his life. Going back to San Luis would never quite
be the same after he was gone.
Below are my thoughts, put together as I traveled to Colorado and prepared the eulogy:
Uncle Abel, Abie, Abelito, El Shine, The Chief, Hijo del
Patrón, Sr. Vigil, Mr. Vigil, Mr. V and Butch. My Uncle Abel was known by many
names.
As you all know he was born and raised in the San Luis Valley. Once he tried to leave but his heart never left here. He soon came
back. He came back to his rancho, his cows, his horses, his pigs, these
beautiful mountains, his hunting, and most of all to you… his people.
My Uncle Able lived life on his terms and nobody else’s.
Perhaps this is what made him special to all of us.
He was a real person with real problems, real sorrows but
also real joys and real happiness. Most of all though he had a heart of gold.
He always felt a deep responsibility:
To his country
To his people
To his community
To his father
To his mother
To his brothers and sisters
To his wife
To his children
To his grandchildren
To his nieces and nephews
…and let us not forget the responsibility he felt
for his animals…
We all meant so much to him and he to us. Last night I asked
my daughter Alicia what she wanted me to say about my Uncle Abel and she said,
“Just tell them he was special to all of us.” I think that just about says it
all.
I have many fond memories of my Uncle Abel. I remember:
The way he used to always say, “Robbie, how are you? It’s so
good to see you!”
The way he used to give me a big hug every time I saw him.
The way he would give me an even bigger hug when I left.
As a kid, always wondering which the “good” eye was and as an
adult still wondering at times.
The glass eye looking up at me in the bathroom
The way he smelled right after he had bathed and splashed on
some Old Spice
The sadness he felt after his daughter Abby died.
Crouching down and making Alicia and Chantalle laugh with his
smile and kind words.
The pride he felt when he showed all of us his rancho
The joy he had when showing us his “Dream Tractor.”
The way he told me he was going to get better and come see us
in Venezuela.
Well Uncle Abel, you are now free to go wherever you want,
although, I am sure you will always come back to the San Luis Valley.
Most of you have more memories of my Uncle Abel than I can
ever dream of. Let’s share those memories today and in the future when we talk
about him. Let’s remember those good things that we can.
Not too long ago my uncle Abel was at the doctor’s office and
the doctor told him he had to stop drinking or he was going to die. My Uncle
told him, “You are going to die too!” It is important to realize my Uncle Abel
was not afraid to die. His time had come.
My Aunt Joan and my Uncle Abel would often discuss who would
be buried between my Grandmother and my Uncle Ernie. Aunt Joan it looks like
my Uncle Abel beat you to it…
William Shakespeare had Julius Caesar say the following:
The valiant never
Taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders
That I have yet heard,
It seems to me most strange
That men should fear;
Seeing that death,
A necessary end,
Will come when it will come.
Uncle Abel the time has come for you to join your:
Mother
Father
Brothers
Sisters
Daughter
Granddaughter
Prized horse Prince
Three legged Bulldog
If we want to be sad let’s be sad for us but certainly not
for him. He lived the kind of life most of us can only dream of, on his terms.
En nombre de la familia yo quiero darles las
gracias a todos ustedes por venir hoy para honrar mi Uncle Abel. Son ustedes
quienes le dieron su forma de ser.
Sin ustedes es posible que el hubiera sido
solo otro Don Nadie y no la persona increíble que fue.
BUTCH
Lo conocemos por muchos nombres
Pero es el mismo hombre
El vivió su vida de su manera
Sin importar lo que dijera la
chismera
Su vida era su familia, su
rancho, sus animales
Pero como todos tambien tuvo sus
errores
Sin embargo su corazón se hizo
con oro
Cuando lo necesitábamos nunca
estábamos solos
Hoy no vamos a decir adiós
Sino hasta luego y que vaya con
Díos…
My Uncle Abel’s funeral was bittersweet. I was so proud
to do his eulogy. While it was sad to see him go, it was also wonderful to see
so many people I hadn’t seen in so long. After the funeral we all went and ate
lots of food and partied long into the night. I reflected on how I would
prefer to have people celebrate my life rather than lament my demise when I
die. I’ve given instructions as such and expect they be carried out!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Pelayo, Salomon and I were
rocking and rolling. We met daily and strategized regarding the best way to
get new clients and maintain the clients we already had. My individual assets
as of the end of June, 1997 were $25 million and the team assets were in excess
of $60 million. My individual production was at $205,000 to date and as a team
we were just over half a million for the first six months. Little by little we
were getting where we wanted to be.
On July 7, 1997, Dan Charleston, the portfolio manager
for the Seligman High Yield Fund, came to our office to tell us about his
management style and the reasons why we should sell his fund. While at the
time it was just another portfolio manager proposing the marvels of his fund,
this particular company and this particular fund would become an important part
of my future in years to come.
Summer vacations took us to Cancun in August of 1997 to
share time with my dad, Beth and Rori. The Mexican people know how to treat
travelers the right way and we had a wonderful time. We chose the Royal
Solaris Hotel, which has an all-inclusive plan. We have come to love this type
of travel. In particular, we enjoy everything being “on the house” from the
moment we arrive to the moment we leave. Though we are obviously paying for
everything, it’s nice to know you don’t have to take your wallet out every time
you want to drink or eat.
Like most of these resorts, they had activities in the
evenings, which kept Alicia, Chantalle and Rori on their toes. We also enjoyed
the activities and, perhaps more than anything else, enjoyed sharing time with
my dad. Vacations with my dad are always full of activity. His energy and
drive come forth in everything he does which guarantees we are always on the
move. While my family doesn’t always move quite as quickly as he might like,
we have arrived at a happy medium and this type of vacation suits us all very
well.
During the summer of 1997 Pelayo asked to meet with
Salomon and me. The purpose of the meeting was to dissolve the relationship we
had together. While Pelayo indicated an interest in continuing to work with
Salomon, he wanted out of the relationship with me. He felt he was bringing in
the lion’s share of the assets, a point, which while arguable, was valid given
the arrangement we had talked about.
While his words cut through me like a knife initially, I
understood his concern and was happy to oblige. Both Pelayo and I indicated we
would like to continue working with Salomon. I believe of all of us, Salomon
was the most affected. He was caught in the middle of our disagreement and he,
I believe, wisely, chose to go his own way. He had given his all to the team,
as in my opinion we all had, and this came as somewhat of a slap in the face to
us both as I saw it.
Shortly after the office found out about what was going
on, José Villa, one of the more experienced Financial Consultants in the
office, approached me about working together. We agreed on a financial
arrangement; I moved my office next to his and I had a new partner.
While Pelayo’s words hurt, he was a very important part
of my history in Venezuela and Merrill Lynch. I wanted to continue our
friendship, which he was reluctant to do initially. In time, the frost melted
and we were able to patch up our differences. During the “recovery” period
there was a song which made me think of our relationship.
Lyrics
Don't Speak:
No Doubt
You and me
We used to
be together
Everyday
together always
I really
feel
That I'm
losing my best friend
I can't
believe
This could
be the end
It looks as
though you're letting go
And if it's
real
Well I
don't want to know
Don't speak
I know just
what you're saying
So please
stop explaining
Don't tell
me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what
you're thinking
I don't
need your reasons
Don't tell
me cause it hurts
Working with José brought new learning and challenges.
José had been working with Merrill Lynch for about 15 years. He was already
very successful and had a broad base of clients. This was good on one side
because I had much to learn from his experience. On the other hand, it brought
a level of comfort which was very distinct from the drive which Pelayo, Salomon
and I shared.
My relationship with José was almost the exact opposite
of what I had negotiated with Pelayo. José was very comfortable in the office
and was looking for someone to help boost his business by establishing new
relationships. In addition, he was looking to create a support system. He was
pretty well set in his ways and knew what he wanted. He wanted to make money,
lots of it, and, at the same time, have peace and tranquility.
I began traveling more and ramped up my prospecting
efforts. My association with José brought me to a level where my monthly
income stabilized considerably. Because of the type of business he did,
production came much easier and rotation of certain clients between various
investments was pretty well structured. This stabilization in income was again
good on one side and not so good on the other. Because income was steadier, my
prospecting efforts were not as enthusiastic as they had been previously.
José had about $90 million in assets when we teamed up
and I had just under $30 million. Together we were sitting on about $120
million assets and averaging about $100,000 per month in production for the
firm. As a result, we were primarily interested in higher profile type
clients. Clients of $100,000 were on the low end of the totem pole for us and
we were aiming by and large at clients who had the potential for $250,000 plus
in potential. By definition, and in practice, most of the people with this
amount of money already had pretty well established financial relationships. Our
challenge was often to woo them away from competition.
Two of the places to which I started traveling, in
addition to La Costa Oriental del Lago, were Valencia and Barquisimeto. I was
able to establish some particularly interesting relationships in Barquisimeto which kept me going back for more. I began to get the hang of traveling and,
for the most part, found less competition and more willingness to hear new and
innovative ideas than what was typical in Caracas.
One of José’s traits which I admired greatly and which at
times bugged the heck out of me was his ability to delegate just about
everything. I admired this trait because delegation is not something which has
come easy to me and it often bothered me because I was often the recipient of
his delegation. One of the phrases he used often was, “Bob, hazme la segunda
para…” There came a time where I didn’t want to do any more “seconds” for
anybody and I told him so in no uncertain terms. When we had misunderstandings,
this was generally the source.
On the other hand, I learned a lot about the business
from José. With his experience, he knew many of the ins and outs of the system
and he knew how to get things done. In addition, he was very clear on his
objective within Merrill Lynch and that was to make money. Everything else was
in the background. First and foremost, production needed to be taken care of
and, after this primary task, everything else would take care of itself. I
learned how to better manage clients when making particular types of
recommendations as well as the benefit in doing block purchases and sales of
securities. While asset allocation and investment objective were an issue,
they were not as important, in his book anyway, as doing the trade.
While I had some fundamental differences with this
particular approach, I did understand his point of view. José was looking to
produce for a few more years and then cash out and check out of the business.
Part of my initial appeal to work with José was the fact that he would tell me,
“Bob, I’m not sure how much longer I will be doing this.” I had been in the
business long enough to know the majority of Financial Consultants were most
successful in building their book of business when their partners either left
or were fired. Little did I know at the time I would soon be on the wrong end
of that type of circumstance!
While there were instances when a book of business was
divided up between existing Financial Consultants, it was common for a partner
or the partners of an exiting person to inherit the entire amount. At one
time, Pelayo, Salomon and I analyzed how each of the really “big” Financial
Consultants got their books and we found the great majority of them had
inherited a large portion of their assets. While they had been adept in
managing and garnering referrals from the existing clients, a large percentage
of their book came from accounts which someone else had actually opened.
I continued to be particularly good friends with Salomon
after the break up. Salo began working closely, though not as a partner, with
Freddy Martinez. José and Freddy had worked together previously and so it was
somewhat comical Salomon and I were now working with the previous “odd
couple.” During this time Pelayo continued to be pretty frosty towards me,
though in time this too would change.
In October of 1997, I was invited once again to a
training program conducted by Merrill Lynch in Princeton, New Jersey, and New York City. As a result of my recent partnership with José, I arrived with a new degree
of confidence and enthusiasm. I was now part of a team managing in excess of
$120 million in assets and this brought with it a certain degree of clout. In
these types of meetings, everyone positions, measures and compares. One of the
first questions asked is, “How much do you manage and how many clients do you
have?” This was the gauge as to how successful you were and often how much
attention people paid to you. While the trip to New York City this particular
time wasn’t as emotional as the first time, it was awe inspiring nonetheless.
In early December 1997 I was approached and asked if I
might be interested in considering a career in management within Merrill Lynch.
Following is a list of Pros and Cons I came up with at the time:
|
Pros
|
Cons
|
|
New energy
|
Need to
relocate
|
|
Enhanced
career opportunities
|
Less freedom
to work as I please
|
|
Ability to
positively impact a greater number of people
|
More, bigger
problems of others
|
|
Ability to
use my public speaking skills
|
Not as much
control over my income
|
|
Ability to
motivate large groups of people
|
Need to worry
about other people’s performance and not just my own
|
|
More stable
income
|
More time
away from family
|
|
More opportunity
to travel
|
|
|
Opportunity to use international skills
|
|
|
Ability to
teach skills acquired over past 12 years as FC
|
|
|
More career
opportunity as a manager than as a producer with other companies
|
|
|
More
prestige, title
|
|
|
Ability to
prove myself in a different position
|
|
|
Girls
opportunity to live in a different environment
|
|
After talking about it with Haydee and deliberating the
possibilities, I told them I was interested. While the opportunity didn’t pan
out in the end, it was a very beneficial exercise to help me evaluate my
priorities.
We closed 1997 with a trip our entire family took and it
was a long time coming! Haydee, Alicia, Chantalle and I packed our bags and
traveled to New Mexico on December 19th. After spending Christmas with my
folks, we hopped back on a plane on the 29th of December to see Ivan in Denver. We spent time with Ivan and celebrated New Year’s Eve with Rick and Jeannie
Shuettpelz.
This trip, in particular, took me back to the night
before I left the United States to live in Venezuela. The walk around the
lakes in front of my mom’s house in Rio Rancho had initiated a desire to return
to the USA one day with my entire family happier, healthier and wiser than when
we left in 1992. This was the crowning event. I was on a great ride
professionally with Merrill Lynch, Haydee was more beautiful than ever and our
daughters were the most beautiful, intelligent, courteous and most well
adjusted girls on the planet. This is, of course, my humble opinion and I
admit I might be just a little bit prejudiced!
As 1998 began, I got my feet under me and was starting to
adjust to José’s style of doing business. We were steadily increasing assets
and established several new trusts which besides solidifying the relationship
with a client, also brought in new assets. In particular Mundi Martinez and
Edgar Fernandez were helpful in my realizing this objective.
I was invited to go to the International District
Opportunities in Leadership program conducted in Miami by Merrill Lynch. This was
the second step in the offer I had received previously to move into management.
We met for two days of meetings and seminars where opportunities available
within Merrill Lynch for managers were explained. In addition, I perceived it
as a testing ground for those who would be chosen to lead the firm in the
future. While we were told the meeting was informational, I got the distinct
impression our every move was being followed and analyzed.
At the time I went to the program, I was interested in
pursuing the opportunity. As I began to see what was involved in the
management side of the business, it began to lose its appeal. While I’m not
sure if this shift in my enthusiasm was the reason for my not being called back
to future trainings, I imagine it was pretty obvious. One of the things I
really liked about being a Financial Consultant was the fact I felt in control
of my own fate and income at all times. Managing people and handling their
problems was never high on my list of priorities. Nevertheless, it was an
interesting experience and, if nothing else, I realized it was not something I
wanted to do.
Alicia learns how to ride a two wheeler today! We went out
to the park by our house and after a short while, Alicia is now tooling around
on her bike.
In July 1998 I had an opportunity to reconnect with
Amway. The company was now making inroads into Venezuela and one of my
mentors, Rosemarie, called me to see if I was still living in Venezuela. I told her I was and she set up a meeting for me with Jerry Webb, one of the “stars” of
my upline and the Network 21 organization when I was in Denver.
I was very anxious to meet Jerry and as it turns out, he
is a fine individual. His demeanor and his approach are excellent. What
didn’t coincide is what I imagined a “Diamond in Amway” to be. What I saw and
experienced was Jerry in Venezuela. On the day we met, he had an appointment
about every 30 minutes. He had set up operations in a modest hotel in Caracas and they flowed in one right after the other. With a stack of materials in one
corner of the room and a phone which never stopped ringing, what I saw didn’t
coincide with what I had once imagined the “lifestyle of the rich and famous”
within Amway.
I thanked him for his time and told him I was really not
interested in pursuing the idea at the time. After explaining the benefits of
his offering, he disengaged gracefully and left the door open for future
dealings. As I reflected on the meeting, I realized Amway for me had always
represented hard work and this is exactly what Jerry Webb was doing. The get
rich quick type of scheme, in my opinion, is for the birds. While I would have
more than likely been interested at a different time in my life, July of 1998
didn’t include Amway in my future.
As I was slaving away in the mines of Merrill Lynch,
Haydee and the girls had their own agendas which were packed with activity.
The girls were in ballet a couple of times a week and practice was daily before
an event. There were typically several events each year and each had a lot of
build up and activity. In addition to the endless rehearsals, which for some
reason never seemed to have a specific beginning or end, there were costumes to
rent, tickets to buy and flowers to take so we could properly congratulate our
girls.
While I am hard pressed to go to a ballet or theater
which doesn’t involve “my girls,” it was always a pleasure to go see my girls
dance. I watched them evolve from very young girls hopping around on stage
looking for directions to beautiful young women who move with grace and style
across the stage. I believe the sacrifice they made over the course of many
years has paid off tremendously in their poise, confidence and perseverance to
see things through to the end.
Haydee had her chosen activity, Flamenco. She began
taking classes with Diana Patricia, “La Macarena,” and loved it! She met a
group of ladies with common interests who met and danced several times per
week. Initially, Haydee looked at Flamenco as a good way to stay in shape and
do something she liked to do. In time, it began to include dancing in front of
large groups of people in various theaters around Caracas including the
prestigious Teresa Carreño. While she almost always stressed out before the
performances, she always emerged with her fabulous smile and special grace
which made us all so proud of her.
Trip to Morrocoy
Our first outing in our brand new Mitsubishi Space Wagon.
Along with our family came Guillermo, Mirtha, David, Ana Waleska, Gloria and
Tia Ana. We stayed at Playa Dorada, hung out at the pool some days and went
out to the beach on others.
Trip on Peñero to Cayo Playuela with the gang. Beautiful!
Crystal clear waters. Did some snorkeling in the reefs. Small fish bit Alicia.
I particularly liked the ride back on the boat. Sea was a little rough, looked
like rain. Chanty and David were up front. Ride’em cowboy! Sun pokes through
the clouds just for me to see the light!
Finished reading “Passages.” Perhaps 35 is not too early for
a “mid-life crisis.” According to the book this is very normal, just deal with
it, and don’t lose confidence and party on, Wayne!
Gloria cut her foot on some glass. Took her to the hospital
to get five stitches in her foot. I tied at Backgammon with Haydee, two games
each. Alicia beat me for the first time!
Haydee’s birthday (28th): Went to Playuelita.
Snorkeling with Chantalle. Helped her overcome fear of the fish. It was
spectacularly beautiful! Even though our BBQ got rained out, we had lots of
fun.
Started reading The Magic of Thinking Big. On this my
3rd time with the book, I realize despite a downturn in the
financial markets my confidence is once again building. Most important aspects
of confidence, walk tall, be happy and thankful for all I have!!
Our 13th Anniversary (31st): Rest and
relaxation by the pool then went for a romantic dinner in Tucacas. Prepared to
return to Caracas and hold clients hands because of 500 point plus drop in
market today.
Took peñero to Playuela and walked over to Playuelita. Had a
wonderful day snorkeling and checking out the ocean life. Took Alicia, Chanty,
Ana Waleska and Gloria out on the boogie board to check out the sights.
As the year went on, I began to realize this would be
anything but a normal year. In September, 1998, a crisis in Asia wreaked havoc
in the markets. The Dow Jones Industrial Average, which was pushing 9000
points, dropped dramatically to about 7400. I looked at the graphs and thought
this was an excellent time to buy. The bond markets had also taken a hit in
spite of a flight to quality and we had many concerned investors calling.
I suggested to José we call all of our clients and
suggest they take a position in equities or increase their exposure as a result
of the recent downturn. While I had no specifics which told me this was the
right thing to do, it was more of a “gut feeling” which led me to believe it
was a terrific time to invest. José wasn’t crazy about the idea and he told me
if I wanted to call my clients and make the suggestion to go for it. He, on
the other hand, was going to sit tight and ride the storm out for the time
being.
I promptly made a list of clients to call and told them
of my idea to increase exposure into equities. By and large the people I called
had taken some pretty serious hits and the value of their portfolios had
dropped significantly in recent weeks. With the exception of a few people, the
rest told me they would prefer to wait and see what happened. This was the
start of an idea which I have talked about a lot and have yet to put pencil to
paper. The idea is for a book called:
Buy High, Sell Low, Psychology of the Investor
It never ceases to amaze me how investors think. When
things are going well and they are making money, it’s a breeze to get them to
invest more funds. On the other hand, when things are going down and they are
losing money, it’s almost impossible to get them to invest. In many cases, the
best time to buy is when it is most difficult emotionally. Needless to say,
after the dust settled, the Dow Jones Industrial Average and equities in
general began to steadily increase. The few people who took my advice and
invested when the markets were so low were very grateful afterward.
One of the principles which stuck with me for the better
part of my career was dollar cost averaging. Simply, it means investing money
in a particular investment during good times and bad. The result over time is
an average cost which is below the average price of the investment. Though it
is also true if we continue to invest money into an investment which is going
down, we WILL lose money 100% of the time. So it is not always wise to
continue investing money into a particular investment. Nevertheless, for an
investment which makes sense over the long term, it makes sense to continue
investing money during good times and bad.
This particular philosophy generated many discussions
between José and me. While he agreed the principle made sense, he believed it
was better to have dividends and interest paid in cash. The primary reason is
because this would generate additional opportunities for the client to take
advantage of new investments and for us to increase revenues. This flew
directly in the face of my one guiding principle in everything I did with
clients, which was, “Always do what’s best for the client!” While what José
suggested was not necessarily “bad” for the client, it didn’t coincide with
what I felt was the best direction to take.
Even with these differences, we got along well and it
certainly felt good to be part of a team which was, by the end of 1998,
managing almost $130 million in assets and producing in excess of $1.25 million
for the firm. Coming from a difficult situation the year earlier where my
partner had basically told me to take a hike, it felt good to be part of
something bigger and while I don’t know if it was necessarily better, the new
relationship did garner a new found respect within upper management, or so I
thought.
Elections in Venezuela brought a great deal of turmoil
towards the end of 1998. Hugo Chavez, who had previously failed in several
coup attempts, was elected president primarily because people wanted some kind
of change. His largely populist message aimed at the most humble and
vulnerable sectors of the economy had taken hold. While the masses held on to
hope he would change things for the better, the financial and business sectors
were frightened with Chavez’ rabble rousing as well as his strong ties to Cuba.
As a result of what was happening worldwide in the
financial markets and countrywide politically, there were a lot of rumors in
the office with respect to Merrill Lynch’s future in Venezuela. I had several
close friends in the office who were petrified about the possibilities of the
office closing and/or possible layoffs. I had a long held perception about
layoffs which was only lazy and unproductive people are laid off from their
jobs. While some of my drive for the business had waned recently, I certainly
didn’t consider myself lazy and as a team we were very productive bringing
steady revenues into the firm.
I decided I would continue business as usual unless
someone told me otherwise. While several of my colleagues in the office began
putting off opening accounts, just in case, I kept yanking and cranking as best
I could.
One day I listed all of the speaking events I had done
outside of Toastmasters. I came up with the following.
œ Venezuela Joint Venture – Sep 95
œ Venezuela Joint Venture – Mar 98 (100 people)
œ Advanced
ML training – Sep 97
œ Relationship
Management – Oct 96 (Won prize)
œ Chamber
of Commerce Lagunillas – Sep 93
œ Chamber
of Commerce Maracaibo – Jun 94
œ Eulogy
for Uncle Abel – May 97
œ Motivational
Seminar for new FC’s – Attitude – Mar 98
œ Chamber
of Commerce Barquisimeto – Jun 98
œ Chamber
of “Industriales” Barquisimeto – Jun 98
œ Chamber
of Commerce Valencia – June 98
œ Euro
Currency Conversion and Implications – Dec 98
Haydee, Alicia, Chantalle and I took off for USA leaving all of the troubles in the financial world and in Venezuela behind. We had a great time
with family and friends reestablishing many of our long lost traditions, like
tequila shots on Christmas Eve. Little did we know, a nuclear size bomb was
about to drop right on our heads.
Trip to LAX right on schedule. Michael Lovelady, Mirna
Peraza’s boyfriend, met us at the airport in his classic Studebaker. Haydee
and Mirna have been friends for what seems to be a lifetime. While she was
married for a time to Ivan, the relationship between Haydee and Mirna really
began to flourish after her relationship with Ivan.
We ate Sushi for dinner at Michael and Mirna’s house.
Michael then proceeded to kick my butt in darts. This will be forever known as
the LA Darts trip.
Trip to Disney was wonderful! A little cold though great
service and rides made it excellent. We went on lots of scary rides including:
œ Matterhorn (twice)
œ Spinning
Saucers
œ Splash Mountain
œ Great
Train Ride
œ Roller
Coaster by Mickey’s house
œ Jungle
Cruise
Met up with my cousin Tommy McBride and went to the LA Science Museum. His wife Jean, who was pregnant, and his son Tyler were also along for the
ride. While they invited us for dinner, things were a bit uncomfortable and we
didn’t stay.
Went to Universal Studios on a cold blustery day. Got there
about noon and had a great time. We took the tour which lead us through the
Earthquake, fake floods, Jaws, etc. We also went “Back to the Future” as well
as to the Animal Maniac’s Show. Ate lunch at Jurassic Park before going on the
ride two times! We got soaking wet and then freezing cold all while having an
excellent time. Finished the day off by going to the Nickelodeon Show.
Michael and I took the girls down to the beach at Palos
Verdes to the Tide Pools. It was wonderful to walk around with the girls and
check out of the sights at the beach.
Stayed at Maya’s last night, went to mom’s in PM and then to Sharon’s in the evening. Saw all the cousins, smoked a cigar and then did some tequila
shots. Went to my dad’s where we did more shots and talked to 5:00 AM.
We did Christmas morning at dad’s house with Rori. Girls had
a great time opening gifts. Went to my mom’s about 2:00 PM and had a wonderful
dinner. David Jones, Carol and company came over as well. We played pool and
shot the breeze.
Kicked back at mom’s and relaxed. Girls played with new
toys, in particular with Nintendo 64 and computer games. I helped Ito set up
surround sound. Munched left over’s all day, played pool, watched the girl’s
ballet and Haydee’s Flamenco video.
Went skiing to Santa Fe with David Jones and his family.
Alicia was a “Brave Piglet” because though she didn’t feel too good, she
toughed it out. The girls took lessons until mid day which gave Haydee and me
a chance to ski with each other and by ourselves. We all skied together in the
afternoon.
New Year’s Eve party at Maya and Allan’s. Had a good time
with Ivan, Linda, Robert, Jennifer, Jackie, Stuart, Jill, Travis, Cody, Hannah,
Isaac (Allan’s dad), his girlfriend, Allan and Maya. Much different atmosphere
from what we are used to in Venezuela. Nonetheless, rang in the New Year with
joy and festivities. Stayed up until about 3:00 AM.
1999 started with a bang! We arrived on January 6th in
the evening and I went back into work on the 7th. A meeting was called for the
entire office at 8:00 AM on Friday, January 8th. In and of itself this was
very unusual since normally there were separate meetings for Financial
Consultants and the rest of the staff.
Immediately, what had previously been rumors in the
hallway became full blown concern for our future as individuals and as an
office in Venezuela. Because of the financial climate worldwide there were
already drastic cuts being made by Merrill Lynch in the domestic and
international offices. In addition, the political climate in Venezuela added an extra ingredient of uncertainty to the mix.
The following morning we all gathered in our beautiful
4th floor meeting room in Parque Cristal. We occupied the entire floor of the
west wing of the building and had fairly recently gone through remodeling. We
had very nicely appointed offices in the best possible location. This “too
good to be true” scenario provided the back drop for the bomb which was about
to drop.
The entire staff was packed into the office and as our
office manager Javier Manrique began to speak, you could hear a pin drop as
murmurs came to a halt and fear began to grip each of our inner beings. Javier
began with the token words stroking his own as well as our egos about how well we
had done as an office. Assets were up, production had steadily increased and
we had strengthened our relationships with clients.
Then as often happens when we are hearing so many good
things about our performance the magical BUT word was dropped to change the
pace of the conversation. As he began with, “Due to worldwide financial
difficulties, the local political situation...,” our eyes glazed over and we
braced for the news to come. “We find ourselves in a situation where we need
reduce the size of the office to about half of its current size.”
As these last words escaped Javier’s mouth there were
expressions of relief, agony and uncertainty as we each began to calculate the
possibilities. Were we going to be in the half which would continue on or in
the half which would be out on the street? Javier continued saying there might
be further changes down the line as this was the first step in what might be
additional changes to come.
Javier told us the affected personnel would be called in
during the course of the day. We cowered out of the office, some laughing
nervously and others panic stricken to do our best to carry on. Some rushed
back to their offices and began immediately making backup copies of client
lists and deleting other information from their computers while others wandered
the halls looking for comfort and explanations.
I had no idea what my own fate would be. While I was
concerned I might fall into the 50% who would be asked to pick up our things
and go, I also realized I formed part of a very productive team within the
office. I felt both José and I were an asset to the office and even more so as
a team than individually. I went back to my office and did my best to carry
on. I had two appointments in the morning and while I explained to both
clients the possibilities, put on my “game face” and handled both as
professionally as I could.
Throughout the morning and between appointments several
of my best friends in the office were called into the “dungeon of terror” to be
given their last rites. One by one they stopped by the office to tell me they
were among the walking dead. As I learned of each new casualty my heart skipped
another beat.
12:00 PM rolled around and the office was like a morgue.
Tears flowed freely in the hallways as people began to pack up their belongings
and head for home. Two weeks’ notice and the opportunity to adjust to the news
is not standard operating procedure in the financial services industry. On the
contrary, once you have been given the “pink slip,” they want you out of there
as soon as possible. It’s quite common, in fact, to have someone accompany you
to your office to make sure you don’t do anything to harm either yourself or
the company.
As I watched many of my colleagues gathering their belongings,
I continued to breathe, though just barely. Around 12:30 PM as I was heading
for the door to get a bite to eat, I was stopped in mid stride by a tap on the
shoulder and a voice which said, “Please come with me.”
My heart stopped as I walked into the inferno which
others had just experienced. “Rob, you have been a valuable asset to the
company,” the conversation started, “Nevertheless, decisions have been made,
the die has been cast and your life is about to change.”
The rest is a blur. I recall tears initially welling up
in my eyes and then drying back up again forced down by the pride and composure
which I wanted to hold. I wanted to walk out with dignity and with my head
high knowing I had performed at my best during my time with Merrill Lynch.
Unlike many of my colleagues, I had made no plans for an
impending exit. I had my client list and phone numbers tucked safely away, a
ritual which any Financial Consultant worth his or her salt does anyway on a
regular basis, and so mine was simply to gather in a few minutes what had taken
me many years to build, objects which represented more than six years of my
life. To gather memories which could not and would not ever fit in a box. To
gather every ounce of pride I could and walk out of the office with my head
high knowing this was not the beginning of the end rather the beginning of
something great.
Somewhere in the midst of my pain that afternoon, I had
the presence of mind to call several individuals who could be influential in my
next step. Among them was Liliana Van Vort who worked for Seligman Financial.
I had spoken to her recently and she mentioned their wholesaler for Latin America had accepted a position with a competing firm by the name of Janus. She told
me a similar meeting to our own in Caracas had also taken place in Merrill
Lynch office in Panama. She had spent the day talking to several of her best
clients within Merrill who no longer had jobs. I asked her about the opening
for a wholesaler and she told me they still hadn’t filled it. She suggested I
put together a resume and send it to her so she could forward it on to the
powers that be. Little did I know at the time this phone call in the midst of
my distress would be a determining factor in the direction my life was about to
take.
As I said my goodbyes to people who had become my family
and my life, the tears once again made their appearance in my eyes as we hugged
and made promises to stick together through thick and thin. Promises many of
us knew could not and would not be kept in spite of our desire to make them
so. Knowing as way leads to way, our own way would lead us away from those who
had formed such an integral part of our lives for so long.
As I hopped in my car and began driving home, the tears
which had been obedient earlier and which had stayed put began to flow from a
damn which finally yielded to the weight of a sadness pressing against its
walls. Then as I drove through blurred vision, I began to think of what I
would tell Haydee and the girls as I saw them. No words came, only a flood of
emotions, fears, uncertainties and doubts which gripped my entire being.
I had never ever in my wildest imagination even dreamed I
would ever be fired or “let go” from a company. As far as I was concerned,
those who were downsized from companies were the lazy, incompetent souls who
never had a chance to begin with. Mine was to soar with the eagles with a
positive attitude knowing the world would be mine as long as I established
goals and objectives and worked tirelessly towards my end. Now in the depths
of my soul, I knew even though I had remained positive and upbeat throughout,
there is no one who is indispensable within any organization.
I opened the door to my home and walked in. Haydee,
Alicia and Chantalle came to greet me. They immediately saw the anguish in my
face and began to cry as did I. Through sobs and tears I told them I no longer
had a job. We remained huddled, feeling each others’ pain and yet remaining
bound as a family for what seemed like hours.
I was in a stupor and I wallowed in self pity. Playing
the victim and wondering why this happened to me. As I spun in a downward spiral
all I could think about is how foolish I had been not to see the writing on the
walls. Why hadn’t I taken precautionary measures? Why hadn’t I started
looking for a job previously? Why hadn’t I prepared my clients for what was to
come?
These and many other questions plagued me. I know my
concern in turn worried Haydee and the girls as I moped around the house. Misery
loves company and I was determined to have lots of it! Haydee’s family, who
had also become my own family and support system, came to comfort me. They
were all very kind. They told me how proud of me they were. How I was one of
the smartest and most prepared people they knew. While I was later able to
appreciate what they told me, at the time it was like water hitting oil slicked
pavement. Their words rolled right off of me.
The first Monday of the rest of my life. Last Friday cost
reductions at Merrill Lynch hit me in a very direct way and I was laid off. I
somehow thought it would never happen to me even though the writing was on the
wall. I suppose since I felt I was a hard worker and always kept a positive
attitude, I would somehow be immune from a layoff. Oops!
Friday was like a morgue in the office. More than 20 people
out of a job. As near as I can figure, the office has reduced in size by about
50% since its high point. 17 Financial Consultants remain from what was once
35 or 36. When the news came, it hit me like a bomb. I always felt if the
time did come, it wouldn’t be a big deal. It felt a lot different when it
actually happened than I thought it might.
I was pretty down all day Friday. Coming home and facing my
family was perhaps the hardest thing I have ever had to do. By Saturday mid
day though I was back up again. I had spoken to my parents and, in particular,
my mom gave me some excellent advice. I decided 24 hours was all I really
needed to be down.
Now I believe this is, in fact, a tremendous opportunity.
The truth of the matter is I was not really totally satisfied with what I was
doing. This has already, in the short time since it has happened, made me
realize several things.
The most important is I think it is time to make a change.
It is a little scary and I am not sure how it will turn out. One thing for
sure is that it is a challenge and I love challenges.
I love public speaking and being up in front of an audience.
Now I need to figure out a way to make this profitable. I am not exactly sure
how I am going to do it though I have some excellent ideas and that is all I
need.
I had awakened and smelled the roses. We all need a time
to grieve at certain times in our lives. Sometimes this period of grief is
long and sometimes it’s short. In all cases we can decide exactly how long the
grief will last. In this case, I decided 24 hours was more than enough. Now
it was time to move and shake. My main challenge was I didn’t know where I
should move or how I should shake!
There were two specific points in my life when I had
become “burned out” on what I was doing as a Financial Consultant. One of the
times was in 1992 before I moved to Venezuela and the other in 1998 in the
midst of the financial turmoil the world was experiencing. In both cases, I
heard myself answering the same questions from the same type of clients. My
responses seemed rehearsed and without enthusiasm.
I thought back to something I heard years before about a
performer, I believe it was Julie Andrews, who played Peter Pan on stage. Someone
once remarked to her after the play, “When you said, ‘I can fly!’ it sounded as
if you really meant it and as if you said it for the very first time. How can
you keep the same level of enthusiasm?”
She replied simply, “For each member in the audience, it
is the first time!” I had lost my enthusiasm and as a result, instead of
flying with the eagles, I felt at times I was bumbling with the bozos. I
needed to find something which would once again light my fire.
News travels fast in any community and the financial
community in Venezuela found out quickly there was a lot of money in the street
which was up for grabs. Several of my colleagues had already cut a deal with
Stanford Financial and, in addition, other smaller brokerage firms in Caracas were actively seeking to snag those who had left Merrill Lynch. While the majority
of assets Financial Consultants manage generally stay with the firm they worked
with previously, there is always a percentage of clients who will follow the
individual regardless of where they choose to hang their hat.
My immediate response was I didn’t want to continue being
a Financial Consultant with any firm. Fourteen years and a kick in the rear to
move me out the door was enough. Nevertheless, I wanted to cover my bases just
in case. My first order of business was to call my clients and let them know
what happened. While I didn’t think I would be calling them later to solicit
their business, I wanted to leave the door open, just in case.
I wrote out a script which didn’t slam Merrill Lynch and
which simply informed them of what had happened. I preferred to be the person
to tell them I was no longer with the firm rather than someone else. The
responses I received were tremendous and very comforting. With few exceptions,
my clients were very supportive of me and told me they wanted to know where I
went and what I decided to do. Many told me they would follow me and open
accounts if I chose to stay in the business.
One week has passed since D-Day at Merrill Lynch. My
thoughts are starting to crystallize and I believe my direction is getting
clearer.
I received a call from Carlos Peyer, who used to work at
Merrill Lynch in Caracas and now works with Prudential Securities in Miami. He said he was pretty sure I could get a position with them though I’m not sure I
really want to do that!
One of the things I have thought a lot about is the fact that
I was with Merrill Lynch for 6 years. During that time I busted my butt to get
clients and establish a portfolio. I thought somehow all the work I had put in
meant what I had attained would always be mine and couldn’t be taken away from
me. Then boom! From one day to the next it is gone. To be sure there are a
certain percentage of those clients I could take with me to another firm. What
I really don’t want though is to have the same thing happen in another five to
ten years.
The one thing that cannot be taken away from me is the
relationship I have with my clients. I have taken this week to call those with
whom I have the best and closest relationships. The response has been
outstanding! They are shocked at what has happened. More important than that
is they are very willing to help me out in whatever way they can. That means a
lot to me! This, I believe, will be of tremendous help as I network for
business down the line.
I still need to define exactly how I will explain what I do.
I have been thinking about corporate training and development though I think it
is much more than that. I need to put my thinking cap on and come up with an
exact definition for what it is I will be doing. One of my contacts next week
will be with David Charner who runs a business similar to what I would like to
do.
In the mean time, I have also followed up on another lead to
become a mutual fund wholesaler with Seligman Advisors. I believe this could
be a good middle road for what I am thinking of doing. It will give me the
opportunity to get up in front of groups and sell. I will still be in
financial services which is what I know. I will also continue to sell not only
to their existing clients but also working on establishing new sales agreements
through banks and brokerages throughout Latin America. I believe it could be a
very challenging position which also allows me to do the kinds of things I am
looking for while establishing a base and building for the future. I’ll keep
you posted…
In the meantime, as a part of our severance package, DBM
International had been retained to provide outplacement services for those of
us who had been “severed.” While I had done a quick update of my resume and
sent it on to Seligman International, there was nothing for sure in the deal
and I’m not one to kick a gift horse in the mouth. The only Financial
Consultants who decided to take part in the outplacement were me and Ricardo
Parra. While we knew each other on a casual basis before, we became good
friends as we both searched for new beginnings.
The other financial consultants who did not take part in
the program had a variety of reasons. Some already had jobs lined up while
others were so upset with Merrill Lynch they wanted nothing to do with them.
In particular, a couple of my friends could not even hear the name Merrill
Lynch without flying into fits of rage. They really didn’t understand the
decision and felt they were in a way betrayed. I came to understand it was a
business decision and really had nothing to do with me.
A great deal of the benefit which I derived from DBM and
Andreina Villar, who was our consultant, related to defining what I really
wanted to do in life. Public speaking kept coming to the head of the list in
several different ways. At the same time, I wasn’t exactly sure how to go about
being a public speaker. While I knew I liked the energy and adrenalin which
coursed through my veins as I spoke to people, I didn’t know how to take the
first step. I explored many opportunities and looked at several different
options.
This was a time of deep reflection for me and what was
happening in my life. I had spent 14 years of my life as a Financial
Consultant and now had an opportunity to do something else. From a financial
perspective I was much more comfortable than I had been when I first set foot
in Venezuela and I had doors which would open to me if I had the courage to
knock.
The last two weeks have been somewhat tumultuous for my
brain. The decision on whether or not to start my own public speaking business
has been weighing on my mind.
I have gone through periods when I have been sure it is the
direction I want to take and then through others where I think I am crazy to
take on such a venture. I have come to the conclusion the answer lies
somewhere in between.
I am convinced now I need to have a job in order to provide
income stability. With Alicia and Chanty now 10 and almost 9 respectively, I
need to make sure I am financially prepared to take care of their educational
costs and also to pay off my apartment. In addition, I would like to be in a
position to purchase another residence down the line.
At the time my public speaking needs can be fulfilled through
Toastmasters and also by taking on Public Speaking engagements elsewhere.
Options here in Venezuela include doing training for IESA (Graduate School), CIED (Corporate Training) and possibly for Covey Group or English Resource Center which is run by David Charner.
In the end, I figured out what I really want to do is to
speak and motivate people. To realize this dream I don’t necessarily need to
have my own company. I especially don’t think I want to have all the problems
with logistics and preparation for meetings, including the place, the coffee,
the food, etc.
I want to pursue the opportunity with Seligman and if that
doesn’t go through, go full ahead 100% contacting other mutual fund companies
to market their products in Latin America.
I kept in close touch with Liliana Van Vort and
Seligman. The opportunity seemed to incorporate many of the things I was
looking for while eliminating things I didn’t want. With regards to the things
I wanted, it was in Latin America, had a lot to do with speaking to people and
to groups. In addition, it took me away from day to day contact of managing
individual clients and focused more on the big picture of managing relations
with investment firms and investment professionals.
On February 10, 1999, I had a video conference interview
with Seligman. While there were a couple of technical difficulties, I was
prepared and felt I had done very well in the interview. I had rehearsed
previously and was confident in my ability to be a productive member of their
team.
It took a while for me to get feedback from this initial
interview and this was my first indication that while Seligman doesn’t move
very fast, they sure are slow! In time, however, they did get back with me and
sent me an invitation to fly to New York for a second interview on March 2nd.
Comments for my practice interview videotaped at home:
œ Use
voice modulation
œ Don’t
be so monotone
œ Watch
out for my lazy eye and too much eye blinking
œ More
energy
œ More
motivation
œ Good
use of hands, utilize to emphasize specific points
œ Be
passionate
œ Be
confident
œ Make
sure to direct questions towards benefit to company
œ Smile
œ Don’t
lean to side
I arrived in New York and was met at the airport to be
whisked away to the Kitano hotel. I met with Liliana in the late afternoon and
she filled me in about the people to whom I would be speaking. In addition,
she gave me an idea on the competition for the position. I walked to the
offices of Seligman the following morning and as I strode through the hustle
and bustle of New York, I realized the opportunities available to me with
Seligman or elsewhere were limitless. New York has always inspired me to look
beyond my own frontiers and this time the effect was particularly dramatic.
At Seligman I was immediately impressed with the austere,
serious nature of the office. This contrasted greatly with what I had become
accustomed to in Merrill Lynch, Caracas. Latin people in general are much
friendlier and certainly more disposed to smile and laugh while they work. As
I sat and observed people while waiting to be called in, I was somewhat taken
aback by the cold, matter of fact approach of the people. At the same time, I
was on a mission. My mission was to get an offer. After I got the offer, I
could do as I pleased.
The first person to whom I spoke was Nick Martino. He
was a happy go lucky type of guy and represented the Human Resource side of the
equation. I felt the interview with him went well. It was more informational
than anything. He primarily wanted to know what questions I had, though I was
aware he was also watching my every move.
Next I met with Steve Hodgdon, a Managing Director, who
was to be my ultimate “commander and chief,” though there would be another
person to whom I would report directly. Steve was soft spoken and at the same
time intense. He had an easy smile and was prone to use some humor, though his
style was matter of fact and very direct. I felt at ease in the interview and
was pleased with how it had gone and with my responses to his questions.
Next came Brian Zino, who, while not in my direct line of
command, was also Managing Director and very influential within the company.
While my meeting with Steve was oriented almost entirely toward the business
side of things, Brian was more focused on me as a person. We found common
ground in skiing and, though brief, I felt the interview was effective and I
had done a good job. I had lunch with them later in one of the “private dining
rooms” and was given a tour of the office.
The office exuded a conservative, old line aura. For
anyone who visited the office, the Company portrayed a very serious firm who
would do nothing foolish with investors’ money. Thick wood paneling was
evident wherever clients might wander within the office. Lunch was served by
waiters who had been well trained to do their job and stay out of the way.
Conversations were hushed and the image of control and austerity permeated the
environment.
After the meetings I was once again whisked off to the
airport by a driver in a nice big Lincoln Town Car. While the environment
struck me as perhaps a little too cold and a little too serious, I must admit I
liked the special attention and all the indications of a firm who was not
afraid to spend money to treat its clients right. As I flew back to Caracas I felt positive about my prospects for getting an offer and began to play the
waiting game.
If nothing else, with Seligman, I got great at the wait!
The old line seriousness of their offices was reflected as well in their
cautious approach to making decisions. I followed up on the interview and kept
in touch with Liliana, who was my ally within the fortress. She kept telling
me to be patient. My direct boss, Rick Potocki, was doing a lot of traveling
and they all had to sit down to make a decision. So I waited, and waited, and
waited…
On March 18th an indication of interest came back and
Nick Martino asked me if I would be willing to relocate to Buenos Aires.
Apparently there was some damage control to be done and most of the damage was
down south in Buenos Aires. I indicated I was interested and Nick told me
Steve Hodgdon and/or Rick Potocki would be back in touch with me.
On March 22nd, I received an offer to work with Seligman
as Vice President / Marketing Director for Latin America. While the initial
offer was quite satisfactory, there was still some negotiation to be done. The
salary and guaranteed bonus more than doubled my previous income with Merrill
Lynch. Part of the package was relocation costs to Buenos Aires and it was on
this front where most of the negotiation took place.
In the end, Seligman agreed to pay my costs of
relocation, the cost of renting a home in Buenos Aires, tuition for the girls’
school and a very liberal travel and expense account. After some back and
forth on contracts I was set to go. My first official day of work with
Seligman International was April 15th.
