Category: Lunar Letter (English)

We tend to focus on objectives, like buying a car or getting a promotion.  The journey toward any objective requires completing certain tasks.  Not all are pleasurable and some are downright objectionable, but they are necessary to get where we want to go.  We can see each thing we need to do as an obstacle to be overcome or as a bridge to take us to the other side.

Saving money for a car doesn’t tend to be easy.  While our friends go out partying, instead we stay home to save money.  To get a promotion, we may need to work extra hours or perhaps even weekends.  Some people do not have the discipline required to save money to buy a car or work hard to get a promotion.  Others do have the discipline but curse everything they need to do to achieve it.  Fortunately there is a third group who are willing to do what needs to be done, and enjoy the process.

Reaching the goal line is a great achievement; enjoying the journey a wonderful gift.

Let’s look at another example.  Planning a wedding and doing everything possible so each little detail is perfect on your special day can be stressful and agonizing.  A suitable venue must be chosen, music contracted, flowers chosen, the court prepared, the interminable guest list made, assistance confirmed, mementos selected, beverages purchased, budgets managed; and finally, carefully picking a dress and having the cake decorated.  These things and so many more which need to be done for such a glorious event can take us to our limits in terms of stress.  On the other hand, we can look at it as a tremendous opportunity to share and interact with many people involved the beginning of a new stage of life.

Have you ever noticed that every day we have the opportunity to choose the quantity and quality of our interactions with others?

While we are all different, and some jobs require more contact with people than others, our mood is affected by our interactions with other human beings.  If we treat others we come across as if they were rocks in our road, they will likely perceive our energy and react negatively.  On the contrary, if we smile, look them in the eye and ask for what we need with love and sympathy, they typically respond with good cheer along the way.

It is common for two people to work in the same company, with similar responsibilities and pay, and yet have completely different outlooks on life.  One is discontent with everything that happens and the other content with all that occurs, taking all as an opportunity to build and be better

Ideal “jobs” do NOT make people exceptional; rather ideal “people” make jobs extraordinary.  In the end, happiness does not depend on what we do, but how we do it.  Life is a wonderful journey leading to the same ultimate destiny.  Enjoying each step in the process makes us infinitely happier day after day along the way.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 47

Though we all have a seed of happiness inside, many of us forget to nourish it and cultivate it along the way.  We have been educated to believe happiness comes from having a stable economic situation, a good salary, a nice house in a particular area and so many other things.  While these things can certainly distract us, and allow us to live more comfortably, happiness is not something which can be bought or sold at the corner store, neither does it come by living in a specific place.  It isn’t possible to “find” happiness, much less chase after it.

“There is no happiness in having or in getting, only in giving..”  – Og Mandino.

We are tamed and trained by society, and a constant avalanche of marketing, to believe if we don’t have the latest, greatest telephone; a particular brand of clothes, or any other possession, that we can’t be happy.  The billboards scattered along the highway of life show attractive, beautiful models with great big smiles.  The message is if we dress, eat and drink as they do, we will be happy.

The question is:

Do we really need a particular brand of clothes, food or drink to be happy?

Of course, the answer is a resounding NO!

While the economy depends on the purchase and sale of many different items, and it is important for companies to sell their products, what are the subliminal messages permeating our minds?

It’s vital we as a society evaluate the effect of these messages over the long-term.

Having money is good and desirable, not dirty and deplorable.  Money and its equivalents allow us to buy things both useful and necessary; clothes which protect us, food which nourishes us, and too those things which are unnecessary but pleasurable also pleasurable.  While these things are nice to have, we do NOT need them to be happy.

There are people in the world who are very happy even though they have never used brand name clothes, eaten an exquisite meal or tried a particular brand of soft drink.  Yet many are convinced they cannot be happy if the lack certain items.

What if we were left on a deserted, distant isle?

Would we survive?

How would our paradigm change in terms of what is we need to be happy?

For many years, life on the planet went along swimmingly with no televisions, computers or telephones, all of which have been introduced in the last century.
Nevertheless, these days we find some who believe having a “stupid” phone, which only receives and makes calls, is a cause for being unhappy.

We have become a “disposable” society where things and people, instead of being fixed, are abandoned and cast aside..  The great irony is that many look for happiness by trying to achieve, buy, and do more where frequently they generate more stress than happiness.

