Category: Lunar Letter (English)

From our ranks, we have fallen soldiers. Some have gone without me even being aware, until sometime later, when in conversation, we hear about their absence.

“Did you hear about Chris?” I remember being asked, after the first from our class fell. I shook my head, not knowing what had happened.

“Oh, he’s no longer here!” came the answer straight and clear.

We all seem to want to know the circumstances, yet may fear the response; the why and the what for. Yet in the end, only one thing stands out, only one thing matters. They are no longer here to fight another day.

The game of life is much like a battle. From our first breath, we need to struggle to make sure the energy of life fills our lungs. From that point on life beats magically within us, as it does for all living things. In order to keep going, battles we must overcome.

Our first major challenge comes as we strive to live life outside of our mother’s womb. For any one of a number of reasons, this often doesn’t happen. Infant mortality depends in large part on where a woman lives when she has her baby. Many places around the world can’t handle complications routinely managed where more advanced medical care is available.

As we grow up, so too there are dangers. Yet we have all seen how babies bounce back. They are surprisingly resilient! They can take a licking and keep on ticking. In fact, until we teach them to cry, when they fall they often do not, unless of course it really hurts. Perhaps one of our biggest dangers as we grow is how to deal with rejection. Many cannot and do not, choosing instead to take their lives as a way out of their misery.

And so we go through life, her topsy turvy ways a part of the grand scheme of things. While some of us go sooner and others later, there is only one thing for certain, when it’s all said and done, even the last one standing will too succumb to life’s final stratagem, taking us from this reality we now know, to something which as yet remains unknown.

As for our class, around 80 of us that graduated in 1980, from the Albuquerque Academy. Of that group, the four who have fallen represent about 5% of our total number. Though small in percentage, these four people represent so much more to me. On the one hand, but for the grace of God, there go I; and on the other, each lives on in my soul in many different ways.

Of the four, perhaps the one I knew the least was Chris Mullins. What I did know about him, I liked quite a lot. He liked to party and he liked to have fun. When he left us, I was reminded that our time too here on Earth is limited, and no one lives forever.

Tim Anderson was the one of the four I knew the best. He and I were bosom buddies in high school. Our schedules were similar, and we had many of the same interests. We would walk over to the gym during football and baseball season to practice, and competed with each other against others on many playing fields. During the weekends, we normally went to the same parties and hung out in the same places. When we played baseball, he pitched and I caught. When we played football, he ran and I blocked. When we went out on double dates, however, each of us was on our own.

Then there was Mark Skotchdopole. He was in a separate reality and he continues to be one of the nicest people I have ever met. In my heart, he is one of my greatest heroes. During high school, we didn’t share the same sports or activities, but when we did hook up, we always had a good time. With Mark, I got to know him better later, when he was already sick, and getting sicker. I had the opportunity to talk with him and visit with him on several occasions before he died in 2012. His outlook on life and positive attitude, even in the face of death, stay with me to this day. While I’m sure he probably had some bad days, and likely too got down, I never saw it.

And now to their ranks, the first female from our group goes. What I can I say about CJ Gulley (Coffin)? While I’m sure each has their own opinion, this is my take. Many of the girls were surely intimidated by her beauty. Blond hair, blue eyes and a nice slim body were, no doubt, the envy of more than one. That she got the boys’ attention, probably pissed them off as well. Yet behind the façade, which everyone could see, was a woman who strove to be integral in thought, mind, and body. Eating right and exercising were a part of her daily routine, as was fighting for justice in her own way, working in social services and seeing how the monster works from the inside out.

This message cannot be complete without also mentioning Grant Bauer. Though he wasn’t in our class (though far outclassed many of us), he too was an integral part of experience. His memory also lives on in those of us fortunate enough to have known him.

40 years after we graduated, and almost exactly 15 years after many of us saw each other, we continue forward with the great majority still alive, and a good many of that number still kicking. It is eerie to think that 15 years ago to the day I was sitting down having a beer with the three classmates who have fallen since that time. Yet here I stand, along with the rest. We continue daily, still in the game, doing our best to make the right moves.