We arranged to move as a family to Buenos Aires after the
girls got out of school in July 1999. In the meantime, I was beginning to get
a taste of the type of travel which would be a part of my job for the next three
years.
My job entailed setting up an office in Buenos Aires and
providing sales and support for all of our dealers throughout Latin America.
My first order of business was to go to New York and finalize all the details pertinent
to my employment. I flew out of Caracas on April 18th and spent the week
learning more about Seligman and going through all the paperwork which made me
official. In addition, since I was to be opening a new office for Seligman in Buenos Aires, there were series of power of attorneys and other legal documents which
needed to be executed.
I met Rick Potocki, my immediate boss, for the first time
in person. I had seen him during my first video interview and talked to him by
phone several times; this was our first face to face meeting. My initial
impressions of him were very positive. He had a quick smile, a sharp wit and a
keen business mind. We had several areas of common interest and, in general,
hit it off pretty good from the beginning.
I also met several of the portfolio managers and support
staff who would be the key to my success thousands of miles away in Argentina. I was immediately struck with the “high society” lifestyle which the upper
echelons of Seligman lived. They were into fine food, good wines and expensive
cigars. Money was no object and we went first class everywhere we went. Limos
picked us up and shuttled us about. Maitre D’s whisked us off to the best
tables and we were treated like royalty. While this was all new to me, it took
me little time to adjust to these luxuries.
While there were several things about Seligman which
would ultimately drive me crazy, like the extremely slow decision making
process, they did not skimp when it came to treating clients right. They
understood how important it was to make the client feel good and they had the
proper mechanism in place to assure their clients were treated to the finer
things in life.
For the World Cup in 1998 Seligman took the highest
producers on a trip to France, which included all the goodies such as the best
accommodations, the finest restaurants and, of course, the best tickets to the
most important games. Clients came to expect this kind of treatment from
Seligman and while many of these luxuries were provided by Rick Potocki’s
predecessor, whose name was Richard Garland, we did our best to provide similar
treatment to our clients.
As I would soon find out, no matter how well you treat
your clients, in the end there is only one thing which matters. The one thing
which will make or break you in a financial services firm is performance. Poor
performance on the funds which were pushed the hardest would be my nemesis in
the years to come.
One particular scary moment was when I called home to
check to see how everything was going. I called home and didn’t get an answer
so I called Haydee on her cellular phone. Chanty picked up the phone and was
crying hysterically. I asked what was wrong and she said, “Mommy says she’s
going to die!” Just as she said those words, I was disconnected. I was scared
out of my mind! I called back and was unable to get through. I kept getting
the answering machine and was getting more and more frantic by the minute. I
was finally able to get a hold of Haydee’s cousin, Guillermo, and he told me he
would find out what was going on. After about 45 minutes, I found out Haydee
had fainted, had a severe asthma attack and was in the hospital. I got a hold
of my friend, Dr. Marcos Levy, and was finally able to determine Haydee was all
right, though she needed to have her gall bladder removed. While it wasn’t an
emergency, it should be taken care of as soon as possible.
I flew back to Caracas on Friday the 23rd, reconnected
with my family and the urgent situation Haydee had gone through. I was off the
next week to Argentina to see for the first time where we would be spending the
next years of our lives. I had agreed to move to Buenos Aires without ever
setting foot in the country! While I had spoken to many people I knew, several
who lived or had lived in Buenos Aires, I had yet to visit the city famous for
Tango, fine wine and late nights.
I was very pleased with all I saw and heard. From the
Remise (Taxi) drivers at the airports to the waiters and hotel wait staff, I
was most impressed by the professionalism of the people in general. Perhaps
the only exception was a rather frosty reception at Merrill Lynch in Buenos Aires. Though I can’t say I blame them. They weren’t happy because the same mutual
fund which was responsible for many of them spending several fine days at the
World Cup in France was now giving them headaches with their clients.
The Argentinean people, in general, have a reputation
throughout Latin America as being egotistical and “full of themselves.” While
I met many Argentines on this first trip and throughout my years in Buenos Aires who were genuinely fine, humble and hard-working people, I also found there
was something to be said for the reputation they had earned.
The following week I was off to Panama to meet clients
and host a cocktail party with our Chief Investment Analyst, Chuck Kadlec, who
was also at the time rolling out his new book, Dow 100,000 Fact of Fiction.
Then I was back to Caracas for Chantalle’s Primera Comunion on the 8th of May.
After spending almost exactly 24 hours at home and having
perhaps just a little bit too much fun at Chantalle’s party, a feat for which I
am still endlessly teased, I was whisked off to the airport to hop on a plane
for Sao Paulo, Brazil. Much to my chagrin, when I got to the airport, I didn’t
have my credit cards! For many years I have kept a list of things to take when
I travel. On this particular day, wallet and credit cards were placed on the
list!
Sunday and Monday were spent in Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro. My first stay in Brazil, while brief, was very impressive. It was, and
continues to be, one of my favorite places in Latin America. On Tuesday I was
in Montevideo, Uruguay; on Wednesday, in Santiago, Chile; on Thursday and
Friday I was back in Buenos Aires; and on Saturday I returned home.
In one and a half weeks I had been in six different
countries and seven different cities. This type of travel was to become the
rule, rather than the exception, for the next three years. The travel while
exhilarating was also extremely exhausting. The best part of these initial
trips was meeting each of the Financial Consultants in the different offices.
Our biggest client in Latin America was Merrill Lynch, which made going to each
of the offices somewhat of a homecoming.
With a rush from airport to airport and office to office
my career as Marketing Director for Seligman International was underway. While
there were many things to learn and a lot of new territory to cover, I was
nonetheless in familiar territory. Though each of the offices had its own
personality and staff, they were all somewhat similar to what I had experienced
over the previous 14 years as a Financial Consultant.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, Haydee and the girls were
gearing up emotionally and physically for a big move. Initially, they weren’t
terribly excited about the move. Haydee is in contact daily with various
members of her family and she was starting to stress about being, once again,
in another country. The girls were cautiously optimistic. While they were
going to miss their friends they were excited about the prospect of leaving.
Haydee and I went to Buenos Aires in June to do some
scouting around. Seligman had hired a company to do the house and school
search with us. By the time we arrived we were pretty well in their hands as
far as our alternatives. We saw several homes in different areas and went to a
couple of different schools. The houses varied from all right to fabulous.
The school we liked the most was St George’s which was
located in a “Barrio Cerrado” (gated community) called San Jorge. The moment
we drove into the place we were in love. While it was somewhat far from where
I would be working, it was wonderful. Once you drove through the gates of the
urbanization it was like being in a pleasure bubble. The houses were all very
nice. Even though it was winter and somewhat cold, there was a lot of greenery
and a general peace emanated everywhere.
We went to several houses within the “country” of San
Jorge and the one we liked the most was brand new. It was a little more
expensive than we were thinking about, $5,000 per month, I felt, however, I
might be able to sway Seligman into giving thumbs up since the majority of the
places we saw were similar in price. In addition, the school was a bit less
expensive than the “American” school, which Haydee didn’t like at all. We left
Buenos Aires with a pretty good idea of what we wanted and were hoping we
would be able to get the house we really liked.
We took pictures of the places we liked the most and
headed back to Caracas and made preparations to leave. Moving from one side of
town to the other generally involves a great deal of planning. Moving from one
country to another intensifies the entire process. Fortunately, this time
around I had a company, which was footing the bill rather than me, as had been
the case when we moved from USA to Venezuela. This made things a heck of a lot
easier. We had people hired to move and relocate us, someone who was hired to
take care of all legal issues involving visas, and a support system which paid
for it all!
I am with Seligman and I see what I thought about five months
ago has come to pass. One more time the power of the mind never ceases to
amaze me.
I started to work with J.W. Seligman on April 15, 1999. It
was a long time coming but I finally got the job. As it turns out, the first
call I made when I was laid off was to Liliana Van Vort of Seligman on the very
same day of D-Day! They made me an attractive offer and here I am.
Oh yeah, by the way, accepting the job means moving to Buenos Aires , Argentina. Since I was hired, I have been to Bs. As. five times. It truly
is a beautiful city. Haydee has been there twice and the girls once. We have
a place to live and have already found a wonderful school for our girls. The
big date for the move is coming soon. The movers come on August 2nd and we
leave on August 7th.
Haydee and I have lived for 7 years in Denver and now 7 years
in Caracas. Must be the 7 year itch!
When August rolled around, we decided it would be great
for Guillermo and his family to accompany us on our initial trip. Guillermo is
married to Haydee’s cousin Mirtha, who is also Haydee’s best friend. While all
of Haydee’s family welcomed me with open arms to Venezuela, Guillermo and
Mirtha, in particular, have been the ones who have provided the most support.
Through thick and thin they have always been there. So, it only seemed natural
they help us settle into our new home.
With our boxes safely tucked away with the movers and a
ton of luggage tagging along behind us, we headed to the airport. When we got
to Buenos Aires, we hopped into a “combi,” which is a little van type of vehicle
and headed to our new home. We were in the middle of winter in Buenos Aires and while it never snows, with the humidity it can get pretty darn cold. We
bundled up and braved the cold to step into our new home as residents. We had
decided to rent some furniture and dishes until our move arrived. Nevertheless,
when we walked into our new digs it was pretty barren.
We looked in the cupboards, which to no surprise, were
empty so we headed to the cafeteria which was part of the club within San
Jorge. This was one of our first indications of “sticker shock” regarding
prices. When we arrived in Argentina, the Peso was pegged to the dollar. So
one dollar was one peso. While this sounds fine and dandy, the problem was it
wasn’t reality and items in many cases cost far more than they would have cost
in dollars. If I’m not mistaken, the first breakfast we had in Argentina, which consisted of coffee and croissants, came to something like $70 or $80.
There were of course 8 of us. When we translated the amount to Venezuelan
Bolivars we figured we could have eaten at a very fine restaurant in Caracas for the same amount of money.
As has become my custom when arriving in a strange land,
my first order of business is getting a vehicle. While my own transportation
to and from Buenos Aires was pretty easy because there was a “combi” which
passed right by our home and made things very easy, I knew we would need a
vehicle. Haydee and I both liked mini vans so we went down to the local
Chrysler dealer and chose a Caravan for which we paid cash. After a few days
to catch my breath, I was once again on the road in the never-ending search for
more clients and assets.
The rest of 1998 was spent holding the hands of my
clients who had purchased the Seligman High Yield fund and doing a half-hearted
attempt to interest them in our newest offering, The New Technologies Venture
fund. It wasn’t a full blown sales job on my part because, while technology
was flying high during this particular time, I wasn’t totally convinced it was
the “right” time and, more importantly, I was doing some major damage control.
My predecessors had sold the High Yield Fund in a big
way. The fund manager, Dan Charleston, had done a terrific job during his
career managing high yield bonds, also known as “junk,” bonds. As often
happens when things seem too good to be true, the tables turned in the high
yield market. Dan had a couple of positions underwater which brought fund
performance down on a relative and absolute basis with regards to our peers and
the market respectively. In short, we were losing money for our clients.
In the financial services business it is often “ok” to
lose money as long as you are losing less money than your competitors and the
index. In this particular case we were not only losing money, we were also
losing more money than the index and our competitors. It is precisely during
this type of situation when clients and investors get hostile. As the
Marketing Director, a great deal of the hostility was directed to me!
I focused on building the relation with our best clients
and this eventually helped, as people generally understand we are doing the
best we can. In other cases, it didn’t matter what I said or what explanation
the fund manager gave, there were certain individuals who wanted nothing to do
with me or Seligman. My typical modus operandi was to call clients and set
meetings with them before traveling. I would talk to them and arrange either
to meet in the office or to have lunch or dinner with them. While this worked
with many clients, there were others who simply didn’t want to talk to me or
who would say, “Drop by when you are here and if I have time, I’ll talk to
you.” The latter were actually more frustrating than those who didn’t want to
talk to me because with them I would spend the better part of a day cruising by
their office to, “see if they had time.”
The other challenge, which I faced initially, was to set
up an office. I chose an office in Laminar Plaza with a company called Regis.
They offered the entire infrastructure including a reception, copiers, a fax
and so forth. We rented space from them and they charged us monthly for all of
the services we used. While the situation in general ran pretty smoothly,
there were many details which seemed to take on a life of their own. Since we
were operating as a branch in Argentina, there were a number of legalities with
which I had to deal, including, but not limited to, tax reporting, labor laws
and accounting.
While it was a tremendous learning experience, it was
also very demanding. One of my biggest challenges has always been to
effectively delegate tasks. In retrospect, I should have hired someone to help
with many of the administrative issues, which would have freed up my time to
deal with clients. Liliana was still in the picture and she helped me
coordinate sales and marketing efforts from New York. While we didn’t always
see eye to eye on everything, I feel we were able to work pretty well
together. She knew the clients and, in particular, during my first few trips
she accompanied me to make introductions.
Haydee and the girls got into the groove of things pretty
quickly. The school was about a block away and the general mode of
transportation for kids in the “country” was their bicycles. The girls made
friends easily and Alicia had her first “boyfriend” whose name was Lautaro.
The school was quite different from the Catholic Girls School they were used to
and they adjusted quickly. This school was focused on diverse areas of
learning and Alicia and Chanty were exposed to much more in terms of arts and music
than they had been in Venezuela.
As for Haydee, she was taken in immediately by the ladies
in San Jorge. Her infectious laugh and terrific attitude spread like
wildfire. Life in the “bubble of joy” for a non-working spouse was pretty
good. Mornings were spent on activities such as exercise, art history classes,
candle making, and the like, while afternoons were chock full of tea parties
and wine tasting. Haydee quickly adjusted to the good life and was a happy
camper.
One of the promises I made to Haydee when we left Caracas was to spend Christmas in Venezuela. So as 1999 came to a close, we checked our
passports, made reservations and got ready to leave the sun and fun of summer
in Argentina for an incredibly wild situation which was brewing in Venezuela.
While I have always claimed, “There is never a dull
moment in Venezuela,” this was a particularly turbulent time. People argued as
to whether or not the millennia was changing, the change in dates from the
1900’s to the 2000’s had many extremely worried about the implications of
“Y2K.” We were just excited to be in Venezuela with family over the holidays,
which, as I have mentioned before, is always a lot of fun.
Just before we left for Venezuela there were two things
which happened assuring an eventful trip. Chantalle got Chicken Pox and it
began to rain in Venezuela. After it rained, it rained some more and then some
more before raining some more. The result of the rain was huge landslides,
which took out massive areas of land. The entire coastal area close to Caracas was affected, including the airport. The landslide completely wiped out several
towns and thousands died. Estimates later placed the number of people who died
at about 50,000, though an exact count will never be known! Many were homeless
and still more couldn’t locate loved ones dead or alive.
In the midst of this situation, we began looking for
alternatives to get to Venezuela. Haydee told me a promise was a promise and
she was still bound and determined to spend Christmas and the New Year with
family in Venezuela. We finally found a way around the closed airport in
Maiquetía on the coast. The solution was to fly first to Aruba and then fly to
Valencia, a city located about two hours drive from Caracas. Our next challenge
was what to do with poor Chanty, who by this time was “very bumpy.” We bundled
her up and did our best to keep her covered and away from people. While we got
a few strange looks, we made it safely to Aruba where we stayed one night
before heading to Venezuela the following day.
We arrived to complete chaos and pandemonium in Venezuela. Even in Caracas there were parking garages completely inundated with mud. Many
cities were completely cut off from the rest of civilization and the mood was
one of death and tragedy. News was dominated by people telling stories of
family members who had been whisked away by the slides. Some lucky survivors
spoke of how they had managed to stay alive in the most difficult of
circumstance. The country buckled down and did its best to handle the
situation and there was a lot of criticism about how the situation was
handled. Nevertheless, many stepped up to the plate to begin rescue efforts
and provide for those most in need. It is often said it takes tragedy to bring
out the best in people and this certainly was the case as 1999 came to a close
in Venezuela.
We put on our game faces on for New Year’s Eve and went
to our cousin Norita’s home where she and her husband Dante put on a big
shindig to ring in 2000. With fireworks blazing in the background, whiskey
flowing freely and an ever-increasing number of kids running around, we bid
farewell to 1999 and said hello to 2000!
During the first week of each year Seligman holds
meetings in New York to get the year going. While I was used to kicking into
gear somewhere around the middle of January, I decided to go anyway just to
make them happy!
It was the first time I met many of the people within
Seligman and it was a time to see and be seen. The meetings were focused
greatly on Seligman’s domestic business within the United States. It dawned on
me the way wholesalers, the more common name for my job in the United States, do business was much different from what we were used to internationally.
The domestic wholesaler for Seligman typically had a territory which might
include several states and typically several cities. Often they would hop in
their car on Monday and visit different clients in their territory before
heading back home on Thursday or Friday. While there were many extremely nice
and very professional people, when I looked at what they did, it certainly
wasn’t my idea of fun.
In addition to the meetings with domestic people, we
stayed on for a few days and talked about the issues we faced in our
international offices. One of the people I met and liked a lot during these
meetings was Joe Lam, our representative in Asia. He was a very hard working,
down to earth type of guy. I enjoyed his company and his sense of humor
tremendously.
During these trips we also had an opportunity to meet
many of the people who supported us while we were at the far ends of the
universe. Vilmarie Salazar was one of the people who helped tremendously,
along with Tim Terrell and, in my case, Liliana Van Vort. We typically got
together to go to lunch and dinner as well as have business meetings. As was
typical, Seligman was generous in the travel and entertainment part of the
business and, as a result, we had a terrific time.
One of the moments which indicated I might not want to be
associated with Seligman for an extended period of time occurred during this,
my first year beginning meeting. When I was hired, I was given a salary and a
guaranteed year end bonus. While this was fine for my first year, I was looking
forward to an incentive for the upcoming year. My compensation since beginning
my professional career had been strictly commission. While this means of
compensation was initially challenging, I came to love the idea of being in
charge of my own destiny and pay.
When I asked about the terms of my bonus for 2000, I was
told it would be the same as the previous year. I shook my head to make sure I
had no cobwebs in my ears and I was hearing correctly. I asked, “Let me make
sure I understand. If I sell a lot or if I sell a little, I will be paid the
same amount of money?” The answer came back, “Yes, that is exactly what we
mean.”
Though the amount of money was abundant, it was now clear
what my pay would be for the coming year and it was completely demoralizing. I
have always been driven by a goal, something to aim for and surpass. The fact
I would earn no more or no less than a certain amount of money was the ultimate
downer for me since I had been compensated for the past 15 years of my life based
on performance. For some reason it didn’t matter I was making more money than
I had often dreamed of, it was the fact there was no more available which irked
me! While I was told the following year there might be a change in the terms
of my compensation, I was pretty well stuck with what I had for the time
being. Fortunately, I was stuck with a pretty handsome salary which included
benefits which covered the lion’s share of my living expenses.
After the meeting, it was back to Buenos Aires to
strategize and plan for the coming year. Much of 2000 was a blur of travel
throughout Latin America on what were often wild whistle stop tours with
portfolio managers, often visiting a different country daily.
While at home in Buenos Aires, we had an excellent network
of friends, most were also ex-pats in a strange land looking to have a good
time, as were we. Inside San Jorge Village we got together on the weekends to
party. Often the festivities would last well into the early morning hours.
Almost a year has come and gone since I dusted off this book
and decided to write a few lines.
Seligman has brought challenges and excitement I never
thought about just over a year ago. Travel to faraway places and new skills
which are developing as time marches on.
While the change has been good, it has also been frustrating
at times. Building relationships and establishing a common ground has been my
greatest challenge to date. As time goes on, however, things become a little
bit more comfortable and things start to flow more smoothly.
The most challenging office to date has been the Merrill
Lynch office in Buenos Aires. They don’t respond as well as some of the other
offices do. There are definitely great cultural differences. While the
experience has been frustrating at times, it has also started to become
rewarding as well. In the past several weeks, I have come to realize it is not
me they are reacting negatively towards but rather it is the way they normally
act. They are not hostile; they are indifferent. I believe the reason they
behave like this is because they are so inundated with visitors and products
that to them I am just another one in the crowd. This is my challenge and this
is what I must change in order to be successful in the office.
I have taken strides to that end and a recent trip with our
Chief Financial Strategist, Chuck Kadlec, has been instrumental in setting the
tone for the type of relationship I would like to have with the financial
consultants. I want them to see me as a partner and a consultant who will give
them ideas to improve and enhance their business. I want to get to the point
to where they look forward to see me not as someone trying to sell them
something, rather as someone to give ideas and guidance which serve as an
integral part of their overall sales strategy.
I am formulating the plan which will allow me to establish
myself in that role as partner and advisor to their business.
One of the most memorable events during this time was my
birthday party. Haydee decided it would be a good idea to have a party to get
together with friends we already had and meet new friends. She carefully
planned everything for a surprise party and had a couple of my buddies take me
for a drink after I got home from work to allow her more time to get
everything ready. As I drove up to our home, I saw the road lined with cars
and instantly figured something was going on. Sure enough, as I walked in
there was a huge party waiting for me.
Haydee had hired people to provide food, music and
entertainment. They were excellent! They catered to all tastes musically and
otherwise. They led games and kept us entertained. Liquor flowed freely and
somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, our friend Joe Dyer began to lead us
into some drinking games. The evening ended with all of us singing and having
a great old time.
During this time I met Bob Schoenfield who became my best
friend in Argentina and who continues to be my wonderful friend today. He and
I had a lot of things in common and we got together whenever we could. He and
his wife Danielle lived about a half a block away which was very convenient.
We both loved all kinds of sports. If we weren’t playing tennis, we were
tooling around on our bikes or finding something else to do. In addition, we
both traveled quite a bit so we were able to hook up several times in different
places, most notably in Brazil.
In terms of work, I broke territory down by clients and
country. Our biggest producing client by far was Merrill Lynch. As such, we
had a basic strategy to deal with them in each geographic region. Then we had
smaller players who were certainly no less important in the big picture and whom
we would contact as often as possible. Last, but not least, was our activity in
opening new distribution agreements with banks and brokerage firms.
I had the tremendous opportunity and privilege to work
with quality individuals throughout Latin America. I consider the
relationships I built during my time with Seligman as my most important
achievement. Typically, the successful Financial Consultant came from the
upper echelons of society and is very well connected. They knew the right
places to go, the right people to see and the right things to say to open
doors.
Argentina
My most challenging city was, without a doubt, Buenos Aires. My most challenging office was Merrill Lynch Buenos Aires. While people
from the United States were, in general, looked upon very favorably in Venezuela, things were somewhat different down south. Argentina has a rich history which
links it more directly with Europe than with the United States. Geographically
they are distant from everything. For example, I was surprised to learn the
distance from Caracas to New York is much closer than Caracas to Buenos Aires. As a result, someone from the United States is just another foreigner.
When I arrived into town, I was just another salesman
pushing his wares and, in this case, representing a company which had caused
them considerable heart break because of poor performance. Many of the
Financial Consultants in Merrill Lynch Buenos Aires were among the top
producers for the firm worldwide. They were good and they knew they knew it!
While some were very direct and wanted answers, others simply ignored me and
chose to deal with other companies. Even with the somewhat cold standoffish
demeanor of many, I came to respect and like many of the people in the office.
Among those who I truly liked were Enrique Pochat, Horacio Maschwitz, Pancho
Dolan, Santiago González Alzaga, Nestor Priedikman, Jan Stachnik, Ignacio
Liprandi, Arthur Perry, Alejandro Matheu, Mohamed Zaki and Francis
Verstraeten.
Other firms we worked with in Buenos Aires were initially
lukewarm to my presence and later warmed up both on a professional and personal
basis. The Prudential office, which later became Wachovia Bank, gave me good
support and access once they got to know me. Their office layout was quite
different than Merrill Lynch. They were all in a “bullpen” shoulder to
shoulder, rocking and rolling. When it came time to talk to clients, they went
to offices which were designed specifically for meetings. In Prudential Buenos Aires I respected on a professional and personal level Mercedes Rigou, Jaime Llambi,
Alejandro Wabnik, Charlie Bell and Juan Lartirigoyen.
Uruguay
Across the river in Uruguay the tone was very different!
While the same concerns about performance bothered my clients, they had a much
more laid back approach to life and business. In addition, they were as a group
much easier to get along with. I enjoyed going to Montevideo which was just a
short plane ride across the river. In Merrill Lynch those I got to know best
were Martín Aranda, Wilfredo Bunge, Alvaro Muscio, Walter Ojero, Carlos
Bercianos, Sergio Faral and Barbara Mainzer.
I enjoyed the Prudential office in Montevideo as well.
Their office was on old house which had been converted to office space and, as
a result, had a very “homey” type of feel to it. Under the reins of their
outstanding office manager Alvaro Rueda, they were a loyal hard working group.
Those with whom I had the best relationship were Alvaro Guerra, Gustavo
Civetta, Federico Arrosa Shaw, Kenny Lustgarten and Rodrigo Ortiz.
One of my favorite and most supportive groups, also located
in Montevideo, was Bank Boston. Their business was very similar to what I had
done while working with Pamco and Liberty Financial. As a result, I could
relate completely with their challenges and concerns. In addition, I felt they
truly listened to me and took my advice. Their manager Carolina Irigaray was
always supportive and looking for new ideas. The people with whom I worked
closest were Adriana de Baade, Mario Lauro, Graciela Ziegler, Alejandro Klein
and German Ojeda.
Chile
Santiago de Chile was my next stop in the southern
cone of Latin America. While quite different from the Argentines, the Chileans
also tend to be very business oriented and matter of fact. They are extremely
hard working and have a pretty good sense of humor in general. My Merrill
Lynch office consisted of many younger producers along with some old timers who
had been around and knew the ropes. Most notable among my relations were with
Juan Pablo León, Sebastian Undurraga, Javier Orcoyen, José Antonio Errazuriz
and Domingo Caram.
The Prudential group in Santiago was a lively group of
people. Several of them were driven towards building institutional
relationships and they were, in general, very open and accepting of most of my
ideas. Those I enjoyed spending time with were John Chamberlain, Javier le
Fort, and Gonzalo Huerta y Gonzalo Espinosa.
Brazil
Next in line was my favorite place to travel, Brazil. In my opinion, the Brazilians combine the best of what Latin America has to
offer. They have the keen business sense and work ethic of those in the south
and the tremendous desire to enjoy life which is found closer to the Caribbean. I remember thinking the language would be no problem since I had heard
Portuguese and Spanish are very similar. This misconception lasted until I got
to the airport and hopped in a taxi for the first time. While the written
language is very similar to other romance languages like Spanish and Italian,
the accent and pronunciation is completely different! After my first trip to Brazil, I made a concerted effort to learn the language and while I’m not as fluent in
Portuguese as I am in Spanish, I have no problem whatsoever communicating.
Walking into the offices of my clients in Brazil was like taking in a breath of fresh air. Similar to my experience in Venezuela, people were happy to see me and always greeted me with a smile regardless of how
our funds happened to be doing at any given time. When we got down to
business, they would ask very pointed questions and were very sharp in terms of
doing business. At the same time, they exhibited an overall joy to be alive
most of the time.
My two main clients, Merrill Lynch and Prudential, also
had their own styles. The Merrill Lynch office had been around for a long time
and commanded a great deal of respect within the financial community. They had
several Financial Consultants who were among the best in the world and others
who were very motivated and hard working. My favorite
people in Merrill Lynch Sao Paulo were Alberto Ayres, Eliandra Mendes, Paulo
Torrelly, Rodrigo Novo de Oliveira, Marcia Dean and Teresa Raiça.
The Prudential office in Sao Paulo was made up of several
people who had left Merrill Lynch earlier so there was a love-hate relationship
between the two. My people in Prudential were normally the ones who took me
out on the town and who also were always available for lunches and dinners.
They were very open to my ideas and generally fun people to be around. Those with whom I became good friends were Eric Freitas da Silva,
Sergio Paes de Almeida, Rodrigo Texeira da Costa, Ricardo Toledo Piza, Renata
Gellis, Rachel Gammerman, Marcio Fucs, Luis Mario Duarte Garcia, Cristina
Felipe, Andrea Froes, Ana Cristina Mota, Helio da Souza, Jimmy Semple and
Marcos Pereira Leite.
A short plane ride away was Rio de Janeiro. The only way
to really understand the enchantment of Rio is to go there. The city is
magnificent with mountains which surge from the ocean and spectacular beaches
which encircle the city. The happy go lucky atmosphere of Sao Paulo increases
exponentially in Rio. While they are not quite as dedicated to work in Rio, they make up for it in fun! While I visited many of the Prudential people in Rio and they eventually opened a satellite office, I mainly visited the Merrill Lynch
office. Those who I got to know the best were Manuel da Costa, Mauro Sirotsky
and Leonardo Veras.
Paraguay
I went several times to Paraguay and while we didn’t have
a huge presence there, I enjoyed my travel. Not many people paid much attention
to Paraguay so when I went, they were generally happy to see me. There were
some people from Montevideo who traveled to Paraguay though none lived there.
The office I visited was Prudential. The people I remember the most were
Ricardo Kent and Daniel Hepner.
Panama
Panama is a huge market for banking in general and
was a terrific market for us. Besides the usual suspect, Merrill Lynch, there
was a host of banks who were also marketing our services. Among them were Disa
Securities, Banco Continental and Sterling Financial.
Going to Panama was almost like going home to Venezuela. The people are very friendly, open and disposed to have fun. Because of the
tremendous amount of competition, they have to be very good to get business.
In particular, I was able to relate with the banking clients because they were
similar to Bank Boston in Uruguay and to my experience previously marketing
securities through a bank while I was at Pamco and Liberty Financial.
Another thing I liked a lot about Panama was the ease in getting around. I normally stayed at the Sheraton and was in walking
distance to many of my clients. Because of the heat and humidity I often took
a taxi though it was nice to know I could walk in a pinch. In addition, their
currency is basically the US$. While they have their own local currency, it is
almost never used and, as a result, greenbacks are accepted widely. They have
a very low inflation rate and a fairly high standard of living.
While I traveled to Costa Rica a few times and could see
its enchantment for many foreigners, Panama would be an excellent choice for
someplace to move. It has a terrific structure for business, primarily in the
financial services sector, a politically stable environment and comfortable
life style.
Among the people I got to know best while in Panama were Roberto de la Guardia, Lamberto Mantovani, Javier Martínez Acha, West Valdes, Ernesto
Boyd, Perla Nuñez, Roger Castillero and Gustavo Chacín.
Colombia
Perhaps my biggest surprise in traveling throughout Latin
America was Colombia. From what one hears about drugs and kidnappings, the
picture I had painted in my mind was completely different from what I found.
Granted I was traveling to the best places and meeting high quality
individuals. Nevertheless, what I found was a very cultured, well trained and
hard working group of people. Bogotá has an excellent climate and is a
beautiful city. There is a particular area where I went several times for
dinner which looks out over the city and has magnificent restaurants.
While we didn’t have any major clients there, we were
able to begin making inroads with several new clients. Many people prospect
the Colombian clients from Panama or Venezuela. As a result, the local
financial services firms don’t get as much attention from international firms.
For this reason, I generally was very well received and the Financial
Consultants did their best to make trips worthwhile. They often set up
meetings for me with clients and scheduled other events to invite clients to
see what we had to offer.
While I met several fine individuals while traveling to Colombia such as Camilo Soto, many of the Colombians I got to know best were ex-pats from Colombia living in the same place we lived in Argentina. They tend to be fine, genuine individuals
who, as a side note, speak the best Spanish in the Region as far as I’m
concerned.
At Seligman we invited our best clients, or those who we
wanted to become our best clients, to a meeting in New York City. In addition
to the meetings with Portfolio Managers and Managing Directors to espouse the
excellent reasons why they should do business with us, it was also a time to
wine, dine and entertain. This second part of the trip was actually what made
the trip and that which most of the participants looked forward to.
Our guests stayed in the best hotels. We took them to
the finest and most chic restaurants in town, bought the finest wines and did
our very best to show them a good time. I participated in two of these meetings.
While the first one in 1999 was fun, this particular meeting was off the
charts. The first time I was just beginning to get the feeling for the company
and my clients. During this second meeting, I was responsible for the people
who attended and I knew it was up to me to show them a good time. As such, I
made it a point for each of my guests to have a terrific memorable experience.
Besides the wining and dining, we also gave them the
option to go shopping, to the theater or to a ballgame. The option I chose was
to go to the ballgame where we set everyone up with all the required
paraphernalia to make it a successful outing. We all donned New York Yankee
hats and shirts, jumped on a bus and headed out to Yankee Stadium. The only
way to appreciate the energy of a game in Yankee Stadium is to be there. To
make sure everything went just right we had great seats along with plenty of
hot dogs and beer to enjoy the moment.
My most memorable moment in New York City was one night
after we had wined, dined and then hit some of the local hot spots. We were
driving around the city about 2 AM in a white limo. We opened the sunroof and
with a drink in one hand, I poked my head out the top. As we whisked around
the city, my hair blowing in the breeze, it occurred to me, “This is it! I
have made it! I’m VP for a major financial services firm riding around a limo
in New York City!” This was a defining moment in my career, and while I still
had many challenges ahead of me professionally, this experience fueled my
confidence and energy to move forward.
Venezuela
While Venezuela wasn’t one of our larger markets, for
obvious reasons it was always great to go “home.” Going into Merrill Lynch the
first few times, while initially strange, quickly became easy. When I left
Merrill Lynch in 1999, I did so on excellent terms. Unlike several of my
colleagues, I didn’t burn any bridges and I kept an open cordial relationship
with everyone.
While I didn’t break any records in terms of sales with
my previous colleagues, they did support me and were generally interested in
what I had to say. As with the other offices much of what I did was damage
control.
When I walked into the office, I felt people were
genuinely happy to see me. Among those who made it through the layoff the
previous year were my previous partner José Villa, Michel Giacamotti, David
Baddour, Charlie Tabio, Josefina Ramírez and Julio Urbina.
We decided to escape the cold humidity of Buenos Aires and head for the tropics. We arrived on July 22nd and Venezuela welcomed us with open arms. We checked in with family and friends and immediately headed
for the beach. We stayed in one of our favorite places, Playa Dorada, in
Tucacas which gave us access to the spectacular National Park of Morrocoy.
Heading out into the ocean on the little boats they call
“peiñeiros” is a literally a boatload of fun! You choose the place and they
whisk you off to a deserted, or not so deserted, isle depending on your
preference. You ask them to pick you up at a certain time and they are there
like a bear to take you back to civilization.
There are many islands which are available with spectacular
reefs and powdery white sand. Our favorite is Playuela and, specifically,
Playuelita. A short 5 minute walk takes you from the more popular beach of Playuela to Playuelita which is set in a wonderful cove with palm trees looking
out over crystal blue water. Underneath the water’s lapping waves which gently
caress the beach is a wonderful coral reef, home to thousands of fish which
through a diving mask is an explosion of color and movement.
Normally, we meet up with our good buddy, Richard, who is
always at hand to offer the most wonderful delicacies the sea has to offer.
His typical sales chant goes something like this, “¡Rompe Colchón, Vuelva a la
Vida, Revienta Lycra!” He breaks out his small cooler which is typically
stocked full of fresh oysters, snails and a spectacular mix of seafood which he
prepares as we bask in the sun.
We alternated days on the beach with days by the pool at
Playa Dorada, venturing out from time to time into the ocean for a little body
surfing and sand. Frequent trips to town to stock up on ice, beer and food
broke up the monotony, just enough to make it a perfect trip to paradise.
When we arrived back to Buenos Aires, we found we still
had some time before school started so we decided to head out for one of the
more popular beach areas in Argentina. We had excellent references for Cariló
which is a short drive down the coast from Buenos Aires. In early September we
rented a place and hit the highway.
As we drove into Cariló I was impressed with the
scenery. A pine forest in gently rolling hills flows right down to the coast.
The quaint little town offered many places to stay and lots of entertainment
for travelers. Since we were in the dead of winter, there weren’t many people
and it seemed like we had the place to ourselves.
The beach is wide and long, offering a great place to
walk and observe as the surf rolls in. In sharp contrast to our beloved Morrocoy,
the water was freezing cold and the wind gusted making us shiver in spite of
the parkas, hats and gloves we donned through most of our stay.
One day we rented four wheelers on the beach. We whipped
up and down every which way in a constant quest to make more noise and kick up
more sand than the next. We had a ball as we sped up and down the vast
coastline. Alicia and Chanty, while initially tentative, soon got the hang of
things and were soon moving to the groove.
Another day we went horseback riding. Our venture
started through a pine grove and eventually wound down to the coast. One of my
desires had always been to ride a horse on the beach. While I had ridden
horses in a variety of different places, this was my first time on the beach.
The girls were troopers and while it was somewhat scary, they were able to hang
on for dear life as the horses galloped along the coast. Chanty was, in
particular, challenged as she grabbed on to whatever she could as her large tan
horse took off on a run. We were eventually able to catch her and settle her
horse down for a bit calmer walk back to the stables.
On the way back home we made a stop at Mundo Marino.
While the infrastructure was somewhat worn down and the installations in need
of repair, the shows and the animals were spectacular. We pretty much had the
place to ourselves and we saw sea lions, dolphins and killer whales puffing and
spouting just inches from where we sat. It was a great way to finish a spectacular
jaunt to the beach.
Andes Bike Trip
In September of 2000 a group of Argentines from San Jorge
asked my friend Bob Schoenfield and me if we wanted to go on a bicycling trip
with them. While neither of us were big bikers, we decided it would be fun.
Several of them were pretty hard core bicyclists and, though we did train a
little bit before the adventure, we weren’t in the kind of shape we wanted to
be in when the time to go rolled around.
In theory, the trip sounded pretty aggressive. In
practice, it turned out to be one of the most challenging moments of my life!
Our plan was to bicycle from the border of Argentina and Chile down to the coast then back up again into Argentina finishing at the Llao Llao Resort near
Bariloche. When we looked at the map it didn’t really seem so bad since there
was a part of the coast which was actually kind of close to where we would come
out of the mountains on the Chilean side.
We packed up our things and headed to the airport which
took us to Bariloche where we were whisked off to a lake which bordered Chile. We gathered our gear; made sure our bikes were ready to go and hopped on a boat
which took us through the lake to a river passage which separates Argentina from Chile. On the other side there is another lake and there we spent the evening in a
spectacular cabin run by an American by the name of Kent, who, in addition to
owning an amazing cabin on the lake, also takes tourists on fishing trips.
The following morning we were taken to the other side of
the lake and began our “biking” trip about 9:00 AM. The first day we pushed,
pulled, threw and occasionally rode our bikes to our destination. If it had
been a normal bike path it would have been fine. Instead it was a narrow
little path which for hiking was a challenge and for biking was nearly
impossible. The physical exhaustion of pushing, pulling and throwing the bike
all day was incredible!
Our navigator was a little off in terms of directions and
we were basically lost in the Andes, though he never admitted so. When it got
to be about 9 or 10 in the evening, many of us were convinced we were going to
have to sleep outside rather than in the accommodations which had been
previously planned and promised. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it had been a
nice starry night. Unfortunately, it was starting to rain, extremely hard! I
can’t ever remember being so exhausted in my entire life. Each step of the way
pushing the bike or riding when we could was a major ordeal.
We finally got to the place where we were supposed to
stay at about 1:00 AM; they weren’t ready for us. There had been some
miscommunication and instead of a nice hot meal, all they could “rustle” up was
bread and butter. At that particular time none of us cared and I can sincerely
say I have never eaten bread and butter which tasted so good! I remember
thinking several times throughout the day there was nothing which could
possibly compare with the difficulty of what we had done to arrive at our
destination.
The next day we awoke, ate breakfast and had a pow wow.
About half of the group said they couldn’t take another step. They opted to go
to a river nearby where a boat would take them to the next leg of the trip.
The other half of the group was hard core and decided they wanted to ride. Bob
and I looked at each other and decided we were there to bike so we would ride.
What we didn’t expect were the conditions of the second
day which, while much different from the first, presented an equal degree of
difficulty. The incessant rain from the night before created mud and muck.
The first part of the journey was fairly uneventful and we ended up stopping
for a brief break at the very humble house of one of the locals. They broke
out a mate, a gourd type receptacle used to drink the local “yerba mate” and I
tried mate for the first time. While the taste was somewhat bitter, the warm
feeling it brought inside was welcome as the cold driving rain penetrated our being.
It was after this nice relaxing mate on the porch of our new found friends when
our true adventure began.
There was only one road leading out of our bungle in the
jungle and it was under construction. With the rain there was about 2 feet of
mud with which we had to deal for about 2 miles. While riding a bike through a
little mud is a challenge, riding through two feet of mud is impossible. Since
there was no other alternative, we had to carry our bikes while we sloshed
through the mud. We even had to take our shoes off eventually because they
kept getting stuck in the mud.
We were finally able to navigate our way through the mud
and arrived to a place where the road was in better condition.
Notwithstanding, there was still a nice slick of mud to keep us in check. We
were just happy we could finally ride our bikes again rather than carry them.
So began a wild ride down the Andes heading for the ocean. All was going well
until we figured our brakes were almost useless due to the mud which was
getting caught up between the tires and the brakes. As we were riding down, we
would reach down and knock the mud out of the brakes so as to slow down on a
hope and a prayer before the next major turn in the road.
Our hard core Argentinean friends had pulled out ahead of
us, which was fine with Bob and me. We just took it easy and figured we would
arrive at precisely the time we got there! We stopped frequently, took
pictures and knocked the mud off each other as well as off our bikes. Despite
the adverse conditions, we were in a spectacular paradise and we were having a
great old time!
As the day wore on, our bodies began to say, “Whoa there,
big boy, we need a break!” Despite the pleading of our distended muscles we
carried on to our destination. We finally got to where the rest of our group
was huddled against the still cold and driving rain. They were anxious to get
a move on because we had to catch a ferry to the other side of a river before
nightfall. We braced ourselves against the chill of the early evening and
successfully reached the other side of the river.
We found out the group of people who decided to “take it
easy” had also had quite an adventure. In order to get to the boat which would
ferry them down the river involved a crossing for which they weren’t quite
prepared and ultimately they froze their butts off during a wild ride down the
river. While we also were cold, at least we were moving which abated some of
the chill. It was evident by the looks on their faces and shivering of their
bodies, they also had a rough day.
When we arrived at our destination for the evening, we
were in heaven. Hot water awaited us along with a feast fit for a king. In
actuality it was just normal food though it certainly seemed like the best meal
many of us had actually eaten in our entire lives. After living on bread,
butter and energy bars for the better part of two days, hot solid food was
heaven sent.
The rest of the trip was nothing short of spectacular.
Our bodies began to recuperate slowly and we rode daily on to our destination.
The ride through the Seven Lakes area of Chile up to the border of Argentina was nothing less than spectacular. On the day we reached the border, Bob and I
celebrated our feat knowing the rest was downhill. The ride down into Argentina will be forever etched in my mind as one of the most exhilarating rides of my
life! With the wind whistling in our ears and the bike crunching the ground
beneath, we wound our way down to our final destination.
We arrived at a dock where a boat was supposed to take us
to our final whistle stop at the Llao Llao. We arrived just a bit too late and
were thus in a quandary. As several of the members of the group went into a
tirade about whose fault it was we arrived so late, Bob and I kicked back and
settled in for what might be a very cold evening with still wet clothes. We
were convinced by this time there was nothing which could match the challenge
of our first two days of riding. We were mentally prepared, though physically
exhausted.
In the end we were somehow able to summon a ride to the
Llao Llao and culminate the biking portion of our trip. Getting to the resort
was like arriving in paradise. Bariloche is spectacular and the Llao Llao is
THE place to go! It has wonderful amenities, the best of which for us was a
nice hot shower which would spew forth steaming hot water for as long as we
desired.
We met later for dinner to discuss the past week’s
adventure and tell stories which, as often happens among warriors, became more
intense and unbelievable as the night wore on and as bottles of wine were
pitched aside. It was a time for reflection and, in particular for me, a time
to know there was nothing I would ever face in this world which would match the
physical challenge I had met and overcome during our adventure.
The following day Bob and I took to the links of the Llao
Llao and I was on fire! The golf course is spectacular with mountains surging up
from the earth into the sky from everywhere and lakes dotting the landscape. I
was in a zone and it seemed my golf club, the ball and the hole were all interconnected.
While breaking 100 is a common day occurrence for many, for me it was an
incredible achievement on a challenging golf course after a week of intense
physical activity.
We headed back to Buenos Aires in the afternoon. Though
we were the same group of people, we were radically changed. We were stronger
of body and mind. We were exhilarated with the accomplishment of what many of
us thought would surely be our demise. We were fortified with the bond we had
formed as a group and with the determination each of us had summoned from
within when it was needed most. We were now prepared for any challenge life
might throw our way.
Copper Mountain
We finished 2000 with a trip to USA, the highlight of which was a skiing trip to Copper Mountain in Colorado. Guillermo, Mirtha,
Ana Waleska and David joined us on our adventure. We whistle stopped in Denver just long enough to pick up Crazy Ivan and jump into a limo which we rented to take
us to our new temporary home in paradise.
The ride up was a ball! We were riding in style and
loving every minute of it. We found it cost almost exactly the same to rent a
limo to take us to the slopes as it would have cost for all of us to take a
shuttle and certainly less than renting a vehicle big enough for all of us to
travel in comfort. We mugged for the camera and took lots of pictures as we
headed out of Denver and into a blustery day which promised nice fresh powder.
Ever since my first experiences skiing in New Mexico, skiing has been one of my passions. If there has been a downside to living in
the Tropics for so many years, this has to be one of the biggest. The thrill
of pointing my skis downhill and the need for speed is unlike any other I have
experienced! As we approached the ski areas which I knew intimately from my
days at CU Boulder, I could feel the adrenaline coursing through my veins with
the excitement of what was to come.
We arrived at a plush condo we had rented and settled in
for our stay. Copper Mountain has a great village with all the amenities and
while it would have been nice to have a vehicle, it wasn’t really necessary.
We walked or got around on the shuttles which whisked us to and fro to our
destination be it the lifts to take us up into the hills or to the supermarket
to stock up on supplies.
I made a strategic decision on our first day of skiing.
