Category: Lunar Letter (English)

We are born as the result of incredible series of events and begin breathing for a purpose which is difficult to comprehend. Our body is a magnificent machine which functions amazingly well with water, food and exercise. From the moment we begin this marvelous journey, there is only one absolute truth in life… One day we will pass to another place in a different time and space.

The way in which we pass is unknown and no one knows for sure if he or she will live for 8 minutes or 80 years. What is assured is our body will transform from its current shape and form. Yet the human body is extraordinary and can survive the incredible array of circumstances we face every day.

Think for a moment about all of the challenges you have faced in your life; economic difficulty, sickness, hunger, pain and the myriad of other situations and emotions. Regardless of how tough they were, you have survived to live and breathe for another day. This I can say because otherwise, you would not be here to read this today.

It’s easy to fall into the bottomless pit of anguish and desperation as we face life’s challenges. Our lives are full of circumstances which in time become the grains of sand which make our own beach of life. Some parts are soft and soothing while others are rough and ragged. As difficult as any situation may be in the moment, it normally is not a determining factor of how long we will live.

Think for a moment of a challenge you had previously and which has now been resolved in some way, shape or form. If you are normal, you may have pulled out your hair, imagined all the terrible consequences and become an emotional wreck. Then, as with everything in life, eventually the situation changed, though granted not always in the manner you would like.

What determines if we will survive does not generally depend on a specific problem, situation or challenge we face daily. Our life expectancy is determined by many factors, and while one is our emotional state of mind, this is a state which can be influenced positively with an optimistic and expectant attitude.

The time between birth and death consists of moments. Each of us determines if these will be magical or malignant. One option we can all choose when facing challenge is to quite simply say, “I will survive.”

Friedrich Nietzsche phrased it this way:

“What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.”

This doesn’t mean we have to like and enjoy everything that happens to us. On the contrary, there will be horrible things which happen. Knowing we will survive can give us faith and courage to carry on and create new solutions to silly circumstances.

Not everything in life is wonderful, beautiful and bright. Knowing circumstance bothers yet seldom kills, permits us to flow and find new remedies instead of resist and desist. We will survive everything in life except for one thing, and that day will come when it will come. In the meantime, to each problem, inconvenience and challenge in life, we can simply say:

I will survive.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 33

 

Habits are the oil in the engine of life.

How long has it been since you have changed the oil in your engine?

Car manufactures recommend people change their oil frequently. The more often we change the oil, the longer the engine will last. If we never change the oil, it is likely the engine will “die a premature death” as it becomes clogged with dirt and debris.

We can relate our lives to the engine. Habits and routines are the oil in our own engine of life. When we change our habits and routines, we extend the life of our own engines by producing new and exciting results. While any path will generally do in the journey of life, it is our habits and routines which empower our path.

As this year comes to a close, we think about what we would like to do differently for the following year. We go through a period of review and reflection. We think about the past year and what we have achieved while planning the coming year to make things better than before.

We can all think about how long it has been since we have changed our habits and routines. “If we keep doing the same thing, we will keep getting the same results.” In computer terms we call it, “Garbage in, garbage out.”

If we are currently getting the results we desire, there is no need for great change in what we are doing. Even if we are going down the right path, it makes sense to look in our rear view mirror every now and again to make sure we don’t get run over.

Most of us begin the year with great intentions. Our New Year’s Resolutions may include:

Losing weight

Stopping smoking

Doing more exercise

Making more money

Being more productive

Improving communications

While these are all worthy ideals, as daily routine sets in after the euphoria of the holidays, often our goals and objectives are set aside as we take care of more “important” things.

In order to realize any significant change in our lives we need to first “change our oil” and make sure we have the proper lubrication to ensure our engine is running as it should. To do this we can review what we do and how we do it on a daily basis. Many complain, “I just don’t have enough time!” Time is a limited resource. It is not always possible to get everything done though it is possible to do the things we concentrate on. What is missing is not “enough time” rather a lack of focus.

We also need to have a strong reason to change. Many of us take better care of our cars than we do of ourselves. Why would do we do this? The answer is simple, our automobiles represent a significant investment and we want to take care of our investment.

How much is our body worth?

Regardless of the value we place on our own body, in order to keep it in optimum condition, we must “change the oil” from time to time. Unfortunately, the catalyst for many of us to “change our oil” is a life threatening situation where we face dire consequences if we don’t change.

Habits can be empowering or they can be destructive. Starting right now we can choose empowering habits over destructive habits.

Imagine what we can achieve when our thoughts are congruent with our dreams and desires. The sky is the limit. The only limits are self imposed. Our health, our income and our well-being are in our hands.