Surely, more and more of us will drop as time goes by, it’s inevitable. I say this not as an ominous omen, rather as a reality of life. While Chris, Tim, Mark, CJ, and Grant are no longer with us in body, they can continue to live on the hearts of those of us who knew them. Perhaps this is what a soul and eternity are all about… Regardless, they can each serve as a beacon of light to remind all of us:

Be life long or short, we should be grateful for each and every moment here on Earth.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
27 Sep 2020
LL V 5

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Some called him daddy, others husband, uncle, boss, co-worker, friend, godfather, or buddy.

For me, he was my Buddy Billy…

He was one of the first to greet me upon my arrival to Caracas
He was the one who was always there when I needed him
He was one of the few people who kept his word
He was one to always want to be on time

Now that my Buddy Billy is no longer in the same physical space as we are, it seems somehow he hasn’t actually left us, the fortunate who remain.

Fortunate to have known a person who, while not perfect, was a role model worthy of following in our own journey. For those of us who knew him, we would marvel with his wit to identify and express what was going on in a few words.

So many beautiful times with him and his family bring a smile to my face. Trips to the beach, to the mountains, and much more. Happy moments like birthdays, graduations, weddings, and too difficult times like death and other complications. My Buddy Billy was always there with just the right thing to say with a devilish look in his eye or an overall demeanor of complicity.

When he walked along the street, he greeted people kindly, respecting each regardless of his station in life. He talked to those of high rank and also to those of the lowest. If he had something to say, he would say it, and then let the other interpret the meaning as they pleased.

My Buddy Billy worked hard and earned the respect of those with whom he interacted, as much with his bosses as with those he was responsible for, which were at times many. He maintained order in chaos directing his team of workers much as the notable Dudamel directs a great orchestra.

My Buddy Billy looked nice and was very careful with his appearance, though he also know how to let his hair down when the situation was right to rest and relax, going from being formal to comfortable with ease. He felt at home just about anywhere.

He was astute and did business negotiations easily. While surely some didn’t go as he expected, usually it seems as if they did. Nevertheless, the constant weight of making ends meet in a situation which was constantly deteriorating was perhaps the beginning of his end.

I remember sharing many things with my Buddy Billy, among them:

Going by boat to the Keys in Morrocoy
Traveling through the Pampas of Argentina
Skiing through the Rocky Mountains of Colorado
Sitting at home watching just about any kind of sporting event
Going up to the Avila for a pork sandwich or perhaps heading to the other side
Being lost in the city and calling him, so he could help me find my way
Resolving problems with him, because it was his specialty
Playing tennis almost every Sunday in the park
Being together during important times
Passing time just about anywhere

While there are many ways to remember someone when they leave this reality we know to another yet unknown, I choose to remember my Buddy Billy’s wonderful qualities that made him so special to so many of us.

RIP it my friend!

∞ Rob McBride ∞
20 Feb 2020

One by one we come into the world
Little by little its secrets are unfurled

Two by two many go hand in hand
Drawing sweet dreams in the sand

Time together often brings another
Making them mother and father

As the young one opens his eyes
He brings excitement and surprise

We often wonder what life’s about
With a little one there is no doubt

The meaning of life becomes clear
As we beget it, no doubt we are near

∞ Rob McBride ∞
26 Nov 2019
LL V 3

We cannot give what we do not have
We cannot be what we are not
What we have inside
Will come out
Like it or not

We may act like another
And get away with it for awhile
But what we do speaks so loudly
People will not hear what we say

A glass can only spill its contents
All it has lies within its borders
When we are angered by another
Our contents will become self-evident

We cannot give what we do not have
We cannot have what we do not live
We cannot live what we cannot conceive
We cannot conceive what we do not believe

Believe in yourself / be congruent in thought and action
It’s really much easier than you imagine
Put joy and happiness inside
Hang on and enjoy the ride

∞ Rob McBride ∞
01 Nov 2019
LL V 2

While some things merit striving for perfection, others don’t warrant such aggravation. Mathematics, science, and engineering tend to be areas benefiting from getting as close to perfection as possible.

Nevertheless, stressing too much to try and achieve “perfection” can be counter-productive. Perfectionism can become a controlling obsession. Let’s look at several everyday areas where “borderline to perfect” may actually be preferable.

Cleaning: Have you ever noticed how housework seems to be never-ending? Dust, dirty clothes, and “stuff” in general seems to reproduce exponentially. Does it really make sense to make sure everything in our home is immaculate before continuing with our day? If we were to do so, we might not achieve anything else, not only for a particular day, but perhaps for weeks, or even months, depending on our previous diligence with regards to cleanliness.