I had heard of people who had gone to snow boards from skiing and who had told
me, “Rob, once you go boarding, you never go back!” While I loved strapping on
my skis and heading for the steep and deep, I was willing to try anything. The
first day of my snowboarding career gave me a bruised rear; my second day, a
glimpse into why people love the board; my third day a quick trip to the rental
shop to get back on my traditional boards. After a nice wipeout on the flats
which required me to hop and struggle to the next downhill portion of the hill,
I decided my career on a snow board was over. While it was fun and I’m glad I
did it, there is still nothing like hopping on a pair of boards which I know
and love to send the energy of the steep and deep surging through my body.
Meanwhile, the rest of the gang did their thing renting
skis, taking lessons and taking things just a bit less seriously than I. Once
I get close to a ski area, I become a bit itchy and very impatient. The
process of getting to the top of the mountain typically takes too long for my
taste and I’m anxious to start carving turns. This has at times caused some
uncomfortable feelings of helplessness and anxiety for me and for those with
me. Haydee has come to realize it is better for all to let me loose as soon as
possible so I may scratch the itch which burns as I get close to a ski area.
We closed 2000 with a visit to New Mexico where we did
the holiday thing, this time with Guillermo and company in tow. We had a
wonderful time at Sharon’s on Christmas Eve with our traditional Tequila
shots. Christmas Day was with my mom in Rio Rancho opening presents with Maya,
Allan and Laura. We went to a basketball game and donned Lobo gear to become
“Rojo Rojito.” Our last stop was New Year’s Eve at my Uncle Billy’s where we
danced into the New Year.
I hopped on a plane for New York for Seligman’s year
beginning meeting while Haydee and the gang stayed behind. They went back up
to Denver to visit with Ivan for a while and then headed back to Albuquerque to
say goodbye to family before heading back to Caracas for a stopover on their
way back to Buenos Aires.
Meanwhile my trip to New York was anything if not eventful.
It was great to see many of the people I had met the year before. I found it
wonderful to share many of the challenges I met daily both with those on the
international side and the domestic side. Living and working down in Buenos Aires felt like I was on the other end of the world and, in fact, I was.
Toward the end of the trip I had a meeting with my boss
Rick Potocki. He indicated they were looking to hire another person for Latin America. As the conversation progressed, I realized I was going to be subtly
replaced. While my title would remain the same, I would be reporting to
someone else, who, in turn, would report to Rick.
This was a tough pill to swallow and hit me like a swift
kick to the gut. I asked what the problem was or if there was something I
could do differently to remain at the helm of the Latin American operation.
They simply replied they were looking for more penetration into certain markets
and they believed they had located the person who could help them build the
business in the way they desired. They also indicated I would continue with my
job as is and there was no need for me to worry.
In fact, I believed I had a lot of reasons to worry. I
was being paid a high end salary and receiving benefits which made me very
expensive to keep around. I realized hiring someone else who would have
seniority immediately jeopardized my responsibilities and my job! In a move
which I thought prudent at the time and which I’m not sure ultimately helped or
hurt, I asked to speak with Steve Hodgdon. I wanted to explain my position
directly to him. I felt I had received little support from my immediate
supervisor and wanted to see if I could have a second chance to achieve the
results they desired.
While I realized it was somewhat risky to go beyond my
boss to his boss, I figured I had nothing to lose. The die had been cast and
in the way it was explained to me, the decision had already been made. Thelma
Thomas, Steve Hodgdon’s secretary who was always spectacularly polite to me,
continued to be so. She very gracefully explained Steve was unavailable. I
sensed through her body language and tone she felt my pain.
It was a long flight back to Buenos Aires where I
evaluated my options. As I saw it, I had two. I could stick around and see
what happened or jump ship and look for new opportunities. I decided on the
former. I explained to Haydee what was going on and we decided to buckle down
and see what happened.
Fernando Sánchez Alcazar, who previously headed up
Fidelity Investments in the region, was hired and I had a new boss. While I
was initially cautious of the new change, I developed a great deal of respect
for Fernando on a professional and a personal level. While it wasn’t the
change I desired, I realized it wasn’t his fault and he was hired to do a job.
He immediately began making changes, the first of which was to change office
locations.
We moved from Laminar Plaza to Puerto Madero which was a
very positive change. We had more space and the location was ideal. He also hired
Sofia Cinto who would provide support for us both and eventually travel as
well.
I was also “offered” a modified compensation package
which, while not changing my salary or “guaranteed” bonus, changed the
condition and amount of living expenses which were being reimbursed. They
offered a reduced amount based on living expenses which didn’t cover everything
as was the case previously. I had expected this change since my initial
conversations with Rick in New York, so it really didn’t come as a huge
surprise.
We spoke to Patricio Campiani, the owner of the house we
were renting in San Jorge, and were able to negotiate moving out of his house
and into a place which was just as nice though more economical. Patricio was
living in the USA when we initially rented the house and had since moved back
to Argentina. He was anxious to move into the house they had built and never
lived in, so it was no problem for him. In addition, the situation in Argentina was deteriorating quickly and the costs of rent and property were plummeting.
So as 2001 was underway, I had a new boss, a new set of
responsibilities, a new house and a great deal of uncertainty as to what the
future held for me with Seligman. Nevertheless, we were determined to enjoy
our stay in Argentina no matter how long or short it might be.
Our first venture during this time of uncertainty was to
the Waterfalls of Iguazú. My brother in law, Luis Enrique had come to visit us
in Buenos Aires and joined us on the trip. With all the traveling I had done
with Seligman, the hotel and airfare was “on the house” as I used miles I had
earned during travel for our entire trip.
The Iguazú Falls are located between the borders of Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay. Of all the places I have seen with incredible natural beauty, there
are many which have been spectacular yet none which surpass Iguazú.
We stayed on the Argentine side in a hotel which is
actually within the limits of the park itself. The first day we arrived, we
went walking to the falls. As we approached the overlooks to see the falls,
our breath was taken away. Thousands of liters of water gushed over the falls
and splashed at our feet in a spectacular show of color and intensity. We were
soaked from head to foot as we could literally touch the water as it fell to
the pools below us. The walkways which clung to the mountainsides were
incredible. While safety standards in the United States would never permit
people to venture out onto this type of structure, it makes seeing the falls much
more intense.
The following morning I started a ritual which I would do
each morning during our stay. I arose before everyone else and put on a pair
of sneakers and shorts. I didn’t bother with a shirt because I knew what
awaited me. As I took to the trails which wound through the park, I felt the
power of the falls which electrified my body and made me aware how alive I
was! I made my way each morning through the park and found strategic places to
sit and soak in the incredible energy which poured over the rocks.
Iguazú is a series of falls which can be seen and enjoyed
primarily from the Argentine and Brazilian borders. The Argentine side
provides the opportunity to walk among the falls while the Brazilian side
provides the most spectacular scenery.
On the Argentine side we took a trip to Devil’s Throat
which is the largest and most intense fall in the park. While it is often
difficult to see because of the mist and clouds which are constantly present,
we were rewarded with a wonderful day which allowed us to peer out into the
edge of nothingness and experience the indescribable energy created by the
incredible flow of water which drops into the depths of the Devil’s Throat.
On the Brazilian side we took a spectacular walk which
affords breathtaking views of the falls. In addition, as we approached the end
of the park, we walked directly over the falls in an experience which can only
be explained as walking on a cushion of energy which spews forth from below.
Experiencing Iguazú is something which can be related in
words though only experienced in person to truly feel the raw, unleashed energy
which nature can create.
While this was an experience lived in reality by Haydee
and her friends, Alicia, Chantalle and I lived it virtually through all the
excitement. It also confirms one of the reasons I fell in love with Haydee.
Her spirit, energy and enthusiasm for life are perhaps best encapsulated in
this adventure.
Several of the ladies within San Jorge Village decided
they wanted to climb the Volcán Lanín in Argentina. They had been training for
many months. One day at one of our many parties, the subject came up and they
casually asked Haydee if she would be interested in going. While I don’t
believe any of them expected her to say “yes” because the time was drawing near
and they had all been training extensively, I encouraged Haydee to take part in
the adventure.
I was coming off my own biking adventure several months
prior and knew what a terrific experience it had been for me. While she wasn’t
totally convinced at first, she said she would give it a go. Before she had a
chance to back out, we went and started getting her equipped for the trip.
Once we had purchased her boots, parka and other gear she
was committed. She began training with the little time she had left for the
trip and in early March headed out with all of her buddies and with her heart
in her throat. While we all knew she was nervous about the adventure, we all
encouraged her and told her to have faith everything would work out fine.
Because of the remote area, we were without communication
with the group for several days. When Haydee returned home we got the full
story. Similar to my own adventure, it turned out to be full of challenge and
adversity.
They reached the base of the mountain and began
climbing. Partly because of the advanced conditioning of the other ladies and
partly because of Haydee’s asthma, she fell back in the pack. Nevertheless, her
good friend Claudia Navarro stayed with her and together they trudged their way
up the volcano. Haydee told us as they approached their base camp the winds
picked up and threatened to blow them off the side of the hill! Above tree
level, they had no protection from the elements and did all they could to cling
to the side of the mountain.
They reached their destination, which was a shelter high
on the volcano and settled in for the night drinking mate and doing their best
to stay warm. They next morning they awoke and the weather conditions didn’t
permit an attack on the summit. While the guide advised against challenging
the mountain in such circumstance, a couple of the ladies were determined they
wanted to reach the summit. Against the advice of the guide they left the
shelter and tempted fate. Haydee was having a tough time breathing at the high
altitude and wisely decided to stay back.
Though valiant in effort, the group who attempted the
summit was pushed back with their tails between their legs unable to reach
their destination. The mountain was too powerful and wasn’t going to give in
regardless of their efforts. There is a time and place for everything. For
this group of brave ladies this was neither the time nor the place.
They all eventually made it back to civilization in one
piece. Alicia, Chantalle and I were all extremely proud of Haydee for her
accomplishment. While they didn’t reach the summit of the volcano, they
learned important lessons in endurance and tested their stamina.
Early April brought with it the opportunities to revisit
one of the activities we thoroughly enjoyed while living in Colorado. We went
camping with our Brazilian friends, Flavio and Cristininha Soares, as well as
our Colombian friends, Josefer and Clemencia Fernández, along with their
respective families.
It had been a long time since we had been camping and we
had a ball. We also took Sneaky, our yellow Labrador who was given to us by
the Bruni’s, Alicia’s and Chantalle’s friends. Getting back to nature with a
dog in tow did us all good. We went fishing, hiking and in general had a good
old time.
Telling stories around the campfire was the order of
business in the evening as we did our best to “rustle” up some grub. As is
usually the case with camping, everything we cooked tasted wonderful.
Perhaps more importantly, we strengthened friendships
with two wonderful families. Flavio and Cristininha are wonderful people with
the spice of life weaved into their very souls. As had been my experience with
many Brazilians, they have a love of life and an energy which was truly a joy
to be around. Josefer and Clemencia are also a great couple who were always
fun. She has an outgoing personality and sense of humor which assured there
was never a dull moment while he, in his quiet, reserved way, kept her in
perfect check to keep balance.
Bahia
Early May took us to Brazil for the first time as a
family with our good friends Bob and Danielle Shoenfield and their two girls
Sydney and Lila. Bob and I had already discovered the wonders of Brazil and were anxious to share with our families. We chose a resort in a spectacular
place called Costa do Sauipe.
While there are other areas in Bahia which are more
traditional and reserved, Costa do Sauipe provided all the amenities and
luxuries to be found in any exclusive resort in the world. The place where we
stayed had all the amenities Haydee and Danielle wanted as well as most of the
activities Bob and I enjoyed.
One day we went on a trip down a river which wound its
way through the tropics. While it was somewhat rainy, our spirits were anything
but dampened despite the weather. Alicia and Chantalle had their “Goosebumps”
hats to keep the rain off their heads while Danielle had her bird book to
assure we didn’t miss any of the birds which were flying every which way. We
floated down the river and had a great time checking out the sights and
eventually coming out at the ocean.
Days were spent sunning on the beach and body surfing the
more than ample waves which pounded incessantly against the coast. Evenings we
were out sampling the local restaurants. We were rarely without a Caipirinha
in our hands as we ventured near and far for fun.
Bob and I spent one day on the links golfing. While the
same precision and flow I enjoyed several months earlier in Llao Llao had
somehow taken a vacation, we nonetheless had a great time.
Our last day was spent at a turtle reserve which is
dedicated to rebuilding the population of turtles in the area. The reserve
builds awareness of the environment and the impact humans have had which have
destroyed several species of turtles over the years. There was also an eco
resort nearby which we promised we would one day visit.
As I mentioned before, Bob and I became fast friends and
we took every moment possible to enjoy each other’s company with or without the
rest of the gang. It has been said if we are lucky enough to have one or two
friends in life, we are truly fortunate. While distance has since separated
us, I am happy to say I have found such a friend in Bob Shoenfield.
St. George’s
Haydee and I are so happy to have two lovely, kind and
considerate daughters. When we look back and think about Alicia and Chantalle,
we feel privileged and blessed with two such outstanding daughters. While we
feel we have had something to do with how wonderful they have turned out, they
have each in their own way contributed to our high opinion of them.
When we left Venezuela, Chantalle was extremely social
and had a lot of friends. Alicia, on the other hand, was somewhat more
reserved and had some difficulty in establishing friendships. In many ways our
opportunity to live in Argentina helped both of them grow in different ways.
Chanty continued to be her loving good natured self. While I felt this good
natured and happy go lucky personality was at times taken advantage of while we
were in Argentina, to her credit she was able to maintain her lovely
personality and caring self.
Perhaps the biggest change Haydee and I both saw was in
Alicia who blossomed with the challenge of a different society and culture.
Alicia’s assertiveness and often opinionated way were respected in Argentina. While this attitude didn’t engender friendships in Venezuela, it made her very
popular in Argentina. The Argentineans are more forthright in general and her
style gave her the opportunity to come out of her shell and, I believe, to
really establish her own personality.
Both Chantalle and Alicia have always excelled in school
and continued to do so while at St. George’s school in Buenos Aires. Chantalle
was chosen as “Abanderada” and asked to carry the school flag as was Alicia.
In addition, Alicia won a very coveted scholarship which saved us a lot of
money and was the source of a great deal of pride for us all.
In addition, Haydee and I were both very pleased with the
emphasis St. George’s placed on activities in addition to academic endeavor.
There were many opportunities throughout the year to participate in drama as
well as to develop and hone musical interests. Sports were also an integral
part of the curriculum and the girls were introduced to field hockey and other
physical activity which had not been part of the curriculum in Venezuela.
All in all our experience with the school system was very
positive. Academically, St. George’s was not as demanding as Instituto Andes; the school did, however, introduce new elements into Alicia and Chantalle’s lives
which we both believe have helped to make them both well rounded individuals.
Summer vacation took us back to Venezuela where we once again got out of the cold Argentine winter and headed for the beach. As was
now becoming our custom, we spent time in Morrocoy sunning on the beaches of
Playuelita and hanging out at the pool in Playa Dorada.
As August rolled around, Haydee and the girls went to Ana
Waleska’s “Quincienera” while I headed to Chile for work. While they were
moving and shaking to the sounds of Salsa, I had a terrific opportunity to go
skiing in Chile with one of my friends and clients, Gonzalo Espinosa.
From the moment we got to the ski slopes it was snowing.
It continued to snow, and snow and then snow some more. Visibility was almost
zero. Nevertheless, since I am rarely in a situation where I can go skiing, I
took full advantage of the moment. The first day was spent feeling our way
around the slopes. While he skied there just about every weekend, it was for
me an entirely new slope.
By the second day, regardless or poor visibility, I was
rocking! I had been on the runs enough times to know what to expect. Along
with my trusty MP3, I tackled the slopes with great vigor. I have become fond
of looking for and trying to maximize “Magical Moments” in my life. The second
day of skiing in Valle Nevado, I had one of the most intense Magical Moments I
have ever had in my life. While skiing down my favorite run in knee deep
powder with almost no visibility I was listening to the song “Don’t Stop Me
Now” by Queen. To this day every time I hear the song, I am immediately
transported to knee deep steep and deep!
Ama and Ito came out to Buenos Aires for a very pleasant
surprise for Alicia’s 13th birthday in September. Unbeknown to the girls,
Haydee and I welcomed them at the airport and took them to the girls’ ballet
studio. Alicia and Chantalle were thrilled to see them and we were happy to
have them share in the moment which saw our first little girl become a
teenager. We have become accustomed to and know Ama and Ito generally share in
these times with us. Be us near or far, they always have made it a point to
share in our Magical Moments as a family.
We took Ito and Ama to the airport on the evening of
September, 10th. They were at the end of their stay and on their
way back home to New Mexico. As is usually the case from Argentina, an overnight flight is involved. Their travel plans took them to Miami where they
changed planes and continued on to Dallas and then Albuquerque.
The day started as most days with my getting up and
hopping on a combi for a ride into Buenos Aires. I got off the shuttle bus and
walked a couple of blocks to my office in Puerto Madero. As I worked, there
were sudden gasps in other parts of the office and people began talking
excitedly. Someone told us a plane had hit one of the towers in the World Trade Center in New York. While initially surprised, I really didn’t think too much
about it until we heard about a second airliner hitting the second tower. By
then, I started to wonder what the heck was going on.
When the second plane hit, I thought about Ito and Ama
traveling and called Haydee. She was watching the television terrified with
what was happening and was describing what she saw blow by blow. We didn’t
have a television in the office and the radio wasn’t giving me the information
I wanted to know, so I went with Sofia to find a television.
Down the dock a bit we found a café with several TVs. We
sat and ordered something to drink and settled in to watch as the story was
unraveling. In the meantime, I was extremely concerned because I had learned
American flights were involved and Ama and Ito were flying American!
I called my sister Maya from my cellular phone and she
also was freaking out. When we finally learned the planes were coming from
locations other than Miami, we did relax a little bit, though we weren’t sure
if anything else was going to happen.
Then the FAA ordered all airborne aircraft to land and
shut off all departures. We sat and waited to see if we could get word about
what was happening to Ama and Ito.
While we were wondering what was going on, Ama and Ito
were on their own adventure. When the order came to ground airborne aircraft as
quickly as possible, they were already close to Dallas so they landed as
planned. Then they had to wait and wait while things got straightened out in
the terminal.
The strictest of security measures were being implemented
and they weren’t about to let anybody off the plane until they knew exactly
what the procedure was going to be. When they eventually let them deplane, the
terminal was deserted and they found themselves stuck in Dallas.
After getting their luggage, they struggled to get a
taxi. They eventually made a decision to rent a car and drive ten hours back
to Albuquerque. No planes would be leaving any time soon, the hotels were all
packed to the gills and they figured this was their best option. After another
wild ride to finally rent a car, they were on their way back to Albuquerque.
About mid afternoon we got word they were safe and sound
and the sigh of relief we all gave could be heard throughout the Americas.
October took us on yet another adventure within Argentina where it seemed there was always something new to see. It was whale mating
season down south and during one of the girls’ vacations we hopped in the car
and headed out.
Argentina has a bit of everything to offer to the
traveler. From spectacular skiing and mountains to the west to the vast pampas
in the south, it is a country well worth visiting. We had heard one of the
places which was a “must see,” among several, I might add, was Peninsula Valdéz.
While seeing whales during mating season is often a hit
or miss proposition, we were extremely fortunate to score a direct hit! On our
second day out we hit the jackpot and were soon surrounded by whales! It was
an amazing experience to see these huge animals swimming, tossing and turning
within feet of our boat. While we were concerned we might be capsized by one
of these tremendous beasts, we were assured we were nonetheless safe.
In addition to seeing whales so close, we could seemingly
touch them, we were also fortunate, albeit somewhat embarrassed to see two sea
elephants who were very obviously mating. Particularly when viewed through the
binoculars, which we fortunately had, there was no doubt whatsoever as to what
they were doing! The respective body parts were all very visible! For me, the
most interesting part of the whole ordeal wasn’t seeing the act itself rather
the ceremony which preceded the event.
One particularly large male sea elephant saw a smaller
male encroaching upon his territory. The larger male, with surprising speed,
chased the younger male away and was able to inflict a rather sizeable wound
which we later saw bleeding. Then as if to claim the territory as his, he had
his way with one of the females. After he was done, he rolled over, smoked a
cigarette and fell asleep exhausted from the entire ordeal.
We also made other side trips where we saw sea lions,
penguins and sea otters which dotted the coastline. While we had all seen
these animals on programs like National Geographic and Discovery Channel,
seeing it all up close and personal was certainly a wonderful experience for us
all.
While it is quite common for people in Latin America to
have a maid, we have had mixed feelings about the idea over the years. There
have been many times when we have had someone come over a few times a week to
help Haydee. We had, however, always resisted having someone live with us.
While in Argentina we gave it a shot. After our friends
Bob and Danielle left, we decided to give their maid Lili a job. She was a
jewel and it turned out to be wonderful. I always had the idea someone living
in our home would be in the way. “What if I want to go to the fridge in my
underwear?” I thought. Lili completely changed my opinion about having a maid.
She was from Peru and had an excellent disposition. She
loved our dog Sneaky and was extremely hard working. Lili was incredible.
Clothes which were worn one day were ready to be worn again the following day.
The kitchen was always clean with the dishes put away. Sneaky was bathed
often.
If there would have been an easy way to take her with us
when we left Argentina, we would have certainly done it! For several years
after we no longer had Lili we have all referenced the fact we wished she would
still be with us. There are high quality individuals in every walk of life. Lili
is certainly one of them.
In November we found out Seligman was going to be laying
off people for the first time in their 135 year history. In large part because
of shock waves which were still riddling the market since the Twin Towers were taken down on September 11, the firm saw the need to reduce staff. Nobody was
safe and both domestic and international employees would be affected.
I had ‘em way up inside my throat when I heard the news.
I realized I was very expensive to Seligman. They had another person, my boss,
to whom they were also paying a lot of money in Buenos Aires. I felt very vulnerable
and was fully prepared to lose my job.
Visions of Merrill Lynch flashed before me as I began to
weigh the options and think of alternatives. My mind was a whirlwind which
began devising, planning and considering. “Why?” I asked, “Did this have to
happen to me! Again!”
I spent a lot of time talking to our people in New York to try and gauge what was going on. Everyone had an opinion and none seemed to be
any more informed than the next. The consensus was the international division,
for which I worked, was sucking wind and the knife most certainly would cut
deep within our ranks.
When the decision finally came, I was safe. While
Liliana was cut from our group in Latin America and the international staff
suffered other casualties, I was still alive. I breathed a big sigh of relief
and did my best to stay focused on my job. Though Seligman never directly
mentioned it, the indication was there might very well be additional cuts down
the line.
It was during this time I began planning my last round of
visits for the year to my clients in the region. Early December put me in Rio de Janeiro. On December 13 the dinner I had with a client fell through and instead of
going out on the town in a city which never sleeps and always promises fun and
excitement, I stayed in my hotel, listened to the ocean and contemplated what I
was going to do with my life.
On the one hand I was happy to still have a job after the
cuts which had taken place within Seligman. On the other hand, I sensed my
future with Seligman could end in a heartbeat. The invitations for the year
beginning meeting had already been signed, sealed and delivered. My name
wasn’t on any of them. This to me was the first signal things were about to
once again take a drastic turn in my life.
Since hearing Joel Weldon many years before, I had been
an avid believer in the power of positive thinking and the importance of having
the right mind set. I recalled a section in Think and Grow Rich by
Napoleon Hill which I have read many times over the years. The chapter which
came to mind was about Desire and, specifically, the importance of having a
Burning Desire. The evening of December 13, 2001, I sat down and wrote my
Burning Desire.
After I finished writing, I went outside on the balcony
and looked over the ocean. A wave of emotion came over me. Over the course of
the years, I had often thought of becoming a public speaker. What I had just
written was in no way new or novel. It was, however, the first time I had
written down in detail what I really wanted to do with my life. It was
exhilarating to feel the energy which comes from knowing where I really wanted
to go. At the same time, panic was one of the emotions I felt as I looked over
what I had to do to get what I wanted and knowing what I would, more than
likely, have to give up to get there.
I had worked for almost 17 years to build my career in
the Financial Services field. The thought of going in a different direction
was exhilarating, exciting and frightening. The comfort of waking up each day
knowing what I had to do and the wherewithal with which to do it was
comforting. It brought a certain peace to my life knowing I was experienced
and could perform at a certain level of competence. The thought of starting
something totally new brought about a completely new feeling. Something I had
not experienced for many years.
I returned to Buenos Aires and got set for Christmas way down
South. So much for snow and cold weather, Christmas in Argentina is for
barbeques and swimming pools or, as they call them in the land of the Che’s,
“parrilladas y piletas.”
As I went to work each day, I began to prepare for what I
felt was inevitable. I began getting my files in order and made sure I had a
copy of the names and phone numbers for all the people I had met during my time
at Seligman. I felt the network of people would most certainly be my most
valuable asset after three years with the company.
In the meantime, Argentina was in crisis. The Argentine
Peso had been pegged artificially to the dollar for many years and there was
strong pressure to devalue. The government slapped exchange controls in the
form of the “corrallito” which limited the use of cash within the financial
system. Riots and looting followed as the government struggled to gain control
of the situation. The President, Fernando de la Rua, was forced out of office
and Eduardo Duhalde took his place shortly thereafter in the midst of turmoil
which gripped the country.
The holidays were upon us and Haydee’s cousins, Guillermo,
Mirtha, Ana Waleska and David Martin came once again to visit as the country
struggled to find direction. Life in the “bubble” of San Jorge Village seemed to go on impervious to what was happening during this time of crisis. We
spent time sunning by the pool and made a trip back to Cariló to see what the
beach in Argentina was like in the summer time. We found the water was still
extremely cold, though the outside temperature was certainly much more pleasant
than when we had gone previously.
For the New Year, Chichito and Tía Ana came out to see us
and we did our best to ring in the New Year. While it certainly didn’t have
the same energy we were used to in Venezuela, we were able to make the best of
it and have a good time.
As January rolled around, Fernando, my boss went to New York for Seligman’s year beginning meeting. When he came back, I braced myself for the
worst and wasn’t disappointed. While he was very diplomatic in the way he
talked to me and really waited for me to initiate the conversation about my
future with Seligman, we both knew what was coming.
One day, I came right out and asked him, “Fernando, what
does the future hold for me here at Seligman? Come year end, will I have a job
here?”
“Well Rob,” he began, “you know the situation is pretty
precarious at Seligman for all of us. The markets haven’t been helping and,
unfortunately, we have had tough times in some of our more popular funds. The
home office is seriously looking into the profitability of the international
operation and, quite frankly, we are all at risk.”
I had already seen the writing on the wall and it really
came as no surprise to me. We talked about my situation in Argentina and it was pretty clear if I didn’t quit, I would more than likely be fired. Fernando
told me Seligman would be gracious and get me back to Venezuela. In the end we negotiated a severance package and I began yet another change in my life.
Yesterday I was offered perhaps the most interesting job
proposition at work I have ever been offered. I was asked to resign. In not
so many words, quit or be fired. In exchange, I get a six month compensation
package and the opportunity to do something else with my life.
My initial reaction is that of a Bouncing Ball. “The harder
you fall, the higher you Bounce!” Problem is I am getting sick and tired of
falling. This is the third major setback I have had in my career and I
definitely do not like the feeling.
One of my initial anxieties is what to tell people about what
has happened. On the one hand, I have always believed transparency and honesty
are the best policy. On the other hand, I have also learned in the end people
care much more for themselves than for others. They really don’t care if you
were fired or promoted, if you are happy or sad. In the end, they care about
themselves. If you tell people a sad story about what has happened, they initially
feel sorry for you, though ultimately they have a different opinion of you and
your abilities if you tell them all the details.
When I was laid off at Merrill Lynch, I told everyone exactly
what happened. I could see the doubt in their eyes. They were thinking, “Was
he incompetent in his job? Is that the reason he was fired?” Perhaps the
toughest thing to face is the possible reality of this actually being the
case.
What to tell family, friends and colleagues? This is one of
the things burning in me right now. I feel like sharing my pain and telling
people what happened though I fear in the end the only thing I accomplish is to
get momentary sympathy and ultimate doubt as to my abilities.
It is a tough pill to swallow. Have I, in fact, been unable
to make the grade? Is this all just a “pigment” of my imagination? In the
last two jobs they chose others to stay on and get things done while I was
shown the door.
This leads to the next question. Am I really doing the best
I can do at what I am doing? Perhaps I should be doing something else. I am
39 years old and will be 40 in June. I have a feeling this will be a turning
point in my career and in my life. As of right now I really don’t know what
direction my life will take though I can definitely feel change in the offing.
I have had the feeling something was going to happen for some
time now. The writing has been, to great extent, on the wall. As a result, I
have updated my resume and have been thinking about my next steps.
My Burning Desire is to be able to have a positive influence
on people’s lives much the same way Joel Weldon had a positive impact on my
life. I have been looking into the possibility of becoming a public speaker.
The first thing which comes to mind is I should go into the area of sales
training and development. One negative thought arises. What makes me think I
can train and motivate others to sell when I seem to be having so much
difficulty?
Sure I can always blame it on the market or on the current
financial situation. Lord knows the last two years have been brutal in the
market. The terrorist attacks in New York on September 11th last
year have wreaked havoc in the market, on people’s lives and the entire
economy. In the end though, these are just excuses. There will always be
another problem at the end of the rainbow. What I really need to do is to find
out how to solve these problems in a way which makes me happy and which allows
me to support my family and give them the things they need, want and deserve.
On the positive side, I need to realize we have our health
and if at the moment my optimism is at a low point, overall I am an optimist
and I will Bounce Back just like a rubber ball. I feel like my ball just hit a
hollow board and isn’t bouncing so high at the moment. I need to throw it down
again and it will come back!
Our current problems pale in the face of the tragedy so many
have experienced in the recent terrorist attacks. The current problem is but a
pebble in my shoe. While it hurts like hell and makes walking difficult, it is
not impossible.
Back to my Burning Desire. I have fixed in my mind to be
able to achieve a net worth of $5 million by the time I am 50 years old on June
8, 2012. I want to have $2.5 million of that amount to be incoming producing.
A 6% average return would generate about $12,500 per month. That sounds nice.
To get to there I would like to train and motivate people. The problem is I am
not really sure if this is going to make me happy.
I have recently inquired about a franchise operation with
Dale Carnegie and in the past few days corresponded with Joel Weldon. In the
end, sales training and motivation comes down to owning a business. The actual
public speaking and motivation, it seems to me, is going to always take a back
seat to “The Business.”
The business of selling your idea and preparing for the
actual moment of public speaking is probably about 90% of the work. In
addition, companies like Dale Carnegie hire sales trainers to do the actual
training. The person who owns the franchise is focused on the business. The way
I feel right now, I am tired of “The Business.” I am tired of the rat race. I
am tired of waking up on the morning wondering about what the stock market is
going to do, how to gain market share and how to make the next sale. In short,
right now I am tired of “The Game!”
I am thinking perhaps starting a sales training business is
just getting into a different angle of “The game.” In the end, I will still be
waking up and wondering what my competitors are doing, how to gain market share
and how I am going to make the next sale.
My Burning Desire may change. What I really want is to “Be
Happy.” Yesterday when I left work I heard a song by Boston called, “Peace of
Mind.” While I have always liked the song, I now realize this is what I want,
peace of mind. I want to wake up each day excited and full of life. This is
the father I want to be to my girls and the husband I want to be for Haydee.
Time for reflection in order to determine the next course my
life will take…
January and February of 2002 in Buenos Aires was a time
of great reflection, great fun and the beginning of two habits which have
stayed with me to this day.
The first was a result of a gift from one of our
friends. They gave us a mate, a bombilla and some yerba mate. While I had
tried mate in the mountains during my bike ride in Chile, I had never really
acquired a taste or a desire for the drink. Along with the gift came detailed
instructions as to what to do and how to do it. I started drinking the
somewhat bitter tea-like drink and am now a firm believer in its wonderful
effects.
The second habit I acquired as I watched the Discovery
Health Channel. One morning I saw Rodney Yee performing a series of moves. I
started imitating the moves and, as the commercial break came, saw he was doing
Yoga. I began to look forward to Yoga each morning with Rodney or one of the
other hosts. My “ideal day” now starts out with Sun Salute and ends with a
variation I call “Roga Yoga” which, while it has evolved over the years, is a
combination of Yoga, Tai Chi, aerobics, dancing and air guitar.
We had become good friends with many people during our
life in the “Country” of San Jorge. As we made preparations to leave there
were a host of parties and get togethers to say goodbye to our friends who came
from many different places. There were the Argentines, the Colombians, the
Brazilians, the Mexicans, the Dutch and a host of others.
Slowly but surely my vision is starting to get clearer. I am
looking at several different opportunities going forward that will help me realize
my dreams. One thing I believe is my work going forward will be more diverse
and will involve doing many different things rather than concentrating on any
one individual activity.
I am convinced I want to help others become more successful
and more motivated individuals. What I am not sure about at this point is what
form my work will take.
My ideas are as follows:
I can work on a contract basis for companies like Dale Carnegie
or Communispond to fulfill my desire to be in front of people motivating and
training them. I am also looking into the possibility of teaching at a
university. This will allow me to have an impact on students who are likely to
want to “buy” what I’m selling.
In order to generate cash flow, which is always important, I
am looking at several different opportunities. Among them is to become an
internet consultant through a franchising opportunity with a company called
Worldsites. Another is to market telecommunications software which enables
companies to more efficiently handle their incoming business calls.
Time will tell the exact direction though my vision is
becoming much clearer!
In mid February, on our last night in Buenos Aires, all
the boxes had been packed, the suitcases were prepared and the keys returned.
We dedicated ourselves to enjoying our last moments in what had been a
spectacular adventure. Dancing was interspersed with wine, whisky and
tequila. As the sun came up, we tumbled into a “combi” and were off to Ezeiza,
Buenos Aires’ airport, for the last time as Argentine residents. We embarked
on the next stage of our journey which, while mapped out on paper, still seemed
so very far away.
We arrived in Venezuela with our hats in our hands, some
cash in our pockets and our old apartment which we had fortunately kept. I was
partial to selling the apartment when we moved to Argentina, to invest the
funds. Haydee wanted to keep the place, just in case. As it turned out,
Haydee was right, once again! It was great to be back in our home.
We arrived in a Venezuela wrought with political
turmoil. Hugo Chávez, who had been elected president of Venezuela and who took
office as we were heading to Argentina three years earlier, was under a great
deal of pressure. His opponents were concerned with his dictatorial style and
close ties to Fidel Castro and Cuba. Many of his backers were also troubled
with the lack of financial resources despite the price of oil, Venezuela’s chief export, being at an all time high. Poverty still gripped the country and
people began looking for a way out. A failed military coup d'état on April 11,
2002, saw a temporary change of power when the president of Fedecamaras, Pedro
Carmona took control. Chávez disappeared temporarily only to “rise from the
dead” three days later to once again take the helm. Could this be just
coincidence with another similar historical event? Who knows, anything is
possible!
We were just getting our footing again in Venezuela and this was a time of tremendous emotion. There were rumors and anticipation
something was going to happen. People took to the streets on one side
protesting against Chávez and on the other supporting him. Several
demonstrations led to bloodshed and each side was pointing fingers at the
other. In the end, some sense of normalcy began to settle back into the
country as I searched for my next step.
While my “Burning Desire” was on paper and ready to be
executed, I began analyzing what I was going to do and how I was going to do
it. I looked at other opportunities such as franchising, a way to pay public
services more effectively and a host of other ideas. In the back of my mind,
however, my Burning Desire continued to retain heat though the fear of delving
into something completely unknown prevented me from taking an immediate
decision to dive into what I knew I really wanted to do.
My grandmother, Leonore McBride, passed away in March of
2002 at 92 years of age. Her death gave me a new perspective on the meaning of
life and specifically what I would like to happen when I pass from this reality
we call life to another reality yet unknown. She lived her life to the fullest
and indicated she would prefer people celebrate her life rather than mourn her
death.
When I found out about her death, I immediately hopped on
a plane and headed out to New Mexico for the funeral. Thoughts of my
grandmother permeated my mind as I traveled. I thought back to my earliest
memories of her, as well as my most recent memories.
The earliest memories consisted of a small, spry lady who
was always full of energy and constantly on the move. From the moment we
walked into her house there was always a flurry of activity. The beans and
chili were almost always ready and tortillas were typically thrown on the
“comal” to either be made fresh or reheated. She assumed we were always hungry
and was usually right. As we sat down she flurried around the kitchen waiting
on us hand and foot even at an age when it was us who should have been waiting
on her!
I will never forget a story my dad loves to tell. One
year for her birthday, he bought her a microwave oven. She promptly asked,
“What am I supposed to do with it?” To this question my dad responded, “You can
use it to heat things up!” She told him she already had a stove which worked
very well for heating things up. He said the microwave heated things up much
faster. She came back and said, “I’m not going anyplace, I have all the time
in the world! How about if you get me something I can use?” My dad asked what
she could use and she responded, “Cigarettes and books.” So he returned the
microwave, bought a carton of cigarettes and a couple of books and she was a
happy camper.
This story encapsulates my grandmother. She was very
practical and always tried to be as unobtrusive as possible. She never wanted
people to go out of their way to do things for her and she would say, “Oh, you
shouldn’t have done that!” whenever we tried to do something nice for her.
She loved her plants and loved her house. The old adobe
house in Grants was in a constant state of repair. She was always fixing
something or another. When we would tell her we could get someone to fix it,
she would just shrug it off and ignore us. Her yard was landscaped in modern New Mexico. In other words, it was au natural. She would take us on a tour of her yard
and point out all the wild flowers and other plants as if they were God’s gift
to creation and, of course, she was right! In addition, she had many plants
which she constantly fussed over. Many of them she put up on the roof because,
“They were closer to the sun and grew better up there!” She climbed up onto
the roof on a ladder well into her 80’s to take care of her plants.
When she passed away, at the grand age of 92, while I was
certainly sad to see her go, I was also thrilled to have had her as such an
integral part of my life. Since the deaths of my Uncle Buddy and Cousin Ronnie
many years before, I had decided I wanted to live each moment as if it were my
last. Now, I had a new found enthusiasm to also live a long and productive
life. To date, I know of no one who has escaped this life alive. Nor do I
think it is desirable to live an interminably long life if it isn’t on our own
terms. Now my deepest desire is for people to celebrate my life rather than to
mourn my death when I do eventually pass from this life.
As a bonus, I was able to go to the Sandias for a hike
with David Jones. We spent some time wandering around the foothills
reconnecting with old times, present times and pondering the times to come.
Then I headed out to California to see my buddy Bob who has always been a
source of inspiration to me. We played some golf, did some hiking and went to
a San Francisco Giants game where I was witness to one of Barry Bond’s many
home runs. Perhaps, not surprisingly, when I returned to Caracas, my future
began to crystallize.
On May 8, 2002, as I was doing Yoga in the evening, the
idea of Inspire came to me. This was the answer. This was my direction and
what I was put on this earth to do! Mine was to Inspire the world to be a
better place. The next day, I found out what I needed to do to register a
company in Venezuela and I went to the registrar to see if the name was
available. Sure enough, Inspire, C.A., was available and I was on my way!
So precisely one month before my 40th
birthday, I had the answer to what I was going to do and what my mission was
going to be. The following weeks were a combination of excitement and movement
which took me through the steps to register my company and take things to the
next level. Fear had been replaced by action as ideas began to flow and I
prepared to undertake a new adventure.
During this time a friend of mine, Henry Khedari, whose
daughter Alicia studied with my Alicia and Chantalle, approached me and told me
he wanted to talk. I met with him and he explained he had an established company
called People, an insurance brokerage firm. Over the years he had hired
several people to join him in the venture as brokers and met with limited
success. He wanted to partner with me and felt my skills were just what he
needed to make things rock.
In June, my mom and Ito came out to Venezuela to celebrate my 40th birthday by taking us to Aruba. They brought along a box
of super balls which I had ordered to create my new idea as the “Man with a Bounce.”
I thought long and hard about my next move. Ito and Ama were both very
supportive and, along with a spectacular birthday present, they also gave me
excellent advice.
I had already booked my first official Inspire speech
which was scheduled for June 14, 2002, with British Petroleum. The opportunity
came from my friend Marcos Levy who worked at BP as their medical advisor.
While it wasn’t a paid gig, it did give me a chance to get up in front of a group
and work my magic… or at least give it my best shot.
So as I prepared for my first Inspire speech, I also
pondered what to do about Henry Khedari and People. The proposal from Henry
sounded interesting and could also be financially profitable. At the same
time, my excitement level began to peak as I got set to hop up in front of a
group of people for the first time as a “motivational speaker.” The event was
scheduled for lunch and I prepared each word and sentence of my speech.
While I had spoken many times in front of groups, this
time was going to be for one hour and with a topic which I had rehearsed many
times in my head yet never given to a live audience. I even ordered two
posters from Successories which I was going to give to the group to reinforce
my message. Regardless of the fact they weren’t paying me, I wanted to make
sure my first outing was a great one.
Haydee went with me to the meeting and on the way we
stopped by to pick up the posters which had arrived just in time. While I don’t
remember the exact amounts, I believe I had paid something like $30 for the
posters and some greeting cards. The Mailbox Etc. branch which I used to
receive mail from the United States informed me the cost to receive my package
was something like $80. I was livid! I couldn’t believe it was going to cost
me more than double to receive the shipment than what I had paid to order it.
What really upset me is the cost I had calculated based on weight was much
less. They ended up charging me based on volume, which they had never
explained to me and while I got my posters, they lost a client.
Haydee did her best to cool me down as we drove to the
event. When we arrived, we went round and round in circles and had a heck of a
time parking in a lot which had allowed too many cars to enter for too few
places. As I finally parked the car, I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and
said to myself, “This is one of the stories I will remember years from now! My
entire message is based on bouncing back from adversity and I am going to Bounce!”
Bounce I did! While my speech wasn’t perfect, it was
pretty good. They laughed at my jokes and despite computer problems which for
some reason didn’t load my presentation properly, things went smoothly. I gave
my first “business balls” out and explained why “It’s the Bounce that Counts!”
This has become my tagline and my reason for what I do. Fortunately, despite
several mishaps to get there, my first speech was in the bag and I was on my
way!
I turned my attention once again to Henry Khedari’s offer
and one of the things which ultimately helped me to make a decision was a
course I decided to take with Dale Carnegie. The course came about because I
thought it might be interesting to be an instructor for Dale Carnegie. Besides
meeting some great people, it also enhanced my confidence in my speaking
ability.
The decision I ultimately took, after several meetings
with Henry and a few phone calls to my good friend Bob Schoenfield regarding
the economics of the deal, was to do People and Inspire at the same time.
Henry sensed my desire to do Inspire full time and told me if at anytime I
wanted to, I could bail out of my deal with him and he would understand.
So began my dual career with Henry Khedari and People
along with starting Inspire. I decided the two companies went perfect together
as I could Inspire People! Henry and I began interviewing and hiring people
and I found very little time left over to call people and promote Inspire. I
began training the people we hired and saw how valuable my experience in
Financial Services could be to selling insurance. The people we hired
responded positively to my approach and they began to hit the streets. As is
so often the case, a few “no’s” at the start disgruntled several of the new
people who were unable to deal with the rejection.
I had seen the same phenomenon many times in my own
career as a Financial Consultant. People, who would get excited at the
prospect of making a lot of money with a new job, when faced with rejection,
quickly threw in the towel. Despite my and Henry’s urging, several of the
people in whom we invested time and money quickly dropped out. While Henry
told me this had been his experience and I also had seen it to be true in my
career, I now had another decision to make. My “dual” career with People and
Inspire was dedicated almost entirely to People and, in the meantime, I had
still not booked any gigs for Inspire. I determined I would make a final decision
as to whether I would continue with People and Inspire or focus exclusively on
Inspire when I got back from our summer vacation.
For summer vacation, we decided to do something I had
always wanted to do which was to take a tour of the Western United States with
the girls. Our trip started off in Los Angeles, continued up the Pacific Coast Highway, Amtrak out to Colorado and then down to Albuquerque.
The first leg of our trip took us to see our good friends
Mirna and Michael in Los Angeles. They had purchased a home in Redondo Beach and invited us to spend some time with them. Michael was into darts big time
and we spent many an hour pitching darts in his garage. I had experienced his
passion for darts and this time I was up to the challenge of “dart-mania.” In
addition, they had many Spanish friends who joined in the fun. We went to the
beach, Jet Skied and made the rounds to local hideaways.
We then rented a van and took to the road on the Pacific Coast Highway making a stop in the quaint little town of Solvang for lunch before taking
a break in Pismo Beach for the night. We witnessed a spectacular sunset and
enjoyed a nice relaxing morning the next day. We explored some great caves
along the beach, did some yoga and I went for a very quick dip in the freezing
cold ocean. Then we headed north again and met up with our friends Bob and
Danielle Schoenfield and their two girls Sydney and Lila in Big Sur for lunch.
After a nice relaxing lunch we stopped off at a great National Park on the
beach near Big Sur and then headed to their house in Oakland, outside of San Francisco.
We stayed with Bob and Danielle for a few days having a
great time going here and there with them. We didn’t want to overstay our
welcome though because they were in the midst of a move and had a lot of things
going on. One very memorable part of the trip was heading to San Francisco on
the Bart and wandering around. While it was chilly and windy we spirited on
and were able to meet up with and spend some time with Haydee’s friend Alix
Noguera and her husband.
From San Francisco we headed out on Amtrak to Denver. Haydee and I had always had great experiences on trains and we thought it would be
fun for the girls to experience the same. The sleeper cars had been previously
reserved, so we went coach. It was, after all, only one night. While the
scenery was beautiful and I have no regrets taking the train, it was a long
time to be “stuck in coach.” A sleeper car would have made the trip much more
comfortable. We were able to wander around though and enjoyed the ride
immensely despite the lack of comfort. The scenery was at times exhilarating
and while I had seen much of the area from 30,000 feet in an airplane, I had
never seen the countryside from Northern California to Colorado up close and
personal. One of the most exciting parts of the trip came as we approached Denver and wound our way through the Rockies. A few rafters even flashed us and greeted
us Colorado style as we rolled by.
Spending time with Ivan, Haydee’s cousin, has become
standard fare on our trips to the United States and we thoroughly enjoyed this
time as well. We made the short trip out to Boulder and wandered around our
old haunts showing the girls where we met, lived and were married. After a few
days with Ivan, we rented a car and were once again on the move.