In this world, where unhappiness for not having certain things abounds, the only thing we need to do to be happy is to increase the quality and quantity of what we give.  As long as we focus on bettering the lot of others by giving them our friendship, our time and a good example; we can experience happiness from the top of our head to the tips of our toes.  When we give our very best effort, we receive the greatest gift of all, which comes from having given.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 46

In the short time I have had the privilege of wandering the hallways of life; I have discovered it isn’t the place, but the person which is most important.  What I mean to say is, we tend to believe it is the “place or circumstance” which brings happiness; but I have discovered it isn’t where we happen to be, but the “person” we are which causes us to be happy or sad.

I have met people who:

• occupy the highest positions of organizations, make tons of money, and live in the most spectacular places in the world who are prisoners of their own rigidity.
• live in the most humble of circumstance who vibrate with gratitude for each of life’s gifts they have been given.
• earn a lot of money, do a worthy job and live in marvelous places who are able to balance everything and be very happy.
• subsist by the grace of God in the worst of circumstance who awake every morning and curse each day of their existence.

Money cannot buy happiness but it can delightfully distract us in the process.  Nevertheless, I insist, it is not the place or the money, but the person who is most important in finding happiness.

I live in a country where one of the most common questions people ask is, “When are you going to leave the country and where are you going?”  While I don’t blame those who want to leave for better opportunities, more personal security, or for any other reason; it is important to realize we will continue to be the same person wherever we go.  While we can leave a place which does not suit us, we cannot hide from our own internal struggles which hold us back.

“Life is a looking glass and gives back to me the reflection of my own soul.”  – Og Mandino

It’s easy to run and hide from society, from our friends and even from our own family; more difficult is to hide from ourselves.  The victory tends to go to those who take the road less traveled, those who face challenge and overcome difficult circumstance forge themselves into the leaders of today and tomorrow.

For some, the definition of success includes working a lifetime, moving up the corporate ladder in a constant struggle to make more money, taking on more responsibility, living in bigger houses, and driving more luxurious automobiles.  Lives are spent working and contributing to savings plans to retire at 65 to begin enjoying life, good health permitting.

For others, the emphasis is on enjoying each moment and each instant in the journey of life.  They fight valiantly and give themselves to a worthy cause.  In many societies, there are no retirement accounts or social programs to take care of the elderly.  Instead, children take care of their parents when age prohibits the parents from taking care of themselves, and the cycle of life comes full circle.  Different strokes for different folks.

We tend to see the world in black and white, losing sight of so many different shades of gray.  We can live well anywhere we are.  We can release the chains of limiting belief which imprison us into thinking money or a specific place to live will make us happy.  As an alternative, we can simply be happy as we are and where we are.

One of my favorite definitions of success is as follows:

Success is doing what you want, where you want, with who you want and when you want to do it.

Success isn’t determined by an amount of money, material possessions, or a particular position in life; rather by who we are and what we represent.  We can be the change we want to see in the world by doing what inspires us to fly with the eagles rather than being bound in so many shackles.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 45

In our constant struggle for a better tomorrow, we frequently focus on looking for the best answers, when in reality it is the questions we ask which are most important.

Why, What, Who, Where, How, Which, and When are the only words we need to direct us to what we most desire.

Let’s look at a few examples to see how we can best use these questions:

WHY are you in this world?

WHAT is it you most want to do?

WHO can help you to achieve it?

WHERE can you find what you want?

HOW will you overcome difficulty?

WHICH are your alternatives?

WHEN will you start?

Yogi Berra says, “If we don’t know where we are going, we will end up someplace else.”  So as not to get “someplace else,” we need to be clear on where we are headed.  When we ask better questions, we get better results.

Let’s look at another example related to customer service:

WHY should you give better customer service?

WHAT can you do to give better customer service?

WHO do you know who give the service you would like to give?

WHERE can you learn how to give optimum customer service?

HOW will you give better customer service?

WHAT will your strategy be?

WHEN will you start?

For our personal and professional lives, we can get better answers with better questions.  When we begin thinking we know it all, it is the beginning of the end.

How are your interpersonal relations?

Like it or not, our lives are made up of relationships with other people.  Let’s suppose you have a small problem with someone as a result of a misunderstanding, one of those which are common in our daily lives.  Let’s cast our magic words upon the situation to see if we can conjure up a solution.

WHY are you bothered?

WHAT caused the the misunderstanding?

WHO can help you resolve the situation?

WHERE can you find the answer?

HOW will you resolve it?