Rather than striving to have everything perfect, we can make our bed, clean areas which are most visible, and clean the dishes. It’s amazing how a few critical tasks can make our environment look nice, even when it’s not spotless. A time will come when a deep cleaning will likely be necessary, but from day to day we can do simple maintenance to keep our home clear of clutter, even if there happens to be some dirt in the corners. Then we can get out into the world and live life, or just take a nice long nap, instead of striving to eliminate every speck of dust and dirt from our surroundings.

Sales: Make no doubt about it, selling is an art and to perfect it, can take a lifetime. I have seen certain people who spend so much time perfecting their sales pitch that they never actually get out to talk to potential customers. It’s important and necessary to know our product, it’s benefits, and how we can best serve our clients; but in my experience the salesperson who talks to more people in a day, even with an “imperfect” approach, normally sells circles around the one who stays in the office because they don’t have their sales pitch quite “perfect.”

Personal Relationships: We are emotional beings inside imperfect bodies. While the human body is pretty amazing, we are constantly reminded it is not perfect when we get sick, don’t feel well, or are otherwise hampered by our emotions. Rather than trying to please all of the people all of the time; we can give our greatest effort gratifying those who are most important to us.

We can be kind and courteous to the rest, but is it really worth the extra time and effort to strive to make everyone happy with what we do? Even when do our best to please those we love, we are likely to come up short from time to time. This doesn’t make us “bad” people, it simply confirms our human condition.

Learning to let go of perfectionism can positively impact our lives, as well as that of those around us. When we realize the universality of the concept of yin and yang —where there is a little bit of bad in all that is good and a little good in all that is bad—, we can embrace the fact that being borderline to perfect is often as good as it gets, and indeed a great place to be, regardless of where we happen to be.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 50

While their are many different ways we can analyze life, there seem to be three phases which mark it. I break them down like this:

• We Prepare
• We Produce
• We Enjoy

The transition from one to another is seldom a hard line, though sometimes it is. When we graduate from high school, college, or trade school, we often leave our Preparation phase in the past.

Thus begins the second Productive phase of our life, where we do whatever it is we are going to do, though granted sometimes we prepare for one thing and end up doing another. Some are doctors, others are dancers; some practice law, others are engineers; an even larger quantity are laborers of different types, some with a steady salary, others who live hand to mouth; some are street sweepers, and someone needs to pick up the trash; some need to govern, and others to keep the peace. We all do something in life.

Sometime during or after the second phase, often without realizing it, comes the third phase to Enjoy what we have done in the other two. This does not necessarily have to be retirement. It could be simply looking at work in a different light. When we start enjoying what we do more than the money it provides, we shift into the third phase of our lives. Many call these the Golden Years, because they should be filled with wealth, both financially and emotionally.

If we continue to think about these phases, we find the following:

Ironically as youngsters we often want to get out of the Preparation phase and into the world as soon as possible, though in retrospect these first years of our lives are often among our most carefree and fancy free since we usually have few responsibilities. Maybe we shouldn’t be so anxious to get our children “growed and out of the house,” opting instead to make sure they have the tools they will need to defend themselves well in the world. Maybe it would be best to assure they choose something to do in life that they like, while also giving them the possibility to provide for their needs.

Obviously, many do exactly this, and this is terrific because after all, our well-being may very well depend on our children, though this isn’t always the case. Let’s do our best to make sure they are well prepared for life before moving on the the Productive phase.

In this second phase, it seems many simply go through the motions in order to get to the third stage. In many places around the world, this means working from the time we are out of school until we are 60 or 70, so that we can retire on a hope and a prayer that we might get a pension check. In other parts of the world people retire earlier, but their challenges tend to be similar.

Why wait so long to shift into this last phase where we Enjoy what we did in the others?

When we love what we do and are passionate about it, we can move into the third phase soon after having entered the second!

Sure, it is much easier to enter into this last phase if we are debt-free and have few obligations, but it isn’t absolutely necessary. When we can get up in the morning and do pretty much what we want, whether it being going out into the world to work, or staying home, then we are well on our way to accelerate the process.