We headed down south taking my preferred route to Albuquerque. In Walsenburg we headed west over La Veta Pass and on into the San Luis Valley. We stopped by my Aunt Mabel’s house though just missed her this time
around. We later found out she had just left with her husband Earl when we got
there. So we hopped back in the car thankful we had a chance to stretch our
legs and headed down through Taos, Española and Santa Fe before crawling into Albuquerque.
Our big event in Albuquerque was a 30 ~ 40 ~ 50 party at
Maya’s house in Los Lunas. Maya had just turned 30, I had just turned 40 and
Loren Olguin, Sharon’s husband, had just turned 50. It was a great excuse for
a party and we had a wonderful time. The highlight of the party was when we
decided it would be fun for all of us to guess our weight and height and then
put our guesses to the test of the tape and scale. By and large, we all
underestimated our weight and overestimated our height. The conclusion of our
little test is we were all shrinking and getting wider!
I had a lot of time to think during our trip and when I
got back to Caracas from our trip, I called Henry and arranged to meet with
him. I told him I thought his idea was good and could work well with the
proper dedication. I, however, felt the need to follow my dream and Inspire
the world with my thoughts and ideas. He was understanding and so ended my
very brief career as an insurance broker. I was once again back on track to
Inspire and motivate the world!
Over the years I have been called many different
“names.” I have been called “Robbie” by my family and friends at the Albuquerque Academy and “Rob” by the people I met at the University of Colorado. When I
started working in financial services, I decided “Rob” was not the right
message I wanted to give my clients, particularly since I was handling their
hard earned cash, so I decided to go by “Bob” even though my dad had
monopolized the name from my earliest memory. I continued to be “Bob”
throughout my financial services career with Pamco, Liberty, Merrill Lynch and
Seligman.
When I started Inspire, I decided to go back to “Rob.”
Much of my decision had to do with the fact there were already so many Robert
McBride’s and Bob McBride’s in the world. A search of “Rob” McBride on the
internet brought up few results. After only a short time with my website, I
was one of Rob McBride’s on top! I’ve competed primarily for the top spot over
recent years with “Boogie Woogie Man Rob McBride” a professional wrestler and
CNN reporter with the same name and who also snagged the www.robmcbride.com
domain. Since I believe it is important to position and market myself as
unique, “Rob” has taken the forefront in my long standing identity crisis.
When I meet people, particularly in Venezuela where Rob is not very common, I tell them. “You can call me Robert. You can call me
Roberto. You can call me Robbie. You can call me Bob or even Bobby just
please don’t call me bobo!” I usually get some giggles and laughs with the
explanation.
I took things up with a new vengeance and started calling
everyone I knew including friends, business contacts and previous clients.
Little by little things started rolling and my first paid gig was with Stanford
Financial Group on September 18, 2002.
The speech was a two hour affair with Financial
Consultants. While I was like a fish in water with the group, the prospect of
standing up in front of a group and talking for two hours scared the pants off me.
The same feeling I had before doing one hour in front of British Petroleum came
upon me. I prepared extensively and had internalized each section of the
speech. As I stood up and began to talk, the butterflies flew away and I began
to rock. The anxiety and nervousness which had settled in before the speech
stood up and took a hike as soon as I opened my mouth. I felt great doing what
I was doing and knew I was on my way. On this, my first paid speech, I asked
the participants for an evaluation from 1 to 10 and received a 9.27!
Based on the results, Stanford hired me to do the same
speech with their Financial Consultants in Maracaibo and Valencia. Then they brought me back to Caracas where I gave the speech to the Administrative
Assistants. My evaluations for these three speeches were 9.67, 9.75 and 9.82
respectively.
Each time out of the gate I was feeling more and more
comfortable. I loved the feeling of connecting with people and I felt I was
delivering a message which was valuable. In addition, I was proud of the fact
it was my message. While it was a combination of thoughts, ideas and
experiences garnered over a lifetime, they were my “balls,” so to speak, my “Bounce”
and my unique way of putting them together. While Joel Weldon’s style
influenced me greatly, in particular during these first speeches, I was slowly
beginning to develop my own way of phrasing things and using the fact I was a
gringo who speaks pretty well, though not flawless Spanish, which, by the way,
is a strategic advantage.
By the end of November, I had given a pro bono speech to
my colleagues at People with Henry Khedari and paid gigs at Oppenheimer, Barsa
Planeta (Encyclopedia Britannica), BBO Financial Services and Citibank.
Of particular note was the event with Citibank. It was
done in conjunction with a gentleman by the name of José Manuel Raga who had
recently swum from the northern shore of Venezuela to Margarita Island. Working in tandem was a first for me and we clicked well together. We clarified,
defined and delivered a message which hit home with the participants.
In December I lined up several gigs and along with Haydee
made a trip down south to Argentina where I gave speeches to Lehman Brothers
and Colgate Palmolive as well as a pro bono speech for Fundación Nuevo Circo
which was a foundation for children with Downs Syndrome.
The events I conducted in Buenos Aires were challenging.
While the other groups I had been with were pretty relaxed and forgiving, in
particular with regards to my occasional “gringo” Spanish, the Argentines were
a much tougher crowd. They didn’t laugh at all my jokes and were much colder.
While my previous experience in Buenos Aires should have prepared me for this
type of a response, it did nevertheless, give me a reality check. In
retrospect, evaluations of 8.03 and 7.65 for my speeches at Colgate Palmolive
and Lehman Brothers were actually probably just what I needed.
I realized I wasn’t God’s gift to the world and while I
had early success with my first speeches, it was also a wakeup call to tell me
I still had a long way to go and a lot to learn before I could really call
myself a “Professional Speaker” who was equipped to handle any situation which
might come up.
At the same time, I closed 2002 content with the knowledge
I had come a long way! I had several clients who were household names and the
written evaluations I had received from virtually all the participants in my
programs were extremely positive.
2003 started off with a bang! One of my all time
favorite places to go and to be is the Avila. Caracas is situated in a valley
which runs from East to West. To the North of Caracas a mountain range runs
through separating Caracas from the ocean. Since it is a national park it is
protected land and has maintained much of its pristine condition.
While I have always enjoyed nature and had been to the
Avila several times before leaving from Venezuela to live in Argentina, it was
actually when I lived in Argentina when I started to get to know the Avila
better. I met Fernando Miquel, better known as “Comiquita,” and who lived in
the same building as my sister in law Beatriz. He is an avid hiker and with
him I began exploring the mountains. When I traveled to Venezuela on business, which usually involved a weekend stay, I would coordinate with him and we
would head for the hills.
It was during this time I began to delve into the
depths of the Avila and with Fernando I began to realize its diversity. From
the Ruinas de Meztiatis on the Eastern edge with tales of a hermit who lived
there after he stood up his bride to be on their wedding day, to the Hotel
Humboldt on the Western side, I went up into the mountains every chance I got.
When we moved back to Venezuela from Argentina, I was hooked! While I had been to the Avila many times, my dream was to go to the
highest peak, Pico Naiguatá. In January 2003 under a full moon, my dream
became reality. My friend Fernando was my main impetus to go on the trip.
After several training trips to the closer peaks of Pico Oriental and Pico
Occidental, I was finally ready to embark on a trip to the Granddaddy of them
all Pico Naiguatá.
Friday, January 17, Fernando, a nice guy by the name of Oscar
and I began our trek at the base of “La Julia,” 1,000 meters (3,280 feet) above
sea level at about 6:00 PM. We donned our packs and headed for the hills.
Shortly after we started our journey the moon peaked out over the horizon and
accompanied us on our journey. It was a clear night and the moon was bright and
beautiful showing us the way. While we took flashlights with us, we rarely
needed them. Only in the thickest parts of the forest did we need to use
artificial light to keep from falling head over heels.
We climbed slowly but surely and kept our destination in
our sights. We arrived at the “Fila Maestra” around midnight and had a
spectacular view on one side of the ocean spreading out into the horizon and on
the other of the valley where Caracas was still and quiet in the night. We
hiked as far as “La Pradera” where we set up camp at 2,535 meters (8,300
feet). We had gone vertical about 1,500 meters (4,900 feet) and the crisp
morning air penetrated our light jackets and sweaters as we crawled into our
sleeping bags for some shut eye.
The following morning we awoke to a spectacular view of
the mountain valley where we were camping. We built a campfire and I found a
nice rock for some yoga and stretching while Fernando and Oscar worked on
breakfast. Fernando is quite the outdoorsman and he treated us to arepas which
were cooked over the open campfire on the face of a flat stone. I never
thought it would work and though it took a while, they were perhaps the best
arepas I have ever eaten!
We cleaned up, put some food in our day packs and headed
off to attack the summit of Pico Naiguatá. As we approached the peak, I
realized why this area, more than any other in the Avila, was talked about so
much. The rock formations and the vegetation were nothing short of
spectacular. We wound our way up and reached the peak at 2,765 meters (9,070
feet) at about 4 PM. We settled in with the others who were on the peak to
revel in the moment.
While we knew we still had a pretty good hike to get down
to our campsite, we decided to take our time and enjoy being “up on top of the
world looking down.” Our patience was rewarded. As we arrived, the wind
whipped and the clouds obscured our view. As sunset approached, the clouds settled
and the wind subsided. Like magic we were suddenly above a blanket of clouds
which surrounded us. The blanket led out over the horizon providing a perfect
backdrop for the sun as it began its slow descent into the horizon in the
west. 180 degrees to the west, the full moon made its appearance poking its
way through our magical carpet ride. It was truly a magical moment and one I
will never forget. We remained speechless for several minutes as the scene
before us unfolded. We rubber necked first to one side, then to the other as
the sun faded to one side and the moon brightened on the other.
Shortly after we witnessed this spectacular moment, the
wind began to whip again and the clouds once again rolled in. We decided it
was time to make our way back to camp. The walk back was interesting indeed.
The clouds totally covered the moon and we hadn’t thought to bring our
flashlights with us. We touched and felt our way through the inky darkness and
after a few falls, none of which were serious, eventually made our way back to
“La Pradera” and our campsite.
I have been fortunate to experience many magical moments
on full moon nights. While several can compare, none surpass the sheer beauty
and wonder of this particular trip. It was full of adventure and spectacular
scenery which remains etched in my mind forever. This experience, along with
several others, would form the base of another important phase in my life which
would commence in just a few months, the Lunar Letter.
In early 2003, I was introduced to Jay Williams by my
good friend Enrique “El Chino” Chang. El Chino is a classic “connector” as
Malcolm Gladwell explains in his book The Tipping Point and El Chino has
been responsible for connecting me to several of my clients including,
Citibank, BBO Financial Services and IESA. His friend, Jay worked at the United States Embassy in Human Resources. From my first meeting with Jay I was very
interested in doing business with him and with the US Embassy. I told him what
I did and mentioned some of my clients. His first question to me was, “Pretty
impressive clients, were they one shot wonders or have they been repeat
clients?” I was somewhat confused initially by his question and asked for
clarification. “In my experience,” he told me, “It’s very easy for people to
do one conference with a company. The real test is whether or not they get
hired again!”
I thought about what he said and decided I would make a
concerted effort to do more work with all of my existing clients. I set this
as a priority in my business plan and went back to each of my clients. Armed with
evaluations, comments and reactions which had been extremely positive I
approached each of my clients and in the course of 2003 I had repeat
performances with all of them. The only clients I did not repeat with were
those in Argentina who continued to be the exception rather than the rule.
We were coming off another difficult time in Venezuela which was known as “El Paro.” A general strike had been called in December of
2002 and the country was still reeling from the effects. There were gas and
food shortages throughout December and January. In addition, many companies
had closed down completely to keep their workers off the street and out of harm’s
way.
I officially “started” 2003 in February with conferences
at People Consulting, Citibank and Oppenheimer, all of which went very well.
While People Consulting was with my old buddies, Citibank and Oppenheimer were
both with Financial Consultants, with whom I could relate completely.
Following came one of the “gigs” which will forever remain
in my mind as one of the best “deals” I ever negotiated, though at the time it
certainly didn’t seem like it. Barsa Planeta, who was one of my clients the
previous year and whose salespeople distribute the Encyclopedia Britannica,
among other products, wanted me to train their sales force, though they pleaded
lack of liquidity.
I asked them what they had in mind. They came back and
told me they would like for me to train several of their salespeople throughout
Venezuela and in exchange we could barter my services for their materials.
In the end we struck a deal which involved my doing half day meetings in
Caracas, Maracaibo and Barquisimeto in exchange for the Hispanica, which is the
Encyclopedia Britannica in Spanish, The Great Books and The Great Museums.
While they paid all my expenses, I was in desperate need of cash flow, not
books!
There was, however, one factor which led me to take the
deal. Several years earlier, I was visiting a friend of mine in Ciudad Ojeda by the name of Victor Castellanos. When I went to visit him, he had a new bookcase
which had been built behind his desk, lined with books which also appeared to
be new. I asked him about the books and he very proudly told me about his
newest acquisition, The Great Books from Encyclopedia Britannica.
While I had certainly heard of their encyclopedias, I had
never heard of The Great Books. Mr. Castellanos took one of the books off the
shelf, and, as if handling a rare gem, showed it to me. I was hooked. The
books take you through the most important literature western civilization has
known from Homer to the 20th Century. In that precise moment, I
knew I, too, would one day own The Great Books. The experience professionally
with Barsa was excellent, and besides the Hispánica and the Great Museums, which are beautiful books, I am now also the proud owner of The Great Books!
I have had the good fortune to travel to many different
places, almost all with their own unique character and beauty. Venezuela
contains, without a doubt, some of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.
While most people immediately think of the beaches and the warm Caribbean
waters, there are in addition extraordinary places to be seen throughout Venezuela. We decided to visit one such place during Carnaval of 2003.
A friend I met by the name of Jean Noel Bernard, who is
an avid bird watcher, encouraged me to visit the Parque Nacional de Henri
Pittier. The park is located between the city of Maracay and the beach. We
had driven past the national park many times on our way to Cata, a place Haydee
and her family frequented when they were young. The road twists and turns
through a spectacular rain forest and the national park is smack dab in the
middle of this rain forest.
The park is a virtual paradise for bird watchers as more
than five hundred species of birds are found in the park. The accommodations,
while somewhat rustic, are adequate and nicer than sleeping in a tent. Jean
Noel was our guide as we all took our first tour into bird watching. As we
walked through the park, in addition to describing the different species of
birds, he also pointed out interesting facts regarding the vegetation.
There is a wonderful nature trail which winds around the
park and affords wonderful views of the birds and vegetation. There are a
series of microclimates in the park. As you are walking you experience lush
rainforest with intense humidity in one place and then several meters later the
climate changes once again.
While I realize Haydee, Alicia and Chantalle love the
beach, I was happy they went along with my crazy idea to skip the crowds during
Carnaval and head for the hills as it gave us the opportunity to discover yet
another of Venezuela’s wonders.
Through an introduction by El Chino to José Luís Gimenez
in IESA, El Instituto de Estudios Superiores en Administración, I began my new
found career as a “Profe.” My first outing was with the PAG, Programa Avanzado
de Gerentes, in Valencia. It was towards the end of their studies and my topic
was “Metas Concretas y la Maravilla del Malabarismo.” While still early in my
career, my alliterate nature was with me even then!
Early in my career, with each new conference came a
little voice inside which asked, “Can you really do this?” Fortunately, each
time I was able to get another little voice to say, “Yes, you can!” For my
first meeting with British Petroleum it said, “Can you speak for an entire
hour?” The day came and I was able to do it. Then I had a two hour gig with
Stanford and the little voice inside asked, “Can you speak for two hours?” The
day came and I was able to do it. Then came the opportunity to do a half day
seminar with Barsa Planeta and the little voice said, “Can you do a half day
seminar?” The day came and I was able to do it.
Now the same little voice asked, “Can you be a
professor?” This was, after all, the most prestigious business school in Venezuela and with one of their most demanding groups which is made up of higher level
managers from all over the country. I planned, prepared and delivered my
message. Once again the little voice which said, “Yes you can!” had been
triumphant. While each time there were a myriad of elements which could certainly
be improved. I was, on my way and with each experience began to gain more and
more confidence.
My first day long program with IESA came on May 5, 2003.
The subject, Creativity, fascinates me. The program came about after I met
with several of the directors at IESA and they asked me what I could do. While
I may have come off a bit cocky, I confidently presented a list of many
different areas of knowledge including, marketing, sales, finance, time
management and change. In the end, they were looking to fill a spot for
Creativity. They liked my idea about my Business Bouncing Ball and asked me if
I could do a program on Creativity. I promptly said “yes” and then figured out
how I was going to do it!
I worked the program around Robert Frost’s poem “The Road
less Traveled” and at their suggestion, the title of the class was “Solución
Creativa de Problemas.” As the day approached, my heart was in my throat and
the little voice in my head was asking, “Can you do a full day program?” This
time the other voice which had told me previously, “Yes, you can!” was taking a
vacation. While I felt prepared for the class, as 8:30 AM on May 5 approached,
my knees trembled and my voice faltered.
Chichito, my brother in law and perhaps my greatest
supporter throughout my adventures with Inspire, was there to help me out. In
this case, it was his voice rather than my own which kept telling me, “Yes, you
can!” I was introduced by one of the people at IESA and I was off and
running. IESA works on academic hours which consist of 45 minutes. The
morning is made up of an initial block of two academic hours totaling 90
minutes, followed by a 30 minute break and leading into a second block of 90
minutes. The first session went smoothly and I gathered strength in the break
for the second 90 minute session. I had planned my slides and presentation
meticulously to cover each of the four 90 minute sessions which made up the
entire day.
We started the second session of the morning promptly at
10:30 AM and I was again off and running. Only this time, my mouth ran a
little too fast! As I approached the end of my slides, I looked up at the
clock and noticed it was not yet 11:00 AM. I only had about 15 to 20 minutes
left of material to close out the session and still an hour to go for the
break!
While I’m not sure whether or not the participants in the
class noticed it, an incredible fear lodged in my belly and spread to my
extremities. Now the little voice inside was saying, “Ok, buddy, now what are
you going to do? Here you stand in front of this class who is expecting you to
talk for the next hour and you have nothing to tell them!” Chichito filmed the
class and as I watched the video later, I could see the expression on my face
slowly turn from quiet confidence to underlying panic.
I thought quickly of my options. I could continue
blazing through the material and delve into the afternoon’s material or I could
take a step back and recoup my energy. I decided on the latter. My question
to the group was, “I would like for each of you to tell me a little about
yourselves and the challenges you have daily in terms of creativity. Let’s
start on this side,” I said, as I asked the first person, “What do you do and
what are your biggest challenges?”
As each person spoke, the calm once again was restored as
I saw the clock tick on and on to give me time to recover. After each person
had responded, I continued on and while I still finished about 10 minutes
before the allotted time, none of the people seemed to be bothered about going
to eat a few minutes early.
This experience was a tremendous lesson for me and one
which I have vividly remembered over the years. I learned it isn’t necessary
for me to talk the entire time. In fact, many times it is important to step
back and see where the group wants to go. Also, while I delve into this
particular point later, I learned there is a striking difference between a
public speaker and a facilitator. While my initial intentions with Inspire
were to be a public speaker, I was beginning to see there was another side of
what I was doing which could be interesting and valuable. Nevertheless, at the
end of the day I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I wasn’t sure I
really liked this new format of an entire day of teaching. Fortunately, the
feedback from the group was positive and I received an evaluation of 4.72 on a
scale of 1 to 5 which was more than enough to receive 100% of a variable
component of compensation which IESA pays based on participant evaluation. While
this has changed over time, I received 100% of the evaluation component when I
achieved over a 4.65 evaluation and a corresponding amount to the last two
digits if it is between 4.00 and 4.64.
USA
My opportunity to say I was an “International Speaker”
who has conducted programs throughout the Americas came in May of 2003.
Through my contacts with my dad and my cousin Sharon, I headed off to Albuquerque. I paid for my trip with miles which had been accumulated with Seligman and
since I had a place to stay, investment was at a minimum.
The first “gig” I had in the states was at my sister
Rori’s school, Bosque Preparatory. It was an impromptu type of speech made to
the morning assembly of approximately 200 kids. The entire speech lasted about
5 minutes. I told them of my philosophy regarding “It’s the Bounce that Counts!”
In addition, I handed out several of my Business Balls to several of the
faculty and some of the kids. I believe Rori and the teachers who had taken
the risk of having me talk were pleased. It was the biggest group I had spoken
in front of since starting Inspire and though it was short, it was a great
experience.
The following day I headed down to Socorro with my dad to
speak to a group of people at the New Mexico Institute of Mining and
Technology. The initial atmosphere was pretty cold and while it warmed up a
little, it reminded me of my groups in Argentina. They didn’t laugh as much at
my jokes and many of them seemed to have a wall built up around them which was
impervious to my message. Nonetheless, I did have several people come up to me
after the talk and tell me they liked the ideas. The evaluation was a 9.11,
which while not what I was used to getting, was still acceptable.
My final gig of the trip was set up by my cousin Sharon with
a group of Albuquerque Public School teachers who were taking advanced training
through the University of New Mexico. While my initial feelings were similar
in terms of climate to the group in Socorro and my groups in Argentina, by the end of the talk, they had warmed up and some interesting dialogue took place. My
efforts garnered me a 9.44 on the Inspire scale.
While it was wonderful to speak in English rather than
Spanish, I realized how much I enjoy the energy of the Venezuelan people.
Perhaps because of the time I have spent in Latin America, it seemed as if my
material was much more appropriate for the Latins than for the “Gringos” who I
believe are bombarded by training and who have become somewhat wary of people,
“trying to sell them something.”
Initially, I relied quite heavily on evaluations to determine
the quality of my programs. In fact, I offered a discount if the evaluations
were less than “8” on a scale of 1 to 10 and later on anything less than 4 on a
scale of 1 to 5. Later I determined participant evaluations are not always the
best way to determine the effectiveness of a program and in the end, I know
when I’m done how well things went. This realization did not, however, come
until several years later. Nevertheless, the evaluations were almost always in
line with my thinking and gave me valuable feedback to improve what I was
doing.
During my trip to Albuquerque, I came across an idea
which would stay with me daily, even as I write these words. In addition, it
would be the basis of a new idea which provides me with another way to share my
ideas with the world.
The idea came as I read an e-mail someone had sent to
me. The e-mail talked about a gentleman who was approaching the end of his
life and who wanted to make sure he took advantage of each and every day of his
life. He determined that based on life expectancy calculations he would
probably live to a particular age, which as I recall was in his late 70’s. He
counted the number of Saturdays he had left which corresponded to the age he
had chosen and bought enough marbles to represent each of those Saturdays. He
placed them in a glass jar and each Saturday took one out and reflected on what
he had done in the past week and what he would like to do the coming week. His
focus was not on how many marbles he had left, rather on each marble he had
before him. He would then throw away the marble knowing he would never get the
time back again. He was determined to live each week as if it were his last.
I liked the idea and decided I would put it into
practice. I was just turning 41 and determined I was at the half way point in
my life. I figured if I could make it to 82 years of age, healthy, wealthy and
wise doing the kinds of things I enjoyed doing, like hiking up the Avila, I
would be happy. I then counted the number of Saturdays I had until 82. My
challenge was the number gave me a whole bunch of marbles, almost 2,000 in
total! As a result, I decided I had to make some adjustments in the plan.
As I thought about different ways I could put the same
idea into practice, I thought about doing the same exercise monthly rather than
weekly. In that precise instant the idea came to me in a flash. I decided I
would focus on each full moon to assure I lived each and every day as if it
were my last. I counted up the number of days I had left until I would reach
82, divided the number by 29.5, the number of days between each full moon, and
came up with 496 full moons left go. I went to Pier One Imports with my sister
Maya and we both bought enough colored glass beads to represent each full moon,
“for the rest of our lives for mom, Maya and myself.” Since my mom and Maya are
also always aware of the full moon, we decided it would be a terrific way for
us to “connect” albeit through our thoughts at least once per month.
I have, over the years, made several adjustments to the
original idea which makes it a bit more flexible. The first is to understand
the number of “stones” left is merely representative. If I am on the beach or
in the mountains and have a particularly empowering moment, I will grab another
stone and add to my cache. In addition, my “life expectancy” has changed over
the years. When I turned 42 the following year, I decided perhaps I was then
at the halfway point in my life and I should live to be 84. The same thing
happened when I turned 43 and then again this past year when I turned 44. This
past year, however, I determined 88 is the real number. As a result the book
you now hold in your hands is called, 44 in a Row, 44 To Go!
The number 8 has always been a magic number for me.
Instances of the number 8 in my life can be seen in the Appendix. While I haven’t
increased the number of stones in my pot to adjust for the difference, other
than those which have come naturally from empowering moments, I figure when I
get to the end of my current “stones,” I will then do the exercise again,
counting my lucky stars I made it to the end of the first batch.
I also changed the part about throwing the stones away.
I want to do anything except “throw my life away.” Initially, I placed the
stones in another receptacle and let them lay there for awhile. Maya placed them
in her fish tank. My mom throws them in her backyard where she can see them
twinkle in the sun. More recently, I have taken a different approach and now
give them to somebody explaining the significance of the stone and encourage
them to do the same.
Recently I gave a stone to Alicia and Chantalle and came
up with a new challenge. While my target year is now 2050, the target year for
both of them is 2080. I was presented with an interesting dilemma. Where was
I going to find the more than 900 stones for each of them and how could I be so
cruel as to make them carry around a bunch of “rocks” for the rest of their
lives? The solution came as I was cleaning out our fish tank. I decided to
separate the prettiest stones I could find, counted out their stones, added
some stones for Haydee and then together with all my colored stones, put them
in the fish tank.
The other adjustment I made is taking a stone at the
beginning of each month and carrying it around with me. In the morning as I
put my wallet, handkerchief and knife in my pocket, I also put in one of my “stones.”
The added advantage is I get to walk around “stoned” all day! Hahahahaha. So
I carry my stone with me and each time I see it or touch it, I remember to
value each and every moment. While I fully expect to get to 2050, you just
never know. We will all go sooner or later and as such, I’ve decided to take
advantage of every day.
Now with each full moon, Haydee, Alicia, Chantalle and I
take a new stone from the aquarium and take time to share a moment, whether it is
an evening, an hour or several minutes sharing with each other. I then take my
old stone and carry it around with me until I find a new victim to whom I
happily give it.
In my mind, Inspire began on May 8, 2002. To celebrate
my first full year in business, I decided to have a 1st anniversary
celebration. This was my first experience with direct marketing for a public
event. I sent out invitations to the people I knew and who had attended my
events. In addition, Ofitel which is the place where I held the event also sent
out invitations to their database of people. We charged a nominal fee to cover
the expenses and were on our way.
There were about 50 people who showed up for the event.
While I was expecting to have about 100 or so, they assured me we did well
considering the type of marketing effort we made. Several people who wanted to
go to my programs previously showed up, including several members of my family
like Haydee and Guillermo. In addition, there were other friends like my
insurance agent Sam Bendelac who had been helpful getting me contacts who had a
chance to see me do my stuff.
In general, I believe the event was successful. At the
same time, it reinforced my belief it was much easier to have a company hire me
and to let them do everything in terms of logistics. My thought wasn’t to make
money on the event, rather to give thanks to the people who had supported me
over my first year. I was left wondering how it would have gone over if I had
charged a fair market price for the event.
Thus my first year as a public speaker culminated. I
knew I still had a lot to learn and while there were certain elements pertinent
to what I was doing, like learning the most effective way to get new clients,
which still escaped me; I had, however, survived!
Keeping in line with my “lunatic tendencies,” I came up
with the idea to write something I could share with my clients monthly. At the
time I was receiving several newsletters electronically. Some were sent daily,
others weekly or monthly. I found those I received daily were cumbersome for
me to read every day unless they were very short and concise. Even those
received weekly became at times bothersome as my email inbox filled. There
were many I would automatically delete without even reading. Those I received
monthly were of more interest to me. While I’m not entirely sure if it was
because I liked the material or if it was because of the frequency, I decided
to share my message with the world monthly with each full moon.
I wrote and published my first message in July of 2003.
The title of the first Lunar Letter is Eppa² - The Road to Success. The idea
of Eppa² came as I was reading the book The Right Words at the Right Time
by Marlo Thomas. The specific article which influenced me was from Mary Matalin
who related the words her father gave her regarding what separates successful
people from unsuccessful people. He told her, “It isn’t money or brains, it is
confidence. And what creates confidence is three things: being prepared,
having experience and never giving up.”
Since I began speaking in public, my goal was to help
people become successful. I soon realized I was shooting at a moving target!
Everyone has a different definition of success and while there may be similar
elements in two people’s definitions of success, there are no two people who
have the identical definition of what makes a person successful. The more I
thought of the words Mary Matalin’s father shared with her, the more I realized
how true they were. I thought of people who were successful according to my
definition of success and without a doubt, every single one of them had a high
degree of confidence in themselves. So I took Experience, Preparation, renamed
never giving up as Perseverance and added an Attitude² to make up my own
definition to achieve higher levels of confidence which, in turn, would lead
people to their own success, regardless of their personal definition of
success. The result was Eppa². This formula has since developed and grown as
the basis around which I conduct my conferences, seminars and workshops.
Each of the first five Lunar Letters deals with Eppa².
The first gives a general outline of the concept and the subsequent messages
explain the importance of Experience, Preparation, Perseverance and Attitude²
to achieve higher levels of confidence.
To date I have written 44 Lunar Letters which makes this
an excellent time to talk about them given the name of this book! Each has
been published in English and Spanish with the last 12 being published in
Portuguese as well with the help of my wonderful translator Lucia Korn. The
subscription list started by my sending the first Lunar Letter to almost 1,000
people I had in my database. I told them I was starting the Lunar Letter as a
newsletter which would be sent out each full moon. I also told them I wouldn’t
put them on the list unless they replied and told me they wanted to receive
it. I received about 100 responses from my initial inquiry. Currently there
are more than 3,000 people who receive the Lunar Letter directly and
approximately 50,000 more who receive it indirectly through groups.
It has occurred to me several times since I have been
writing the Lunar Letter, “Now what am I going to write about?” Somehow or
another an idea always comes up. I have gotten into a rhythm, which also
follows the moon cycle. By each new moon I want to have the idea which will be
the basis for the next message. I then think about it over the next week or so
and write it by the first quarter which gives time for my excellent editors; my
mom in English, Lucia in Portuguese and Chichito, Alicia and Chantalle in
Spanish to go through the message and make suggestions. I am very grateful for
their help which has provided me with valuable insight as well as countless
numbers of revisions before the final product is sent out.
I have done my best to keep each Lunar Letter short and
concise. I realize people are busy and don’t generally have time to read
volumes of information. When I write each Lunar Letter I aim to keep it to no
more than one page single spaced, though recently I have shortened it even more
as I create the original document in a space and a half. I send the message
out in “text only” in an attempt to keep it from getting filtered as “spam.”
In the message itself I provide a direct link to my webpage which shows the
message along with a few photos which I choose to enhance the message.
Currently, I have 100 Lunar Letters when I count the
different versions in English, Spanish and Portuguese. My aim is to continue
cranking them out as long as my fingers can type or I can get someone to
transcribe my thoughts. I figure if I do, in fact, get to my magic number of
88, I will have well over 500 messages which may be translated into many more
languages and which convey my thoughts and ideas to the world.
Psychology has always fascinated me. I decided I wanted
to go back to school for a Master’s Degree in Psychology. I learned about a
program in La Universidad Simon Bolívar and went through the application
process. I was accepted and asked to take a pair of equivalency courses before
I would actually be able to attend the masters program.
My professors were Dr. Gustavo Peña Torbay and Zoraide
Lugli Rivero. I learned a lot from both of them. Dr. Peña Torbay was an icon
in psychology at several different universities and had very definite points of
view. One of his very strong beliefs was it was very difficult to teach
someone in one semester what is taught over five years, which is the normal
amount of time a person takes to get an undergraduate degree in psychology in
Venezuela. I must say, I agree with him! While I didn’t always agree with him
on all subjects and we had several interesting discussions regarding other
topics, I developed the utmost respect for him.
Zoraide was very intelligent and interesting. She taught
methodology which to me was similar to chewing stale bread. I can’t say I
really liked the course, though I did learn several things. One of the things
I learned is I really don’t like investigation! When I learned the Master’s Degree
for Psychology at the Universidad Simón Bolívar was comprised of about 90%
investigation and 10% practice, I quickly started looking for other
alternatives.
One of my classmates, Alba Lousinha, told me about an
advanced degree in Group Dynamics from La Universidad Central de Venezuela. I really enjoyed taking classes again and being in a learning atmosphere, so I
looked into it. It seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. I finished
the semester at the USB and prepared for a new venture with Group Dynamics for
the following semester starting in 2004.
Summer and early fall of 2003 had brought more business
with Stanford Financial, Oppenheimer and IESA. In addition, I added Hay Group,
Monahan Mijares & Assoc. and the United States Embassy as clients. My most
memorable moment of late 2003 came with another new client, Nuevo Mundo
Seguros.
I was initially introduced to Nuevo Mundo by my friend
and insurance agent, Sam Bendelac. He gave me the name of the president,
Rafael Valentino, whom I called in early 2003. My first call to Mr. Valentino
was on May 30, 2003. I made several calls to him and was unsuccessful getting
through to him. On June 20 his assistant kindly asked me if she could be of
assistance. I explained who I was and why I was calling. She told me it would
be best for me to call the Vice President of Human Resources who would be best
suited to help me regarding possible conferences and training with their group.
Thus began my odyssey with the Human Resource Director.
The first time I called, I got through to her secretary who informed me to send
a proposal. She told me, “If we are interested, we will get back to you.” I
mentioned I had no “standard” proposal and asked to talk to the Human Resource
Director so as to assure my proposal would be presented in terms of their
needs. She asked me to call on June 29 early morning
I immediately got through to the Human Resource Director
and she told me promptly she was busy and couldn’t talk. I asked when would be
a better time for me to call and she told me to call on July 2. I called her
July 2, July 4, July 28, August 1, and August 4. Each time I left a message or
talked to the secretary telling her I was calling at the request of Mr.
Valentino, the President of the company. In each instance, I got no response.
On September 16, I had a reminder on my calendar to call.
This time the reminder said, “Try once more and then delete.” I decided to go
with a different approach. This time I called Mr. Valentino and got through immediately
to his assistant. She told me he was out of town on business. She remembered
me and asked me if I had spoken to the Human Resources Director. I explained
to her I had done my best albeit unsuccessfully on several different occasions
to talk to her. I asked her if she could set an appointment with me for Mr.
Valentino. I told her all I needed was 8 minutes to deliver my message. She
laughed and then suggested I write to Mr. Valentino and explain to him what I
had just told her. She gave me his e-mail address and I immediately sent him a
message. I simply mentioned I had been unable to speak with the Human Resource
Director and asked for 8 minutes of his time to explain what I could do for his
organization. By the end of the day, he answered me and gave me an appointment
for October 2.
On Thursday, October 2, I showed up well ahead of our
9:00 AM appointment with Mr. Valentino. I remember he called me into his
office at precisely 9:00 AM. I was a bit nervous, though I had been in several
such meetings before. While I was working as a Financial Consultant I
frequently told people I would only take 8 or 12 minutes of their time. This
was the first time I had done it with Inspire. I quickly told him about myself
and where I believed I could benefit the company. I then looked at my watch
and said, “My time is up, where do we go from here?” He smiled, looked and me
and said, “Relax, I have more time. Tell me a little bit more about your
programs.” We talked for perhaps another 15 minutes. He told me he would like
for me to send him a proposal for a motivational message I could deliver to his
board of directors on Monday, October 13.
I promptly sent the proposal to him the following
morning. Almost immediately I received a call from the Human Resources
Director. She mentioned she was calling on Mr. Valentino’s request and asked
me to forward the same information to her which I had sent to Mr. Valentino. I
immediately sent her the information and by early afternoon they had approved
my proposal.
While I will never know what was said between Mr.
Valentino and the Human Resource Director, I can’t imagine it was a pleasant
conversation for her. I met with her on October 8 and we worked out the
details for the meeting on October 13, which was a pilot presentation. If the
presentation went well, they wanted me to train all their salespeople. The
first meeting went extremely well and they brought their salespeople in from
all over the Venezuela on October 24 and October 31 to participate in my
conference which was titled, “¡Es el Rebote lo que nos Lleva al Tope!” or “It’s
the Bounce that Counts!” which was quickly becoming my “signature” speech. The
participants and the directors were very happy with the results and I garnered
evaluations from their salespeople of 4.88 and 4.90 on a scale where 5 was the
best evaluation possible.
This odyssey is significant for a couple of different
reasons. First of all, it proved to me once again the importance of perseverance
in achieving the results we desire. Secondly, it underscores an area where I
have consistently had success on the one hand and difficulty on the other in my
business. I have had excellent success when dealing with people in the higher
echelons of a company. With Presidents, Managing Directors or Marketing
Directors, I have had excellent success. Where I have had the most difficulty
is with Human Resource people and middle managers in general. I have tried
many different approaches and am still looking for one which will work on a
consistent basis. More recently I discovered one technique which has worked.
I have started going through someone else who has already established relations
with the Human Resource departments of various companies.
Though I still had a lot to learn and a long way to go, after
one full year of Inspire, I was on my way. My income had dropped dramatically
to levels not seen since I graduated from the University almost 20 years
before. My thought, however, was in terms of an investment in my future, and, above
all, the possibility to live my dream and motivate the world.
At the same time, I must admit I had never believed the
people who say we often fear success. I have now experienced the apprehension
of becoming fabulously famous. Would I like all the attention? Would I be
able to handle it? Is it something better dreamed and not acted?
After these thoughts I quickly came back to earth and
realized in order for this to happen, I need to rock and roll to make it work!
If and when it occurs would be the proper time to evaluate how I might handle
it. For now I live by the sharecroppers’ rule. “Head down and backside up,” as
I keep aiming for the target until I hit it.
I figured if it was a good idea to write my Lunar Letter
each full moon, it would also be a good idea to hold a “Moon Meeting” at the
same time. In September of 2003, I had my first Moon Meeting. The topic
coincided with my Lunar Letters and the first was called, “¿Vas a arrugar?”
Roughly translated it means, “Are you going to Chicken Out?”
My good friend Julio Urbina was kind enough to let me use
his office. His office is in Parque Cristal where I had worked with Merrill
Lynch for many years. It’s a great location has the metro right under the
building and ample parking so it’s very convenient for people to get there. In
addition, he had a multimedia projector which he let me use. My aim wasn’t to
make money off the deal, rather to have a meeting a talk about different
topics.
My thought was to do a kind of mix breed between
Toastmasters and Master Mind. I mailed out invitations for people to come and
was immediately surprised at how few people responded. I believe I was sending
out 800 to a 1,000 e-mails and would get responses from about 15 to 25 people who
said they would come. Of those about 2/3 typically showed up. Luis Enrique,
my brother in law, had told me this was pretty standard for meetings and it
held to be true.
I would get the e-mails and then confirm with each person
the exact address and times. We started at 6:20 PM and went until 7:30 PM.
While the meetings themselves were enjoyable, I didn’t enjoy the whole logistics
process.
In February 2004 I had about 20 people confirmed and only
8 people showed up. After all the time and energy I expended, I was very
disappointed. I felt we would be overcrowded and instead we had too much
space! I suppose the rebel in me said, “Forget this action! I’m not going to
bust my butt and then have people not show up to my gigs with no consideration
for my time.” I decided, “No more Moon Meetings” for now. I determined I
could re-consider the idea later. It just seemed like too much energy spent for
too little benefit. The positive side of the meetings was I had a forum where
I could showcase what I did. I invited several people who were thinking about
hiring me to come and check it out. In the case of Toyota Service, my gig with
them was a direct result of two of their people coming to my Moon Meeting.
In retrospect, I was the one with the problem, not the
no-shows. If there is one thing I’ve learned in these 44 years of life it is
that, “Poop happens!” No matter how much we plan and have good intentions to
get some place at a certain time, there is always something which can hinder
the process. While I believe the idea is good and may someday make a comeback,
execution was poor. In fact, as I write this, a unique hybrid has taken hold.
The Master Mind Moon Meeting, which I wrote about in a Lunar Letter, has been
functioning informally for the past three moons. So perhaps all is not lost!
My first paid and most loyal client in my first years was
Stanford Group. My initial contact with Stanford came about the time Merrill
Lynch began shutting down operations just before I went to Argentina. My ex-partner Pelayo, along with Paolo Facci and Victor Santana had positions in the
offing with Stanford when the hatchet came down on Merrill in Caracas. They
had already negotiated a deal and were waiting with their resignation letters in
hand prepared to bolt.
There has been a lot of speculation in the financial
community about Stanford and the way they do business. While I also had initial
doubts, I have met many within the group and, in my estimation, they are a very
savvy, well structured organization which affords them the opportunity to
invest money as they please and offer an attractive rate of return. The fact
they offer more than most immediately makes them target and suspect.
I also realize absolutely no one is above reproach and I have
witnessed firsthand several cases. In First Investors Corporation, our primary
investment was a High Yield Corporate Bond fund, also referred to lovingly as
Junk Bonds. It is an investment vehicle with a questionable name and in a category
which time and again has been subject to intense scrutiny for dubious
practices.
First Investors was also later accused of misleading
hiring practices. Their strategy was to look for people who were willing and
able to take a test to sell securities. They would train them, while paying no
salary, and then put them in the field to open accounts for all their family
and friends. The main product sold was a 15-year contractual plan. About half
of the commissions were deducted in the first year. By the time the Financial
Consultants burned out, as I did, the commissions were already charged and the
clients were stuck with an investment, which in many cases was purchased
because it was a family member or friend who offered it to them. The account
was later passed on to a series of Financial Consultants as the originating
brokers quit.
Merrill Lynch who, while a top notch organization and
perhaps the indisputable champion in a very competitive business, also had
their share of troubles over the years. One such situation was a top producing
international Financial Consultant who even warranted a “special” blazer due to
his outstanding production, and who was later alleged to be in the middle of an
elaborate scheme which included a web of lies along with fabricated
statements.
Later Merrill Lynch, along with many other brokerage
houses, suffered through intense scrutiny regarding analysts and their
objectivity regarding the companies they analyzed. Buy recommendations often
came at a fast and furious pace, while sell signals were far and few between.
The securities industry, in general, has always been a favorite hideaway for
unscrupulous individuals. Money can turn people’s heads and there are those
who are like a coyote in a hen house.
Seligman always maintained the highest standards and by
most people’s measure can be considered one of the most respected old line
investment firms. In my experience, they were always straight and correct in
their dealings. My only frustration with them was having a bureaucratic process
which slowed everything down to a screaming halt and which ultimately caused my
clients to breathe down my neck because of slow response. While I believe Seligman’s
performance issues were due to unfortunate yet honest mistakes, the result was
the same, angry clients who wanted to wring somebody’s neck. Since I was the
one who “gave face,” it was my neck on the line!
So when asked if it is possible Stanford Group may be up
to something fishy, my answer must be, “Anything is possible,” though all my
contact with them has been fair, equitable and above board. Gonzalo Tirado was
my first contact with upper management in Stanford and I have the highest
respect for him. He is highly motivated, driven and gets results. I love his
style and capacity to make decisions quickly. My meetings with him usually
lasted less than 10 minutes and were more productive than most meetings I’ve
been to which are much longer. While he didn’t agree with 100% of my
suggestions, he agreed with many and gave me a chance to prove myself. He was
later very happy with what he saw. He continued to call me and we established
a close working relationship.
In December 2003 he asked me to give a short speech at
their Christmas party, which I happily did. So when he asked me to go to Miami and give a speech, I eagerly went along for the ride. I was told initially I would
have about 30 minutes, so I quoted them my “international show up rate,” which
I made up as I executed the agreement, $1,000 plus expenses. This entitled
them to up to 90 minutes of my time. As the event got closer, the amount of
time kept getting shorter. When I arrived to Miami I was told it would be 20
minutes. The day of the meeting I quickly realized I wasn’t even on the
agenda. Gonzalo, with good intentions, had added my name to the program
because he was confident my message would make a positive impact. When I met
with him early in the day, he asked me to trim it down to 15 minutes. As the
event got closer, he told me 10 minutes, before finally saying, “Rob, make it
as quick as you can!” I believe I delivered my message in about 8 minutes,
which based on my love for the number “8” can only be a good thing! Alan
Stanford, the President, was pleased with what I said and talked to me
afterward. I gave him one of my business balls and I’m sure he remembers the
analogy. While it was a quick hitter and I was nervous, I got the message
across and received positive response from all with whom I spoke after the
event.
My experience with regards to the meeting and the
direction of the company led me to call Gonzalo to set a meeting. In his
typical style the meeting was a quickie. I told him I was in a position to
coach his Financial Consultants to make them more productive. He liked the
idea and I was soon coaching each and every one of Stanford’s Financial
Executives in Venezuela. The majority were based in Caracas while I visited Maracaibo, Valencia and Puerto Ordaz as well.
More recently Gonzalo left Stanford. While there are different
versions of why he left and the exact circumstances, I have kept in contact
with Gonzalo and stick by him professionally and as a friend. I am grateful
for the trust he put in me. I don’t believe I ever let him down and he
certainly never let me down.
I booked and scheduled a gig with Merrill Lynch in March
of 2004 in Miami. This was a “homecoming of sorts and certainly an event which
I wanted to make sure went well. As I prepared for the event, I wrote down
several action steps to assure things went well.
How to make an outstanding impact with Merrill Lynch in Miami…
œ Practice
entire presentation
œ Good
night sleep on Thursday 11 of March
œ Practice
entire speech with backup copy and no sound
œ Speak
with Napoleon and Raquel regarding name: EPPA²
œ Do not
put individual names in presentation because singling them out could make them
feel uncomfortable or make other feel bad for not being included
œ Make
brand new creative and humorous introduction
œ Invite
Ricardo Morean and Jesús Valencia to meeting
œ Hire
somebody to tape event for me
œ Have
Pelayo and/or Salomon tape event on my recorder or I can also take my tripod
and video cam
œ Take
and listen to Inspire CD prior to conferences and night before
œ Make
playlist with Inspire songs to listen to during set-up
Another event which I will forever remember is when my
friend Salvador Villa and I decided to attack Pico Oriental (East Peak) in the Avila through a route called Cachimbo. It was early Sunday morning and we
were walking up the mountain when about eight guys passed us in the other
direction. The youngest was probably about 13 or 14 years old while the oldest
was perhaps 18. We asked them where they were coming from and they said, “Pico
Naguanatá.” The highest peak in the Avila is called Pico Naiguatá and while
what they said was close, it wasn’t the actual name. While it seemed strange
to us, we continued on our way. Shortly thereafter, two of them come back and
asked us for a light. As I reached in my pack for a lighter, one of them
produced a gun while the other produced a knife and said, “This is a stickup;
give us everything you’ve got!”
