Category: Lunar Letter (English)

Everything has a beginning and everything has an end…

Even though we know this to be true, our world is turned upside down when a loved one passes on and is no longer around.

Why lament the only thing in life which is certain for all?

Why cry for something which is after all, so natural?

We are accustomed to hearing:

“All will be fine.”

“It was his time.”

“Tomorrow is another day.”

“Surely somehow you will find a way.”

Nevertheless, these words of comfort frequently fall short when we have lost someone so special.

What can wake us from what seems to be such a terrible nightmare?

The intentions of those who love and care about us are noble and their words are generally sincere. Notwithstanding, filling the void which we feel inside when we lose someone is not easy.

The religions of the world promise that if we live in a certain manner, we will go to heaven, create good karma, awaken our soul, and perhaps even be reincarnated.

Can this be so?

Does this await us?

I sure hope so!

Yet without doubt, reincarnation is a fact, though not perhaps in the traditional sense of the word. The only thing we need do is close our eyes and in an instant we can bring anybody we have known and lost into our mind. Their manner of speaking, their special smile and even the way they moved. We can bring anyone back in a heartbeat.

Might this be reincarnation?

We lose so much time and often stop living for fear of dying. If we stop and think about it, an important part of life should include sharing and contributing to the well-being of others. The more we positively influence others, the greater our impact on the world.

What can we do when we need support from a loved one who is passed?

Most often we already have the answer. We know what their values and opinions would be. They have been woven into us in many cases from an early age. We can loathe and lament that a loved one has passed or simply know they are constantly there with their advice when we need them.

Though they may not be with us physically to give us support when we need it, each conversation we have had with them and each sweet sensation they have given continues to be an integral part of our being. Their smile, their warmth and their opinions live forever within us.

In life to receive we must first give. It is a universal standard. When we invest our time giving and being useful to others, we will certainly live again within them long after we are gone. Instead of living tentatively waiting for something good to happen, how about if we live all out, giving the best we have to others in every possible moment?

When we live large, we can assure we will live again in so many more people when we are no longer around. Life continues to flow with or without us. Though it isn’t easy to have a loved one go, it is possible to bring them back and hold them deep inside our heart and in our soul regardless of where we happen to go.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 15

While it may not always seem possible, you can be your own boss. In many cases someone else signs the check you cash to live on but you can be your own boss of your emotions and your perceptions.

The environment doesn’t create you; rather you are created within your environment. In the same situation you can see some people who are happy, healthy and wise, while others are sad, poor and dim-witted.

One of life’s great truths is that wherever you go in this wonderful world, you will always have your own company. There is no other option.

Wherever you go, there you are.

In any country, neighborhood or organization where you happen to be, you will always be with yourself. While you have colleagues, friends and family who accompany you, in the end, you are always with your own thoughts. Some people act as if they were their own boss, others as employees. I propose you can always be your own boss.

Suppose you are hired to deliver pizza. The job description isn’t long and is really quite simple. Nevertheless, there are many ways you can deliver pizza. Thinking like an employee, you grab the pizza, find the address, deliver the pizza, receive the money and return.

As your own boss, the end result is the same but the manner very different. As your own boss, you put napkins, eating utensils, Parmesan cheese and chili peppers in a separate bag. When you leave from the restaurant, you see a paper on the ground, bend down to pick it up and throw it in the trash. You make sure your vehicle is clean and in tip top condition. You do everything with courtesy and respect because you knows you represent the company and besides, you are your own boss.

When you get to the door, you arrive with a big smile and ask if they would like napkins, eating utensils, Parmesan cheese and chili peppers. You are cordial and expect a good tip. If you don’t get a tip, you thank them anyway because you know it might be different the next time and above all because you are your own boss.

While it may be a company which employs you, you are the one who makes your own way. The more proactive you are, the more opportunities you will have. If you must be brow beaten to do what is simply a part of your job description, you will eventually become expendable when there is economic turbulence. When you go beyond what is strictly necessary, you become an important ally in difficult circumstance.

When you are part of the solution instead of part of the problem, you are be your own boss. Those who start companies and organizations are not those who complain by saying, “What a shame we are living in such trying times,” rather they are those who say, “We have a challenging goal which when resolved will give us a positive boost!”

You can’t always love what you do but you can always give love to what you do. You see it everywhere. One person complies with the bare essentials while another goes above and beyond by adding a smile and sincere thanks. One person takes your money and throws the change on the counter shouting, “Next!” while another takes your money, places the change in your hand while looking at you and saying, “Thank you for your purchase, I hope to see you again soon!”