How then can we change our habits to drive our direction and determine our destiny?

Life is not as it should be; it is as it is. No magic wand can take a lifetime of habits and change them overnight. We can start to “change our oil” more often to guarantee our own engine of life is running as it should.

Here are some questions we can ask ourselves:

“How is what I am about to do going to effect the oil in my engine?”

“Is the food I’m about to eat going to make my engine run better or worse?”

“Is the cigarette I am about to smoke going to make my engine last longer or shorter?”

“Instead of taking the elevator up two or three floors, how about if I take the stairs instead?”

“What if I do more for what I am paid for rather than doing the bare minimum to get by?

“What is the most valuable use of my time in this instant?”

“What can I do to listen more effectively and talk less?”

Dramatic changes in our lives are not the result of some secret formula which will magically solve all of our problems. Instead, it is the small things done on a consistent basis which make a tremendous difference over time. People are not overweight because they ate “one” chocolate bar. People are not out of shape because they took the elevator “one” time. Our habits and routines over a lifetime create our realities.

Our bodies are finely tuned machines which in most cases keep working despite abuse and negligence. As this year comes to an end and a new year lurks on the horizon, we have the power to take action today, change our oil and make sure our own engine of life runs smoothly and soundly into the days, months and years to come.

 

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 31

While I am a firm believer in living in the “Here and the now” there are situations when it is worthwhile to let our mind travel to other times. Our mind is a marvelous machine which allows us to soar to another space and time in an instant. We have a “library” of memories which can be accessed to create a myriad of emotions when convenient.

At one time or another we will all have to face difficult and unfortunate circumstances. Perhaps one of the most uncomfortable situations is dealing with the terminal illness of a loved one.

What do we say?

How can we help?

In this situation it is likely we already know what is coming and the prognosis. It is natural to ask:

How did all this start?

What did you feel?

What did you do?

These are common questions and although they may satisfy our curiosity, it isn’t a line of questioning which will necessarily lead to a positive or valuable dialogue for the patient.

What value is there in rehashing the sickness and circumstances which they are facing?

In most cases, there is absolutely no value! Another way to manage the situation is to stimulate the mind to soar to more joyous and happy times. For example, we can ask, “Do you remember when we took that trip to the beach during Spring Break when we were in the university?” This and any other question starting with the phrase, “Do you remember when…?” will take us to another space and time. Our mind will begin to remember those times when we shared magical moments.

“This is simply skirting the inevitable!” you may say. I don’t argue with the fact that living in the past is simply a way to forget about the present. My response is, “So what?”

Not everything in life is, “Cheery, jolly and bright.” There are times which are challenging and uncomfortable. During these inevitable moments in life, it is preferable to travel to another time which allows us to smile and remember the beautiful moments we have lived rather than dwelling on the inevitable.

When we have to face the death of a loved one we can take one of two paths. One is to enter into a deep philosophical conversation about what awaits and the other is to paint a picture of what once was. While everything has its moment and there is a time and place to face the inevitable, in other circumstances we can be of support and assistance by creating images of how wonderful their spectacular journey we call life has been instead of feeding the fire of anguish over what is sure to come.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 30

There comes a time when we need to say, “It’s Showtime!” We are all actors in life. William Shakespeare expressed it like this:

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts…”

As we head out into the world each day, we are like actors making our entrance onto the stage. While each of our roles are different, we are all on stage performing. Some of us are salesman, others are doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, or a myriad of other professions and occupations. While it is healthy and wise to be in harmony with what we feel and say, the “world” really doesn’t care how we feel. All that matters is our performance in the theater of life.

Let’s look at an example. When a patient goes in for surgery, he or she really doesn’t care if the surgeon had a fight with their spouse, has economic difficulties or has an upset stomach. What’s most important is for the surgeon to do their job well!. While the doctor’s performance will change depending on the circumstances, it’s critical to get off the emotional roller coaster of life and perform.

Regardless of what we do, we are all in a similar situation. While our closest friends and family can be of tremendous support when we are facing difficulties, the backdrop of our emotional challenges isn’t important to the rest of the world. Imagine the following situation. A client walks into a car dealership and asks the salesperson, “How are you doing?” Imagine the salesperson replying, “My teenager is about to get kicked out of school, they haven’t paid my commissions from last month, my landlord is asking for my house and I am depressed.” Would we really want such a detailed explanation?

While this is obviously an exaggeration, we frequently demonstrate these same sentiments without ever speaking. Our body language and attitude towards life explains the entire script. It is not necessary to ask someone, “How are you feeling?” Most of the time it’s apparent from their behavior and demeanor how they feel. In fact, for those we know best, we know in an instant how they feel.