While we complied with their demand, the other thieves ran
back to where we were and literally stripped of us our belongings. They left me
in my underwear and my socks. Salvador was wearing tight Lycra biking shorts
which they didn’t want any part of and an old beat up tank top which didn’t
interest them either. I had all the goodies to go hiking. My shirt and shorts
were made of a special material which dries quickly when wet. I had various
knives, hiking gear, a watch with an altimeter, a voice recorder, cellular
phone and keys to my car among other things. They took it all!
The first thing they took was a gold St. Christopher medal
my mother had given to me when I left home to go to the University of Colorado. That particular medal had even been lost on a beach on a lake in Colorado for almost
10 months many years before when somebody found it. I received a call to go
get it; I had left my name and a description of the medal at the guard station
on the beach. The second thing which they immediately took was my gold wedding
band. While I was most sad to give up these two items because of sentimental
reasons, the thing I hated to lose, from a practical standpoint, was my
wallet. I was carrying a small amount of cash, which I did not mind giving up;
replacing all my documents was not an entertaining thought. They took our
belongings, tied us up with the shoe laces from our shoes and kept saying,
“Don’t look at us!” I did as I was told, though I repeatedly asked for my
documents. I told them, “Take my cash, take the wallet, and please give me the
documents.” After about the fifth time I asked, I was hit over the head with a
walking stick which they had immediately taken from me at the beginning. The
guy said, “Shut up and don’t talk anymore.” They were armed with at least one
pistol and several knives so I wasn’t about to do anything except what I was
told.
When they left, Salvador and I quickly undid the
shoelaces which bound us, took off the duct tape which covered our mouths and
quietly began going back down the mountain. Salvador still had his Lycra
shorts and tank top; I was left in my underwear and socks. As it turned out, having
my socks was a tremendous blessing. As we tiptoed down the mountain, I felt
like an Indian stalking his prey. Suddenly we heard voices so we backed off
and hid in the brush until the talking subsided.
When we felt it was safe we went down farther and
discovered two other guys also freeing themselves from the shoelaces which
bound them. They also had been robbed and, as it turns out, they were friends
of Salvador. They were all very experienced hikers and knew the area well.
Regardless of the fact none of them had socks and the other two had been
stripped of everything but their shorts, they decided to, “Go get ‘em!” They began
running down the mountain to “Cut ‘em off at the pass!” I wasn’t nearly as
eager as they were and told them, “You all go ahead and try to catch the bad
guys, I’ll be happy if I never see them again!”
As it turns out the only thing they got as they ran down
the mountain barefoot were several cuts on their feet. I, on the other hand,
walked down the mountain slowly and was happy I still had my socks on! As I
walked down in my underwear and socks on a beautiful sunny day with a bright
blue sky, I began laughing like crazy. I was walking down a beautiful trail
in one of my favorite places and I was alive!
While I have been in many places throughout the Americas and in many which have been scary and certainly unsafe, this was the first time I
had been robbed. I never imagined I would be the victim of a robbery in the Avila. Nevertheless, I had thought about the possibility of being robbed and had always
thought it would be best not to resist and to give them everything I had. This
was literally what happened!
While I had lost material things, some of which I liked
very much, I realized I was safe and sound. It was then I realized there is
nothing as valuable as my life. We come into this life with nothing and go out
the same way. I have always contended those who are most likely to get killed
or hurt in this type of situation are those who resist. I stick by my guns, so
to speak, and while I have fortunately had no other incidents, I am convinced
there is nothing material which can be taken from me which cannot be replaced.
My life, on the other hand, is indeed priceless, whether it be with MasterCard
or otherwise!
In order to opt for a Specialization in Group Dynamics
with the Universidad Central de Venezuela, we had to go through a series of 3
workshops where they supposedly checked to see if we were “fit” to take the
course.
While I was interested in the content of seminars and I
particularly enjoyed some of the different exercises, it wasn’t something I initially
thought would grab my interest as it eventually did. The process was all a bit
too touchy feely for my taste. While I’m still not a big one for really mushy
type of material in my work, I have seen the importance of making people move
around to break up monotony and I now incorporate this into my programs.
There was a wide variety of people in the course from Francisco
Novoa, who has become a great friend and colleague, to Gloria Cárdenas, who was
one of our teachers. Each person had his/her own personality, drive and
interest.
One of the people I first met was Gustavo Lobig. One of
the requirements for the course was an English proficiency course. I explained
it would probably be better for me to take a Spanish proficiency course; they
told me the administrative process would be quicker if I just took the test.
During the test I first saw and later met Gustavo. Like me, he was coming from
the corporate world and looking to make a change in his direction. One of his
passions is to draw and paint. In conjunction with these talents, he too wanted
to speak and work with groups.
We had a terrific time in our classes. Going to school
again as an adult was a great experience. My main drive was to learn and have
fun. I did both in the process. Particularly in the initial stages of our
time together, we had lots of laughs. It was a pretty big commitment in terms
of time and we were all anxious to learn and make the experience worthwhile.
Some of the other people I remember well were Zoraida
Colmenarez, my second partner; Ana Isabel Bracho and Ana Bouza, the resident
rabble rousers; Margot Ponce, the professor with clout who helped us all out
many times; Lisbeth Rondón, our local nurse, always ready with a smile and a
laugh; Zulay Díaz, always interested and involved in our learning; Bonnie
Fuenmayor, helpful to us all and, particularly to me in helping to edit Un
Don Especial; Maigualida Rizzo and Fatima Vieira, our nuns who in their respective
ways added greatly to our experience and gave me a new appreciation for people
who devote their lives to God; Guillermo Echenique, who came to us with a
desire to improve and gain confidence; Lilian Mujica, who stuck to her beliefs
in spite of spirited opposition from some; Iris Gonzalez, who always loved
getting together to hammer things out for our next presentation; Beatriz
Mújica and María Gabriela Martínez who formed a great team and who each in her
unique way contributed to our learning; Eneida Paz, who joined our group later
and integrated herself into our craziness; Omaira Sivira and Delia Cordoba,
who also came to us later and eventually learned to love us despite our
sometimes unusual behavior.
Maritza, Claudia Mir, Sixta Socorro, Holy Castillo, Ana
María Gómez, Carlos Valero, Gloria Cárdenas and Sixta Contreras were our
teachers and mentors. They each had their own style and delivery which
contributed greatly to our learning, making us each look inside ourselves. Though
I didn’t always see eye to eye with everything they did and said, I did develop
a deep respect for each of them. They were all dedicated to learning, a fact,
which in my book, goes a long way.
What will stand out as the most valuable part of my time
in “Dinámica de Grupos en el UCV” is the relationship I developed with
Francisco Novoa. The first day of class, after the initial workshops, he asked
me if I wanted to work with him. While my initial thoughts weren’t moving me
in his direction 100%, I did see many similarities in our work and told him, “Yes.”
It was one of the best decisions I ever made.
While the content and delivery of his material is quite
different than my own, I have learned terrific things from Francisco and am
proud to have him as my friend. We flowed well together as a team and
developed a strong bond. I went to his workshops and he to my seminars. We
critiqued each other and built on each other’s strengths.
An unfortunate situation with Francisco and one of the
teachers dampened my spirits in the program and was ultimately the main reason for
my losing interest in completing my thesis to get the actual diploma. Nevertheless,
I am extremely happy I participated in the program and feel I got much more out
of it than I had ever imagined. While the actual degree would have been nice
to have, and, in retrospect, I probably should have completed it, the whole
process just seemed too rigid and unimaginative. It seemed like the university
wanted us to fill in all the right numbers in the right boxes, rather than
actually using our minds to create something. Most, if not all, of us were
“inventing” data in the end to make things work. Ultimately, it just wasn’t
the way I wanted to finish. While I have not completely ruled out the
possibility of going through the final step, I do feel tremendous about the
learning experience which was ultimately my main objective!
Going to school also led me to a decision which seemed
right at the time and which, in the end, was a mistake. I had my contract with
Stanford Group to coach their Financial Consultants in Venezuela. My contract was in dollars and “it covered my nut.” I could dedicate one to two days a
week to Stanford and spend the rest of my time going to school. I decided to
rely on my relation with Stanford and stopped actively marketing my services
with Inspire. While a couple of gigs fell into place, my speaking activity
went way down.
Later in Stanford, a new Human Resources person came in.
We didn’t see eye to eye on everything and our focus was quite different. My
responsibilities with Stanford were cut from coaching all of the Financial
Consultants to only the new people. Despite each of the FC’s, my clients, giving
positive feedback as to the benefit they were receiving from our time together,
the magic carpet ride began a slow steady ride down. I started working with
fewer people and receiving less pay. Getting back into gear again proved to be
much more difficult than I had anticipated!
We are treated as we treat others…
Life is, in fact, a looking glass. I went to buy dog food
for Sneaky and went directly to Don Perro in La Trinidad which I like going to
even though it’s not the closest. I went there in hopes of scoring another
free dog dish since they had given me one on my previous visit. I was informed
“the promotion” was no longer being done for adult dog chow rather only for
puppy chow. I asked nicely if an exception could be made so I could have
matching dog dishes.
The manager in charge told me she couldn’t do it though
perhaps her boss could make an exception if I came back the following day. I
kept my cool in spite of wanting to get angry. I went back before checking out
and asked the manager for help in choosing a flea treatment product.
Low and behold when I went to the checkout stand again there
was my shiny new red dog dish! We do in fact reap that which we sow. I am
sure if I had gotten angry the manager would not have responded as she did.
When we are nice the world will be nice back; be a bear and the world will
growl!
Maya came to visit us in the summer of 2004 and we had a
great time together. As the years have gone on, Maya and I have become much
closer. While we weren’t so close when we were young, due to in large part to
our ten year age difference, I have learned to love Maya just the way she is.
Maya is strong willed, opinionated and stubborn. This is what makes Maya,
Maya! She has a heart of gold and would do anything for any of her many
friends. She can be your best friend in time of need and your worst enemy if
you plant the wrong seed.
This time she was on her own, and while a bit worried
about Laura, who was in good hands with her dad, she was able to let her hair
down. August in Caracas is also very light in terms of professional
activities, so I was able to let my hair down with her. Together, we were
dangerous! I can’t remember laughing or having as much fun as we did.
After a few days in Caracas, we loaded up the car and
headed for the Coral Reef hotel in Tucacas which is in the heart of the Morrocoy National Park. The hotel is all you can eat, all you can drink and all the fun
you can possible have. They have a big swimming pool to lounge around and
boats which take you to the magical keys around the park.
One day we decided to go take a peñero to our favorite
spot in the park. The boat ride out to Playuelita is always a gas. The sun
was shining and we had a great day on the beach. Snorkeling gear was in hand
to see the coral reefs and plethora of fish flashing their spectacular covers.
Our local seafood chef, Richard, was on hand to make sure we had all the
oysters and other seafood we could handle. On the way back in the boat to
civilization, we were even treated to a band which played Tambores and kept us
smiling.
In the evenings when we got back to the hotel, the girls
got into some Bailoterapia, while I kicked back with Maya and watched the
show. It was during this week of fun in the sun when Maya adopted the name
“Riki Tapa.” Part of the routine for the Bailoterapia was a song which sounds
like, “A Riki Tapa ya, a Riki Tapa ye…”
It was great to spend time with Maya one on one. We were
able to catch up and share more than we had in a long time. Seems like every
time we go to Albuquerque, we are running around trying to see everyone and
many times not really getting the chance just to relax and spend the kind of
time we would like to spend together.
One particular place I have always liked to go in the Avila has a convenient entrance and hiking at a strong steady pace can be reached in about
45 minutes. While the official name for the area is called Quebrada Sebucán, I
have dubbed it “Cielo.” The translation for Cielo is Heaven and this place
certainly comes close to what I imagine Heaven to be.
After walking up a fairly steep grade, a descent begins
into a ravine which has a small stream. As you walk down into the valley the
temperature and climate immediately change. Even in the dry season the change
is dramatic. The sounds of the city are left behind and replaced by gurgling
sounds of the stream. Cielo is at the base of a small waterfall which forms a
pool big enough to swim in. The thick, lush vegetation is home to innumerable
plants and insects. There is even a rock which is ideal to sunbathe or to do
yoga, depending on the spirit of the moment.
Climbing up and over the waterfall brings yet more
paradise and another area which I call “Cielito” or in English, Little Heaven.
While sitting up on top of a rock, it was possible to look out over the valley
as the water ran over a rock and plunged below. I say “was possible” because
this area has since been modified by the force of nature.
As I often did, one day I went up to Cielito on my own.
It was a spectacular sunny Sunday morning and there was not a cloud in the
sky. As I was smoking a cigarette, a branch from about 30 feet above broke and
tumbled down. I heard the sound and then felt the branch, which was about two
inches in diameter, fall across my insteps. I had taken my shoes and socks off
and had my knees up to the chest. First I screamed because I was scared out of
my wits and then I screamed for the pain which went searing through my two
feet. I got up and rubbed my feet seeing they had both been cut slightly by
the branch. In addition, I could see the mark which would turn into a pretty
serious bruise on each foot.
While I soaked my feet in the stream for a bit, I thought
perhaps I was being punished for smoking a cigarette! I looked around and
could see no one pointing a finger at me so I put my shoes on gently without
lacing them up and walked gingerly down the mountain. When I was getting close
to the bottom, I asked Haydee if she could come get me as I was sure I couldn’t
drive my car which had a standard transmission. Haydee came to get me and let
me know she wasn’t pleased with my predicament. She never liked my going to
the mountains alone. While I normally invite someone to go with me, often I am
stood up at the last minute, as many prefer to sleep in and relax on the
weekends. So I go on my own to my Cielito Lindo.
That very same night a tremendous storm moved through Caracas. Rain, lightening and wind wreaked their havoc. The next day there were several
roads which closed Monday morning traffic. I thought nothing of this until
about two weeks later when my feet felt better and I trekked once again up to
Cielito. When I got there, I felt a chill surge through my body when I saw
what had happened to my little slice of paradise. A tree with a diameter of
about three feet had come crashing down on the precise place I sat a couple of
weeks earlier! The branches and trunk of the tree completely changed the landscape.
While my feet were still somewhat delicate it was my gut which made me turn and
head back down the falls to Cielo. I have only returned to Cielito a couple of
times since and always accompanied by somebody else. It stills sends shivers
through my bones to think a tree came crashing down on the exact place where I
was sitting when a much smaller branch came crashing down. Even scarier is to
think the destruction probably happened the same day when I was injured though
there was not a cloud in the sky at the time.
While the frequency of my trips to the Avila has
subsided, I continue to treasure the times when I go back to Cielo either alone
or with company. In fact, I even made up an event later which is called,
“Stairway to Heaven,” and involves hiking up to this, my favorite place in the Avila!
I got the gig I had been waiting for in September of
2004. I received a call from my folks over at Citibank and they told me they
were looking to do a program on change. The participants were the Financial
Consultants and the “Hunters” who were responsible for finding new business.
The event was for about 130 people on a Saturday morning for half a day.
As a result of my conscious decision to not seek new
business and “float” on my coaching with Stanford, two very interesting things
had happened. First of all my relationship with Stanford, while still good,
was undergoing a radical change. As I mentioned previously, the players had
changed in Human Resources at Stanford and we didn’t exactly see eye to eye. At
their request I conducted a survey of the Financial Consultants asking them the
benefit they were receiving from our time together. Despite extremely positive
responses from all, I had been assigned to coach only the new Financial
Consultants. The second is when I stopped calling people for business, they
also stopped calling me. It’s very interesting how those two things seem to be
forever related!
As a result, I was a bit rusty. My most recent time out
of the gate was in late May with a group from Estee Lauder. While it had been
a while, I was confident in my abilities and excited to try some new things
which I had learned in Group Dynamics at the UCV. The first thing I decided
was to limit the number of slides I used in the presentation. My presentations
were traditionally packed with many slides, each with a photo or picture
representing the idea along with a limited amount of text. I thought it would
be better to have fewer slides with little or almost no writing on them so the
participants could focus on what I was saying. This was my first mistake.
My second mistake was a radical change in my style and
flow of the exercises I used with the group. I made a major overhaul in my
previous presentation, scripted and then rehearsed it exhaustively. I had the
whole thing figured out and practiced to the minutest detail. From the first
words to come out of my mouth to the words I would say to close, I had it
“friamente calculado,” as we say in Spanish and translates to, “All figured
out.”
The venue was the Salón Naiguatá, the nicest ballroom in
the Hotel Tamanaco, one of the old line elegant hotels in Caracas. I had
dreamed about this opportunity. A room full of salespeople, and not just any
salespeople. These were all Financial Consultants, some of which had seen me
twice before and had always been most complimentary. As I did yoga in the
evenings, I rehearsed what I was going to say, how I was going to say it and
each inflection and change of rhythm in my voice.
By the time the day came, I was pumped and ready to
rock. I had just gotten my new 2005 Ford Focus which I had planned to buy for
some time. I picked up Chichito and my good friend Francisco Novoa on the way
to help me out with the details. I put in my rocking Inspire CD which I
usually listen to on the way to gigs and I was jumping out of my boots to get
going.
While I was a bit nervous, I thought nothing of it, since
I normally have some butterflies before I speak. I greeted the photographer I
had hired for the event, which had caused a couple of uncomfortable
conversations between me and the person organizing the event. I set up my “bag
of goodies” so I could have all my playthings in close reach. I put on the
microphone which they gave to me attaching it to my lapel while making a quick
sound check. While I had used a similar type of microphone before, it was not
in this large of a room and certainly not with as many people.
I kept the participants outside of the ballroom and on
cue put on some nice salsa music and opened the doors. The group flooded in
and took their seats. The regional director got up and said a few quick words
before getting to my introduction. As he talked, I stood off to the side,
taking a few deep breaths and thinking, “This is the moment I’ve been waiting
for!”
As he finished the introduction, the crowd applauded
politely and I made my move for the stage. I faced the sea of faces and prepared
to deliver the first few words of the introduction I had rehearsed so carefully.
Then as if in a bad dream, my mind went completely blank! I paused, which I
had originally planned to do for effect and now did as I desperately tried to
remember what I was going to say. After a “pregnant pause” which was aching to
give birth, several words drooled out of my mouth which likely made no sense at
all!
This was the start of what was to be a walking nightmare,
which would last for the next several hours. Normally, I had presentations
which contained anywhere from 40 to 60 slides for a similar time frame. This
time I think I had a grand total of about 12 slides and several of them were to
be the basis of 30 to 40 minutes worth of material.
As the words slithered out of my mouth, they seemed to
fall on deaf ears. The energy of the group was in a free fall and nothing I
said seemed to connect. All but a few people seemed to be on a totally
different planet. I did everything I could to be more animated and modulate my
voice. Nothing seemed to work.
As the break came, I talked to Chichito and Francisco.
While it wasn’t necessary, I could see in their eyes things were not going
well. Francisco kindly gave me some ideas he thought would bring things back
into line. I was stubborn though and was convinced things would turn around.
In addition, I wasn’t willing to try something totally new on such a large
group without first rehearsing.
When we came back from the break, things warmed up a
bit. I had an exercise to divide the room into teams. Each table had an
envelope where there were papers with the names of animals. Each of the
animals formed a team around a leader. The folks got into it and it was fun.
Afterwards, though, things dragged a bit. In the next phase each of about 12
tables talked about change and then gave their results to the rest of the
group.
In the end, I knew things hadn’t gone the way I wanted.
They invited us to lunch and besides a few polite “thank you’s,” no one came to
talk to me. When the results of the evaluations were in and all was said and
done I received an evaluation of 3.61 on a scale from 1 to 5. It was the worst
evaluation I had received to date. The only other gig I had which was close to
being so low was Lehman Brothers in Argentina which gave me a 7.65 on a scale
of 1 to 10 which when converted into my new evaluation scale, was still slightly
better than my outing with Citibank.
I went home and was very pensive all afternoon about the
event. I couldn’t believe I had my chance of a lifetime and had blown it. I
mentioned to Haydee and Alicia what happened and they were very sympathetic.
Later in the day I went to do some yoga and considered the day. In a flash,
the solution to my dampened spirits came! As a result of my preparation, I had
developed a couple of ideas on change which hadn’t been part of my previous
talks. In particular, one idea had to do with the way we use the word “but” to
take away importance to what precedes it. My contention was we can change the
way we think about things by changing the way we formulate our thoughts and
language.
When I went downstairs, I went and talked to Chantalle to
whom I hadn’t spoken earlier. I went into her room and told her, “Chanty,
today I had an event which didn’t go the way I wanted it to go. In spite of my
practice and preparation, it just didn’t click BUT I did develop a couple of
ideas which I feel are excellent! If it hadn’t been for the event, I never
would have developed them. One of the ideas, I believe, is so good it could be
my next book! When I am able to explain it better, it could be a best seller.
Part of my story will be based on this day which didn’t go quite the way I
wanted. The most important thing is how powerful I believe the idea to be!”
Chanty looked me straight in the eye and said,
“Congratulations, Daddy, I’m so proud of you!” By putting the small yet
extremely powerful word BUT in just the right place made all the difference in
how she interpreted what I said. She gave me heartfelt congratulations hours
after my worst outing since starting Inspire. In that precise moment I saw how
powerful our language and internal dialogue is to shape our emotions.
My first gig in el Salón Naiguatá continues to be one of my
most valuable learning experiences. It’s funny how we often learn most from
the most difficult situations. This pattern I have found to repeat itself time
and again in my own life as well as in the lives of others.
After this experience and my realization of how powerful
the word BUT really is, I went into my book, Un Don Especial, and took
out every single BUT. I wanted to see if it could be done. While it was a
challenge, I realized just about anything is possible in writing and in
thinking. To this day I am extremely conscious of how and when I use BUT in
addition to being very careful when I do use it.
Things to improve on Citibank conference:
œ More
technology and animation
œ Better
use of PowerPoint capabilities
œ Introduction:
Get it to flow and get people involved right away
œ Video
picture before and during evaluations, what was I thinking?
œ Shorter,
more compact dynamics and or no dynamics and shorter overall time to focus on
public speaking or team with Francicso for dynamics. Better yet learn dynamics
myself! Answer the question, how can I keep a large crowd captivated?
œ Better
planning and coordination with sound!
œ Learn
how to work microphones!!
œ Don’t
take 1 or 2 examples only from group
œ Don’t
question person and ask, “Does that make you feel better?”
œ Never
give preference to camera over audience
œ Do not
use relaxation “River of Change” in large impersonal setting
œ Be
more dynamic, motivated and moving during presentation
œ Use people’s
names when possible
œ Better
presentation of balls to people
œ More
relaxed and confident
œ More
strict on rules and regulations
œ Innovative
strategy to get people back on track.
By this time I was well entrenched in a routine, which I
call, “Eight to Create, Motivate and Stay in Shape.” There are several things
we can each do daily to empower our energy and make sure it’s a great day. In
my case, I have chosen activities which are simple to accomplish and which can
be done throughout the day. My goal is to do at least eight of these
activities daily in order to “Create, Motivate and Stay in Shape.” For
example, following is a list of the activities I kept track of and the number
of times I did each one during 2004:
|
189: Sunrise
323: Sun
Salute
287:
Exercise
458: Stairs
117: Plan
128: Read
003: Juggle
050:
Motivate
|
231: Yoga
246: Sunset
170: Ball
in ones!
008: Avila
112: Family
Dinner
054: A
little Extra
035:
Conferences
031: Tennis
|
011: Around
Block
082: Study
UCV
163:
Breathe
176: Energy
003:
Toastmasters
009: Beach
008: Create
for “8”
004: Hacky
Sack
|
For the year I did 2,914 activities! Curiously enough this comes out to
almost exactly eight activities a day, 7.98 to be specific. The power of goal
setting never ceases to amaze me! I am confident I will be more successful in
all things when I do more activities daily to empower my creativity, motivation
and overall health.
While I have continued to keep track of what I do on a daily basis, and
the exercise has become an integral part of what I do daily, I now realize it
is not only the number of events I do, rather the intensity with which I do
them which is also important!
One of my most important realizations of Eight to Create,
Motivate and Stay in Shape has to do with my “Ball in One’s.” In 2002 I was
throwing a tennis ball for Sneaky to grab and as I was throwing it towards a
cement block with a hole in the middle, it went in! I was truly amazed. The hole
is about one inch larger in diameter than that of a tennis ball and when the
ball is thrown in the middle, it goes in the hole and stays there without
bouncing out! This was the start of a game I continue to play upstairs with
Sneaky and Rascal who at the start of the game was not yet born. I initially
started with one ball and one “hole.” I soon added a series of five “holes”
where the one in the middle counted as one and the four on the corners counted
as ¼. Following are the number of “Ball in One’s” I scored through 2004:
œ
2002: 2
œ
2003: 64
œ
2004: 170
I discovered that as I increased the number of balls I
used in the exercise and the amount of time I devoted to the game, my success
increased. Like so many things in life, we tend to achieve what we focus on!
My reflection as 2004 came to a close was perhaps I should be focusing on other
things, which produced more income than “Ball in One’s”!
After recovering from Christmas and the New Year, it was
back to work. While I had been working at getting Inspire rocking for the past
3 years, things were still not going as I wanted and had hoped they would be.
My phone wasn’t ringing and the gigs were too far and few between. I had paid
the price of not actively seeking new clients as I studied and as a result my
business suffered. I was like a plane which took off initially, landed and now
had to get airborne again.
One evening in January, my friend Marcos Levy came over.
As is our custom, we began philosophizing about the world and in particular our
individual circumstances. I told him I had hoped my business would be at a
different level than it was at the time. He looked at me and told me, “Rob,
your problem is that you aren’t working! You sit up ‘On top of your own little
world’ in your makeshift office on your roof thinking and writing. What you are
not doing is getting out and making things happen!”
While I initially mumbled a few things about his being
out of his mind, I realized he was right. Business doesn’t happen by merely
hoping people will call. It’s necessary to get out and move and shake if we
really want things to happen. I had developed a routine which included getting
up with the sun, feeding Sneaky, doing sun salute along with some exercise and
then settling down with some mate to do some “work.” At the end of the day, I
fed Sneaky again, took her down stairs and finished the day with a “sunsetsazo”
which included another round of yoga.
My daily routine, while it included making outgoing
calls, generally consisted in my working upstairs in my makeshift office. Interestingly
enough it was during these times when I could work all day at home when I was
happiest. While the pleasure of being able to do what I wanted to do when I
wanted to do it was nice, I wasn’t making nearly the amount of money I wanted
to make, nor did I have the amount of activity I wanted to have.
I had accomplished several things which I felt were
important such as writing my book Un Don Especial and translating it
into English into the form of A Special Gift. I hadn’t missed a Lunar
Letter since beginning my endeavor in 2003. I had several clients which were
big names such as Citibank, IESA, the US Embassy and others. I was well on my
way in my studies at the Universidad Central de Venezuela in my Group Dynamics
specialty. Yet with all these things going on, I didn’t have people calling me
to do gigs.
I realized if I was to really make things happen, I would
have to be much more proactive in terms of my contacts. My coaching with
Stanford had been diminished considerably which while lowering my income also
gave me more time. I decided my studies, while important, would need to come
second to my proactively looking for new business. Marco’s comments made me
realize while my lifestyle had become very empowering in terms of my own
personal power, my habits had also led me into a comfort zone which I needed to
break out of.
The first event I did for 2005 was a conference where I
got myself invited to give a speech at “Gestión de Conocimiento,” which roughly
translates into Knowledge Management, in Caracas on January 28. While they
didn’t pay for me to do the conference, something which I had resisted quite
adamantly when it was proposed previously, it did give me a chance to get in
front of a group again, something I desperately needed to do. I found, as time
passed between gigs, I wasn’t as polished and I needed to get out much more.
During this time I was still doing evaluations on a scale of 1 to 5 and I
scored an acceptable 4.66 on my first outing.
While I began “moving and shaking” much more, my second
outing of the year didn’t come until March 1 when I did a lunch presentation
for ChevronTexaco. I was on fire and the evaluation came back at 4.98. Every
single participant gave me a “5” except for one who gave me a “4.” This was a
tremendous boost to my confidence and gave me renewed energy to “mover ese culo,”
move my butt, as we say in Spanish.
La Quinceañera
During this entire time we were gearing up for a huge
event. Chanty was heading towards her 15th birthday and she wanted
a party. In 2003 for her 15th birthday, instead of a party, Alicia
chose to take a trip to see her friends in Argentina.
I had no awareness about what was involved when Chanty
expressed her desire for a party instead of a trip. In Venezuela, as in other parts of Latin America, a 15th birthday party isn’t just a party;
it’s an occasion, a big bash, with lots of bells and whistles. One of the
first things Haydee and Chanty organized was the “Cuadrilla.” This involved a
group of friends and family getting together to learn a special dance at the
beginning of the party to introduce the “Quinceañera.” The group came to our home
for several weekends in a row to practice under the direction of Haydee’s
cousin Norah, the choreographer. The boys, whose classic attire was huge pants
and chains, cleaned up very nicely as they were all decked out in black suits,
shirts and pink ties. The girls were dressed in pink and, while the material
was the same, each girl designed her own elegant dress. Chantalle wore a
spectacular dress, which we had made for her. The seamstress, who made us
sweat bullets towards the end, created a magnificent gown; our beautiful Chanty
looked amazing!
Ama and Ito made the trip to Caracas for the big event
and they also were appropriately attired. Not to be outdone, Haydee and Alicia
were radiant in their new dresses. I was decked out in a great tux with tails.
On the day of the big event, a couple of make-up artists came over to do the
girls’ makeup and hair. While they did an overall good job, I did catch Ama
“depoofing” her hair before we went to the event.
As has become our unfortunate custom, we arrived later
than we wanted. Nonetheless, this custom is rampant when it comes to parties
and there weren’t many people who arrived on time at the place we had rented
for the event. The place was decorated elegantly and had two levels. The
bottom floor was for the tables and dancing and the upper level had a bar and
the bathrooms.
As things began, the Cuadrilla came down the stairs from
the bar as the photographer we hired snapped pictures right and left. Chanty
came down looking spectacularly radiant! Daniel Tulipano, Chanty’s cousin,
presented her with her shoes and the Cuadrilla was off and dancing. As they
twisted and twirled we all smiled and clapped. While they later laughed at a
few miscues, it all looked wonderful to me.
Next was my time to shine. As proud papa, I got the
first dance which was done to Waltz music. The pride I felt as I stepped into
the middle of the floor with my gorgeous little lady was tremendous. Unaware
of how I actually danced, I was caught up in the moment and had shivers of
immense pride and pleasure which coursed through my body as I officially
presented my sweet Chanty.
Ito, who had practiced diligently and had even taken
classes to make sure he had all the right steps, followed and he beamed as he glided
with Chanty. Ito has been a special part of Alicia and Chanty’s lives since
they were born and his emotion and sense of pride was evident as he twisted and
twirled with Chanty as we all looked on. Then the rest of the male family
members, Johnny, Chichito and the cousins had their turns dancing with our
princess.
Chanty’s boyfriend, Rodrigo, hopped in and while not
professing to be much of a dancer, charged forth valiantly to let everyone know
he was also up to the challenge. Then we all jumped onto the dance floor and
waltzed away as the disc jockey expertly managed the music.
The party kicked into high gear as people then began
dipping into the whiskey and other spirits which we offered. There were hors
d’oeuvres, a cheese table and a chocolate table to keep people munching through
the night. We later surprised Chanty and many of the gentlemen in the crowd
when a group of Brazilians came to do a special dance at the party. One dark
girl and one light girl awed the crowd with their ability to shake their booties.
They grabbed people out of the crowd to the delight of the men, under the
watchful eyes of the women.
Later on came the “Cotillón” as the music cranked up and
a guy and a girl on stilts, dressed like clowns, came into the crowd and gave
away all kinds of party favors including hats, masks and lots of noise makers.
We all joined in the fun as we bumped and grinded to music which ran the full
gamut from Latin Salsa to old time Rock and Roll!
As the night wore on, the liquor began to seep into
everyone’s blood stream, the ties were loosened and we all settled into a wonderful
evening of food, drink and dance. A few people left as the night progressed,
leaving the hard core partiers hanging on and finally leaving the party at
about 5 in the morning.
This was truly a wonderful experience and while the
preparation was much more intense than I believe either Haydee or I expected,
it was, in fact, a “once in a lifetime” experience which I wouldn’t trade for
the world!
A couple of weeks into our third semester at the UCV for
Group Dynamics something happened which soured my feelings about the program.
Francisco Novoa had been my partner and new found "pana" throughout
the process. We established an excellent working relationship which had
expanded into the professional arena as well. As partners, we did everything
together as far as school was concerned.
One of the teachers saw something in Francisco which
bothered her and while I passed the course with the equivalent of a
"C" she flunked him. I couldn't believe it when we first found out!
As we thought about what had happened, we were convinced there
was an incident which had caused her to act the way she did. Several months
before, Francisco had an open course to which he invited us all, as he had done
several times before. Four of us decided to go. Francisco asked us to pay for
the costs of meals and lodging, which I felt was reasonable. During the third
day of the three-day process, one of the girls from Group Dynamics got upset
with the way Francisco was managing the process of helping one of the
participants through a difficult time. She got up in the middle of the
conference and told him he was not managing things the way she thought they
should be handled. He told her he would be happy to talk to her at the break
about what was going on and she stormed out. After the break neither she nor
my two other classmates returned.
We were convinced this incident was relayed to the
teacher who flunked Francisco. We couldn’t figure out what else might have
happened to make her do what she did. We had done virtually all of the
assignments together and other than missing a few classes, we still fell within
her initial guidelines. We felt the girls had somehow voiced their
disagreement regarding the way he conducted the meeting they attended. While
his style certainly goes much deeper into the emotional process than I choose
to delve, I don’t believe he does any harm and do believe he is insightful as
to the processes I have seen him conduct.
I felt he was being ganged up on by a group of
tattletales who really weren’t being fair about what transpired. I was witness
to the entire process, which we felt triggered the teacher’s ire, and I didn’t
believe it warranted the type of “punishment” he was receiving. The solution
to his flunking out was to retake the same class. The class was held on Friday
which was the same day open events he held typically started. While he made
adjustments and canceled some events for one semester, he wasn’t about to do it
again particularly under the circumstances which, in our belief, had led to his
flunking the class. He decided to call it quits and he dropped out.
My enthusiasm in the program quickly faded. Suddenly my
respect for the professors and the quality of the program were in question.
While I had learned a lot and I felt my time had been well spent, I was unsure
whether or not I should continue. In the end, I decided there were more reasons
to stay than to leave so I stuck it out.
As is often the case, time brought new perspective on the
whole ordeal and I now realize the professor was concerned with the way
Francisco conducts his workshops. While it is difficult to say who was “right”
and who was “wrong,” I now realize we all manage our own truths and realities.
I got a new partner by the name of Zoraida Colmenarez. We
began working together and while our partnership didn’t initially flow as smoothly
as it had with Francisco, we established a good working relationship. We
finished all our class work and concentrated on doing a group intervention,
which was to form the basis of our thesis. I’m not sure if we were a bit too
relaxed about the process or exactly what happened. What is for sure is we
really didn’t go through the process exactly as we should have. When it came
time to present what we had done, we realized we hadn’t jumped through all the
hoops we were supposed to. Additionally, Zoraida had several unfortunate
incidents which included losing her sister to a brain tumor and losing her son
to gang related violence.
Nevertheless, I got out of the program what I wanted. I
wasn’t into making up a bunch of data to “cut and paste” our thesis just for
the sake of getting a piece of paper which was supposed to somehow make me
“smarter.” I have made my own peace with the whole situation realizing things
are not always what they seem. The teacher saw something, somehow which didn’t
quite settle with her and she made a decision. She did what she thought was
right and based it on her own experience and criteria. Mine is not to question
why or how, rather to learn from each lesson life serves as it comes. As a
footnote, I later met with the teacher, made peace and signed a copy of Un
Don Especial for her.
My Lunar Letter in April of 2005 is one which has marked
a profound difference in the way I conduct my conferences, seminars and
workshops. The idea behind the message comes from Michael Michalko in his
excellent book, Thinkertoys. He says our primary limits to creativity and
innovative thinking are fears, uncertainties and doubts. After analyzing this
theory in my Lunar Letter I conducted a survey where I asked my approximately 1,400
direct subscribers to the Lunar Letter, “What do you do to destroy fears,
uncertainties and doubts?”
I was pleasantly surprised with the number of responses I
received. Typically, when I send out the Lunar Letter, I receive a handful of
responses many times from the same people. With this survey I heard from many
people from whom I typically never hear. I received responses which in some
cases were long and elaborate while others were short and concise. There were
two profound conclusions which I now integrate into my work.
The first has to do with the importance of religion in so
many people’s lives. Several responses to my query simply stated, “My faith in
God!” While I believe it is wise to stay away from politics and religion in my
work, this made me realize how important religion is for so many people and the
importance of faith in our ability to Bounce Back from difficult situations!
While faith often comes in the form of religion, it isn’t always so. Faith can
also be in our own capacity, in humanity in general or in some other greater
power which doesn’t necessarily have to do with religion. When we have faith
there will be a tomorrow and when we can positively influence our direction, we
are better able to handle life’s difficulties and Bounce Back positively.
The other idea which leaped out of the page, as I
tabulated the results of the survey, is how important “action” is to overcome
fears, uncertainties and doubts. While we can have a positive attitude, faith,
preparation and confidence in ourselves, unless, we take some type of action to
move forward, we will more than likely remain stuck in the muck.
As a result, I modified an exercise I had learned
initially with Joel Weldon and adapted it to include doing exercise and to have
our “reach exceed our grasp,” as Robert Browning so eloquently stated. At the
end of the exercise I ask the participants to reach for the sky, then to the
sides and finally throw their hands out in front of them saying, “Action
destroys the FUDs!” In Spanish, which is the language I have used for most of
my events, I ask them to say, “La Acción Destruye los DIMs!” On the final
movement of throwing their hands out in front of them I tell them to throw me
all their fears, uncertainties and doubts. Fortunately, while I believe the
visual and physical metaphor is powerful, not many of their fears, uncertainties
and doubts have penetrated my being.
While the exercise has several different objectives, I
use it often during my courses and conferences to energize the audience and get
them moving when there is a drop in energy. While I am sure not everyone connects
with the activity, many come up to me after the event or have written me later
telling me this particular idea was the one which had the most impact on them.
Since I have had such positive feedback from the idea, I integrate it into most
of my work as one of my “signature ideas.”
By this time I had my book Un Don Especial written
and translated into English as A Special Gift. I was now on a mission
to get published. My initial idea was to publish the book in Spanish and
English under one cover. One side would be in Spanish and the other in
English. As my quest began to find a publisher, I went to the internet and
began to search for answers.
One article I came across was written by a publisher in Argentina. He was very forthright in his approach, as the Argentines can be! He said 95%
of the authors go about finding a publisher, “the wrong way.” He said
typically they try to find, “someone who knows someone in the publishing
business.” Once they have succeeded, they call the publisher and say they are
a friend of so and so, and indicate they would like to set an appointment to
meet. Out of courtesy to the mutual friend, the publisher will sometimes
agree. During the appointment the bulk of the time is spent talking about
where and how they each know the mutual acquaintance. Then as the meeting is
about to end the publisher says, “Ok, let’s see what you have.” At this point
the author whips out his or her manuscript, which represents many hours, days,
months and sometimes years of preparation, and gently passes the manuscript to
the publisher. The publisher leafs quickly through the document and typically
says, “Ok, let me take a look at it and I’ll get back to you.” As the author
heads out of the building full of hope and anticipation, the manuscript has
often already been pitched into “file 13” or delegated to some lonely pile of
papers never again to be seen.
The publisher from Argentina went on to say this dynamic
occurs not because of a lack of interest, rather because of the tremendous
volume of manuscripts they receive. They are not able to closely review each
document they receive. He suggested a much different approach and gave
specific examples. He said the first step should be to write a “Query Letter”
of no more than one page. The letter should include what the book is about and,
more importantly, why the publisher should consider it. In addition, the end
of the letter should indicate an “Editorial Proposal” is available should the
publisher want to further consider the book.
If the publisher expresses an interest in the book, then
and only then should the Editorial Proposal, consisting of more concise details
along with an example of the style, be given to the publisher. The manuscript
should be given to the publisher, according to this individual’s article, only
if there is interest after reading the Editorial Proposal.
I immediately connected with what this publisher had to
say with regards to getting my book published as I was initially thinking about
going down the “wrong path” he first mentioned! I developed a Query Letter for
Un Don Especial and the first company I approached was Pomaire. They
were the publishers for Carlos Fraga, a well known television personality and
author of several self help books. In addition, they are well known in Venezuela as specializing in books which have to do with self-help and personal
development.
After receiving my Query Letter, they called me and asked
for the Editorial Proposal. I hand delivered the proposal on May 30, 2005. On May
31 they called and asked me for my manuscript. On June 1, I submitted Un
Don Especial to Editorial Pomaire for their consideration. I was in
seventh heaven! I was convinced this was my ticket to the big leagues. I was,
after all, an “accomplished” public speaker and my book was, of course,
spectacular in my opinion. I was already a legend in my own mind!
Thus began a waiting game as they picked apart and
analyzed my work of art. At least this is what I believed was happening.
Behind the scenes I’m sure they were up to many other things, one of which was
considering publishing my book. In the meantime, through my conversations with
Pomaire and also with several other people, including my Spanish teacher from
the Albuquerque Academy Martha Mentch, I was beginning to think my idea of
publishing the book in Spanish and English wasn’t quite as great as I initially
thought.
Mrs. Mentch told me she generally did everything she
could to keep her Spanish students from getting ahold of the English
translations of the books she uses in her classes. To publish the book in both
languages would immediately defeat her purpose and, as far as she was
concerned, take it out of contention as a possible book for her students.
While she was kind and diplomatic in what she told me, the message hit home.
In addition, here in Venezuela, I realized most people do not speak English nor
are they in the process of learning to speak English. As a result, the added
expense of printing two books in one was not justified.
While I had heard of people like Dr. Seuss and J.K.
Rowling who had been turned down time and again by editors, I was beginning to
think perhaps I had hit a gold mine. “Maybe my case will be different!” I
thought. While I kept in constant contact with Pomaire and they gave me a
glimmer of hope, as the days passed, and the months dragged on, I began to
realize getting published was, in fact, a tough row to hoe.
I learned many things during my studies of Group Dynamics
at the Universidad Central de Venezuela including the basics of many different
psychological approaches and new ways to manage groups. Perhaps the most
valuable lesson was the difference between public speaker and facilitator.
As I started my career as a public speaker in 2002, I was
primarily interested in standing up in front of groups to give “keynote”
presentations. I was a happy camper when I could get in and out quickly. As I
mentioned previously, some of my first experiences in longer programs were very
stressful. Through the Group Dynamics program, I learned there is a world of
difference between a public speaker and a facilitator. A public speaker is the
“star” of the show and is up in front of a group to make a tremendous impact in
a short period of time. A facilitator, on the other hand, takes a back seat
and lets each of the participants be the “star” of the show.
One of my main worries as I began doing longer programs
was how I was going to talk for eight or sixteen hours straight. As I
experienced the role of the facilitator, I realized it is not the facilitator,
rather the participants, who should do most of the work in order to optimize
learning. The facilitator, as the name so adeptly implies, is there merely to
“facilitate” the process.
While I intuitively knew this to be true, the learning
process came to a head as my classes at the university came to a close. I
often kidded with my classmates telling them. “I used to think I was perfect.
It’s only now with your help I realize how far I am from being perfect!” This
was a response to several deep psychological processes we explored and, in part,
because I realized the more I know, the more I need to know.
As May, June and July of 2005 rolled around, I conducted several
workshops which deepened my understanding of the facilitator’s role. In
addition, these experiences aided me in differentiating the function of a
public speaker vs. facilitator.
The first event was one I did jointly with Francisco
Novoa. The event was a full day event with sales people of Cofasa Laboratories
in Margarita. As we prepared for the event, I was very confident in terms of
the material and what we were going to do. While the group was much larger,
about 100 people, than any other groups I had for a full day, things in the
planning stage went very smoothly. As the event drew near, my nerves got the
better of me. While Francisco was very calm about the whole thing, I was a
nervous wreck!
Francisco had conducted many similar events and he was
confident his experience would lead him through with the right words and
activities at the right time. I, on the other hand, had dealt with no more
than about 25 people for a full day and was very apprehensive going into the
event. We arrived the night before and went to inspect where the event was to
take place. We were led to an auditorium with about 250 seats, a large podium
and all we needed in terms of audio and visual requirements. Francisco
immediately said this wasn’t going to work. For the types of activities we had
planned, we needed more open space and a place for the participants to
interact.
Francisco immediately said the foyer where the coffee
break was going to be served was the best place for the event. I could feel my
stress level rise and course through my body. I had no idea what he was
thinking about. It was already close to 10 PM and we were scheduled for an
early start the following day. Francisco solicited some help and we got some
people to bring chairs into the open area. He showed the people how to set the
chairs up and in no time the room started to take shape. We moved tables here
and there, made other adjustments, asked for some plants and by about 11 PM the
room was ready to rock.
As we went back to our room, I realized how much I still
had to learn about conducting events. Without him I would have taken their
initial suggestion of the auditorium and we would have had a half filled room
with people spread out all over the place. Experience is a wonderful thing and
sometimes the only way to gain such experience is by banging our heads into the
wall a few times. Fortunately, in this case, I had Francisco there to stop me
as my head was headed full speed into the wall!
I didn’t sleep well and the next morning awoke still with
a bundle of nerves. I really couldn’t explain why. Francisco’s nonchalant
attitude, which was enhanced because he took his wife Claudia and his young
son, only served to heighten my degree of stress and anxiety. As the time drew
near for us to start, we went to the site and made a few tweaks before letting
everyone in. I learned the importance of creating ambience and expectation in
an event. People walked in with music rocking. We introduced each other “off
mike” in the background and I saw how each little thing built on another to
create just the right atmosphere.