WHICH action will you take?

When will you start?

As you can see, I have closed each of the sequences with the same question.  After having answered the most important questions in our lives and having a clearer vision of our direction, we need to get up and go to make it happen.  Dreams are woven in thought and crystallized in action.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 44

Life is a journey made up of each of the steps we take.  Each stretch has its time and each space has its moment.  As human beings, it is common to want to free ourselves from the stones and the obstacles which litter our path.  Nevertheless, not having these troubles can lead to a stale existence lacking essence.

On our journey, there will be times when we go through gardens filled with magnificent colors and wonderful smells; others will take us into pitch black darkness erasing any existence of dignity.  When we are in the middle of a deep dark tunnel, we look for a light which will show us the way to escape the toxicity of our own thoughts enabling us to face another day.

Even in the light of day, it is possible to be surrounded by gloom where dismal thoughts torment our being and extinguish our own inner light.  When we are in the midst of a shadowy darkness, we seek the answer to the question which hangs constantly in the air:

What can we do?

Do the following exercise:

Think of an event in your past which tormented at the time but is now somehow resolved.  Let go of today and all it implies with your current worries and preoccupations, and fly away to that other place in time when perhaps you felt the best solution might be to end it all and leave this world with a one-way ticket out.

Have you ever felt this way?

It is something most of us have felt at some time or another.  The truth of the matter is that he who has not felt the profound desolation of desperation will find it almost impossible to appreciate the serenity of tranquility.

Continuing with the exercise, relive the experience and recall what you felt at the time.  Now consider the following:

If everything turned out satisfactorily, you were able to see the light which you longed for at the end of the tunnel.  If not, and even if it wasn’t the result you wanted, you still found a different light at the end of the road.  Perhaps it was not the light you wanted or expected and quite possibly you found a different light leading you to another tunnel and taking you in a different direction.

On our journey, we find light which opens doors to marvelous places with bright brilliant colors, and also other roads which are dark and dangerous.  The variety and color of lights which guide us is infinite.  On us it depends if we will follow a light leading us to understanding and happiness, or if we will follow a mere reflection taking us hopelessly toward a life fraught with tension and strife.

In either case, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, even when it isn’t the one we imagined.  One such light can be seen each morning on the eastern horizon as the light which has remained constant since our very first day of existence makes its daily appearance on its non-stop trek.  It is a privilege to be able to appreciate the bright light of the sun which rises daily giving us the energy we need to escape from the deepest and darkest of tunnels and arrive at a destiny filled with beauty and splendor.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 43

With love, life is much better. In our constant struggle to achieve more and get farther, we often forget life does not need to be so difficult, and on the contrary, can be quite easy. There is a key we can all use to open the door to what we most desire.
The key is love because with it, we can face fears and erase hate. When we begin to wrap everything we do in love, life begins to fit like a well-worn glove.

“I will live this day as if it were Christmas. I will be a giver of gifts and deliver to my enemies the gift of forgiveness; my opponents, tolerance; my friends, a smile; my children, a good example, and every gift will be wrapped with unconditional love.”

~ Og Mandino

So much wisdom in so few words; we reap what we sow and when we sow love in the hearts of others, they become our brothers and sisters. We frequently think of love as being something we share with our lover, family or friends. Nevertheless, there are many many kinds of love we can share in so many simple subtle ways, such as perpetuating random acts of kindness, as well as being generous and selfless in our dealings with others.

Let’s look at a practical example:

Two friends who have known each other their entire lives decide to study the same career. By chance, or more likely by circumstance, they begin working for the same organization, in the same position and with the same salary. After many years, one becomes more confident in his abilities and more apt in his capabilities, ultimately rising to lead the organization. His friend stays stuck in the mud; bitter and rebellious, stubbornly remaining in a similar position to when they first started.

What is the difference between the two?

Of course, and as we have all learned, the attitude of each is fundamental in their professional and personal development, but there is likely an additional ingredient which has created such a wide difference in the lives of our two heroes. Likely, the one who rose to the top did things willingly and with love, while the other did things which were obligatory and a part of his job.

What can we do to be more effective?

To achieve what others believe is some strange kind of mystery, we can add a healthy dose of love to all we do:

• When something needs cleaning, how about cleaning it? We can do so not because it is part of our job description, but rather as a pure act of good intention.
• When we see someone who needs help with something, how about helping them? Doing something for someone with no anticipation of remuneration takes us to a higher station.
• When we have a client who isn’t satisfied for whatever reason, how about finding a solution? So often these days all we ever receive is negativity and mass confusion.