Like most, I have learned a great deal from my parents. My mother, “The Beautiful Lady,” passed in peace on October 18th. As a result of her passing, I have thought a lot about all I have learned from her. While there have been so many different things, the most important is regardless of how we feel, we have to get up and say, “It’s Showtime!” With our best foot forward, it’s crucial we go out on stage with courage and confidence.

We are all actors in life. We will not always feel great and not everything in life is wonderful and beautiful. It’s not realistic to think we will always be energetic and motivated. Nevertheless, those who are able to shake themselves off and go out on stage with an excellent attitude are those who will achieve greatness. Let’s be superstars as we go out on stage in a constant effort to give our best performance in this wonderful theater we call life.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 29

 

While we all have the capacity to bounce back from life’s difficulties, sometimes we have a busted bounce due to circumstances beyond our control. Life is like a bouncing ball. Sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. What is most important is not where we happen to be in the cycle of the life, rather our ability to bounce back at least one more time.

Our capacity to bounce back is the result of our experience, preparation, perseverance and attitude. The more difficulty we have faced and overcome the easier it is to bounce back and continue on our merry way. Nevertheless, things happen which can burst our ability to bounce back.

Those who know me or have participated in one of my events know I use the example of a bouncing ball to illustrate and explain my ideas. Recently I found and purchased the “perfect” ball to use in my conferences. It was a traditional black and white soccer ball. I was happy with my new toy and excited to use it. The night before my next event I filled it up with air. Apparently, I filled it up with too much air and the following day I had a Busted Bounce.

My first reaction was to give it to my dogs, Sneaky and Rascal, so they could finish destroying it. I was disappointed I had wasted my money on a busted bounce. Before giving the ball to my kids, I took the air out of the ball and just before giving it to them had an idea. At one time or another we have all “burst” for some reason or another. During the most difficult of circumstances, it seems there are no solutions and no way out.

The bladder in the ball was intact though deformed. It came out of the ball when the surface broke due to excessive air. As I looked at the hole in the ball it occurred to me this is similar to what we experience when we have our own Busted Bounce. I punched smaller holes around the bigger hole and passed a small rope through the eyelets to mend the damage. I filled the ball with air and, as if it were magic, I recovered my bounce.

We encounter incidents similar to my experience with the ball when we are subject to particularly difficult challenges. First we “burst,” our beings deform in an explosion of emotion. A hole is left in our souls creating a vacuum making it virtually impossible to bounce back immediately. In time, and frequently with the help of our friends and family, we fix the “hole” in our lives created by the challenge. Notwithstanding, we still need “air” to inflate our “ball” to return once and for all from the bottom of a bounce.

It’s critical we take time to recover from a Busted Bounce. We can turn to each other for help to repair the space created by an emotional cataclysm. To get up and go from a busted bounce it’s fundamental to find and maintain an excellent positive attitude which gives us the energy we require to fill the vacuum created.

After repairing and inflating our ability to bounce back will never be the same. Though an emotional scar reminds us of what happened, we can use this experience to strengthen our resolve. We always have the ability to bounce back at least one more time from any difficulty because, It’s the Bounce that Counts!

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 28

In 1988, Bobby McFerrin took the phrase, “Don’t worry, be happy,” from Meher Baba and converted it into a song which hit the #1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

Is it possible to not worry and be happy?

It is possible and the proof is we have each been able to achieve this worthy ideal at some point in our lives. Establishing a pattern which permits us to be happy instead of worried can give rise to effective action which positively influences and determines our destiny.

Why do we worry?

While each situation is different, it tends to be the lack of something. We can express it in terms of “Not Having” a particular condition or feeling. If we are worried about a poor result on an exam, it’s because we “Don’t Have” the knowledge necessary. If we are worried about a bill which is due, it’s because we “Don’t Have” enough money. If we are worried about an interview we are about to have, it’s because we “Don’t Have” enough preparation. If we are worried about what happens when we pass from this reality which we call life to another reality which is yet unknown, it’s because we “Don’t Have” certainty of what is going happen.

How can we be happy?

While the possibilities are endless, it has to do with “Having” something. We are happy because we “Have” enough knowledge which allows us to shine on an exam. We are happy because we “Have” enough money to pay our bills. We are happy because we “Have” the preparation necessary for a positive result on an interview. We are happy because we “Have” our own faith about what will happen when we pass from this reality we call life.