While people congratulated us both profusely after the
event and I knew things went well, I was still troubled by my apprehension with
the event. My initial feeling afterwards, besides being extremely relieved,
was I really didn’t like longer type workshops with so many people. Over the
next several days, I realized much of my stress was due to the fact I had just
never done such an event. In addition, I realized I had ghosts of my nightmare
at “Salón Naiguatá” which crept in at the most inopportune moments.
Breakthrough challenges with resilience rather than resisting
problems.
Recently I have had fears and concerns with regards to my
ability to conduct large workshops and conferences. At the same time, a
reduced level of activity with Inspire has caused Fears, Uncertainties and
Doubts to join me as unwanted visitors in my thoughts and analysis. Nevertheless,
I am recovering from the bottom of a bounce with certain learning based on
recent events!
My initial thought is that this challenge is simply a test to
see if my theory about eppa² really works or if it is just words with an empty
promise. My second thought has to do with the relationship I have been working
on about Bouncing Back and resilience. They are, in fact, one in the same.
While the best translation into Spanish still eludes me, “elasticidad” seems to
capture the essence of the word.
Resilience to challenge vs. Resistence to problems and change
Therein lies a tremendous possibility to develop a powerful
presentation based on dynamic principles which drive and determine change.
œ
Resistence vs. Resilience
œ
Problems vs. Challenge
œ
Creative ability to manage change
One of my fears recently has to do with my ability to
effectively manage groups and realize my chosen profession. Those doubts led
me to invite Francisco Novoa to co-facilitate a group process in Margarita for
COFASA.
What a great decision! Ghosts of my Citibank ordeal were
still lurking on the horizon. Breaking through those fears and doubts is, I am
certain, an important part of my professional development.
Among the things I have learned with Francisco’s assistance:
œ Techniques
and strategies to make a room set-up work
œ Tape or
spots for chairs to give versatility to moving chairs out of the center of the
room and putting them back
œ Creating
ambience with plants
œ Chair
set-up and movement
œ Audio
strategies such as keeping an audio source going constantly to create
atmosphere at any time by simply turning up the music
œ How to
move a crowd and keep energy levels going
œ The
importance of certain kinds of music and certain times
œ Creating
a key word like “attitude” or “change” which requires everyone to change places
and thus give energy a boost when it is down
œ Creating
healthy competition between certain sections of the audience with activities
œ “Ode
to Joy” or other music for effective close to bring rise to emotion
œ “La
hora del bueno” to get people dancing and moving
œ “Risoterapia”
œ The power
of dancing
Most importantly, I have learned one of my primary fears is
unfounded. My fear was, “Where will I get enough material to keep talking and
entertaining in longer programs?”
To date I have written 24 Lunar Letters. Each is a topic on
which I can talk for a minimum of 30 minutes giving explanations and creating
dynamics. In addition, I have several thoughts and ideas which can be further
developed which can also be used in a pinch.
The key is to be Prepared for any circumstance and have several
ideas “in the hole” just in case. What Francisco now knows is the result of
many years of learning, trial, error and experience.
I am creating my own base of experience which will be the
basis for my particular style. Most importantly, I have learned I need to go
with the flow and relax! I need to enjoy the process and not worry about what
might go wrong rather concentrate on what I can do to make things go right.
Those who flow as life flows know
They need no other force;
They feel no wear, they fell no tear,
Need no mending, no repair…
~ Tao Te Ching
Since I had several workshops scheduled for June and
July, I decided to go with the flow and see what happened. It’s amazing how my
degree of certainty increased as I strode confidently into the next events.
After having lived through my experience with Francisco in Margarita, I had new
found energy for my next events which included several days in Puerto Ordaz
with IESA and a two day event for my Group Dynamics course.
Everything went smoothly and evaluations were excellent!
While I still had much to learn and continue to learn, I felt the exhilaration
of going over the hump from public speaker to facilitator. More importantly, I
learned to like doing both types of events. While the mood and energy is quite
different for each, I found they both have a different set of challenges and
satisfactions.
Grand Canyon
We had made plans and were all set to go with our friends
Carlos and Rosario Rodriguez to their condo in Playa del Carmen in México when
Hurricane Emily wreaked havoc in México and on our plans. Emily was a category
5 hurricane which weakened slightly to a category 4 hurricane just before it smashed
first into Cozumel and then into Playa del Carmen on July 18, 2005, just three
days before we were scheduled to leave. Carlos and Rosario had left earlier
and we managed to contact them only once after Emily destroyed the town where
they had their condo. While the communication was broken and unclear, when we
finally got through to them, the last thing I heard Carlos say before the line
went dead was, “If you can make alternate plans, do it!”
I immediately got on the phone to the airlines and, with
the help of my wonderful friend and travel agent Pedro Lopez, was able to
accelerate our arrival into Albuquerque, which was our ultimate destination.
Afterwards Carlos said we could have gone, and while they had to stay in a
hotel for a few nights, he told us it was quite an experience to lay witness to
the aftermath of nature’s powerful force.
While we unfortunately missed the Mexican leg of our
trip, I’ve always believed in making the best of a given situation. We were
now afforded an extra week at the front end of our vacation in the states. When
we first started planning our trip, I wanted to go to the Grand Canyon.
Initial difficulty with reservations and the invite for a week in the sun in
México changed our initial plans. As we pulled into Albuquerque, I had the Grand Canyon in my mind.
I had talked to Maya about camping several times and this
now seemed like the perfect opportunity. We managed a critical few objectives
in Albuquerque and then hit the road to see one of the biggest holes in the
ground.
We were able to hook up with Haydee’s friend Lucy and her
husband the first night as we stayed in a campground outside of Flagstaff, Arizona. Of considerable note was our need to get warm clothes when we realized
how cold it was and how unprepared we were for the weather. Maya and I went to
a thrift shop nearby and hit the jackpot. After a quick trip to stock up on
munchies and beer, we were back to the campsite.
Camping has always been one of my favorite things to do.
I love the fact each experience is generally very different and unique. This
trip was no exception. After dealing with the chill of the mountains, we
settled down and enjoyed the first evening talking with Lucy and cooking up
some grub.
We headed for the Grand Canyon the next day and quickly
found a very nice campsite which we had previously reserved on the internet.
We were on the outer edge of a curve in the campsite and separated from the
other campers. We went into town to get a few supplies and had something to
eat. I could see the sun starting to go down on the horizon and desperately
began to feel the need to see “The Big Hole in the Ground!” While we had
earlier gone into town and come within several feet of a path going out to the
rim, we were in the car and unable to get out to see the canyon.
I soon realized not everyone shared my enthusiasm to go
to the rim. Nonetheless, I was determined. I had been dreaming about seeing
the Grand Canyon again. While I had been there a couple of times as a kid and
then again when I was older with Haydee, the incredible nature of the canyon always
takes my breath away. I was soon able to garner support and we all decided it
would be best to take the shuttle which shuffled people to and fro rather than
to have to look for parking when we got there. We had only one small
difficulty, when we got to the shuttle, we learned they didn’t allow dogs.
This as such wouldn’t have presented a difficulty except for the fact Maya had
taken their little Dachshund Nala.
While I was later chastised for the decision, I basically
told Maya, “Sorry I guess we’ll see you later…” Haydee, the girls and I stayed
on the bus as Maya, Allan, Laura and Nala stood looking on sadly as the bus
pulled away. I’ve learned one thing in several years on this planet. It’s not
often you get a second chance to experience many of the things in life which
are so often gone in an instant. As a result, I have decided to live life and
love life breathing in the intensity of each and every moment.
I knew a glimpse of the great Grand Canyon at dusk was
priceless and would more than likely be far more intense than hanging around a
campsite. As it turns out we arrived to the rim just in time to witness one of
the earth’s most incredible works of art as it basked below a spectacular
sunset which glowed in the early evening.
The canyon was just as I remembered it. As I walked up
to the edge the incredible feeling I had experienced previously came rushing
back. An intense feeling of energy emanated from the depths of the canyon seeping
out over the rim entering my body. Over the years my love of nature has held
true. The powerful serenity of nature confirms the virtues of patience and
perseverance. So many great changes are made in small wonderful ways each day,
hour and minute of life. These changes are often so subtle we are unable to perceive
and value their significance. This is what makes each moment so sumptuous and
significant.
The mood was somewhat somber when we returned to the
campsite. I decided, while I was affected by the emotions of others, I was
impervious to their debilitating demeanor. I was chastised for my
insensitivity in not staying back with Maya when they wouldn’t let her dog Nala
on the shuttle. While we all have to make difficult choices, a few hours of
reprimand were worth the powerful intoxication which filled my body with the
energy flowing from the Grand Canyon into my soul. Life is a never ending
odyssey of choice. I have learned while we can’t always be right, we can learn
to live with the choices we make.
The next day I awoke early and headed off into the woods
on a path which led down to the rim. In a matter of minutes I was wandering
around one of life’s most spectacular sights in the early morning light. The
canyon appears to move and shift in the light. In one of the true dichotomies of
life it appears to remain the same while changing constantly.
I chose a nice flat place on the rim, took off my shoes
and my shirt and did some morning yoga. With each breath I felt the energy of
the air flow through my lungs. My eyes took in the spectacular beauty endless
years had carved into the canyon and I was at peace. I realized I would be
able to recall this moment in an instant by merely closing my eyes and
accessing the part of my brain which housed these incredible images.
While I believe it’s possible to do exercise anywhere and
at just about any time, I also realize the power of being connected in a time
and place which allows us to become one with nature. The feeling which comes
as power permeates our soul and recharges us with energy to continue on is nothing
less than spectacular. Magical moments come sometimes once in a lifetime. We
can, in fact, let preparation meet opportunity so we may bathe in the beauty of
the moment. Yesterday’s trials and tribulations as well as tomorrow’s worry
and woe flitter away as we inspire the intensity of this instant which
envelopes us in the here and the now.
I was privileged to spend time on my own edge of the
universe as much of the world slept and only an occasional bird made its way
into my own private reserve. I was in a place and in a space where I was one
with the world, where each breath brought fresh hope and faith that things were
exactly as they should be. Just as time and adversity have carved their
searing sores into the side of the mountain, I also realize we, as human
beings, find our true character through our ability to overcome difficulty and
rise above uncertainty.
After spending time at the campsite with the gang and
kicking back into the early afternoon, I once again began to feel an itch
inside which pointed my toes toward the rim. Haydee, Alicia, Chantalle and I
jumped on the shuttle again and headed out to the rim for a new adventure. It
was an experience we would not soon forget.
We carefully surveyed a map and chose our destination.
Off to the south was Hopi Point which we were told was among the best points to
observe the sunset. We got off the shuttle several stops before our final
destination and decided we would “walk into the sunset” on the way to the
lookout. A storm had moved in and while it wasn’t raining when we started our
adventure, the canyon was filled with storm clouds and showers filtered down
into the canyon.
We walked out onto one point which surged into the canyon
and had a truly “electrifying” experience. There was a tremendous charge of
electricity in the air which literally set our hair standing up on end. As we
laughed and took pictures of the looming storm clouds in the background with
our hair going straight up in the air, we noticed several other people running.
We finished our picture taking and decided we also should get off the point as
it didn’t seem safe. We later read in a local news bulletin how lighting tends
to build up a charge of electricity where it’s going to strike. One of the
indications this is happening is when your hair stands up on end!
Unaware of the danger we actually faced, we continued our
walk on the rim toward our lookout. The storm clouds and lightening increased
as we reached our destination. Strangely enough, it had still not begun to
rain where we were and as a result we witnessed a spectacular show of
lightening as the storm passed through the canyon.
We found a place on the rim with a clear view of the
sunset which was unobstructed to the west. Just as the sun was doing its
flippy flop of different colors and shades, a ranger drove around the bend of
the lookout. His voice blared through the public address system saying, “Move
away from the rim! Lightning strikes the rim of the canyon!”
He didn’t say, “Lightening might strike the rim,” instead
he said, “Lightening strikes the rim!” The intensity of the moment settled in
as we saw people running for buses which had been brought in to whisk the crowd
which congregated at Hopi Point to see the sunset. We saw the mad rush for the
buses and decided to avoid the stampede. We got off to one side so as not to
be directly on the rim and settled into a nice spot to see the last rays of the
sun settle into the distance.
After most of the people had gone, another bus came and
we boarded easily. As we wound our way back to the village, the rain really
started to come down hard. In the desert, storms can be brutal and unforgiving.
This storm was both. Originally, the bus we were on was going to one central
area where we would have to disembark and then embark on another “ship” which
would wade through the rain to our final destination. It was raining so hard
the buses appeared to be ships breaking through waves which had formed in the
street.
The bus driver announced because of the storm, we would
have a different destination. While many of the people on the bus groaned as
they were being taken farther away from their destination, the four of us
smiled in delight as the shuttle’s new trajectory would now go right past our
campground. As we arrived to our stop, the rain slowed to a light pitter
patter and we took the trail which led us to our mother ship. As it was
already quite dark, we decided to get off the trail and stick to the road where
it was easier to see.
As the rain began to pick up, Maya appeared in their Suburban
and rescued us from the rain. As we headed back to the campsite the rain began
once again to pour from the heavens. We were amazed! We had faced an
electrifying experience on the rim and been lucky enough to be out of the rain
and in two different vehicles when the rain began coming down in buckets.
The evening was a blur of shivering and damp sleeping
bags. While I’m not sure any of us slept for more than 30 minutes at a time
during the night, we all made it to the next morning. The clouds had moved on
and the sun was streaming through the trees. We realized we were alive!
I realized my not so secret desire to stay another day
was in jeopardy so I donned my hiking shoes, my camera and a hat and marched
out to the rim for what I was sure would be my last morning in paradise. As I
arrived I decided this time to head north rather than south as I had the
previous morning. After walking no more than five minutes I came to a point
which jutted spectacularly out into the canyon. I walked out to the point and
stood at the edge of time accompanied by a lone twisted pine tree which held
guard at the edge. There was a large flat rock beside the tree and it was here
I decided to do my morning exercise.
I took my camera and snapped a couple of shots of the
place to ensure I would remember each rock and curve. Somewhere around the
middle of my routine which consisted of yoga with a couple of Tai Chi moves
scattered in for good measure, a couple came out onto the point. They seemed to
be in their own little world, as was I, so we coexisted peacefully together in
this spectacular space.
As I came to the end of my routine, it dawned on me I had
the opportunity of a lifetime! While the lady’s boyfriend or husband had
wandered off into the distance, she was close by and could serve as my
photographer. I figured I had nothing to lose and everything to gain so I
asked her if she could snap some photos. She happily obliged. As I went
through my routine move by move, I told her “now” and she got a picture of me
on the edge of the universe in each of my favorite poses. To this day these
are some of my most treasured photos as they immediately take me to another
place and time where I felt truly connected with the world and with life.
For many years one of our main challenges when we go to Albuquerque for travel is to make sure we are able to spend quality time with both my mom
and dad. When they were first divorced, it seemed almost impossible to make
everyone happy. There was a time or two when we ended up having two
Thanksgiving dinners just to keep the peace. As the old saying goes,
"Time heals all wounds." While I'm not sure all wounds have been
healed, time has given us new perspective and, I believe, we have gotten much
better at the “Burque Shuffle.”
This particular trip stands out as one of our more
spectacular efforts in terms of spending quality time with everyone. While
Hurricane Emily curtailed our plans to México, it afforded us an excellent
chance to spend time with Maya and her family. When we got back to Albuquerque, we geared up for the second major event of our trip which was a trip up to Colorado with Ito and Ama.
Maya, Allan and Laura were also part of this leg, so we
packed up a couple of cars and headed North for Cuchara, Colorado. My mom and
Ito had made plans to stay at a cabin. While the place was billed as something
just this side of heaven, we really didn't know what to expect. As we drove up
I-25 the expectation built as we caravanned to our new destination. While I
normally like driving through Espanola and Taos when I go to Colorado for
nostalgia sake, this time we stuck to the interstate.
We made good time and before we knew it, we were asking
for directions for the final phase of our journey. While the weather was a bit
rainy, we were in good spirits and found our place to stay was, in fact,
wonderful. While we had been in Cuchara once before several years earlier on a
golfing trip with David and Carol Jones, it had been a long time ago and
everything seemed new to us.
We tooled around the mountains looking for places to fish
and/or just hang out. While the fishing end of the trip never really panned
out too well, we did get to a couple of beautiful places where we thoroughly
enjoyed the great outdoors.
As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing quite like
being up in the mountains or on a wonderful beach to get the creative juices
flowing again. Nature has a wonderful way of first humbling me into the
reality of how insignificant most of our major challenges seem to be and then recharging
my body with the energy I need to face life's most difficult moments to forge
ahead. This particular experience had both effects.
Perhaps one of the most memorable moments was when I
almost burned down the cabin. We decided we would have a barbeque for dinner.
As the coals were nice and hot and we were getting ready to throw on the meat,
a slight drizzle intensified to rain which threatened to literally put out our
fire. I decided it would be a good idea to put the “Barbie” under the overhang
on the cabin so we could continue with our fun. As I began to move the barbeque
grill, two things happened. I quickly determined that the handholds were much
hotter than I anticipated and one of the legs buckled under. As we were on a
wooden deck, which appeared extremely flammable, I decided dumping the hot
coals onto the deck wasn't a good idea. I quickly looked around and saw there
was a small incline at the end of the deck which had rocks and seemed less
susceptible to causing a major fire. I gritted my teeth as the metal burned
into my hands and walked, very quickly, to the incline. I was able to set the
barbeque grill down on the two remaining legs and a rock to keep from causing a
disaster. Instead of burning down a cabin, I ended up with a couple of burns
on my hand which, while painful, was preferable.
After spending a wonderful time in Cuchara, Ito, Ama,
Maya, Allan and Laura headed back to Albuquerque while we continued north to
see Haydee's cousin, Crazy Ivan.
Ivan left Venezuela for the United States in the early
1980's, at about the same time as Haydee. Since moving to Denver, he has never
returned to Venezuela. As a result, whenever we can, we make sure we see him.
Ivan is always full of surprises and while this time was fairly uneventful, we
had a great time. In the space of a few days we actually accomplished quite a
lot. We went to Boulder, hiked around the Flatirons with my cousin Tamra and
her boyfriend Ed, who would later become her husband. We then revisited the
park where we had gotten married almost to the day 20 years previously. We
went to Elitch Gardens for a fun-filled day of roller coasters and rides. We
ate at several restaurants including a Mexican place and a Steak house. In
addition, it was wonderful to see my friends Rick Schuettpelz and Guy Brazell,
whom I hadn't seen in quite a while.
As we headed back to Albuquerque on I-25, we turned West
at Walsenburg to take my preferred route back to Burque town. Going over La Veta Pass always brings back great memories of the many times I traveled back and forth to
CU Boulder. The only thing which was missing was a good dose of Dire Straits
which was the music I had cranked so many times before as I headed up and over
the continental divide.
We arrived into San Luis and headed out to San Pablo to take a trip back in time. This particular area is etched into my mind as my
base and my beginning. As I drove along the small road which led to where my
mom was raised, I thought about my grandfather, "El Patron" who used
to scare the heck out of people as he drove longer than he probably should
have. People normally just moved out of the way when the saw him coming and gave
him the classic "San Luis Wave."
We pulled onto the dirt road which led to where my
grandmother lived and took time to look at the old schoolhouse where my mom
was, "learned all about the reading, riting and rithmetic." We took
pictures of the river and the place where Stuart and I played as kids including
one place where we were convinced somebody was buried. We took additional
photos of my grandmother’s house which was sold, much to the chagrin of certain
members of the family, after my Uncle Jack passed away.
We drove into my Aunt Helen's driveway and saw the
tractor where my Uncle Abel took Alicia and Chanty up on his knee to show us
all his most prized possession so many years before. Everything seemed to have
been frozen in time. Summer in the San Luis Valley is nothing short of
spectacular and as I tried to find my Aunt, I thought about how regardless of
how much things change, they do also remain the same.
My Aunt Helen was very happy to see us and we had a nice
visit. As usual she started moving around the kitchen giving us stuff to eat.
After spending time talking to her about my Uncle Abel and about their
daughter, my cousin Abby who died in a tragic car accident, we hit the road
again. I decided since I had learned to drive on these same dirt roads many
years before, it would be a good idea to do the same with my girls. Both
Alicia and Chanty took a turn at the wheel as we continued on our way through
the back road to see my Aunt Mabel at the other edge of town.
My Aunt Mabel was in fine spirits and while her memory was
fading, we had a nice visit with her and Earl. She told us about how she had
"robbed the cradle" with Earl after the death of my Uncle Eben. They
were married as she approached her 80th birthday and had been great for each
other. She then launched into a song with no warning and began singing for us
which gave us all a giggle.
We said our goodbyes and hopped into the car to continue
down South. As I pulled onto the highway, I became very emotional. I have
always believed death is just another part of life. I believe we should accept
death and celebrate the time someone had on earth with us rather than mourn the
fact they are gone.
While all this is perfectly rational and, at least to me,
makes complete sense, I realized this might very well be the last time I would
see my Aunt Mabel. Tears began to well up in my eyes and I could feel the
emotion of a great sense of loss which surged through my body. Fortunately,
just as we were heading out of San Luis, a beautiful rainbow appeared and
danced across the horizon. We stopped and got out of the car. Haydee, Alicia
and Chantalle all came and gave me a big hug as I cried. Why, I asked myself,
was I so sad if I knew in my heart of hearts that death was just another
natural part of life? Why should I be so said about my Aunt's impending
demise? She had lived a full life, on her terms and had touched the lives of
many people over the course of her wonderful life. I realized while it is easy
to be cold, calculating and reasoning about the true meaning of death, there is
little which can truly ease the pain when the time comes. We are all human and
as such are a bundle of emotions which can't be turned on and off as we would
do with hot and cold water. While I believe it is healthy to realize the time
will come for us all, I don't believe we are ever ready to see a loved one go.
As it turned out, my worst fears were confirmed as this was the last time we
saw my Aunt Mabel alive.
The Burque shuffle was just about to kick into high gear
once again as the shuffle now led us to Las Vegas with my dad. As usual, Las Vegas literally glitters and glows to welcome people to "Sin City." While neither Haydee nor I are really into gambling, we had a good time doing a
little gambling just to get our toes wet. The real highlight of the trip,
however, was the shopping and shows. While the ladies shopped, my dad and I
had some great time together talking and reflecting on so many different
things.
The show which sticks in my mind is the Cirque du Soleil.
As we walked into the theater, there were guys literally coming out of the sky
and scaring the heck out of people. Poor Chanty was one such victim. She just
about jumped out of her skin when one of the performers came down right in front
of her as she was looking the other way.
We successfully navigated the Burque shuffle and had a
great time in the process. Among other things, we visited New Mexico, Arizona, Colorado and Nevada. I even did a gig for the Disability Determination Service
for the State of New Mexico. The girls also got a bonus night out on the town
with Rori and her friends in a limo. This was a trip for the books and we took
many pictures to make sure the memories would last a lifetime.
We got back into Caracas in mid August, recharged and got
ready to rock. I had a series of several events which came together as I came
back to reality. I had two programs with IESA, one of which was in Caracas and the other which was in Valencia. While neither one of them was anything to
write home about, they went without a hitch.
I also did a program with the Canadian Embassy which was
the first in a series of two events which I did with them. It was a small
group and while I believe I hit the message they wanted me to cover, as with
the two events I just mentioned with IESA, nothing spectacular.
The one event which did go very well, just before I
headed back to Albuquerque for a few days, was a gig with Ford Motor Company.
I had been in conversations with them for almost two years regarding an event
they hold annually which they call, "Calidad de Vida" or Quality of
Life. We were able to come to an agreement on price and terms and I was off
like a rocket to Valencia to play with the big boys.
I have always realized the importance of having a
"stable of well-known clients." Putting a notch on my pistol grip
with Ford was certainly going to be a big help. I felt I was on fire and the
response from the participants was excellent!
In late September, I was off once again to New Mexico. Since time seems to whistle by so quickly, I decided to make a quick whistle
stop trip to Albuquerque to see my old buddies from High School and celebrate
our 25th reunion. Haydee and I decided it was probably best for her
to sit this one out so she didn’t make the trip. On my 20th reunion
she was there and it didn’t go too well.
I also took advantage of the trip to spend some good
quality time with my dad and Ito. I helped Ito with some technical
difficulties with their TV/VCR and computer and had time to go golfing with my
dad. I also was fortunate enough to be in Albuquerque for my dad’s wife,
Beth’s birthday on September 22. While it was my mom’s birthday on September
24, she was in California with my Aunt Gloria. My Uncle Denny was hospitalized
and, as it turned out, passed away the following month.
The first of the reunion events was on a Friday where
there was an alumni event at the Museum of Natural History. I arrived and
immediately started seeing a blast from the past. Young fresh faces of high
school which had turned into more mature slightly wrinkled versions 25 years
later. This first night was a blast! In particular I spent time with Steve
Silva, Gary Sanchez, CJ Coffin, Grant Bauer, and Bruce Amos.
One event which I found interesting was when a classmate,
who is also an author, arrived to the cocktail party. He came toting an
armload of his most recent of two books published. He asked people if they
were interested in buying one. I immediately said “yes” and bought one as did
a couple of other people. The price was modest and it made sense. What was
interesting was the fact he was then stuck carrying around the books which he
didn’t sell for the rest of the night. This particular incident would later be
a big influence on how I would manage distribution of my own books, Un Don
Especial and A Special Gift. If you can’t give a book to a friend
for cost reasons or for lack of stock, better not to take it. While it is a
delicate situation, this experience helped me determine my priorities and
objectives in terms of my books and friends.
After the cocktails we headed over to a local pub and had
a few drinks. With the way drinking and driving laws have been revamped,
however, we were all in all pretty subdued in our rowdiness. We did share some
laughs though and reminisced to no end about old times.
This night actually turned out to be the most enjoyable
of the organized events for me. I believe the combination of several classes
together, along with a great atmosphere led to the chemistry among us all. In
addition to seeing old friends from the Academy, I also saw Kippy Gibeau, one
of the people I had worked with while at Pamco and Liberty. As it turns out
she also was an Academy graduate and was among the first girls who went to the Academy.
She was there for her 30th anniversary so we were able to catch up
as well on old times.
The following day on Saturday, I went to the homecoming
football game where I saw a couple of other people though I wasn’t able to
coordinate with anybody to go to the game. Fortunately, Kippy was there with
some of her friends so I spent most of the time with them hanging out watching
the game.
Later on in the evening was the “big event” for the
reunion and it was held at Suzy Roberts’ house. While the planning and the
event itself were great, I was somewhat disappointed in the event in general.
As often happens, our expectations for such an event often exceed the moment.
The connection I felt with the great majority of my classmates just wasn’t
there. It was somewhat forced and just didn’t flow as I had imagined. I blame
no one in particular; it’s just the way I felt. I have always believed we are
masters of our destiny and the world reflects what we give. Perhaps the
attitude of others was a reflection of my own.
One of my big disappointments of the evening was seeing
Bruce Hopper again. We were excellent friends during high school and since he
was working in financial services as a Financial Consultant, I thought we would
have a great time together. While I’m not exactly sure what happened, there
was just no chemistry there whatsoever. While we greeted and were cordial to
each other, there just seemed to be some kind of a barrier which didn’t drop to
enable a fluid conversation.
The bright spot of the night was the “crazy” gang of
Karen Schalk, Suzy Roberts, CJ Coffin and Sally Kitts who were up to their
usual shenanigans and out to have a good time. While overall it was fun; it
just didn’t have the intensity I thought it might have. So often we build up
expectations with planning, traveling and anticipation. When the actual moment
comes, there are times it just doesn’t jive the way we had envisioned.
To top the trip off, I had a shopping spree with David Jones and my dad, a hike up La Luz Trail to Sandia Crest which was spectacular and a final
golf outing with my dad. One of my best friends in high school, Tim Anderson,
joined us for golf. I had been trying to get ahold of him the entire week I
was there. He had become somewhat reclusive and wasn’t into any of the reunion
events. I was very happy when he accepted my invitation to play.
As my dad and I were waiting at the tee to get going at
Albuquerque Country Club, I went to look for Tim, who was true to form when we
were in high school and characteristically late. I walked right passed him and
didn’t recognize him at all. He was very overweight and had aged quite a bit.
We had a good time catching up and he told me all about his life. His father,
Maxie Anderson, had died in a ballooning accident several years earlier. While
I’m relatively sure Tim had little trouble financially as his family was quite
well off, he did seem to be having problems finding his own direction. This
was evident in our conversation as we played golf and also later when we met
with our friend Mark Skotchdopole for some drinks.
Tim died shortly thereafter, apparently of a heart
attack. This has brought new meaning to the title of this autobiography and
has underscored my own thoughts about life and death. While I am sad to see
him go, I am not too terribly surprised, based on our recent encounter. Life
is an uncertain walk with twists and turns which take us to places unknown.
The only thing we have for certain is this moment and it is gone in an
instant. Tim was, as I am right now as I write, 44 years old when he died…
I came back to Caracas with renewed vigor. My encounter
with classmates made me realize we are all just people. None better, none
worse than the other. We all have our own challenges, our own interests and
our own lives. If and when these twisting turns of life bring us together to
share magical moments from time to time, we should feel fortunate for another
encounter be it chance or otherwise.
The day after I arrived in Caracas, I was on a plane to
Puerto La Cruz to do a one day seminar for ConocoPhillips on Secretary’s Day.
It was a program to which I had been looking forward because it was the first
full day program I had where I was able to do my thing with regards to my
formula EPPA² - Empowering Excellence. While I had done several shorter
versions of the same topic, on this particular day, I had free reign to do as I
pleased. The group was very enthusiastic and participative. I fed on their
energy and we had a great time!
One of the dynamics which I have incorporated into the
majority of my courses which last over 4 hours is “La Hora del Bueno.” During
the afternoon, people in Venezuela often refer to the time right after lunch as
“La Hora del Burro.” The literal translation is, “Donkey Hour.” So I ask my
participants, “What would you prefer, to have “La Hora del Burro” or “La Hora
del Bueno”? Invariably, they choose “Happy Hour”! The rules are simple; they
form one or more circles and choose a leader for each group to get into the
middle. While many can see what’s coming and are not initially excited about
the idea of getting in the middle of a group to move and dance, they gradually
warm up to the idea. I explain, “The person in the middle is the leader.
Everyone else in the circle will do exactly as the person in the center. If he
or she puts his arm up, you put your arm up. If he or she spins in circles,
then you spin in circles.” Then I say, “I get to go first!” I jump in the
middle, crank the music and get rocking! It is during these moments in my
workshops when I get some of my best photos. People smiling, dancing and
happy; nothing like it!
As I write, I have a couple of ideas on how to make it
better. Sometime people have said doing “Happy Hour” right after lunch isn’t
such a good idea because they are full. So I sometimes alternate and do it later
in the afternoon to change energy levels. In addition, I am thinking about
putting a slide in the presentation earlier in the morning with a picture from
“Happy Hour.” At that point I can ask, “Who likes to dance?” Then I ask, “Is
there anyone who doesn’t like to dance?” I can make a mental note of the
people and later adjust the activity accordingly. If there is someone who says
they don’t like to dance, I can ask them to be my photographer. I can also
take this opportunity in the break to “train” the person so the pictures come
out better!
On my rating scale from 1 to 5 with the latter being the
highest, I received a 5.08! I got all fives and one person gave me a 6. While
I have recently revamped my attitude toward evaluations, it is always a great
thrill to receive such a positive response on what was in essence “my baby” and
represents my thought in terms of content and delivery. I was Rockin’!
The idea of life being like a bouncing ball has intrigued
me since I first thought about it on December 13, 2001, in Rio de Janeiro. We
inevitably sometimes feel great and motivated while at other times feel down
and out. Circumstantial events create changes in our emotional states daily. While
there is an extensive body of knowledge regarding the importance of emotional
intelligence, the inevitable changing nature of our thoughts and feelings
continues to fascinate me.
At times, and after what appears to be a series of random
events, we feel down. The alarm doesn’t go off. The water is cut off right
when we step into the shower. We step in a puddle of water right as we are going
to put our socks on. We receive a call we didn’t expect or want and the list
goes on and on. We dodge the first instance, receive a glancing blow with the
second and frequently get decked with the third. Any ounce of positive emotion
which kept us sane is gone by the fourth and we often head into an emotional tailspin.
We ask:
œ Why
does this always happen to me?
œ What
did I do to deserve this?
œ Where
will this lead me?
œ Who is
responsible?
œ When
will it stop?
œ How do
I act?
As we dwell on deep dreary decisions, these questions can
dominate our thoughts and drive our decisions. When this happens to me, I know
I am in “The Bottom of a Bounce!” What is most important is not where we
happen to be in this roller coaster of a Bounce, rather our ability to Bounce
Back one more time when we are down. If we can Bounce Back one more time, we
can return to fight another day.
On September 30, 2005, I was on top of the world after my
positive experience in Puerto La Cruz. Ten days later I was having “One of those
days.” I wrote these words:
“The Beauty of Being in the Bottom of a Bounce is if we are
truly at the bottom, it can’t get any worse! And if we are not yet at the
bottom, we are at least better off now than we might be later on. If this is
the case, instead of waiting for things to get worse, we can take action and
move our fannies to keep from going down further. Otherwise, if we are truly at
the Bottom of the Bounce, things can only get better.”
I love the saying, “In the end things will always get
better and if it doesn’t, it isn’t the end!” This knowledge can give us new
found energy to fight and persevere. The theory behind EPPA² is that we can empower
experience today, prepare for what may come, persevere in difficult circumstance
and have a great attitude², all of which create more confidence tomorrow. Belief
in our own ability propels us forward to meet daily challenges valiantly. So
the next time somebody asks what’s going on when you are having a Bad Day, you
can look them straight in the eye and say, “Don’t bug me, I’m in the Bottom of
a Bounce, but I’ll be back!”
The rest of the year was dotted with a couple of more
gigs at IESA for Decision Making and one for the PAG, the Advanced Managerial
Program at IESA. I also had an outing at the Grupo de Industriales de Carabobo
(Carabobo Industrial Relations Group), The Canadian Embassy, Oppenheimer and
Royal Sun Alliance.
One of the books I read during this time which impressed
me greatly was As A Man Thinketh by James Allen. This short, concise
book packs wealth of knowledge with a punch. It also made me realize the power
of the written word. The author is long gone and now so many years later, the
book is being distributed, legally, on the internet to hundreds of thousands and
possibly millions of people. It is available for public consumption and for no
charge! The thought of people reading my thoughts and ideas into the future is
gratifying. As I read Allen’s words, I wondered what his life must have been
like and what thoughts and motivations led him to study human behavior. My own
interest in what makes people tick seems to be so very parallel. “Could it
be,” I wondered, “that at some time in the future someone will ‘discover’ A
Special Gift and decide to spread it across the world?” While economic benefit
from such exposure would be wonderful, I would be thrilled for it to happen in
any manner and at any time!
In December 2005 I received an e-mail from the sister of a
friend of mine in Brazil. They had come across my website and contacted me. The
sister, Lucia Korn, is a translator. She translates from English, Spanish and
French into Portuguese. She read my Lunar Letters and told me she really liked
them. I asked her if she would be interested in translating them into
Portuguese. She loved the idea! She would translate them monthly and I would
credit her as translator giving her contact information to readers. Thus the
Lunar Letter began to be published in Portuguese as well as English and Spanish.
Lucia translated and we launched “The River of Change” as the first. The
translation in Portuguese is called “O Rio da Transformação.” Since then,
Lucia has been wonderful with her translations and I have loved working with
her. While she now has a much more demanding position and is in charge of
running a hotel in northern Brazil, she has come through faithfully with her
translations.
As is customary, business came to a virtual standstill in
December. With the exception of one course at IESA, I was left to my own
devices to enjoy the holidays and gear up for the year to come. As part of my
analysis I reviewed what I had done for the year and how much money I had
made. I was floored with the result, though deep down I knew the result before
I saw the numbers. During my first full year with Inspire I made a little bit
of money. The second year I doubled what I made and was pretty excited! Now
in this the third year, I dropped back down again and earned just over half of
what I had earned the previous year. I was bummed and definitely in The Bottom
of a Bounce. I started to wonder if I should continue with Inspire or get a
job. For the first time since I had started Inspire, I was seriously
considering whether I should hang it up and do something different.
I soon realized I had made my own bed, and was now
sleeping in it. When I started studying at the UCV, I had stopped actively
marketing my services and while I had been working more diligently recently, things
had still not picked up to where I wanted them to be. I felt by this stage in
my career people should be calling me and soliciting my business. Instead, I
looked at my calendar and saw only a handful of events, none of which were very
lucrative financially. The funds I had set aside to launch Inspire were
dwindling and the future looked bleak. I geared up for another round, this
time unsure whether it would involve Inspire or some other venture.
I continued my daily habit of Eight to Create Motivate
and Stay in Shape and while I didn’t count the total number of activities I
realized during 2005, I did tally the total number of Ball in One’s I mentioned
previously since I started my rooftop madness:
œ
2002 = 4
œ
2003 = 64
œ
2004 = 170
œ
2005 = 97
Now as I look at the numbers, they seem to roughly correspond
with my income since beginning with Inspire. It started out slow, picked up
steam and then tapered off. I knew the real solution to my dilemma was to get
out, shake and bake to make things happen!
As 2006 began, I was having serious doubts about what I
was doing and how I was doing it. I saw two possibilities.
1. I
knew what I was doing and simply hadn’t figured out how to market myself.
2. I
wasn’t really doing as well as I thought I was doing in my programs and,
therefore, people were not calling me back to do more programs.
In either case, it was clear I needed to do something.
The money I was making didn’t quite cut the mustard and my savings were evaporating
quicker than I had anticipated.
I met Elsa Nettel, a spunky Mexican lady, at my
Benchmarking event in Caracas the previous summer. She had sent me information
regarding an event on Accelerated Learning in Washington, D.C. I sent a
proposal to the event organizers to do a break-out session for the event and
despite my late entry, they accepted it. They basically waived the fee for the
event in exchange for my participation. Otherwise, no pay and no other
expenses were reimbursed. Nevertheless, I thought it would be a great
opportunity to “show my stuff” to a different audience and make contact.
As a result, in early January, I packed my bags and
headed to Washington D.C. for the first time in my life. As it turns out, the
majority of the participants were teachers and most of the people giving talks
had been with the organization for quite some time. While I met several very
nice people, it really didn’t provide me with the type of networking contacts I
had anticipated. They simply were in an entirely different world. Many of the
accelerated learning programs were conducted in language programs throughout
the USA and Europe.
The organization of the event also fell short of my
expectations. They told me they would provide an overhead projector and a boom
box and that any other audio-visual needs would need to be contracted and/or
provided by me. They told me I should have between 15 to 20 participants
during my intervention which had to do with Creativity and Accelerated
Learning. When the time came for my breakout session, I had a grand total of
three participants. I was floored! While the three people who attended were
pleased, it wasn’t even close to the type of experience I expected.
The bright light of the trip was going out to dinner with
several of the participants and then heading to a bar to see the semi-finals
for football where my beloved Broncos were playing. We went to a great little
bar outside of Arlington and settled down for the game. The crowd was rowdy,
the beer was flowing and we had a wonderful time!
The next morning I did get a nice surprise when I went to
a breakout session conducted by Win Winger. I had seen the gentleman
throughout the event and while his physical aspect at first made me doubt his
abilities, what I found he had on the inside was remarkable! He was older with
gray hair and all hunched over. He kind of had to crow his neck up sideways to
talk to you. He has a wealth of interesting ideas particularly with regards to
creativity. After the event I kept contact with him as well as with Patricia
Chávez who was at my breakout session and with whom I later traded books.
Unfortunately, the lack of turn out in my session, along
with the overall diverse nature of the participants from my interests, cut my
spirits and enthusiasm. The one chance I had to get out to see the sights of
the city was on Sunday afternoon. After doing some shopping for some gifts and
candy, I jumped on the subway to go see the Washington Memorial and anything
else I could in the short time I had. As I lugged around my bags, the sun went
down. Everything was closed and as I approached the Washington Memorial, my
stomach began to act up. An unfortunate “shart” made its debut which made
walking very uncomfortable. I quickly asked someone to take a photo of me and
then headed for the nearest bathroom I could find. Everything was closed, so I
went back to the subway where a kind-hearted gentleman saw my anguish and let
me use one of the employee’s bathrooms. At that point, I was tired and it was
getting late, so I headed back to my hotel.
My trip back home on the airplane gave me time to reflect
on what I was doing, how I was doing it and more importantly where I was
headed. Thoughts do, in fact, influence our actions and in this particular
case, the negativity of my thoughts pervaded my every move as I was definitely
in the Bottom of a Bounce.
When I returned to Caracas, I decided I needed to start
moving and shaking if anything at all was going to happen. A new law had been
passed in Venezuela which was referred to as LOPCYMAT. It requires companies
to give a certain amount of training and development to their employees along
with a series of other requirements. Together with my friend Marcos Levy, we
explored different ways to take advantage of the new law. I set up several
meetings with the government agencies which enforced the law and while I had
some initial positive response, it later fizzled out when it came time to put
the pedal in the medal.
In late January, I hopped on a plane and headed out to
Puerto Ordaz to do an in-company program for Orinoco Iron on Decision Making.
While the program went well and I met several excellent people who continue to
keep in contact with me, it was nothing to write home about. As Viktor Frankl had
written many years before as a result of his incarceration in Nazi prison
camps, I continued my own Search for Meaning and direction though mine was
fortunately under less dire circumstances than Mr. Frankl’s!
When we bought our apartment in Caracas, one of the
things which attracted me was that it was a penthouse apartment and in our same
building complex one of the other owners had already added on to their
apartment by constructing on the roof. When I first saw the apartment, I
envisioned doing something similar particularly since the other neighbor had
already built a complete apartment on his roof. While we haven’t been as
extravagant in what we have done, we have put a roof and some nice stairs.
When I started Inspire, I put a desk up on our penthouse
deck and armed with my laptop and a wireless connection, I was ready to go! My
favorite place to work, when it wasn’t raining or terribly windy, has been up
“On Top of the World Looking Down.” Un Don Especial, the majority of my
Lunar Letters and these reflections have been written as I gaze out over Caracas with my wonderful majestic Avila in the background.
While it’s a wonderful place to work, it has its own set
of challenges. If it’s raining and there is no wind, it’s fine. When it gets
windy, which unfortunately seems to be the case when it starts to rain, I spend
about half the time drying off the drops which hit my laptop and the other time
working. In addition, since there are no walls to protect from the elements,
dust and dirt tend to build up everywhere. When it rains really hard with a
whole lot of wind, everything gets soaked including part of the downstairs
which is also partially exposed to the fury of Mother Nature. As a result, I
don’t keep any files or anything else upstairs which could be destroyed.
Through this period of uncertainty professionally, one of
the things which helped to keep me focused on making Inspire and my public
speaking work was the degree of liberty which this type of work afforded me.
Knowing there would be days when I didn’t have to leave my little slice of
paradise which allowed me to work in peace and tranquility, was an important
factor for my continual looking for new ways to make things work.
I have since made another “office” downstairs which,
while more comfortable, will never quite match being, “Up on Top of the World!”
My next gig with IESA turned out to be one of my more
memorable outings and most important learning experiences. It was an
in-company program for Cargill. I had an appointment with them previous to the
course and I believed I had all of their goals and objectives with regards to
my module, Decision Making.
I am continually making adjustments to my program using
new examples and trying out new things. This case was no different. I had
written a Lunar Letter, and had done quite a bit of investigation recently,
about the difference between being “Efficient” and being “Effective.” In
English the difference in most of the literature is pretty clear. Being
efficient is doing something well and being effective is doing the right thing.
I came to find out, as I presented the material, there
was not such a marked difference in Spanish. As I explained the topic and told
people it was much more important to be effective than efficient, I had one of
the participants who opposed my position vehemently. While I explained he was
welcome to take whatever position he wanted to take, what is most important is
to do the right thing and not necessarily to do something well.
There was something which triggered this individual to
give me a hard time and I’m sure I didn’t help the situation. Haydee has told
me I give a certain “look” whenever someone opposes what I say. While I am not
exactly sure what the “look” is, I am pretty sure this individual got the
“look” on several occasions.
In short, I let the guy get to me. He kept bringing the
point up about efficiency and effectiveness. On more than one occasion I asked
him just to let it go, though he didn’t seem to want to. He just kept heckling
me and spent most of the time during class talking to those who were sitting
next to him. I did my best to ignore him though I don’t believe I did a very
good job.
After the first day was over, one of the participants,
who was from Human Resources, came up to me and told me she didn’t believe the
program was achieving the objectives they desired. I asked her how she thought
it could be improved, all the while feeling my blood boiling beneath the
surface. I can’t recall right now exactly what she said, though I’m pretty
sure she got the “look” as well.
I went home feeling terrible. While I still didn’t feel
100% comfortable in all of the programs I gave with IESA, I had developed a
pretty good track record in terms of evaluations and the comments were by and
large extremely positive. I analyzed the situation and did my best to make
adjustments on the second day to make things work. I decided just to have fun
and do my thing.
During the second day I felt much looser and much more
confident. By the time the program had finished, I sincerely believed I had
saved the day. While the post course commentaries were limited, I at least
felt I had given it my best shot. My world was about to be rocked.
When the evaluations came out several days later, I
stared in amazement at the computer screen. I felt there must be some sort of
a mistake. Then as I thought about the group and what had transpired, I
realized it was no mistake and no joke. I received a 3.32 on a scale of 1 to 5
with 5 being the best. This was by far the worst evaluation I had received in
any event I had given with IESA or otherwise.
In IESA professors are paid a base hourly rate and then
given additional amounts based on where the event is given, what time it is
given, whether or not materials are handed in on time and the evaluation
received, which is the largest part of the variable component. For an
evaluation of 4.66 and over, we receive 100% of the bonus. For evaluations
between 4.00 and 4.65, we receive the respective percentage for the evaluation
received. For example for 4.50, we get 50% of the bonus. This was the first
time in my career with IESA I had been “skunked.”
