Category: English

Like a broken bone leaving its mark, there are events we experience which can change us forever. They can break us into tiny pieces or make us or make us better when put back together again.

The break can come as a result of a long-standing relationship, which abruptly comes to an end; or perhaps from losing a job we thought was stable but turned sour in the end. Maybe a moment of inattention caused an accident resulting in a broken bone; or it might be that we are in wrong place at the wrong time, for someone else’s imprudent acts. Social or political situations can cause us to emigrate to other parts of the world; and other situations can cause us to feel like foreigners right where we are.

Time and time again, history tells us that most important isn’t what happens to us, rather how we react to it. Depending on the severity of the fracture we experience, sometimes a little rest is all we need to recover. At other times, more time and energy are required to get back on track again. Ultimately how we heal depends on many different factors, some internal and others external.

External factors are difficult to control, and in many cases, there is little to no chance of changing them. Internal factors are an entirely different situation. How we perceive what is happening is paramount to its resolution. We can play the role of the victim, blaming everyone and everything for out troubles; or we can play the role of the hero, taking responsibility for our thoughts and actions.

Which role do you choose to play?

∞ Rob McBride ∞
3 July 2023

Recently, I was asked to share my thoughts and ideas with a Rotary Club. As part of the request, they asked for me to provide them with a recent photo, my title, and a brief biography. While the photo and the biography are a piece of cake to put together, the question about my current “Title” threw me off guard and got me to thinking about the question:

What’s in a title?

From the time we are born, we are assigned different roles and titles. Here are some I have held over the years, roughly in chronological order:

While most, if not all, of these titles and roles explain what I have done or my relationship to others, I don’t believe any of them describe me as a person or who I really am. It occurs to me that titles can be thrown around fairly easily. Sometimes they are given with a raise, while at others they are given instead of one. Many titles are designed to impress others, despite those who have them not actually having done anything to earn or deserve them. Other titles are given at birth without any particular merit or work to achieve them.

One title which is in vogue is that of Coach, and many have referred to me as such over the years. Though I don’t typically correct people when they call me a Coach, since I do like to help people reach their objectives, I’ve never really considered myself as one. Many people have studied long and hard to become certified coaches, something I have not done nor am I particularly interested in doing at this time. With so many excellent “Life Coaches” running around, it doesn’t seem to me like the world needs another one.

For the last several years I have referred to myself as a Writer, since lately I haven’t actively pursued my speaking career. Nevertheless, this title doesn’t really seem to accurately reflect who I currently am, my interests, or what I do. As to the request I received about my current title, I decided to resist the temptation of simply giving my standard response of being a Writer, and instead decided to dig a little further to see if I could come up with something which defines who I really am as a person, and not just what I do, or my relationship to others.

I am a big fan of the questions beginning with the words: who, what, where, when, why, and how. When framed properly, these questions can help us to get to the bottom of most things we need to figure out, if we really take the time to answer them honestly, and not just go through the motions of doing so to try and impress others. So, I started with the question:

Who am I?

In my quest, my cousin Stuart, told me of an exercise he used to give his new recruits when he worked as a Navy Recruiter. He would ask them to come up with one word which best described themselves. Much can be discovered about a person, he explained, not only with the word they choose, but more importantly with the explanation of why they chose it. As I pondered and considered the question, this is the one word I came up to describe myself:

Light

I even composed a very simple song with the same title. I am convinced that my mission here on Earth and in life has to do with providing light and guidance to those who need or seek it. After believing for several years that everyone could benefit from what I have to say, I am now convinced that not everyone needs or wants to hear what I have to say; but fortunately for me, some do. When there is already light present and things are clear, no additional illumination is generally needed, but when things are dark and it’s difficult to see anything, a little light can go a long way.

Nevertheless, it seems a bit odd to respond to the question, “What are you?”, by saying, “I am light.” As such, I have expanded a bit on the definition of who I am and what I do as follows:

I provide peace, love, and hope giving light to those who need or want it. Perhaps on my next business card I can simply state my title as: Light Guy.

What about you?

Does your title accurately reflect who you are, or simply reflect what you do?

If you could describe yourself with one word, what would it be?

How would you describe who you are and what you do?

∞ Rob McBride ∞
9 Oct 2022