When you do an excellent job while giving optimum service, eventually you will have the opportunity to own your own business or to run your own organization. When you start by be your own boss today, you pave your own path, direct your own destiny and create your own happiness.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 14

 

The world we see depends on the lens we use. If our lens is dirty and unfocused, our world will be cloudy and uncertain. If our lens is clean and focused, our world will be beautiful and bright. It’s all a question of focus…

What can we do to get our lens of life looking right?

Juan Carlos Jimenez offers an interesting analogy in his book, Expand your Opportunities – Paradigms of Personal Motivation, which allows us to clean and focus our lens. He uses this phrase from Marcel Proust to set the stage:

“The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.”

Jimenez suggests we can “Predict the Future” when we dream about what we most desire and take positive action to achieve it. I confess I was somewhat skeptical when I first read his proposal, though I am now convinced he is right.

One theory of motivation talks about two different external motivators. The first is the “carrot” which is used as a prize or a reward for a job well done. The second is the “stick” which is used to chastise or punish a job done poorly. While both work as external motivators in the short-term, more important is to create long-term internal motivation. To increase internal motivation, Jimenez explains:

“… dreams are the source of your most important motivation because they are completely within your reach. They depend only on you. They are your own carrot, your interior carrot.”

The more specific and vivid our dream, the more our internal “carrot” grows and drives us toward our objectives. While I read this concept, it occurred to me carrots are rich in Vitamin A, which influences positively on our vision, and thus on our “lens of life.”

This clarity encourages us to see obstacles and problems in a different way. While they don’t magically disappear, improved focus helps us to see them with a different perception and perspective. Our internal motivation and experience begins to generate solutions instead of raising barriers. With enhanced vision we can “Predict the Future” with greater certainty. Inconveniences in life become no more than specs of dust temporarily hindering our vision, instead being easily cleaned with precise actions leading us toward our dream.

Predicting the future isn’t really so difficult; we do it all the time. It is a direct result of our actions and, while it isn’t an exact science, we can predict the future with surprising accuracy in many circumstances. If we greet someone with a smile, we have a higher probability they will smile back than if we greet them with a sneer. If we pick up the phone to call a possible client, they are more likely to buy what we offer than if we wait for them to call us.

Life is similar, people who achieve greatness have a lens focusing on solutions rather than problems; they have crystal clear dreams and objectives serving as an internal carrot allowing them to predict the future to great degree. They take actions congruent with obtaining their golden dream and they become the “lucky ones” who give direction to their destiny living the life they most desire.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 13

We all want the best the world has to offer; a loved one who we enjoy being with who spoils us, a job which challenges us giving us opportunities, a life full of happiness, devoid of sadness.

While life isn’t always beautiful and bountiful, we can give our best effort to take full advantage of every moment in this reality which we call life. While we all want “more and better,” we are not always willing to give more to get it.

Recently, I was contacted by a company which wants to establish a business relationship with me to offer my services as an author and a speaker. While I believe the opportunity is interesting, it seems to me they benefit much more in the relationship than I, so instead of giving my money to them, I will invest it in a different way. Nevertheless, their interest made me realize how much we all yearn to be “found.” As an author, I have dreamed of the day when someone comes to me and says…

“Where have you been all my life Rob? Thank goodness I found you!”

In our wait to be “found,” many of us can wait our entire life. The same way one waits for her “knight in shining armor” or another for his “dream job” to simply come by chance, many wait their entire lives to be “found.”

Is it realistic to think someone will “find” us, particularly if we do nothing to be “found”?

Is it logical to imagine we will find our ideal mate while we sit on the couch watching television?

Is it reasonable to believe our boss will notice we are worthy of more responsibility and higher pay if we do nothing to deserve it?

Obviously, in all three cases the answer is a big NO!

To be found we must first show up and stand out…

There is no other option. If we want to find the love of our life, we must be willing to go to the appropriate places to be found. If we don’t go to the dance, we can’t get out onto the dance floor. If we don’t give our best effort in our work, we will simply be one more in the mass of humanity which ebbs and flows through life.

It isn’t enough to merely “show up.” If we go to the dance and simply sit in the corner without interacting with anyone, we will go home alone. If we don’t “stand out” at work, we may get our weekly pay for a while but sooner or later, if we do nothing special, we will be expendable. That is why it is better to become part of the solution, rather than being part of the problem.

He who never dares to achieve anything, will never have anything…

If we don’t risk getting to know that special someone who seems so interesting to us, our possibilities of getting to know him or her, are slim and none. If we don’t risk giving our opinion and adding value where we work, we are like a piece of furniture which can be replaced at any time.