While I thought I knew the reasons why it had happened, I
still felt terrible. I reviewed my past evaluations for IESA for which I had
received an average of 4.71. I called Carlos Garcia, my contact in IESA to
talk to him about the evaluation. I basically told him, “Carlos, I just got
back the evaluation from Cargill and I’m sure you got it as well. I didn’t
call to make excuses, rather to tell you I have learned from the experience and
believe I will become better because of it.” He told me not to worry about
it. He said I wasn’t the only one who had gotten slammed by them and at least
one other professor had also been given his all time worse evaluation. While
this served as some consolation, it did little to lift my spirits.
I was now in a tailspin and deep down in the depths of
the Bottom of a Bounce. This time I wasn’t sure whether I was going to Bounce
or not! As negative thoughts filled my mind, I continued in my downward spiral.
How could this happen to me? Why weren’t things going better? Where should I
go from here? When were things going to turn around? What could I do to get
out of my slump? These were the questions which haunted me as I pondered my
next move.
It’s easy to realize what we should do and even in many
cases what we have to do. What is difficult is actually doing it! I believe I
have maintained a positive attitude towards life and while I have found this to
be one of the most important things any of us can have, it isn’t always
enough.
Since December of 2001, I had been working on the idea, “It’s
the Bounce that Counts!” Specifically asking myself the question, “How can we
Bounce Back from life’s most trying times?” Why do some people roll over and
play dead when adversity rears its ugly head, while others stand up and take
notice looking at the same situation as a challenge to overcome?
This quandary has driven me to learn more about what I
do. How then, I asked myself during this time in my life, do I pick myself up
and keep going? Does the theory I give to others actually work, particularly
when it’s needed most?
As I thought about my next step and where I was going, my
own words which I have repeated time and again rang in my ears. “It’s not so
important where we happen to be at any specific point in time, rather our
ability to Bounce Back which is most important!” I heard myself saying. “So
what now can I do to Bounce Back myself?”
Having a positive attitude and outlook helps to get back
on track, though by itself it’s not always enough. In retrospect, I now
believe this to be one of my primary mistakes as I began to build Inspire. I
felt my own positive attitude was enough to spill over into other people’s
lives. I believed just by listening to me people would be able to achieve and
maintain the type of attitude they needed to propel them to achieve their
dreams and desires.
I now realize the process goes much deeper. The best
word in the English language which defines what it takes to overcome adversity is
Resilience. The capacity to overcome the most difficult situations is
frequently the difference between those who just schlep along in life and those
who are able to achieve outstanding levels of success and satisfaction.
Bonnie Fuenmayor, one of my classmates in my Group
Dynamics course, actually turned me on to the idea of Resilience. One day she
told me, “I have something which I think you will like.” She sent it to me and
as I began reading, it was like a light burning brightly at the end of a tunnel.
I always felt I knew where I was headed; I just couldn’t see it even if it was
right in front of my nose.
At this particular point in my career, while I had begun
learning more about Resilience, I still hadn’t integrated several of the ideas
into actions and thought processes. I was in the middle of the forest and couldn’t
even see the trees! It was dark and I was down. I felt as if the previous
four years had been for naught. I felt like I was a failure. How could it be,
I asked myself, that after so many years and so much work, I was getting
negative evaluations and a calendar which didn’t fill?
In the depth of my despair, I realized this was a test.
Everything I had been through and everything I had done was preparation for
this precise moment. While I had overcome many difficulties over the years,
some of which I considered to be pretty major, now it was time to put the pedal
to the metal. It was time for me to stop talking and start acting.
I began setting more meetings, talking to more people and
getting a move on. Business wasn’t happening while I was Sitting up on Top of
the World Looking Down, so I decided I needed to get out and about. While the
idea of consulting companies on the new LOPCYMAT law fizzled out, I began once
again talking to clients and doing some serious follow up on other companies
which had expressed interest.
My first true Inspire gig of the year came with Banvalor.
We had been talking about doing a series of several events over many weeks.
The first meeting was postponed, then as time went on, I didn’t think it was
going to go through. In the end though, fortunately it did come through. I
had included my friend Francisco Novoa in the program, so we both put our heads
together and proceeded to Rock! While there were a couple of minor
inconveniences, it was a great confidence builder after a couple of rough times
out of the blocks. Nevertheless, I still had serious doubts about where I was
headed.
As I have mentioned before, I had particular difficulty
with Human Resource departments in general. When I analyze the number of gigs
I’ve gotten through direct contact with a decision maker in the organization,
as opposed to directly through Human Resources, the odds are in favor of the
former by about 10 to 1. If I wanted to continue being a public speaker, I
began to realize I needed to somehow overcome my mental block with regards to
these “people.”
I called Beatriz Mujica and Gabriela Martinez, two of my
colleagues from my Group Dynamics course at the UCV, who were in Human
Resources and told them I wanted to talk to them. We arranged to meet after
work one day and together with a bottle of whiskey, I told them of my plight.
While I, as well as others, often try to bend the entire truth just a bit to
make my circumstances appear better than they are, in this case I laid all my
cards on the table. I explained I was at a crossroads professionally. While I
enjoyed being up in front of groups, almost all the time, I found the whole
process of getting work very time consuming and extremely difficult. I
confessed to having an almost complete block when it came to dealing with Human
Resources people and I asked them for their advice with no holds barred.
After I got done explaining my situation, they both
looked at each other and then at me and said, “You are right! Most Human
Resources people tend to be a pain in the butt, us included.” We all had a
good laugh and it lightened the mood considerably.
I asked them what they would do if they were in my
situation. They told me one of the most difficult things for a Human Resource
person to do was to organize a training type of event. There are so many
different factors involved and so many different agendas to try and organize
when it is an in-company type of event. Between getting people to attend,
dealing with logistics and choosing a provider, it was more work than they
normally wanted to do. Open events, on the other hand, were a completely
different story. They explained it was much easier for them to send several
people to an event offered to the public which gave the training they desired
without the hassle of the logistics.
Over the next few days, I thought a lot about what my two
colleagues had said. I realized one of my own fears, uncertainties and doubts
was my ability to do public events. To date, I had worked directly for a
company or an organization in all of my outings. The only exception was for my
first anniversary meeting for Inspire. While that event was successful in my
way of thinking, I still had serious challenges with regards to doing open
events.
I had kept track of how many gigs I’d done, the number of
participants, evaluation and venue. I found I was at 97 all told. As I was
doing yoga and reflecting at the end of one day, I realized this was the time
to ramp up the process. While I was unsure whether or not to continue, I
decided I needed to at least get to 100 events. If, after getting to 100 total
outings, things were still not clicking, I would look for an alternate
activity. I had only one event left on my calendar which was with IESA in late
April. This would get me only to 98 total events. I realized I now had an opportunity
to face my biggest fear, crashing and burning in an open event! At the worst, I
go out with a true bang and say, “This wasn’t for me.” At the best, I face and
conquer fear while surpassing 100 gigs. With nothing to lose and everything to
gain, at least in my mind, I charged forth.
I came up with a plan. I would do a series of events
based on my EPPA² model. I began looking for different places where I could
hold an event and check into the costs involved in holding the event. I set
aside some dates and began to investigate. Of all the places I saw, the one I
liked the most was at the Botanical Gardens in Caracas. They had a very nice meeting
room situated in the midst of a beautiful environment with an abundance of
vegetation and which I knew well. In addition, the prices were very
reasonable. I rented the projector from a friend of mine and contracted with a
lady to provide coffee, refreshments and lunch. I made reservations, created a
link in my webpage to the event and was off and running.
While the activity was good for me and I was giving it
all I could, there was still this little voice in the back of my head which
asked, “Are you sure you can pull this off?” As hard as I tried to put those
devilish thoughts aside, they appeared in uncommon moments. In addition to
preparing my new venture, I also updated my resume. I began surfing through
the employment websites and even registered with a few. I figured, in the
worst case, I could go back to work with a company though this time in a
different role and with a new set of experiences under my belt to set me on a
new trajectory. At this point I was up to any and all options. What I knew
for sure is I had to generate cash flow in one way, shape, form or another.
As a side note, during this time I was submitting quotes
to a website in Spanish called www.citasyrefranes.com. I enjoy writing my
thoughts and do it in different ways on different days. Sometimes in a planner
or a calendar, other times on a blog or my web. The accepted quotes on www.citasyrefranes.com
are numbered. I thought it was quite significant one of my quotes posted on
the site was number 10,000! While it’s possible I’m the only one who noticed
and there wasn’t any fanfare, I was nevertheless very pleased!
During this time we also took a trip to the state of Lara
for Holy Week. Chanty had gone to Margarita and Alicia on Mission work to Lara
for the holiday. Haydee and I decided to get in the car and head for her home
state. While Haydee was born in Barquisimeto, the capital of Lara, she had
lived most of her life in Caracas. It was fun to go on a road trip and we had
fun even as we occasionally got lost. Of particular interest was visiting
Carora, picking Alicia up out in the boondocks and going to San Pedro.
For many reasons I liked San Pedro a lot! First of all,
it was up in the mountains in a cooler climate where the air is cleaner and the
view goes forever. We stopped and ate at a little park in the middle of San
Pedro. While there was a lot of mist and visibility wasn’t great, I knew what
was below because I had just driven through it. Lush green fields spliced with
a nice big river which led up into the hills. I imagined myself living in such
a place and the idea is very appealing to me. Nature all around, a bit slower
pace and a great big place to do a little Eight to Create, Motivate and Stay in
Shape. In addition, it sounds very much like San Pablo which is where my mom
grew up. Also, whenever Haydee faces a difficult situation, like rafting down
the rapids in a wild river, she calls out for her own saint who is always San
Pedro!
The event I was working on forced me to plan and execute
several ideas I’d thought about often though not always detailed regarding
EPPA². While I had done day long programs previously for various
organizations, I had yet to do day long events with any of the four elements
which make up my formula to achieve greater levels of confidence. Determining
the dynamics and examples I was going to use was a lot of fun. I have always
enjoyed the planning process for my presentations and this was no exception.
In addition, I chose some nice binders, nametags and certificates to give to
participants. When game day came, I was ready to rock!
May 12 was the big day for my first open event; I had two
participants pay full fare, another handful for cost and a couple of freebies.
While I didn’t make much money, I did pay for all my costs and had a good time!
After the event I was satisfied and content. Even though it would have been
great to have greater attendance, from a personal growth standpoint, it was
tremendous. I learned that I don’t have to be afraid of flopping. Even with
my modest turnout, I still came out on top and with no broken bones!
The best part was the event itself. In addition to the
two paying customers who came from a company in Valencia, I had my Haydee, my
brother-in-law Johnny and my cousin Nancy in the event along with a couple of
friends. It was wonderful to be in such a wonderful setting talking to people I
met for the first time as well as family and friends.
On my second EPPA² event on Preparation, I hit my 100th
gig! I was thrilled and excited. The event helped me to realize even the
worst case scenario in my public gigs was not so bad. For this, my second
event, I had several people who said they were interested in coming though
hadn’t put their money where their mouth was. As the big day approached, I had
only one person confirmed. Fortunately, she was a “full fare” client. She was
making the trip to Caracas specifically for the event. The only other person
who had confirmed was Zoraida who had been one of my Group Dynamics partners.
I called the person in Barquisimeto who had already committed and told her the
situation. I told her while several had expressed interest, only she and one
other person were confirmed. I told her it would be more like a coaching
session and if she was still game, I was sure it would be well worth her
while.
She accepted and traveled overnight from Barquisimeto, slept on the bus and arrived early for the event. We all had a great time in
the workshop and we were able to dig deep into several different issues which
concerned them both as well as spend a lot of time outside in the gardens. We
went to the Universidad Central for a very tasty and economical lunch and had a
wonderful day. While I would have obviously liked to have more people at the
event, I saw even with a couple of people I hadn’t lost any money and enjoyed
it thoroughly.
Inspire event #100
A milestone in many ways and a breakthrough on a specific
thought. Face what I fear most and vanquish fear forever!
My fear of doing public seminars has been faced and I have
seen the worst possible outcome is not so bad. My first open workshop netted a
total of seven people including two who paid full price, three who paid a
portion and two pro bono. To build and share with those I love and care for
along with paid fair proved to be an enlightening and enriching experience
despite the low $ return in terms of time spent to prepare.
The second event today was questionable up to the last minute
though in the end one paid full fare and another came in as a gimme. I now realize
even the “worst case” is not a disaster!
“Another day, another dollar and we holler!” comes to mind.
As does, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Where does my career and Inspire’s future go? Only time will
tell… What I do know is, be it few or be it many, the reward of a job well
done is reward enough when we choose to go with the flow. Additionally, from a
marketing standpoint nothing replaces personal contact to generate interest.
Internet and e-mail are fine, though in my experience nothing
replaces personal contact and phone calls.
Even though I hadn’t made much money on my open gigs, I
was having fun and putting into practice many of the things I had to date only
thought about. It gave me an opportunity to be busy, move towards an objective
and plan. On the way a few more gigs came often as a direct result of
marketing my open events. By sending out e-mails announcing my public events,
I also generated interest from others regarding doing in house events.
While all this sounds nice and good, as is usually the
case, the roses did have thorns which pricked and poked. One of the pokes came
at the realization I received very little feedback from my e-mail campaign. A
handful of people responded, with only a few making the decision to attend. I
also sent out text messages by cell phone to the people stored in the memory,
again with only limited success. Eventually, I found there is no replacement
for a personal conversation.
Though I am a big fan of technology and believe it is
wonderful, it has also depersonalized so much of our communication. Where a
phone call or personal visit was once required, now it’s an e-mail, a chat or a
text message. Face to face verbal communication has been replaced by a “wink”
and a “smiley face.” Never before have we been so adept at reaching out and touching
the rest of the world and yet remain so isolated. The same electrons which are
effective in transmitting words frequently fall short in terms of transmitting
feelings and desires. While there are webcams and video chats, to date they
aren’t seamless and require too much intervention to make them work properly. In
my experience, the best way to optimize communication is still a face to face
meeting. If a personal meeting is not possible, a phone call is more effective
than a “wink” and a “nudge.”
Today brings forth my 44th birthday a new goal and
also a new vision:
Goal:
I am now at the midpoint in my life! Each of the past three
years I have thought I have been at the midpoint of my life. Now I truly know
this is the one! The numbers and the universe are in line to achieve my
desire:
œ 4 + 4
= 8
œ 44 x 2
= 88
It doesn’t get any better than that!! To live to be 88 years
old with health to move around and a mind which has not turned to mush is a
great accomplishment indeed. Today I pledge this to be my new found
destination age…
My Vision of Master Mind Moon Meetings
œ Reserve
the weekend closest to each full moon for a retreat to create:
§
A space to share with family and friends
§
A space to reflect and to relate
§
A space to build and to grow
§
A space to share and to create
§
A space to innovate and energize
§
A space to drive direction and destiny
Sun Salute
As a side note, like “El Patrón” (Boss) in my first book Un
Don Especial, I like to rise with the sun to greet the day and bid farewell
as the sun goes down. During the times when I am at my best I do this 5 or 6
days a week. My morning routine consists of various movements approximating a
Sun Salute. My evening routine started out as Yoga and has evolved into what I
call Roga which is a combination of Yoga, Tai-Chi, Bailoterapia and air
guitar. It’s my own special blend of fun. I often choose random music from
old LP’s or whatever comes up on “shuffle” to say goodbye to another day.
Besides being able to stretch and exercise, it gives me a
chance to reflect and think over the day. I think often about how grateful I
am to be alive. Trying times with turbulence will come and go. Yet like the
ball on its ever ending Bounce, as long as we continue to breathe, we have
another chance, a unique opportunity to face and overcome challenge by Bouncing
Back at least one more time.
My bonus from the time I spend on my roof watching the
day come and go was spending time with Sneaky and playing my Ball in One game
with tennis balls. Sneaky always loves to play ball. On one particular
evening during my evening Roga, I called Haydee to show her something I had
been practicing. I had been shooting from long range where I normally set out
a carpet on the ground to do my exercise. She came up stairs and I said, “Ok,
watch this!” I threw the ball; it hit just beyond the target and bounced off
the roof! I said, “Oops! That wasn’t supposed to happen!” Fortunately, Sneaky
didn’t go after the ball! Sneaky is limited to the Sneaky Hop where she hops
up and down as I tease her with the ball. While she is an excellent hopper,
thankfully she isn’t much of a leaper!
In 2003 I met a lady by the name of Coral Benzecri during
one of my first gigs with British Petroleum. She represented Jan Moller and
together we designed an outplacement program for several of their employees. I
had kept in touch with her over the years and she had solicited quotes from me
for a couple of events. We had never reached an agreement on any of them and I
had some reservations initially about working with her.
In June of 2006, we came to an agreement and I did my
first seminar of what would later be several with Edepsa. In this case the
client was a company by the name of Interbursa. Coral had the client, I had
the expertise and together we made it work.
Initially my negotiations with Coral were very
uncomfortable. I got the sense she was trying to take advantage of my talents
at a sub par value and perhaps she thought I was charging too much for my
services. I learned with Coral to simply be straightforward in terms of what I
expected and if it didn’t meet her budget or expectations, we would simply agree
to disagree. While the first negotiations were somewhat uncomfortable, I
learned to value our relationship for many reasons.
Coral has excellent connections, has been in the training
business for almost 20 years and has a steady flow of business. She contracts
with people like me to actually do the workshops, seminars and conferences for
her clients. While she can sometimes be demanding in terms of time and effort
before and after the event, she has proven to be reliable and, best of all, she
pays me directly while charging the client herself.
As time goes on, I can see establishing more
relationships like the one I have with Coral and Edepsa. I believe the
ultimate client shouldn’t have to “pay extra” by contracting me through a third
party. As such, I give a discount to Edepsa and they charge separately. While
I never know exactly how much they are charging and I sometimes wonder if my
strategy works in practice, I at least mentally have a good idea of what I am
trying to achieve.
In one case, I was hired by Edepsa to do a seminar for
the key personnel of a laboratory. The Human Resource director later called me
and asked me if I would be willing to do a program for about 100 of their sales
people. I told her I would be happy to do it. When she asked me about the
investment for the program, I told her it would be better if she spoke directly
to Coral. While she treaded water for several minutes saying she was planning
on checking with Coral, I knew her intent was to bypass Edpesa and try and get my
services for a cheaper price than what she would get with Edepsa.
I explained my intent is for the cost to be the same
whether or not Edepsa is in the middle and, ethically, I had to respect the
initial source of the business. When I hung up the phone, I knew I risked not
getting the business at all and yet I felt very good about myself. I called
Coral, told her what happened and she thanked me for my candor. The event
later took place and I’m sure this has been critical in solidifying my
relationship with Coral and Edepsa.
While USA style football has always been a passion for
me, I haven’t seen many of the games since moving to South America. While
times have changed since I first moved to Latin America, it is often difficult
to get the games at all. Unless you have cable or some other special service,
seeing any of the games is difficult to impossible even for playoff games and
the Superbowl!
My enthusiasm for soccer, on the other hand, while
initially very cool, changed considerably as a result of the time I spent in Argentina. While Venezuela generates much more interest in baseball than soccer, the
further South you go in Latin America, the more intense the zeal for soccer
becomes. I was fortunate enough to see a few games while I was living down
under and the energy and fervor is incredible. Unbridled passion for soccer is
particularly evident in Argentina, Brazil and Uruguay.
As a result of my new found interest and understanding of
the game, I was very anxious for the World Cup of 2006 to begin. I studied
each of the teams playing and found out which groups they would be in. As the
games began, I arranged my schedule so I could watch the great majority of the
games. For the games I couldn’t watch, I did my best to listen to them on the
radio. I was convinced the entire country of Venezuela was totally committed
to watching each game.
I later found out, I was really the one who was totally
committed! The rest of the country continued on its merry way interested only in
a few key games. I even changed several of my events so they wouldn’t coincide
with the most interesting games on the calendar. If I didn’t make the changes,
I was convinced I would get no one to come to my events!
Of particular interest to me were the games where team USA played. I went over to my Italian friend Paolo Facci’s house to watch the game between
USA and Italy. While Italy ultimately won the game and the World Cup, team USA gave them a run for their money. Italy prevailed and won the game though with
controversy. My “cousin” Brian McBride got an elbow to the head during the
game. While this particular Brian isn’t really my cousin, I do have a cousin
named Brian McBride so I joked around with people regarding my “cousin” getting
mauled by the Italians.
The final game was on a Sunday and I was geared up to see
it. Of the 63 games leading up to the finals, I believe I must have seen at
least 50 of them and listened to 10 more on the radio. I was excited and ready
to rock! The semifinal games had been held at 3:00 PM and for some reason my
mind had locked on this time for the finals. We had invited some people over
to watch the game so we went out to buy a few last minute munchies.
When we got back home just after 2:00 PM, the game had
already started. My mental state immediately changed and I was bummed I had
missed the first few minutes of the game. Soccer matches tend to be very
punctual and games typically start within a couple of minutes of the announced
time. On the positive side, you know with pretty much certainty when the game
will end which aids greatly in planning for other events after the game. After
being so diligent during the first 63 games, on the 64th and final
game, I had slipped up.
I quickly sat down and began watching the game. About seven
minutes into the match, our doorbell rang. As I opened the door, I heard the
entire city of Caracas yelling, “Gol!!!” Knowing they always replay the goals,
I quickly sat down to see what had happened. At the precise instant when they
were showing the replay, my brother-in-law Luis Enrique got up and greeted our
guest right in front of the television blocking my view!
I immediately reacted by jumping up and hitting him in
the arm much harder than I should have while I told him get out of the way. I
didn’t think and I didn’t ponder. I just acted. The result of my outrage was
to have him say, “If you’re going to act like that Rob, I better go!” Haydee
also told me, “Rob, why do you have to be so aggressive? It’s only a game!”
I felt like a little kid being chastised for what I had
done. I sat down again, crossed my arms and acted just like a child as I
watched the game. Haydee asked, “Would you like something to drink?” I just
sat staring at the television and said, “No!” “Would you like something to
eat?” she queried. To which again, I gave a resounding, “No!” Just like a
little kid who doesn’t want to give in, I was in a “Stupid State” which said, “Just leave me alone and let me watch my game!”
This “little kid state” lasted until the game was pushed
into overtime by a (1 – 1) tie. In the 110th minute of the match, the
Italian Marco Materazzi made a comment to the French Zinedine Zidane. The
comment apparently made reference to his sister. Zidane lost control and head
butted Materazzi into history. Zidane was expelled from the match with a red
card and both were later fined for the incident. France’s ultimate loss to Italy in a penalty shootout was blamed by many by Zidane’s shenanigans which forced France to play the last stage of the game with only 10 players.
As I sat on my couch watching the story between France and Italy unravel, it occurred to me I had acted in a similar fashion to Zidane. I
immediately recalled a book which was given to me when I was in Washington D.C. The book is called Discovering your Blind Spots. The author, Dr.
Bob Smith, talks about the decisions we make and how they are influenced by
“Blind Spots” which hinder our ability to make effective decisions. He says we
all have certain areas of our brain which are better at making certain
decisions and others which are worse.
Dr. Smith goes on to explain how we can increase our
capacity to make better decisions. Each of us has, according to his
investigation, six different areas in our brain responsible for making
decisions. I liken them each to a piston in a six cylinder engine. Each of
these areas of thought is influenced in different ways. The first level of
decision making is Reaction and typically relies on only one of these areas of
thought. If this particular area is the “right one,” we make a good decision
and move forward. If, however, this is not the correct area of thought, we
make a mistake. I thought about what happened in the World Cup and the way I walloped
my brother-in-law. My “Stupid State” was witnessed by a few people in my
living room while Zidane’s head butt was witnessed by millions worldwide.
Nevertheless, I realized we had both reacted incorrectly not because we wanted
to rather because we were subject to a knee jerk reaction from the wrong part
of our brain.
Dr. Smith goes on to explain the second stage of decision
making comes through Response. When we reach this level we utilize perhaps two
or three areas of thought and we become more effective. The third area is
Reflection, which happens some minutes, hours or sometimes even days later, and
here we are able to employ 3, 4 and sometimes even 5 areas of thought. As a
result, our capacity to make a better decision increases. The ideal state,
according to Dr. Smith, comes only when we reach the fourth level of analysis
which comes through Relation with others.
Only when we are able to Relate with others can we garner
support from all six levels of thought. This happens to all of us from time to
time when we are trying to come up with a solution to a particular challenge
and have no success. Then one day, as we are talking to somebody about our
situation, it comes in an instant from the other person! They are able to
“see” the answer through a level of thought which for us is not dominant.
As a result of the finals of the World Cup 2006, I was
able to better understand a concept which has now become an important part of
the course I give on Decision Making with IESA. In addition, I now have a new
found passion for the game of soccer!
One night as I was taking Sneaky down, something happened
which would change the events in my life in a very significant way. I was
about to have a son! Sneaky was in heat and, as is typical anyway, in a very
aroused state. I’ve been with her many a time when she’s in heat and have
learned how to handle any suitors who are stalking her. On most occasions the
stalker was none other than Hugo.
Hugo is a dog who lives in our neighborhood. While there
are some people who watch out for him and give him food, he lives on the
street. When we moved back to Venezuela from Argentina, Hugo was around and
kicking. We later found out he was born and raised on a construction site
among some other strays. Luis Carrizo and Gladys Veracoechea, a couple who
lives near us, found him one day and he was in pretty bad shape. They cleaned
him up and started feeding him. He recovered and has been the “Macho Man” of
the neighborhood ever since.
You can often see Hugo lying in the shade blocking part
of the street as cars maneuver around him. Though he is getting older, he used
to be a big car and motorcycle chaser. When he isn’t running after cars he
generally camps out in front of any building where there is a bitch in heat
waiting for an opening, so to speak. Despite the great odds against him, he
has a surprising amount of success. In one instance he got into the parking garage
of a building, went up the stairs and got to the bitch in the hallway.
Hugo is also quite the gentleman. He is courteous and
respectful of people and doesn’t approach unless called. He generally avoids
confrontation though he is always prepared to defend his territory. Many of
the people in the neighborhood know who he is and everyone refers to him as
Hugo. There was a time when there was another male black dog who ran with
him. We dubbed the black dog “Diosdado,” naming him after a local politician.
Eventually, both the real life Diosdado and Hugo’s compadre disappeared from public
view.
On one particular instant in the spring of 2005, Sneaky
was in heat and I took her downstairs. As I normally do when I go down when
she is in heat, I keep her on a leash and take a small broom handle as a weapon
just in case I need to protect Sneaky’s reputation. Hugo was Johnny on the
spot and ready to rock. He waited for me at the gate as I exited the building
and walked up the park where Sneaky does her duty. I went inside and kept Hugo
at a distance though he had a target and was focused. When we got inside I put
Hugo to one side and let Sneaky go do her thing. What happened next will stay
with me for the rest of my life.
As Sneaky wandered in the underbrush finding an
appropriate place to do her deed, Hugo sat down directly in front of me. He looked
me in the eye and whined. He was oblivious to Sneaky as he concentrated on
me. I could almost hear him saying, “Just give me a chance, just one little
chance! That’s all I ask for!”
I responded, “No! You’re not going to get Sneaky on my
watch or I’ll get killed!” Nevertheless, I will never forget his manners. I
can only hope someday when someone asks for either of my daughter’s hand in
marriage, the same courtesy is extended!
I had always believed a cross between Hugo and Sneaky would
give excellent results. They both have an excellent temperament and
disposition. On the one side Sneaky is kind, caring and attentive while on the
other Hugo is cunning, smart and savvy. Haydee, however, was not convinced and
whenever I broached the subject she said, “Nothing doing!”
I explained, “He is a good looking dog even if he is a stray.
More important, he is very smart!” She didn’t buy what I was doing my best to
sell.
Whenever Sneaky was in heat we always wondered, “Should
we let Sneaky have puppies?” We both thought it would be a good idea to let
her have at least one litter. Even though we had tried a couple of times with
other studs, Hugo was off limits. One time we took her to breed with a good
looking young yellow lab named Max. While he was very enthusiastic and
extremely willing, as was she, he was too inexperienced and poked everywhere
except where he was supposed to. Another time we took her to a brown Labrador. Unfortunately, he had just gotten over an illness and didn’t have enough
strength to do the deed. In addition, they put them in a room for the night
with a ceramic floor which had absolutely no footing to facilitate their
endeavor.
So along comes April of 2006 and Sneaky is in heat. I
asked Haydee, “Do you think we should have puppies?”
She answered hesitantly, “We should though I don’t want
to keep any!”
“OK!” I said as my standard response. All the while I
knew I really wanted to keep at least one puppy and I’m sure Haydee also knew
this. While Haydee didn’t want to have another dog, I couldn’t imagine not
wanting to keep one after going through the whole process of watching them
being born and growing up. Nevertheless, I was content to see what would
happen; confident things would somehow swing in the right direction.
So we began to think about possible candidates. There
were two, one of which was a good looking chocolate lab from La Boyera. He
came over to meet Sneaky while she was approaching the end of her heat though
not quite ready to breed. Sneaky was definitely in the mood and in effect
dominated the poor guy. She ran after him mounting him every which way she
could. She seemed to intimidate him and he just couldn’t respond. I believe
this was in part also due to the fact she was on her own turf and he was out of
his element. Sneaky is actually quite aggressive as a female and she is pretty
dominant in general. Her favorite target is female Golden Retrievers for some
reason. She likes to grab them and have her way with them. This is quite disconcerting
for the owners and I frequently have to intervene.
Our second candidate was a lab named Rocco who was about
5 years old. We had met the owner, Oscar, and Rocco previously. We called
Oscar who had been very anxious to breed Rocco and he immediately agreed to
bring him over. Right when we believed Sneaky was ripe, Rocco came over and
spent an entire weekend plus a day with us. I was preparing for a class I had
to give in IESA and was home the entire time. As far as I could tell, unless
they were sneaking off together in the middle of the night, nothing happened!
Sneaky chased poor Rocco around till he was blue. When
Rocco finally figured out what to do, he just didn’t know how to go about it.
I even tried to help by placing him strategically and encouraging him to thrust
in the right direction. There have been allegations, though I have never
admitted to it, I even grabbed Sneaky and gave Rocco a mock demonstration of
what he should do. The poor guy just couldn’t get a hold on what he had to
do. When he finally figured where and how he was supposed to thrust, his little
friend stayed in hiding and didn’t come out to play.
When Oscar came to get Rocco he asked me what had
happened. I told him I really didn’t think anything at all had occurred. I
explained what had happened and told him I didn’t believe they ever connected.
While I wasn’t 100% they hadn’t done the deed one night while they were
together and I was sleeping, based on what I had seen, I seriously doubted it.
So Rocco leaves, I go to give my IESA class and life goes
on. After my class I got home a bit late and take Sneaky, who is still very
much in heat, downstairs. What happens next is a bit fuzzy and still a bit of
a haze. There are several versions and perhaps no one will ever really know
what actually happened.
The first version goes as follows: I go downstairs and,
as usual, Hugo is waiting for me. I beat him away with a stick as I take
Sneaky to the park, let her in and close the door to keep him out. Suddenly
out of nowhere a bright light flashes and blinds us all. I fall to the ground
and when I finally come to, Hugo is hooked up with Sneaky.
Second version goes as follows: I go downstairs and, as
usual, Hugo is waiting for me. I beat him away with a stick as I take Sneaky
to the park, let her in and close the door to keep him out. I turn around to
talk to another guy who has his dog in the park. It’s already dark out and I
watch Sneaky wander off into the bushes, alone. The guy I’m talking to leaves
and when I find Sneaky, she is in an amorous tangle with Hugo.
The third version goes as follows: I go downstairs and,
as usual, Hugo is waiting for me. I beat him away with a stick as I take
Sneaky to the park, let her in and close the door to keep him out. Hugo begs,
looking for an opening. He goes down the fence and, before I know it, he jumps
through a hole in the fence and races towards Sneaky. I yell at him to stop
and before I get there, she’s squared up ready for action and immediately
achieves his objective.
The fourth version goes as follows: I go downstairs and,
as usual, Hugo is waiting for me. I beat him away with a stick as I take
Sneaky to the park, let her in and close the door to keep him out. Hugo begs,
looking for an opening. He goes down the fence and, before I know it, he jumps
through a hole in the fence and races towards Sneaky. I think about what a
gentleman Hugo was earlier and decide to give them both a chance at love.
Before I know it, they are hitched.
The fifth version goes as follows: I go downstairs and,
as usual, Hugo is waiting for me. I tell him, “Hugo, now is your chance! I
let him have his way with her as we walk up to the open area where I let Sneaky
go. I open the door and motion for Hugo to go inside. I tell him, “Go get her,
Tiger!”
Whichever version you choose to believe, there is one
thing for certain, Sneaky hooked up with Hugo on the evening of April 26,
2006. I called Rocco’s owner Oscar and told him what had happened. He asked
me whether it may be possible Rocco had gotten to her. I told him anything was
possible and perhaps it would be best to wait and see. Sure enough, Sneaky
began acting strangely and within a couple of weeks we were pretty certain
Sneaky was in a bearing way. We took her to the veterinarian and he confirmed
her state. We expressed our concern to the vet since we weren’t current on
Sneaky’s shots and more than likely Hugo had never had any kind of a shot in
his life.
The veterinarian sat back and laughed. He said, “You
don’t have to worry about anything. In particular,” he went on, “Hugo is the
least of your worries. You have to understand something. Hugo more than
likely came from parents who were also strays. They probably were the lone
survivors of a litter somewhere between 6 and 10 puppies. In addition, Hugo was
probably a lone survivor of his litter as well. So the genes which come
through there are probably good to go!”
Precisely 3 months after conception, on the evening of June
26 a little before 6:00 PM, Sneaky started acting strangely, walking around,
sitting down and in general being anxious. We had built a birthing box for her
with cardboard and while she didn’t initially want to go inside, we eventually
convinced her to do so. The whole process of watching Sneaky first have and
then take care of her puppies was truly amazing!
As she settled down, nature began to takes its course.
Before we knew it, she was in labor and breathing heavily. As she suddenly let
out a loud yelp, the first puppy was born. Sneaky immediately broke the sack
around the puppy, ate it up and began cleaning her firstborn. A short while
later, suddenly another puppy was born, this time without the accompanying yelp
the first one brought forth. Over the next six hours, six puppies were born.
Sneaky had a total of six puppies over the next six
hours. So it came to be on the 26th day of the 6th month
in the year 2006, six puppies were born in a six hour stretch of time starting
at 6:00 in the evening. While some have claimed they are the antichrist
puppies, I vehemently renounce any such claim.
Surprisingly, every single one of the six puppies was
black, the most unique of which had a partially white snout with white leading
down his chest. His four paws were also white. Two others had white spots on
their chests and a couple had various degrees of white on one or more of their
paws. The one with the white chest was immediately dubbed, “Rascal.” The day
after they were born I wanted to take some pictures. I picked up the Rascal
and took some pictures with him. I didn’t touch the others as I had heard it
was preferable not to touch them for the first several days.
Thus the legend started and continues to build. Rascal,
along with his brothers and sisters made their entrance into this world. Experiencing
the spectacular miracle of conception was truly amazing. I spent a lot of time
with my “babies” over the next several months. While Rascal was immediately my
favorite, there were others who were special as well. Paf was the adventurous
one and was always the first to get into everything. He was the first to
venture out of the box and the first to test his legs.
One particular morning Haydee and I awoke to a shrill
cry. I hopped out of bed quickly and ran to see what had happened. The scream
continued as I ran upstairs. I didn’t find anything wrong when I realized the
cry was coming from downstairs. I ran downstairs and saw poor Paf lying on the
ground below. As it turns out, she was also the first to go down the stairs! I
quickly scooped her up and cuddled her. My eyes welled up with tears as I took
her upstairs and cradled her in my lap. She shook with fear for several
minutes before quieting down. By this time all the puppies were taking their
first steps. I watched as Paf took her first shaky steps after the fall. She
survived and continued to be the most adventurous and good natured of the
females.
Three of the puppies were more similar to their mother
and three more like their dad. The three who were like their mother were
Pudge, Spot and Ebony. Those like their father were Paf, Poof and Rascal.
While they were all cute, the ones who most touched our hearts were Paf, Ebony
and Rascal.
Haydee had said from the start she didn’t want to keep a
puppy. As time went on, they became even cuter and Haydee began to soften. While
I am extremely happy with my two daughters, I always thought it would be nice
to have a son. Now I saw my chance. As such, Rascal was always a front runner
for me. When we began talking about keeping one of the puppies, we thought it
would be better to have a female. They tend to be less rowdy and better
natured. In addition, we didn’t want to have the hassle of separating a male
from Sneaky every time she went into heat.
As we looked at each of the females, Ebony was the hands
down favorite. Chanty in particular loved Ebony. She was jet black, very
similar in appearance to Sneaky and extremely cute. A friend of mine who
breeds Labradors also told me she was the best Lab specimen of the group. We
all began to pay special attention to Ebony. We took lots of photos with her.
In particular, the sharp contrast between Sneaky and Ebony was interesting. I
even gave them a theme song, “Ebony and Ivory” by Stevie Wonder.
Pudge was the first to go. He went with Adriana, one of
my godchild Pamela’s friends. While Adriana and her mom were both excited to
have a puppy, the father didn’t share the same enthusiasm. Pudge left one
evening and was back in a heartbeat. After saying a tearful goodbye, he was
back with his mom, brothers and sisters the next morning.
My initial plan was to sell the pups for Bs. 100.000,
about $25, each to recover costs. While I wasn’t interested in making money, I
did want to at least pay for the food, vaccinations and vitamins. While the
first couple of puppies went quickly, I had one main concern. I didn’t want
Rascal to go to just anyone. He was special and I wanted to make sure I knew
who had him so I could visit later on. While there was initial interest from
some of the people we knew, no one stood up to the plate to claim him. In the
end, when push came to shove, I couldn’t bear to see Rascal raffled off to some
stranger. On a very emotional evening and with my hand in my heart, we let
Ebony go rather than Rascal.
The puppies went to these people and in this order:
œ Spot: Gave
him to our vigilante (Guard in our building) Pacheco. I was originally going
to charge him for the puppy and later ended up giving Spot to Pacheco. They
later named him Nerón.
œ Pudge:
Sold him to Alejandro Moreno who is related to Oscar Bigott. While Oscar was
initially hopeful Rocco had sired at least one of the puppies, it was evident
this wasn’t the case. They named him Brandon.
œ Ebony:
Sold her to a guy name Gerardo who gave her to his son Gerardito who is physically
handicapped. They changed her name to Luna.
œ Paf:
Gave her to Zoraida Colmenarez who took her to Sarare in the state of Lara.
They later named her Bree.
œ Poof:
Sold her to Raúl Ovalle as a part of a one day coaching session which I gave to
Raúl at the Botanical Gardens. They kept her name as Poof.
I have tremendous memories of the few months I was
together with all the puppies. I spent a lot of time playing with and cleaning
up after my babies. Of all the puppies, Rascal was the most rambunctious and
the one with the best personality. He was constantly playing with his brothers
and sisters, as well as with Sneaky. He continues to have a wonderful
character. While this book, 44 in a Row and 44 to Go marks a
significant break in my life, it coincides with a new phase I call, Rob and
Rascal Forever. This could very well be the name of the next volume of my reflections
on my life.
I had always heard the road to get published was a tough
one. Nevertheless, when I first started, I was convinced I would prevail and
get published. As I stated previously, after reading an article from the Chief
Editor of a publishing house in Argentina I began my quest to get my book
published. I followed his advice about writing a one page “Query Letter” which
explained why the publisher should be interested in my book. The last part of the
letter indicated that an “Editorial Proposal” with a more in depth analysis of
the book would be available. If they were interested in my Query Letter and
Editorial Proposal then the manuscript was available for consideration.
I generated interest with this approach with Pomaire in
mid 2005. When they didn’t give any concrete answer other than, “We are considering
the possibility of publishing your book,” I began testing the waters with other
publishers. I contacted a total of about 15 publishers in all. Editorial
Norma was another which expressed interest in late 2005.
In February 2006 Pomaire said, “While we like the book,
it’s not in our plans to publish any time soon.” In April 2006 while in the
depths of doubt concerning my professional direction, Norma gave me a similar
response. While both responses were a blow, the second response steered me in the
direction of self publishing my book.
I figured I would be able to sell the book at my
conferences, seminars and workshops if I had it available. I began researching
different ways I could publish “my baby” myself and began to analyze options
and pricing. During this time, something happened which changed my course.
I first sent Jupiter Editores my query letter in November
2005. One month later I talked to Arnoldo Zarate, the owner and Chief Editor.
He was very nice on the phone though he said he hadn’t seen the query letter I
had sent earlier so I sent it to him again. After attempting to contact him
several times, it wasn’t until the March 15, 2006, when I got him on the phone
again. He told me they weren’t taking on any additional books at the time. I
mentioned my desire to publish the book one way or another, even if it meant
doing it on my own. He told me to check back with him in June if I hadn’t
published by then.
In late May, a reminder popped up on my computer screen to
call Jupiter as I was working one day. My initial reaction when I saw the
reminder was to delete it. I had already gone through two complete cycles of
people expressing an interest in my book from the query letter and then
following up eventually to have them ask for and review the manuscript. In my
experience, the process took a long time, longer than I was willing to wait at
this time. Jupiter had not even expressed an interest based on my Query
Letter, so I knew I was at the very front end of the process. As I was about
to hit the delete key, I asked myself, “Wait a minute! What is one of the main
topics I teach, one of the cornerstones of Bouncing Back?” In a heartbeat, the
answer came, “Perseverance!” How could I get up and tell more than two
thousand people, the number of people who had attended my events at the time,
and tell them, “We must persevere in the most difficult of circumstance,” if I
wasn’t willing or able to do it myself? The mere thought seemed too
hypocritical! In essence, I shamed myself into picking up the phone and
dialing the telephone number which danced in front of me on the screen.
Much to my surprise, I was transferred to Arnoldo
immediately. I told him who I was and why I was calling. Without hesitation
he said, “We are still not taking any new commitments at this time.” My heart
sank as I drifted downward. Then he asked, “What are you thinking about
doing?” I told him I was going forth on my own to publish the book. He
offered to give me some ideas which might be valuable in my effort and I
accepted his offer.
On June 8, my 44th birthday, I went to their
office in La Candelaria to meet with Arnoldo. During our time together he gave
me several suggestions to publish my book. “Since they were publishers,” he
said, “he had several people who could make my dream a reality.” He explained
the first step would be to have the text edited. Then the artwork and text
would be submitted to the printer to have it reproduced. He told me for 1,000
copies my cost would be about Bs. 5 to 6 million which at the time was
equivalent to about US$2,000. In addition, he said for 50% of the retail
price, they could include it as part of their normal distribution channels
throughout Venezuela.
I loved the idea! It was much better than the other options
I had explored to date. In particular, the distribution process was one of my
major obstacles. He asked to look at the manuscript. While I had taken the
Editorial Proposal with me, I hadn’t bothered to print out and take another
manuscript since I didn’t envision the meeting going in that direction. I
promised and delivered the manuscript the following day.
We met again in person on July 3. He told me he had read
Un Don Especial, and said he liked it a lot. He said he felt it was a
great story and believed it would make an excellent addition to their stable of
works. He told me the standard agreement, which is the case for worldwide, was
to give the author a 10% royalty on the books. I had the choice of taking my
payment in books as they were printed, or in cash once every six months after determining
how many books had been sold. While it took me a moment to realize his
proposal was now to publish my book and not merely assist me in distribution of
my own self published book, an incredible sense of pride and accomplishment
spread from my head to my toes.
While inside I bubbled with energy, I calmly said, “Yes,
let’s do it! What’s the next step?” He told me we had to first correct the
text. In particular, I had put many Venezolanismos in the book. I had used
language which was very specific to the area. He suggested we make it more
universal so it would be appealing to people in other countries as well. I
agreed and had believed this to be the best path, though I had written the book
with local flavor. He told me we would sign a contract and had a model he gave
to me for review. While the actual process would take much longer than I
originally expected, I was off and running! My book Un Don Especial was
going to be available to the world through Jupiter Editores! This was one of
the happiest days of my life!
While I have many reasons to be proud of my girls, I had
special reason to be proud in 2006. It was Alicia’s senior year in high school
and her time to shine like the sun. She had decided earlier she wanted to
study medicine. In Venezuela, as is the case in many places, getting into
medical school is anything but a slam dunk.
To make things even more competitive in Venezuela, the best medical schools are public. As such, there are a certain number of spaces which
are reserved for the “underprivileged” and for sons and daughters of practicing
MD’s. The best and most difficult school to get into is the Universidad
Central de Venezuela (UCV). In the spring of 2006 the entrance exam was
conducted. Everyone who wants to study anything to do with medicine takes the
same exam on the same day. This includes people who want to study things like
nursing, pharmacology and the like.
On the Sunday of the exam, Alicia and I got up early and
I drove her to the UCV. Traffic was virtually non-existent, until we got close
to the university where a traffic jam backed up onto the highway. Just to get
into the university took us about 45 minutes. On this particular Sunday, the
only exam being given was for medicine. Alicia was prepped and ready to rock.
She took the exam and felt pretty good about how she had
done. The results were to be posted within a short period of time, so we
settled in and waited. We were told about 16,000 in total took the exam, about
half of which wanted to get directly into medical school. Considering only
about 200 would eventually get in, including the “special people” who had some
type of advantage because of their social status or parents, the odds to get in
were stiff. While I realized Alicia is very intelligent and I have always had full
confidence in her abilities, we were talking about a pretty steep hill to
climb. As a result, I encouraged Alicia to apply to other schools and in other
disciplines as well. She also applied to the Universidad de Simón Bolívar, the
best engineering school in the country, for Chemical Engineering, along with
several other schools just for good measure. While successful in her endeavor
in each instance, my advice turned out to be unnecessary.
The day we received the results of the medical exam will remain
with me forever! The results were posted on the internet and Alicia came out
#1 out of approximately 16,000 people who took the exam! We were beside ourselves
with joy! I thought about the traffic jam we met the day she took the exam.
To think my daughter, Alicia, was the smartest of all those people taking the
exam will forever be one of the proudest moments of my life. Along with the
birth of both Alicia and Chantalle, this day goes down in history as one of my
proudest and which makes me happy to be alive.