It’s not necessary to work 40 or 50 years in a dead-end job we hate, just in order to retire after so much time and hopefully have “few good years.” Instead, we can look to engage ourselves in an activity which we would do even if we weren’t paid for it, and then find somebody who will pay us well to do it.

The third phase to Enjoy what we have done is not about retiring, sitting on our ass, and watching TV or swaying in a hammock all day; rather in getting up each day and doing the best we can in the phase we are in to make each day a great day, without basing this on our chronological age. After all, age is simply a number, not an emotional state.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 49

There is only one truth, and anything varying from it, is simply somebody’s particular interpretation of it. As such, truth is absolute, but our perception often makes it relative.

That is why two people can bear witness to the same event and give different testimony as to what happened. To avoid subjective factors determining the truth in a trial, cameras are now frequently used since with them we can determine in an instant the veracity of the testimony, find out “who dunnit,” and put them behind bars.

Nevertheless, “twisting the truth” is done for many reasons, though mostly for convenience rather than for matters of life or death. We alter, change, or twist the truth to impress someone, perhaps to cover an error, or maybe because we are in dire straits and telling the truth means things will only get worse.

Nevertheless, the truth holds firm, it is unbending.

Being this the case, let’s consider how we are able to manage the truth, as it relates to others, as well as ourselves.

Perhaps even more important than the “truths” others tell us about themselves, are those we tell ourselves.

• How is our daily conversation with ourselves?
• Are we being honest and speaking the truth when we see ourselves in the mirror and evaluate our path in life?
• Are we really doing the best we can do in school, work, and our relationships?
• When we look in the mirror, what are the hard truths we tell ourselves about what we can do better, and what are the lies we tell to soothe our soul?

We all have weaknesses, errors with no expiration date, and blind spots which can cloud everything. Let’s give ourselves the opportunity to believe more in ourselves, telling the truth about the weaknesses we can work on, as well as the strengths we can empower.

When someone tells us they did something, we can take it at face value, realizing it may or not be true. More important than what others tell us about themselves is what we tell ourselves when we take stock of our progress, making sure we give an accurate account of the truth and not a twisted interpretation of it.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 48

I realized something the other day…

You are incredible!

Of the billions of people who roam around the Earth, never has there been anybody who is exactly like you. Nobody walks, talks or acts just the way you do. The thoughts you have, and what you do with them, are marvelously unique to you.

And you know what the best part is?

You are truly incredible, just the way you are!

Even with your errors and all of your faults, you’ve got quite a lot going for you. Sometimes you fall, sometimes you fail, but despite it all, you are still here to talk about it, and that’s quite an achievement. Others have not been so fortunate and many have quit along the way, while you’ve kept plugging.

From the very start, you were the fastest. You may not have had the best start, and you may have even started way back in the pack, but your sperm made its way past the rest. When the others tuckered out, tired from the journey, you kept on chugging, giving it your all. Then after reaching your goal, you made that egg yours, fertilizing it and beginning the magical process of your conception.

Then, after you were born, you began to look about you, taking in all the sights, sounds, and things you could possibly touch. You began to form your very own perception of the world and your surroundings. You listened to what people said and together with your experiences now have your own opinion about what is right and wrong.

When you went to school, maybe you were unsure of yourself or perhaps even scared, but you got through. Little by little you began to learn the ropes, form your friendships and develop your interests. Likely there were difficulties with some of the other kids, and at times the pressure of learning so much information might have seemed to be too much. Yet the sun came up the next day, you shook off the cobwebs and continued on your way.

One stage after another and many experiences later, here you are today. You may be happy or you may be sad, but regardless of your emotional state, you are incredible. The mere fact you can now read these words means you’ve made it through quite a lot of difficulty just to be here with me now. Think about it. Your heart has continued to beat and your lungs have continued to breathe throughout it all. Your body has continued to work since you were born, despite the abuse you give it, and that’s quite an accomplishment.

There is only one you in this world and that’s pretty amazing. While others go about their daily deeds, so do you. Your path may not have always been the best one, and there may be somethings you would do different, but despite it all, you continue to be here to tell your history.

Emotions can sidetrack us from time to time from what is really important in life and above all from how we value ourselves. Regardless of how you feel in this instant, I can guarantee you one thing…

You are incredible!

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 47