When our fear of failure is less then our will to win, we can go farther than we ever imagined possible. Life does not choose who will be happy, we are the only ones who can make it possible. When we show up and stand out, we are taken into account and can take advantage of all life has to offer.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 12

 

Life is like a puzzle…

From the time we are born, we begin to put together our own masterpiece. In the beginning, we are simply an assortment of pieces lacking meaning and direction. Our family, friends and environment begin to construct the limits and the borders.

Each circumstance becomes part of our puzzle and slowly it begins to take shape. The colors and textures are determined by the people and occurrences of each day. The end result changes depending on each piece placed into our puzzle. Those who are more important and present in our lives grow in size and become protagonists.

Some parts remain undone for a long time. Someone who came into our life at some time may remain distant and isolated in some part of the picture. In time they become part of the background or come to the forefront. As we pay attention to certain parts of our puzzle, these areas begin to play a more dominant role in our work of art.

Piece by piece we put together our puzzle. We begin with a blank canvas when we are born and the last piece is placed the day we part from this reality we call life to a reality yet unknown.

Thoughts and actions full of hostility and hatred bring colors which are dark and dismal.

Thoughts and actions full of kindness and consideration bring colors which are bright and brilliant.

We determine which people and activities will have a more important role in our work of art. These can be family, friends, colleagues, neighbors, work and play. All are part of our picture.

How would you like your work of art to be?

What colors and images would give it life?

Who would the main characters be?

The good news is we create our own work of art daily with our thoughts and actions.

Those who dominate our thought and attention don’t necessarily have to be with us physically to participate in our puzzle. Let’s look at an example…

Think of someone you love with all your heart but is not with you right now. Close your eyes and think of their smile, demeanor and laughter …

In a heartbeat our mind brings them to our reality. Their advice, love and presence are with us instantly. They also can become an important part of our work of art.

We create our own reality as we put together our puzzle. Let’s assemble it with the best possible pieces. Daily we can do our best to paint it with colors which are brilliant and bright. We can make certain the people and things which are most important to us become the elements which are most evident in our puzzle by giving them time, energy and dedication.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 11

 

How about a world where people are good to their word?

How about a world where people say what they will do, and then do what they say?

Is expecting people to keep their word really possible when this basic principle is violated so frequently?

As an example, we tend to tell others, “I’ll call you next week.”

And then never do it.

Our lack of action is not meant to be mean or harmful; rather, we do it for convenience. Instead of explaining what we really mean, we simply take the easy route and make promises we have no intention of keeping.

Let’s be clear and sincere. We don’t always want to talk to all of the people we know “next week,” nor is it possible. Perhaps we would like to call and talk to our friends and those whom we like, but not everyone. And so, to exit gracefully, we simply say, “I’ll give you a call.”

You might say: “This seems so insignificant,” but it is extremely significant!. When we deceive ourselves on the small things, it becomes much easier to ruin the big things.

If we really do not want to call or see a person, it is better to simply say nothing. And, as is often the case, if we need to say something, we can find a different way to explain how we feel. That way we don’t promise what we are not willing to do.

Life is made up of a series of agreements. If we are constantly breaking them, our possibilities in life will be seriously hindered. Besides, the best way to increase our self-esteem is by being good to our word. Each time we are good to our word, our self-confidence increases and as an added bonus, other people’s confidence in us increases as well.

• When we give our word to do something, let’s do it
• When we say we are going to go somewhere, let’s go
• When we promise we are going to call someone, let’s call

It is better to disappoint someone in the moment than to defraud them in the future.

There will always be obstacles which prohibit us from being good to our word 100% of the time. If we cannot comply, we need only apologize, offer an alternative and carry on. Let’s do away with lame excuses to defend ourselves. I have heard that friends don’t need excuses and others won’t believe them.  It seems to be true. Instead of offering an excuse, we can simply say:

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t able to do what I promised. How about if we meet for a cup of coffee tomorrow morning and talk about it?”

If the person accepts, great.

If not, that is ok too.

Those who are good to their word are actors in the game of life. When we make it a point to be good to our word and surround ourselves with others who are also good to their word, we truly can live in a world where people say what they do and then do what they say.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 10

Each day we wake and as if by some magical spell experience a variety of different moods. Sometimes we are animated and excited to conquer the world. Others we are lethargic and don’t want to do anything at all.

How can we awake animated and anxious to get up and go more frequently?

How can we start with a step ahead to make it a better day?