In Alicia’s school people started calling her “#1.” Her
school, Instituto Andes, lauded her accomplishment as one of their greatest as
a school. All schools are interested in the success of their students and this
was a wonderful opportunity for everyone involved to stand up and take a bow.
We were blessed with Ito and Ama making the trip down to Caracas to share in the festivities. We shared a wonderful couple of weeks when we played
with puppies, did graduation stuff and talked about work for which I was
preparing. My mom and Ito have always been tremendously supportive of
everything I’ve done and, in particular, with Inspire. It was fantastic to
have them with us for such a momentous event and to share in our joy with
Alicia.
The cherry on top of this special time was when we went
to the graduation ceremony. Alicia’s class was the “founding” class of the
school. They were the first class to have gone through every grade. This in
and of itself made it an extra special ceremony. As each girl got up to
receive her diploma, a brief history was told regarding their accomplishments
including their plans after graduating. Their chosen profession was announced
along with the universities which had accepted them. When Alicia’s
achievements were announced, which included several years where she won the
“Banda de Honor,” the highest achievement given to a student in each class
yearly, everyone stood up and gave her a standing ovation. As the ceremony
came to a close, the tension built up as the announcement for the senior class “Banda
de Honor” was to be announced. When Alicia’s name was announced, an incredible
sense of pride coursed through my veins. As Haydee, Chantalle and I went to
the podium to have Alicia receive her sash, I recall thinking, “If I accomplish
nothing else in my life, I feel I have arrived!” While Alicia’s incredible
achievements are apparent to all, Chanty also is a wonderful, caring and very special.
For all our two girls had become, I was the happiest man in the world!
At the same time Ito and Ama left to go back to Albuquerque, Alicia took Haydee along as a chaperone to Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic for their Senior trip. From what I understand, the senior girls went
wild on the beach and Haydee did the best she could to keep up with them.
I had several gigs during this time including Elmor,
LaFarge, Qualitas, Vepaco, PDVSA and a couple of more Eppa² including one in
Barquisimeto where I saw a couple of friends from my Merrill Lynch days. It
was great being busy again. This was all topped off by a great visit with my
dad in September. Things were Rocking and the best was yet to come!
Haydee came up with a great idea which has now become
routine. Since we moved to Venezuela, on Sundays Haydee’s cousin Mirtha would
come to our house with her family and often her brother Chichito would come as
well. We would sit around, eat something and shoot the breeze. One day Haydee
decided it would be a good idea to play tennis, so we started playing. Now
virtually every Sunday we play tennis. When we started, Haydee and I would
soundly beat Guillermo and Chichito. In time an excellent rivalry has
developed with frequent changes in dominance.
Though we all go out to win and have a good time, my
brother-in-law Chichito is particularly competitive. He has been my greatest
supporter since I got to Venezuela and has helped me out enormously. For this
I respect and love him greatly. Playing any kind of game with him, however,
brings an entirely different element to the mix. After playing with him now
for several years in this weekly ritual, I believe he will do just about
anything to win. While this has caused some rift between us, we have always
been able to settle things in the end, though the end has lasted for a while in
several instances.
As for Haydee, she anxiously awaits each Sunday with
enthusiasm. She lives and breathes tennis. Since learning on the clay courts
in Argentina, she’s been hooked. Though we don’t get all the tournaments which
are played around the world broadcast on TV, any which hit any of our cable
stations is cause for great joy. The VCR’s are set to record and we settle in
for the battle. Haydee isn’t a happy camper if we don’t play tennis on Sundays
for any reason. As a result, I do my best to make sure we play tennis on
Sundays!
I take Sneaky and Rascal down to the court where we play and
they wander all over the place. Even though we restrict them to a certain
area, there is a lot of room to roam though Rascal, in particular, stretches it
to the limits. Where we play is very close to where we live and the soccer
fields in the same complex fill with people on the weekends. There is a lot of
vegetation around the area and particularly during the rainy season, the lush
green area is a great place to be outside and breathe fresh air.
When we come up, a nice cold beer is in store as well as
a competitive game of Dominoes. Chichito again becomes very aggressive in
these matches and is sometimes banned by the others or bans himself for his misbehavior.
While I don’t play often, I jump in when a 4th is required and enjoy
the times I do play. Even though I realize there’s a strategy and certain way
to play Dominoes well, I don’t stress about it and just play the best I can,
always learning a little more each time.
We top the afternoons off by cooking or ordering food. This
tradition has become standard fare in our household and I thank Haydee
immensely for this routine! As of August 31, 2006, I have been married to
Haydee for 21 years and have known her for 23 years. She has been with me for
more than half of my life! While we have had our difficulties, like all couples,
I wouldn’t trade those years for anything. She is a wonderful lady. I am who
I am and where I am today in great part because of her support and
unconditional love.
Since beginning Inspire, my computer was my life. One of
my first purchases when I started on my new venture was a computer and,
unfortunately, I had constant problems with this particular purchase. While
I’m sure Hewlett Packard is an excellent company and makes excellent products,
my particular experience with their laptop computer wasn’t positive. I am
grateful also for their business since they are one of my clients!
From the moment I bought it, I had problems. When I
would least expect it, the computer would completely freeze. After several
calls to HP, they had me change the BIOS which they assured me was the
problem. While the freeze ups came to a halt, when the computer heated up to a
certain point, it would just turn off.
I tried several times to get the situation rectified
without a positive result. Instead, I made frequent backups and learned to be
flexible. I found two little “feet” which were reflectors in the shape of feet
and I took them everywhere with me. They served to prop the computer up a
little bit and the extra airflow seemed to help. Nonetheless, on the programs
I conducted which were for a half day or more, I fully expected the computer to
shut down at anytime. While this wasn’t ideal, it did teach me to expect the
unexpected at anytime. As a speaker, I believe this to be one of my important lessons
since anything can happen at any time.
In late October 2006, the inevitable happened and my
computer died for good. Despite valiant attempts to apply first aid and revive
it, I couldn’t do anything to recover the information I had stored on the hard
drive. I called in an expert and after several days trying to boot the
machine, he told me it was dead on arrival. He explained I could buy a new
hard drive though it would probably be better to buy a new computer since the
root of the situation seemed to be much deeper than just the hard drive. I
offered to pay him for his services, to the tune of about $30, or to give him
the computer. He chose the computer and I was happy to give it to him. At
least he could use it for parts while for me it would have just been a rather
large paper weight.
I go through this whole explanation because I learned the
value of backups and also the true importance of all the little goodies we
store on the computer. The last full backup I had made was towards the end of
2005 about 10 months previous to The Crash. My last partial backup of my updated
Inspire information was made in August of 2006. While I initially was upset
and constantly looking for information, I learned it wasn’t the end of the
world and despite the lost data, life went on.
Fortunately, I had begun the habit of keeping my
presentations on a memory stick to assure I could give my presentation even if
my computer dumped. As a result, I had what was most important to me and was
completely updated as of my last presentation. My next several presentations
were given from my memory stick and something surprising happened. As it turns
out, they were among the best presentations I had given in my entire career! While
technology is important, I also realize it is not the most important part of
what I do.
Around this same time, I also made a very sharp departure
from my original position regarding evaluations. I started my speaking career
with a guarantee I gave clients. If the evaluation received from the
participants didn’t hit specific benchmarks, they didn’t have to pay me my
entire fee. While in practice this occurred only a couple of times and in one
of those cases the client paid me the full fee anyway, it was my way of saying,
“I’m confident in my abilities and know I will do a good job!”
While this sounds good on the surface and perhaps helped
me get my foot in the door on a few occasions, I find the whole evaluation
system to be full of flaws. First of all, people are generally tired after a
session and often the last thing they want to do is give an evaluation.
Secondly, I asked participants to put their personal information on the
evaluation so I could send them follow up information primarily in the form of
my Lunar Letter. While it never ceases to amaze me how willing people are to
give their information, particularly in Venezuela, I believe it also had a
profound effect on the type of evaluation received. After all they had no idea
who would read the evaluation and unless it was an open event where they were
paying themselves, they were bound to say what they felt their superiors wanted
to hear.
In addition, I began to realize the evaluations were of
only limited benefit to me. After an event, I know if things went well or
not. It’s really not necessary for anyone to tell me. It’s evident what
people think by their body language and participation during our time together
and by the comments they make to me personally. When virtually no one comes up
after I am done speaking to ask questions or make a comment, I know something
is wrong!
Notwithstanding, evaluations are still important for some
people and some institutions, like IESA, base their pay on the evaluations. One
of the events during my run of three where I was on fire towards the end of
2006 was with IESA. I knew after the event things had gone very well. When I
received the performance evaluations, I had received a 4.99, the highest I had
ever received from an event I had conducted with IESA. The participants rank
the professor on a scale of one to five on fourteen different elements. Each
of the participants had given me a five on every single category with the
exception of one person who gave me a four on one single element. I received a
total of 209 (5’s) and 1 (4). Perhaps it is best I received one (4) as I firmly
believe there is always room for improvement! Some say it’s the biggest room we
all have. Nevertheless, I now know what a near perfect workshop feels like!
Even so, I have determined what I do is only part of the
equation. The other, and at times even more important element, comes from the
group. I can be on fire and if the group is in the pits, it doesn’t matter
what I do, there is just no flow. I could stand on my head while doing
cartwheels and it would make no difference. Contrarily, there can be times
when the group is hopping and I’m not at my best. My experience thus far
enables me to gauge energy levels for myself and the group to determine where
to go and what to do with the material I’m presenting.
Perhaps my biggest and most liberating discovery as a
public speaker is to do the best I can given what I know and how I feel in the
moment. As long as I give my best effort in every conference, seminar and
workshop, I shouldn’t feel bad about the result. This has enlightened me
tremendously. By choosing this attitude, my aim has become to enjoy the
process wherever it may lead. As long as I can teach and affect other people’s
lives in a positive way and enjoy the process, I believe I am on the right
track. The times when I need to reevaluate what I’m doing is when I don’t give
my very best, regardless of the reason or excuse I may choose to fool myself.
I first heard about the Chinese Bamboo Tree from Joel
Weldon in the late 1980’s. As the story goes, you plant a seed for the Chinese
Bamboo Tree, water it and take care of it for a year. All you see is a small
sprout. During the second year you do the same and there is no change.
Similarly after watering and taking care of it in the third and fourth year
there is no noticeable change. Sometime during the fifth year, the Chinese
Bamboo Tree grows 90 feet in six weeks!
While I have seen conflicting accounts as to whether or
not this actually happens, it does make a good story and it is illustrative of so
many things in life. We must sow, take care of and nurture our dreams in order
for them to take hold and grow. On December 12, 2006, I felt my own Bamboo
Tree had grown 90 feet in a period of several weeks!
In December, 2001, I wrote my Burning Desire while
traveling in Rio de Janeiro. I outlined a plan to achieve my Burning Desire in
the Sheraton Hotel on Copacabana beach. Five years later I sat in my living
room with almost 300 copies of my book Un Don Especial spread out before
me. About 130 of them were my royalties from Jupiter and the balance I had
purchased to sell in my events.
I have experienced the power of setting, establishing and
working towards goals many times in my life. As I sat in my living room
thinking about the events which had transpired over the last several weeks, I began
to feel the heat of my Burning Desire. Though I hadn’t yet accomplished all I
desired, I was well on my way!
As a result of a very conscious decision to relax and
enjoy my role as public speaker and facilitator, I was rocking like never
before in my work. After what seemed to be a never ending number of hours
writing, planning and selling, my book was finally published. In front of me
lay the proof it could and had been done. I realized as we believe, so also
can we achieve!
The last five years flashed before me. The decision to
base my work on a bouncing ball, the move from Argentina to Venezuela, the
first calls to sell my services as a public speaker, the planning and
preparation before each event, the thrill when a big deal was closed, the
heartache when one fell through, the exhilaration of magical moments which
honed and defined my message, the fears, uncertainties and doubts which crept into
mind, sometimes at the most inopportune moments, the inevitable ray of hope and
inspiration which kept me going in the most difficult of circumstance. All
these memories came rushing back running through my mind like a movie.
I thought of the difficulties. I remember thinking
perhaps the roughest moments were perhaps only a test. “Could I put my own
advice into practice and overcome difficulty as I had told so many people to
do?” Maybe there was a big plan in the scheme of things which required I test
and evaluate my own thoughts. There were many times when I wondered whether
all I talked about was effective or just so many words designed to gloss over
something which could not be dealt with in any precise manner.
As I sat, thinking about so many things, I wanted to know
the exact date I had written down my Burning Desire. I searched and found my
notes. December 13, 2001, was the exact date I had created my Burning Desire
while sitting in my hotel room looking out over the ocean in Rio de Janeiro. I
was floored! I couldn’t believe it had been almost five years to the day. The
story of the Chinese Bamboo Tree came to mind and I realized my own Chinese
Bamboo Tree had taken almost five years to suddenly have a tremendous spurt of
growth.
Together with Haydee, Alicia and Chanty, I shared tears
of joy, emotion and accomplishment. I realized every word written, every
sentence uttered and every call I made had been worth it. I felt a tremendous
sense of well being and happiness. It seemed as if things were finally on the
upswing. Even more exciting was that my clients as well as others interested
in my work were calling me and I had something wonderful to talk about!
While I realize I still have a long way to go, I also know
I have come a long way. I live a life which frequently seems like a fairy
tale. With all the ups and downs, twists and turns, I feel blessed with so
many wonderful things. In my venture to put into practice my own Burning Desire
and despite a drastic drop in income, I felt I was doing something worthy. I
felt and still feel I can make a positive difference in people’s lives.
Two days later, on December 14, I had a gig for 95 people
with Wyeth Laboratories. I sold my books as part of the deal and I received
them just in time. It was a year-end meeting for their sales force and they
were fired up, as was I! It was a fairly small room in the Eurobuilding in Caracas and the place was packed. Not another chair could be squeezed in and there were
people standing against the walls. I was hired to rock their world and with
the emotional energy I had, things did indeed rock!
I got to the end of my presentation and as I was about to
give out my books for the first time in front of a live audience, I got choked
up. The energy I felt surrounding me is something I will never ever forget!
As I handed out the books, electricity seemed to emanate through my body. I
went with the flow and basked in the moment.
As I closed, several people rushed up to me and my first
book signing took place. While I had imagined signing books in a bookstore or
at some other type of event, I had never really thought about people swarming
around me after a gig. I took a pen someone gave me and began signing books.
I hadn’t ever even thought about how I would sign the books or what I would say.
In an instant the answer came, ¡Que el rebote esté contigo! May the Bounce be
with you!
As the story goes…
“You plant the Bamboo Tree seed, water, fertilize and care
for it and see almost no growth. During the second year you water, fertilize
and care for it and nothing happens. The same happens during the third and
fourth years. Sometime during the fifth year the Chinese Bamboo Tree grows 90
feet in six weeks!
I have had just such an experience!
In December of 2001, I was in a bad way. My job was in jeopardy
after the Twin Towers bombing on 11 September 2001 in the United States and a downturn in the markets. Seligman for the first time since initiating
operations in 1864 was going to lay off personnel. In November 2008, 15% of
the workforce was out of a job. While I made the cut and still had my job,
things didn’t look good as more cuts were surely to come. Liliana, who
initially helped my tremendously to get hired with Seligman, was gone as were
several other people I knew. I knew I wasn’t safe for long.
So on 13 December 2001, on a Thursday night, I stayed in my
room in the Sheraton Hotel in Rio and wrote my Burning Desire. I outlined what
I wanted to do and where I wanted to go in life. I sensed the tide changing in
Seligman and began to focus my efforts on my Burning Desire!
While at first my thoughts were not completely clear, they
began to revolve around “The Bounce,” which later formed the cornerstone of my
work.
During five years this seed has been watered, fed and cared
for sometimes to a greater degree than others yet always moving forward and
ahead.
“Sometime during the fifth year, the Chinese Bamboo Tree
grows 90 feet in six weeks.”
As I picked the boxes which contained my royalty of the first
edition of Un Don Especial, I realized my “Bouncing Ball Tree” had grown
90 feet in six weeks! I am coming off some incredible events:
15 Nov 2006: Seminar for Wyeth Laboratories with upper
management in Paseo las Mercedes
16 Nov 2006: Adriática de Seguros with 160 people in the
Eurobuilding en an elegant salon
23 & 24 Nov 2006: IESA Formación Gerencial where I
garnered a 4.99 evaluation with 5.00 being the top score.
08 Dec 2006: Picked up first 10 copies of Un Don Especial
from Jupiter.
12 Dec 2006: Brought home my “Royalty” books. I received a
total of 112 books which represented 10% of the printing. In addition, I
received 20 books for promotional purposes and bought another 150 more to
sell. In total I had 282 books before me and was ecstatic!
14 Dec 2006: First meeting after picking up Un Don
Especial with 95 people from Wyeth Laboratories packed into a small room at
the Eurobuilding with a ton of energy and enthusiasm.
¡Qué el Rebote esté Contigo!
I truly relieve my Bouncing Ball Tree has grown tremendously
in the last five weeks!
One last thought…
I have 43 Lunar Letters. In 9 months I will have 52 and can
do coaching and/or interventions based on this volume of thought. I can have
one member of a team choose a Lunar Letter weekly to discuss at a weekly
meeting and go an entire year without having to repeat!
The year finished off with a wonderful visit from Ito and
Ama. Ito’s retirement at the beginning of 2006, afforded them with a great new
range of possibilities, primarily in terms of travel. Fortunately for us, they
have chosen our place as one of their main getaways. It’s always wonderful to
have them at our house. Even though my mom caught a bug which she was unable
to shake while she was here and I also caught something similar which attacked
my throat with great vigor, we had a wonderful time sharing the holidays with
them to top off a fantastic 2006!
A document which has never been far from my side for over
15 years is one I extracted from Mission Success by Og Mandino. The
book culminates in words which have motivated and inspired me since I was working
with Liberty Financial while in Denver. I first heard the words on a cassette
I checked out from the library. I can still recall stopping and rewinding the
cassette as I transcribed the words. At the time, while I realized the words
were from Og Mandino, I had no idea they were from one of his books. Later I
made a couple of feeble attempts to translate the masterpiece into Spanish.
Then one day as I was in an airport on my way to Maracaibo, I picked up a copy
of Misión Éxito by Og Mandino. Lo and behold, I found the source of what I had
been looking for already translated into Spanish!
As I began talking to people about my own book, Un Don
Especial, I was faced with an interesting decision. “How do I get my book
into people’s hands?” I wondered. “Should I charge everyone for it? Should I
give it to family? What should I do when I meet up with a friend?” These were
questions which plagued me as I struggled between “making money” on my book and
“giving it away.”
The first day I had gone to pick up my books, I went to
the Eurobuilding to scope out the room where I was going to have the meeting
with Wyeth. Coral Benzecri from Edepsa was there with another group from Astra
Zeneca. She introduced me to the General Manager and the head of Human
Resources. I had promised Coral one of the first copies of my book so when I
was leaving she walked with me to my car. As I pulled one book out to give to
her, she said, “Why don’t you give me another one to give to my Human Resource
friend at Astra Zeneca?” I gave her the book though with great hesitance. She
noticed my reluctance and told me, “Don’t worry, Rob, think of it as an investment.
They have over 400 people working with the company. If she likes it, they may
buy one for everybody!”
As I drove home, I realized she was right. It made good
business sense to put my book into the right hands. At the same time, I felt
as if something was being ripped from my soul as I gave the books away. I
thought to myself, “So much work and so much time just to give my book away!”
During my evening Roga ritual, I realized what I was feeling must be similar to
what women feel when they have a baby. So much time spent caring for and
nourishing a living being and then boom, it’s all over!” I determined I was
having post-partum depression with my book!
The evening I attended my 25th high school
reunion came rushing back in my mind. My classmate sold his books to those who
were interested. I thought, “How cheap!” “He must not be doing very well if
he can’t afford to give away a few books to his classmates.” At the same time
I realized he probably, and rightfully so, wanted to be compensated for his
hard work. “How can I profit from my books and at the same time spread the
message of Un Don Especial?” The question burned in my mind.
Then one day in a flash, the solution came to me. I
decided to give my book to people along with a promise and a responsibility.
In the same way El Patrón gives the book Reflections to Juan José in my
story, I would spread my message as well. The same way seeds are planted in
the hope they will sprout and grow, I would plant seeds of success with my
book.
Now each time I give a book away, I have a little story
which goes something like this, “Would you like a copy of my book?”
“Sure I would, how much does it cost?” often comes the
reply.
“While the investment for the book is Bs. 30.000 (US$10),
you can’t buy this particular book,” I respond.
“Why not?” they ask.
“Because I’m going to give you this book if you agree to
my conditions.”
“Mmmm, that all depends, what are the conditions?”
“This book comes with a promise and a responsibility.
Are you game?” I query.
“Well, it all depends; tell me what you have in mind…”
“Ok,” I continue. “I wrote this book to be read, not to
be placed on a coffee table somewhere so you can say, ‘I know the author!’
Furthermore, whatever you do, when you get home, don’t put it in your
bookcase. It’s small and if you put it there, it may stay there forever!” At
this point I frequently get a giggle or a laugh. “So,” I say, “The condition
is for you to actually read the book! I know many don’t read much these days.
For this reason, I wrote the book so it would be very easy to read. Depending
on how quickly you read, it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours or so to
read the whole thing.
“So, are you with me on the condition?” I ask as I look
them in the eyes. While most people nod “yes,” I have had a couple of people
tell me they won’t read it. In the case they tell me they won’t read it, I
don’t give them the book! If they tell me they will read it, I go on and tell
them, “This promise is part for me and much more for you. The best way for us
to enhance our self-esteem is by keeping our word to others. When you finish
reading the book, I won’t know, unless you tell me. You, however, will know.
The fact you kept your word with me will make you feel better. In addition,
you get an added bonus. Every time we finish reading a book, we feel a sense
of accomplishment. Sometimes it’s a huge accomplishment for those who don’t
read much, though, even for those who read a lot, there is always a sense of satisfaction
as we finish the last words in a book and set it down.”
“Ok, I’m with you on the promise,” most respond. “What’s
the responsibility?”
I smile and say, “If and only if you like the book, your
responsibility is to share its message with others. If you give someone your
book, there is a good chance you will never see it again. Don’t ask me why,
this is just the nature of book giving,” I state with a grin. “What I would
suggest, in addition to telling them about the message, is to tell them to buy
the book! Better yet, you can buy as many books as you like and give them as
gifts. As the name in English implies, the book is indeed A Special Gift!”
I always have extra books on hand and in many cases they
buy at least one book at the normal retail price. In several cases people have
bought many more precisely to give as gifts. My strategy is to “plant” my
books as seeds. While I don’t just go around giving my book to everyone I meet,
though perhaps I should, to date I have given over 100 books. So far the strategy
has worked and the feedback I have received has been extremely positive. In
addition, I have been one of my editor’s best clients! So far I have been
directly responsible getting almost 500 books into people’s hot little hands.
While the initial printing was 1,000 books, my editor told me recently the next
run, which will be soon, will be for at least 2,000 books. In the meantime, I
continue to plant Seeds of Success!
Recently I have received information from several sources
which indicate how really small we are as a planet and thus as people in the
general scheme of things. The size of the earth in comparison to the sun is
tiny and our sun in comparison to the largest stars (suns) in the universe is
but a pinpoint.
In turn, I also read an experiment which indicates how much
of a mark we will have on life after we are gone. To do the experiment, you
put your hand in a glass of water, then take it out and see what kind of mark
is left.
I have my own special version which I call, “Por Esas Aguas…”
In a large clear container filled with water, do the
experiment exactly as before with a volunteer. Ask him or her to stick a hand
in the water to see what kind of mark they leave. Then I ask them how they
want to live life. Would they like a calm serene life or prefer to shake
things up a bit?
Then I introduce several objects into the water. I then
instruct them, because of the time constraints we have in life, they can only
choose two of the items in the container. The items they choose represent what
they will do with their life! I demonstrate by reaching into the container
extracting two of the objects. I show them to the audience and then put them
back into the container.
If time permits, I let each participant choose the two items
which are most meaningful to them. If not I have a select few individuals do
the experiment. I can ask another participant to help me log the results.
When everyone is finished, I take and shake two objects at a
time in rapid succession. As the water splashes out of the container and I
make a complete mess, I say, “I want to live my life with intensity before
leaving everything behind while making lots of waves!
Charles Swindol said, “Life is 10% what happens to us and
90% our reaction to what happens.” While we can’t always change what life has
in store for us on a daily basis, we can change our reaction. We have all had
“one of those days” where nothing seems to go right. We wake up stubbing our
toe on the bed post and things go downhill from there. Those who are able to
get up and make things happen in their lives are those who are able to take
life’s tumbles in stride by reacting positively to negative events and making
the best of a bad situation.
As often happens with electronic messages, I received two
messages in the same week which contained an article written by Stephen Covey.
He mentioned the same statistics as Swindol and emphasized the importance of
our reaction rather than the event as a determining factor in our success.
While I’m now not sure who first talked about this law, its applicability can’t
be denied.
One morning I had several appointments. In order to miss
the rush hour traffic, I got up early to do my exercise, take my “kids” down
and do my morning routine peacefully. I heated up some hot water, poured it
into a thermos and headed out into the jungle with mate in hand. Since I was
leaving about two hours before my first appointment, I was in no rush and was
taking my time. It was my first business meeting of the New Year so I put on
my “Inspire Jams,” a CD I made with music which always motivates me.
As I was stopped waiting for traffic to advance, I felt
my car lurch forward. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a jeep in my
backend. I got out and said hello to the lady. She apologized for hitting me
and we proceeded to look at the cars. After giving a quick look she said,
“It’s a good thing nothing happened to your car.” She then proceeded to go to
her car to leave.
I said, “Whoa there just a minute. You hit my car and
there is damage to the bumper.” While the damage was minor, it would require
the body shop to paint the entire bumper. From experience I knew about how
much money it would cost to fix. I was planning on selling my car to buy a
pickup and I had recently washed it so I was familiar with all the nicks and
scratches. I explained this to her and she said, “Well look at your car, you
have it held together by tape!” The car I was driving was a 2006 Ford Focus
and the tape she referred to was placed strategically so my dogs wouldn’t
scratch the car when they jumped in the back.
I explained the entire situation to her and she said, “I
see! You want me to pay to fix your car so you can sell it!” I assured her
this wasn’t the case, though she was relentless. As we waited for the traffic
cop to come and sort things out she got on her cell phone and made several
calls telling the person on the other end some idiot, referring to me, wanted
her to pay to fix his car so he could sell it. She further explained the car
was being held together by tape.
I couldn’t believe what I heard though I was still
relatively calm. We waited for a traffic cop to come because in Venezuela you can’t move cars involved in a traffic accident until an official comes to
inspect the situation and write a report. One guy rode up on a bicycle.
Though he wasn’t the official traffic guy, he belonged to the municipal police
department. He asked what happened and I explained she had hit me from
behind. He told us we had two options. We could either agree between us to
handle the situation, or we could wait for the traffic cops to come and make a
report. Knowing what was involved in the process of reporting a traffic
accident, I decided to just walk away.
I went up to the lady and I told her, “Listen, rather
than going through the whole process of reporting the accident, I’m willing to
just leave things as is. I sincerely wish you the very best in your life and
in everything you do. At the same time,” I continued, “what goes around, comes
around and all I really want is for you to take responsibility for what you
did.” It must have been the part about, “What goes around, comes around,” which
got her ire because she laid into me big time.
“Who are you to tell me how I should act?” she screamed
at me. “Furthermore, who are you to tell me about religion?” While I’m not
sure where this particular reference came from, I quickly changed my mind about
what I wanted to do.
I turned to the police officer and told him, “We’ll wait
for the traffic cops.”
She looked at me as if she wanted to kill me. If she had
a weapon, she probably would have. She insisted the damage to my bumper was
there before she hit me while I assured her it wasn’t. I went into my car,
turned on the music and poured myself some mate. As I sat there sipping on
mate listening to music. Traffic began to get heavier and we were in the
middle of the “fast lane” which is a lane typically going in the other
direction and is closed to oncoming cars to facilitate morning rush hour
traffic.
As cars honked and people rubber necked to see what
happened, I sat in my car listening to my rock and roll sipping mate. Later I
imagined the morning traffic helicopter reporting on traffic conditions through
the radio, “We have a back up in the fast lane of the Boulevard del Cafetal.
There is an irate woman waving her arms up and down while the other driver
appears to be sitting in his car listening to music and drinking mate!”
As I sat there, I remembered the words which had come to
me by e-mail recently. “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react
to what happens.” While my initial reaction wasn’t ideal and I’m sure I
shouldn’t have told the lady what I did, my choice was now to determine how I
handled the rest of the situation.
We waited for about 15 minutes before the proper
authorities arrived. They asked for our documents, for our version of what
happened and then stopped traffic to take measurements. All the while horns
were honking and people drove by giving us dirty looks. While I had the upper
hand as far as the accident was concerned, unfortunately, my medical
certificate, which is required to drive in Venezuela, had expired about a month
before.
After the official took measurements and analyzed the
situation, we followed him to a transit module a couple of blocks away. As
they began to process the paperwork, one of the cops told me I had to pay a
fine for not having the proper documentation. The total amount of damage I
would have to pay in a fine came to about the same amount it would cost me to
fix the bumper, which I guessed at about $200. Fortunately through experience I
knew everything is negotiable when it comes to traffic stops in Venezuela.
In the meantime a security guy on a motorcycle arrived
and did his best to mediate. While I was very calm by then, the lady was still
hostile. I decided to just take things easy and hang out. I talked to the
guys there and gave away three of my small business balls to the cops along
with my explanation about how important it is for us to “Always Bounce Back one
more time!” One of the balls I gave was to the motorcycle guy whose name was
Manuel Morales. He was able to convince the lady she was indeed responsible
for the damage to the car.
She gave the official her information first while I
talked to Manuel. He asked me what I did for a living and I explained I was a
public speaker and author. I showed him my book and explained in more detail
what I talk and write about. After the lady had finished giving her
information, she went to her car and I walked over to give the traffic guy my
information.
As I gave the official my address, he told me the lady
was my neighbor! She lives on the same street as I a few buildings away. I asked
the guy to give me just a minute. I went over to the lady who had already
gotten in her car and was getting ready to leave. I asked her to roll down her
window which she did with hesitation. I said, “Listen, we’re neighbors and I
really don’t wish you any ill will. Poop happens all the time and it’s just
part of daily ups and downs. I work to help people manage change and
difficulty as well as stay motivated.” I gave her a ball and explained the
idea of being able to, “Bounce Back at least one more time.”
She explained weakly she was sorry for the way she had
reacted. I accepted her apology and she was on her way. In the end, she got a
ticket and I got a slap on the wrist which cost me a “consideration” of about $20
to avoid the fine for not having my medical certificate current. After all was
said and done, I didn’t even make the claim to her insurance company because it
was just too much hassle.
This was, however, just the start of what would turn out
to be a great day! I was on my way to a meeting with a major bank in Venezuela. I had called to say I would be a few minutes late because of what happened
despite my early start. When I got to the meeting, which my friend Coral from
Edepsa set up, the Human Resource director was distracted and rude.
Nevertheless, I went through my presentation with great gusto. Afterwards,
Coral told me not to worry about the lady’s behavior since she typically acted
in a similar fashion. She said they loved my presentation and I would be
getting gigs.
I then went to a meeting with my friend Gonzalo Tirado
who was previously the head of Stanford Bank. Gonzalo has demonstrated a great
deal of trust in me since I started Inspire and I, in turn, have a great deal
of respect for him. The purpose of the meeting was to give him my book and
discuss some ideas I had about Resilience.
One Sunday morning as I was searching through the web, I
looked up the word Resilience since I have determined this best defines my
theory about bouncing back from difficulty. One of the top hits took me to
Wikipedia which, in turn, led me to Dr. Al Siebert who is one of the leading
authorities on resilience and what it takes to be a survivor. After browsing
through his website, I shot off an e-mail to him telling him I had some ideas I
would like to discuss and asking when would be a convenient time for me to call
him. While I often send out such mails, I don’t always get a response. This
case was different.
I got a response the following day. He asked me what I
wanted to talk about. I mentioned the work I do and how it seems to fit hand
in hand with his work. He gave me a day and time to call him which I did. In
the course of our conversation, I mentioned my book Un Don Especial and
the translation A Special Gift, which had just been published. He has
written several books, one of which is The Resiliency Advantage, which
had also been recently published and had won the award as the Best Self-Help
Book in 2006 by the Independent Publishers Book Awards.
Dr. Siebert suggested we trade books and I loved the idea.
I sent him my book and he sent me his. In addition, he introduced me to a colleague
in Brazil, Dra. Claudia Riecken. She has published two books, both which deal
with Resiliency and the survivor personality. One is Sobre Viver and
the other is Autonomia para Vencer. I contacted her in a similar
fashion and we made the same deal. I sent her my book and she sent me both of
her books. Among other things, I learned this idea of, “You show me yours, and
I’ll show you mine,” works great with authors. It’s a wonderful way of giving
and receiving at the same time.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I was itching to tell others
about my new found discovery of resilience and of my two new friends Dr.
Siebert and Dra. Riecken both of whom share my passion. I told Gonzalo about
what was going on and he said, “Rob, I have an idea. How about if we put
together a seminar which we can hold here in Venezuela? You can invite your Dr.
Siebert and Dra. Riecken to join you and we can do events in each of the major
cities here in Venezuela. Find out how much they charge and what we need to do
to make it happen.”
I was ecstatic about the idea and I knew just the person
to handle the logistics for the event. I called Coral and stopped by her
office on the way to my next meeting. I explained what we were talking about
and she was game to go for the gusto. While the event was later postponed due
to conflicting schedules, I was flying high!
I called my friend Marcos Levy to confirm a lunch meeting
and drove to his office. As I pulled in front of his building I saw Manuel
Morales, the same guy I met earlier in the day as we filled out paperwork for
the fender bender, sitting on his motorcycle. He immediately recognized me. I
opened my window and asked him, “What are you doing here? Are you going to
give me a ticket?” I asked with a smile. He laughed and smiled back at me.
As it turns out, he doesn’t work for the police as I initially thought, rather
for a private security company. They are frequently called upon to help
mediate in a variety of situations.
“You’ll never believe what happened!” he told me
excitedly.
“What happened?” I wanted to know.
“When I went home for lunch, my stepson was having a bad
day. I told him the story about the bouncing ball which you told me this
morning and I gave him the ball. It made all the difference in the world and
it made his day!”
I was floored! My deepest desire is to share my message
regarding the importance of Bouncing Back. While it is difficult imagining
overcoming many situations, we can think about Bouncing Back one more time to
come back and fight another day. Here was a gentleman I had met recently who
confirmed the message I have worked so hard to share. Ecstasy filled my being
just knowing I had somehow made a positive difference in this little boy’s
life, someone I had not even met and who had benefited from my philosophy.
As time goes on, I meet more and more people who stop me
in the street and say, “Though I can’t remember your name, aren’t you the one with
the bouncing balls?” While I have yet to capitalize monetarily to the extent I
would like on the idea, it gives me great satisfaction to know my message
sticks. Knowing I am able to touch people’s lives in a positive way giving
them hope and faith to Bounce Back from life’s most difficult circumstance
gives me a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside.
Monday, January 22, 2007, started out like any other
day. Having someone rear-end me gave me a chance to put into practice the idea,
“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% our reaction to what happens.” We are
masters of our destiny. We have the power to control our thoughts and our
reaction to difficulty. What we think and how we act isn’t determined by what
happens to us, rather by how we process the information.
In Venezuela a book is baptized and it is said each book
is like a child with its own beginning and story. I hadn’t thought about who
was going to be the godfather for my book and the idea hadn’t ever entered into
my realm of consciousness until my editor Arnoldo Zarate asked me who the
godfather was going to be. The idea came to me in a flash. Guillermo Dávila,
an actor and singer I had met recently.
I take Sneaky and Rascal downstairs twice a day to do
their duty. One day I met a lady who had a Labrador by the name of Tarzan. Several
days later I met the boyfriend and other owner of Tarzan. It turns out the
boyfriend’s name was Guillermo Dávila and the woman, Laura, was his
girlfriend. At the time I knew neither his name nor who he was. We would see
each other downstairs and talk every once in a while. Initially, I didn’t
think anything more of the situation.
One day my friend Fernando Celis was with me. We took
the dogs downstairs and as we were leaving he asked me, “How long have you
known Guillermo Dávila?”
“Who?” I asked. “You mean’s Tarzan’s owner?”
“You mean you don’t know who he is?” Fernando asked.
“Are you on the moon again thinking about your Lunar Letters? What’s wrong
with you? He’s a famous actor and singer!”
When I got home, I looked up “Guillermo Dávila” on the
internet and, sure enough his name came up with hundreds of hits as an actor
and singer. The next time I saw him, I told him I didn’t realize what he did
professionally. As far as I was concerned he was Tarzan’s owner. He just
laughed.
I mentioned my book, told him it was being published and said
I would like to talk to him about different ways to promote it. I explained I
had absolutely no idea about how to promote anything, other than myself. He
asked me what the book was about and when I told him, he said it sounded
interesting. In particular, he told me it might be of interest to one of his
friends in Puerto Rico.
One Sunday morning several months later I went to have
coffee with Guillermo and Laura. The same afternoon, my cousin Guillermo
Martín came over to play tennis. He asked me, “How’s Macario doing?”
“Who?” I inquired.
“Rob, you must be on the moon, again!” Many people
associate me with the moon since I have been publishing my Lunar Letter and I
admit to being somewhat of a lunatic! He continued, “Your friend Guillermo
Dávila is named ‘Macario’ on the soap opera he is on!”
“You mean he’s on a soap opera now?” I asked. I didn’t
realize he was still acting on soap operas and it had never come up in
conversation.
“Yes! He’s on the soap opera called ‘Ciudad Bendita’.”
As I processed the information, I asked, “What time is
the soap opera come out on television?”
“9:00 PM,” came the answer.
I felt a chill run up my spine. About three years
earlier, in my book Un Don Especial, I wrote about soap operas and
specifically the soap opera at 9:00 PM. Realizing the importance these shows have
in Venezuela, I mentioned the happiest moments for Juan José, the book’s main
character, were when he sat down in the evenings to watch the soap opera at
9:00 PM. Little did I know one of the protagonists of a soap opera which aired
at 9:00 PM would appear in my life!
A few weeks earlier my friend Leo Alcalá lent me a movie
called “The Secret.” The main message talks about the “Law of Attraction”
which says we attract into our lives what we think about. While I believe
there is much more than just “thinking about something” to make it happen, I am
convinced I somehow attracted Guillermo into my life. I asked him to be the
godfather of my book and he agreed. Just about everyone in Venezuela knows who he is and, as a result, people were even more interested to come to the baptism.
The event took place on February 24 at a book fair in Caracas called “El Salón del Libro.” I had fortunately been very busy with several events
with Banco Fondo Común, IESA and Hewlett Packard. As a result, I didn’t have a
lot of time to plan for the event. Nevertheless, my editor Jupiter took care
of the logistics. I sent out a couple of e-mails to my contacts and called
several people to invite them personally.
On the day of the event, we got there a little later than
we planned and at the exact time we had told people the event would start.
Knowing the typical Venezuelan custom seems to arrive late, we told people the
event was to start 45 minutes earlier than the actual time. We had a great
turnout and the room was packed when we started.
While things were a bit disorganized, everything went off
fine. I had planned a couple of things to say, though I let things flow from
the heart. Of particular note was when I got choked up talking about the
strong support I had received from Haydee and her family. Since moving to Venezuela in 1992, her family has been my family. They have provided me with tremendous
support and have been with us through thick and thin. I am tremendously
grateful to have them in my life. While there are always situations in any
family which can be uncomfortable, the positive aspects of my relationship with
them far outweigh the negative.
While my expectation regarding distribution of Un Don
Especial in Venezuela hasn’t been as timely or widespread as I would like,
I am very fortunate for all the support Jupiter Editores has given. They
showed confidence in my idea and were willing to take the financial risk where
others were not. Little by little my book is becoming more visible in the
bookstores. The first time I saw my book in a store, after checking many
times, was a proud moment indeed!
The other thing which provides a great deal of
satisfaction is the comments I receive from people who read my book. While I
have come to realize not everyone is going to like the style or type of book I
have written, I have had a tremendous number of positive comments. Many have
mentioned the book has provided them with something to talk about with their
kids and their spouses. In this day and age, when families are many times
divided by the very technology which is meant to bring people closer, I am
happy to know my words have brought some families closer.
As my book launched in Spanish in Venezuela, I began thinking about doing something similar for A Special Gift in the United States. Together with my mom and Ito, who have supported me tremendously throughout
the entire process as editors and advisors, we set up a launch of my book in Albuquerque on April 7. We were able to coincide the date with a local book fair at Page
One. It provided a great venue with little out of pocket expense. While our
marketing efforts were limited primarily to contacting people we knew, we had a
great turnout.
One of the big surprises for the Albuquerque launch was a
great number of students who came as a result of a book we gave to one of Ito’s
Spanish teachers. She read the book, liked it and suggested her students buy
it in Spanish. Since we had already baptized Un Don Especial in Venezuela, we thought it only fair to baptize its twin brother A Special Gift in the USA. Both books were baptized with rose petals in a ceremony similar to the one in Venezuela.
I chose my cousin Stuart as godfather for A Special
Gift. He provided great support with his drawings which I believe bring
the story to life. In addition, I invited my cousin Pat Callahan who provided
two excellent drawings on short notice. All three of us signed books as people
streamed in. It was a lot of fun and I was thrilled both Stuart and Pat
attended to sign books.
During my trip to the states I also made several visits
to book stores, libraries, and the Albuquerque Academy as well as the Indian
and Hispanic Cultural Centers. My mom did an excellent job arranging our
meetings and we met with great success. While the exact nature of promoting a
book is probably best left to a publicist, I believe we have made strong
inroads on several fronts.
As the first half of my life comes to a close, there are
several thoughts and ideas which come to mind, the first of which involves my
faithful friends, Sneaky and Rascal. As the saying goes, “A dog is a man’s
best friend.” In my case, I’m happy to say I have two best friends! I have
learned to value and cherish my relationship with my dogs. Their love is
unconditional and I believe all who have pets realize their therapeutic value.
I always figured I might one day have a son, and now I have him though admittedly
I thought he would walk on two legs rather than four! While I frequently joke
he was born without a brain because he doesn’t always behave as I would like, I
love him anyway and there is always hope!
Life is indeed a series of ups and downs. While my
mission in life is teaching people to Bounce Back from life’s most difficult
circumstances, I also experience these ever changing cycles. I don’t believe
it is possible to feel up and motivated 100% of the time. In order to
experience the “thrill of success,” it is necessary to also go through “the
agony of defeat.” While those who are not willing to risk failure from time to
time will perhaps avoid the pain of crashing and burning, in my opinion nor
will they experience the exhilaration life provides when we spread our wings
and take a leap of faith.
While I have never considered myself to be a religious
person, I do believe there is something or someone responsible for our being.
Life is too incredible, too perfect to be an accident. Some people call this
force God; others refer to it in a myriad of different ways. Regardless of the
name we use to describe our beliefs, I am convinced faith is the most powerful
force we possess. Even love, which drives us forth and leads us down a
luxurious lane of pleasure and passion, is only possible when we have faith in
something or someone. This faith can be in God, in those we love or even in
ourselves. Wherever it comes from, we need to believe in something, a belief
in a force greater than ourselves which drives us forward and gives us hope for
a better tomorrow. When we lose faith, we lose life.
Recently “The Secret” has been making the rounds on the
motivational highway of life. Visualizing, thinking and believing we can
achieve more than we have at this moment are powerful forces. At the same
time, there is much more to achieve happiness and success. Ours truly is a
road, not a destination. The path is riddled with challenge and heartbreak.
What lays beyond the next bend no one knows and, perhaps we are better off not
knowing what happens beyond this moment. While there is a plethora of thoughts
and theories which promise the Holy Grail and an eternity of being, the truth
of the matter is no one really knows, as a fact, what lies beyond.
I believe this is the way it should be. While I
sincerely hope there is something which awaits us as this reality we call life
comes to a close, I plan to live this life to the fullest, soaking in each
moment and grabbing each instant as if it were my last. I would love to say I
always act in the best manner and say just the right thing at just the right
time. The truth of the matter is I don’t. I make mistakes and stick my foot
in my mouth from time to time.
I once believed perfection was a worthy ideal. I no
longer believe perfection is either possible or desirable. Part of what makes
life so interesting is the diversity of the human race this funny looking two
legged animal which runs around thinking, imagining and wondering what trouble
it can get into next.
As a race we have certainly gained a degree of
sophistication out of proportion with regards to any other living being. I
often wonder why it is I was born a human being rather than a dog, cat or any
other animal. Why am I in present form rather than a tree or a plant? In
essence, all living beings have one function, to live and reproduce. Yet we
have taken this basic function and created a life of luxury.
We are so incredibly fortunate to possess a level of
comfort and convenience unparalleled with any other living being. We can move
about and communicate with anyone in the world in an instant. Regardless of
time zones or distance we can pick up a phone and speak with anyone, at any
time in the space of a few seconds. Yet with all the convenience and all the
technology, there is a loneliness and distance which is still felt by so many
individuals. Never before have we been so technologically competent and so ill
prepared emotionally to deal with the challenges life presents on a daily
basis.
I feel fortunate to live in this world, at this time and
in my present form. I feel grateful to have been born in a land of opportunity
and to have been given the tools to create my life as I have. I am thankful
for every breath I take and every move I make. I have a wonderful family who
loves me, supports me and puts up with my crazy ideas and often childish off
the wall behavior. This is truly an incredible journey and mine is to enjoy the
ride as long as it lasts.
My desire is to live to be at least 88 years of age healthy,
wealthy and wise. Right here, right now I am half way there. If the time
should come before I reach 88 when I cannot take care of myself or my body
says, “This is the last stop buddy!” I will go willingly and, with any luck,
peacefully if it’s meant to be. There is so much uncertainty and so many
things which can happen from here to there. As for me, I am happy for what I
have right here right now. If another day doesn’t come my way, I can say, “I
have lived my life my way!”
So each evening as I say farewell to another day, I look
at my good friends, Sneaky and Rascal, feeling fortunate to have been here on
earth in my present form for another day and well on my way. It’s been a
tremendous ride so far with 44 in a Row and I now have 44 to Go…