It is possible to not worry and be happy when we focus on what we “Have” instead of what we “Don’t Have.” If we are worried about a poor result on an exam, we can focus on the brain we “Have” and the capacity we “Have” to increase our knowledge. If we are worried about a pending bill, we can focus on the mind we “Have” and creativity we “Have” to make money. If we are worried about an interview, we can focus on the experience we “Have” and the common sense we “Have” to better prepare ourselves for the encounter. If we are worried about death, we can focus on the faith we “Have” or in this instant which we “Have” or on the wonderful memories we “Have” or the children we “Have” or the positive relationships we “Have” or in the magic in each and every moment we can “Have” in an instant.

In a well-worn phrase which has become a proverb, “Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” These moments come from what we “Have” and not from what we “Don’t Have.” Don’t worry, be happy because we all can be thankful for the many things we “Have!”

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 27

 

Not everything in life is beautiful and bright. From time to time we can all use guiding lights. Challenges and disagreements come frequently and furiously. A map which helps us grow and build with each passing day is useful. Following are points of light which can be used as guiding lights. They are based on the premise that no one is “perfect” and the exceptional book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

BE KIND: In any situation we can obtain much more by being kind. Though we may be offended and hurt by what others do and say, we can always get better results by being kind rather than by being aggressive or critical. If we are to be kind to others, we should start by being kind to ourselves. When we make a mistake, let’s give ourselves permission to be “imperfect” and carry on without the mental anguish we create in our mind.

FLOW WITH EVERYTHING: When something happens to throw us off course, we can do the following. First, we can realize no one is “perfect” and, as such, people will say and do things we don’t like. This doesn’t make them “bad” people; it simply means they have a different perception of the world from our own and we shouldn’t take it personally. The second is to realize the world is not as we would like it to be, rather it simply is as it is. Instead of fighting against what happens in life, we can go with the flow in the same way a river runs its course regardless of obstacles.

CONFIRM PERCEPTIONS: Some our most serious disagreements arise as a result of misconceptions. “I thought you were going to come!” we can reprimand a friend who has not shown up for a meeting. A simple confirmation beforehand could have completely avoided the mishap. What we are thinking is not always what the other person is thinking and it is almost impossible to know what goes on in another’s mind with any degree of certainty. We can also confirm important facts. For example we may say, “I thought my money was insured!” The answer which comes back could be, “That’s what you get for thinking!” When we confirm perceptions and important facts, we open the doors to beneficial agreements and understanding.

GIVE OUR BEST EFFORT: When we give our best effort, we can sleep better knowing we have done all we can do. It’s important to know our best effort will vary depending on the day, our mood and our health. If for some reason we don’t give our best effort at any given time, we can go directly to the first point and be kind to ourselves without the mental battle which often takes place in our mind.

LEARN FROM EVERYTHING: Life consists of a myriad of experiences. Some are magical moments which take our breath away. Others are devastating defeats which make us want to retreat. We can learn from everything. While we learn much from what we like, we often learn more from what we don’t like, although it is quite possible we may learn more than for what we bargained. What we can do consistently is to learn from everything.

Life is made up of moments which are not good, bad, or ugly. Instead, they simply are what they are. We can live a life with less consternation, tribulation, more emotion and intention when we are kind, flow with everything, confirm perceptions, give our best effort and learn from everything.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 26

Imagine a life where you take action with energy

Imagine a life where you have confidence in yourself

Imagine a life where you are tenacious in all that you do

Imagine a life where you take initiative to achieve your dreams

Imagine a life where you tolerate those things you don’t like

Imagine a life where you are helpful to other people

Imagine a life where you have a burning desire

Imagine a life where you flow and grow with time

Imagine a life where you laugh at life instead of cry

Imagine a life where you adapt easily to change and challenge

Imagine a life where you make decisions based on your principles.

Imagine a life where you are curious to learn more about what you do

Imagine a life where you live with passion and determination

Imagine a life where you bounce back from adversity

Imagine a life where you implement and instigate

While it seems difficult to imagine a life where all of these elements form part of our reality, it is possible to achieve what we most desire.

“How is this possible?” you might ask.

It is difficult to be the “perfect” person who integrates each of these qualities which a “good” person “should” have. What is possible is to determine what we most desire and focus on this quality.

For example, if we determine the most important thing in our lives is love, we simply have to give lots of love. While not all will return our love, some will. If we determine what we most want in life is money, all we have to do is focus all of our time and energy in generating money. Eventually, we will do it. It’s possible other things may be lacking in our lives, though money will not be one of them.

We can live the life we dream and imagine. We simply need to be very clear about what we really want and not disperse our energy in so many different directions. When our desire is well defined, the next step is to breathe it into our inner soul and integrate it into everything we do. By doing this we can stop imagining and begin living.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 25