Love is all powerful, and with it our relationships with clients, colleagues, neighbors and family are enhanced with each drop of love we distill. When we begin to listen to others with love in our heart, and wrap our feelings and actions in love, we find the magic of life’s opportunity opens before us to lead us to our own private eternity.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 42

*  I dedicate this Lunar Letter to my beautiful daughter Chantalle and to her new husband Mario… I wish you both a lifetime of love…

Hello!

Thanks for joining me…

I have an important message for you.

“Are you talking to me?” you may ask.

Yes, I confirm to you, it is with you I want to talk.

For many years, I have written for many reasons. I have written to make money and to try to gain fame; I have written many times for pleasure and others when I was under quite a lot of pressure. But now, in this instant when you and I are closely connected by this means through time and distance, I realize these words have a much more important reason, and that reason is…

Y O U

“Me?” you ask again.

And once again I respond, of course, it’s with you whom I am talking!

This is not for your neighbor or someone around the corner. These words you see here upon this page are for you because:

It is with you I want to speak!

I now know at the other end of each message I share, there is something much more important than money or fame, and the special “something” is you. If it were not for you reading me, what I do would not be nearly as important.

If you have gotten to this point in this message, you surely realize this message is, in fact, for you. Since you are still with me, I have a challenge for you, which while it won’t be easy, if you decide to undertake it, will change your life for the better, and forever.

“Forever?” you may ask. “It sounds expensive!”To your query, I respond, yes it can be for forever, and as for the cost, the investment I suggest, for what I propose, is perhaps the most valuable of all, because your investment will be in time and not in money. You see, I will not ask you for a single bolivar, dollar, or euro for my plan. If you agree to take my challenge, you only need let me know, and by this same means, I will give you the key to continue with the next step in the road of what I propose.

Are you prepared to invest your most valuable asset in yourself?

Perhaps you are reading me for the first time, or maybe you have always read me. It’s also possible you once read me, and are just now coming back to me. Whatever might be your case, I confess, I am so happy to have you here with me.

If you are up to my challenge, I will share something which you will always remember and which can make a profound positive difference in your life. While what I have in mind will not eliminate your inconvenience or your trouble, it will give you a much better way to deal with life’s happenstance, and in the process, help you deal with any circumstance…

 

So, what do you say?

Are you with me?

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 41

Time either rounds off the rough edges or makes them sharper…

A new born is like a block of clay when it comes into the world. Some are big, others are small; some are dark, others are light; some are more delicate, others more durable.  The environment, along with their parents, friends and teachers begin the important job of sculpting it, and in time, converting it into a work of art.

At first, the clay is soft and malleable.  After, it is molded and then exposed to the environment which hardens it and determines its shape.  In the same way, our morals, character and principles are formed as a result of what we have lived, giving way to our own work of art.

Each thing which happens in the minutes, hours and days of our lives are chisel marks which give form to our sculpture.  Depending on the attitude we assume with each situation, we will round off the rough edges or make them sharper.

Let’s take the example of two brothers.  Both are raised in the same place, with the same parents and under the same circumstances.  By nature each is different and has his own character.  While their experiences of life may be very similar, each forms his own work of art depending on his perspective.

One of them confronts challenge with gusto, while the other stays sleeping when faced with difficulty.  One looks for an opportunity in each situation, while the other finds a problem in each opportunity.  One receives advice with gratitude, while the other instead gets mad.  One rises and rallies, while the other stays down and frowns.

What is the difference between these two people?

The difference isn’t economic, nor is it sociological.  For some people difficulty serves to round off the rough edges, while for others it just makes them worse.  This is the reason why we find some older people who are like precious gems, well polished by the challenges of life.  Though things may bother them, they don’t let it take away their inner peace.  Nevertheless, there are other people the same age, with similar problems who appear to be sharp edged stones which will cut or scratch us if we dare come too close.

Life is full of circumstances, which in the end, are very similar for all of us.  We will experiment the ecstasy of victory, and too, the agony of defeat.  We will feel the sweet sensation of being in love and too the bitter feeling of deception.  Nevertheless, our work of art will depend on how we take each of these circumstances.  We can let adversity flow softly over our soul rounding off the rough edges or reject it with rage and make them sharper.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 40