While the answer tends to be fairly simple, it isn’t so easy to implement. The solution can be found in the following:

WE ARE HAPPIEST WHEN WE ARE MOVING TOWARD A GOAL OR AN OBJECTIVE.

When we have a burning desire to achieve something, our mind starts to twist and turn to create a way to achieve want we want most.

What previously seems to be a barrier, becomes a bridge. What before seemed impossible, suddenly becomes a world of possibility. The more clear and concise our desire, the better off we are. While there are many ways to clarify and define our objectives, almost all require taking several steps.

Let’s look at an example. Suppose there is someone who wants to be a fireman. I’m not talking about a little kid running around with a hose who wants to play with water, rather someone who values the ideals of being a fireman. They are willing to risk their life for the good of others. To become a fireman, one doesn’t simply wake one day, grab a hose and start dousing fires. On the contrary, it is something which requires much training and effort, both physical and mental.

Our potential hero has two different options. He can play video-games depicting firemen and collect stories of valor or he can get into his dream to make it reality. He can determine what is necessary to become a fireman. What are the steps he needs to take? What kind of physical conditioning does he need?

With a concrete plan designed to achieve his goal, he can begin. Perhaps the first day consists in doing a push-up and a sit-up. While the requirements may be that he do hundreds of push-ups and sit-ups per day, we all have to start at the beginning. There is no other option. The knowledge comes concept by concept, word by word. It takes time and dedication to acquire the knowledge and physical conditioning necessary to be a fireman.

This all serves as a map for achieving his objective though by no means guarantees it will happen. Daily he will need the discipline to do what needs to be done. With no plan, his desire to be a fireman will likely be nothing more than a dream. With a precise plan, his desire will probably become reality.

Each night before sleeping, our hero can WRITE DOWN what he wants to achieve on a piece of paper. While it isn’t important when he writes his objective, it should be done before going to bed. This will allow is mind to start working magically as he sleeps to create a way to achieve each task. If he works to make money to pay for the different exams he has to take, likely he will need to modify his day to include studying and exercise time. Waking the next day, he has a plan, he has a direction.

Similarly, we can do the same for our dreams and objectives. It is not the same to “think” about what we need to do as to actually WRITE IT DOWN. While awaking with a “To Do List” isn’t always enough, it does give us a fresh start to get a step ahead. When we know where we are going and what we need to get there, with dare and with flair we tend to get there.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 9

 

Each of us is like a bubble. A breath of air gives us life and now we blow with the breeze of each day. Our bubble moves closer and then farther away from many other bubbles on our way. Our parents, relatives, neighbors, and classmates initially form part of our immediate surroundings, some we see frequently while others pass imperceptibly.

In time we find as we touch other bubbles, our direction also changes as we leave what is known and delve into the great unknown. Other bubbles we encounter come from other places in different spaces with different experiences. We are attracted to some by their external beauty and to others by their internal beauty. Others simply come and go without causing any sensation whatsoever.

In time we find we eventually lower our defenses allowing some to come and join us inside our bubble. Some caress, stroke, and embrace us. Others beat, batter, and bully us. Depending on our experience with others, we become silky and soft, to receive more caresses or tainted and tough, so others don’t molest us.

In time, we find while we don’t choose all of the other “bubbles” in our lives, some we do choose. Those we choose become partners in life. They become spouses and good friends. While we can’t please everyone who crosses our path, we move closer to those we like and move away from those we dislike.

In time we find while the appearance of other bubbles is what first attracts us, it is what they have inside which keeps us. As we approach certain bubbles, there is a special chemistry which seems like some kind of wizardry. They make our heart go pitter patter, only time will tell if they become part of our heart, or simply part of a false start.

In time we find some bubbles are bright and inviting, others dull and impeding. Each bubble has its own way, each bubble the result of so many different days. One thing is for sure, from the time we get up to the time we lay down, and even as we dream, though we may be lonely, we are never alone, as we are always within a magic bubble of our thoughts.

In time we find each bubble has its own outlook on life and each has the right to be as it wants to be and it isn’t necessary to make others see what we see. We each have our point of view, this is nothing new. Ours is simply to be and let be, while we be the best bubble we can be.

In time, we find each bubble marches to the beat of a different drum. Each has its own set of rules to abide by. Though in the end, we realize it is most important to abide by our own set of rules rather than to run and hide.

In time, we find as we work on our own interior, automatically our exterior becomes crystal clear. When we stop fighting and fleeing from others, we find we can accept and understand them, and in so doing, treat each other as a brother and a sister.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 8