Category: English

While some things merit striving for perfection, others don’t warrant such aggravation. Mathematics, science, and engineering tend to be areas benefiting from getting as close to perfection as possible.

Nevertheless, stressing too much to try and achieve “perfection” can be counter-productive. Perfectionism can become a controlling obsession. Let’s look at several everyday areas where “borderline to perfect” may actually be preferable.

Cleaning: Have you ever noticed how housework seems to be never-ending? Dust, dirty clothes, and “stuff” in general seems to reproduce exponentially. Does it really make sense to make sure everything in our home is immaculate before continuing with our day? If we were to do so, we might not achieve anything else, not only for a particular day, but perhaps for weeks, or even months, depending on our previous diligence with regards to cleanliness.

Rather than striving to have everything perfect, we can make our bed, clean areas which are most visible, and clean the dishes. It’s amazing how a few critical tasks can make our environment look nice, even when it’s not spotless. A time will come when a deep cleaning will likely be necessary, but from day to day we can do simple maintenance to keep our home clear of clutter, even if there happens to be some dirt in the corners. Then we can get out into the world and live life, or just take a nice long nap, instead of striving to eliminate every speck of dust and dirt from our surroundings.

Sales: Make no doubt about it, selling is an art and to perfect it, can take a lifetime. I have seen certain people who spend so much time perfecting their sales pitch that they never actually get out to talk to potential customers. It’s important and necessary to know our product, it’s benefits, and how we can best serve our clients; but in my experience the salesperson who talks to more people in a day, even with an “imperfect” approach, normally sells circles around the one who stays in the office because they don’t have their sales pitch quite “perfect.”

Personal Relationships: We are emotional beings inside imperfect bodies. While the human body is pretty amazing, we are constantly reminded it is not perfect when we get sick, don’t feel well, or are otherwise hampered by our emotions. Rather than trying to please all of the people all of the time; we can give our greatest effort gratifying those who are most important to us.

We can be kind and courteous to the rest, but is it really worth the extra time and effort to strive to make everyone happy with what we do? Even when do our best to please those we love, we are likely to come up short from time to time. This doesn’t make us “bad” people, it simply confirms our human condition.

Learning to let go of perfectionism can positively impact our lives, as well as that of those around us. When we realize the universality of the concept of yin and yang —where there is a little bit of bad in all that is good and a little good in all that is bad—, we can embrace the fact that being borderline to perfect is often as good as it gets, and indeed a great place to be, regardless of where we happen to be.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 50

While their are many different ways we can analyze life, there seem to be three phases which mark it. I break them down like this:

• We Prepare
• We Produce
• We Enjoy

The transition from one to another is seldom a hard line, though sometimes it is. When we graduate from high school, college, or trade school, we often leave our Preparation phase in the past.

Thus begins the second Productive phase of our life, where we do whatever it is we are going to do, though granted sometimes we prepare for one thing and end up doing another. Some are doctors, others are dancers; some practice law, others are engineers; an even larger quantity are laborers of different types, some with a steady salary, others who live hand to mouth; some are street sweepers, and someone needs to pick up the trash; some need to govern, and others to keep the peace. We all do something in life.

Sometime during or after the second phase, often without realizing it, comes the third phase to Enjoy what we have done in the other two. This does not necessarily have to be retirement. It could be simply looking at work in a different light. When we start enjoying what we do more than the money it provides, we shift into the third phase of our lives. Many call these the Golden Years, because they should be filled with wealth, both financially and emotionally.

If we continue to think about these phases, we find the following:

Ironically as youngsters we often want to get out of the Preparation phase and into the world as soon as possible, though in retrospect these first years of our lives are often among our most carefree and fancy free since we usually have few responsibilities. Maybe we shouldn’t be so anxious to get our children “growed and out of the house,” opting instead to make sure they have the tools they will need to defend themselves well in the world. Maybe it would be best to assure they choose something to do in life that they like, while also giving them the possibility to provide for their needs.

Obviously, many do exactly this, and this is terrific because after all, our well-being may very well depend on our children, though this isn’t always the case. Let’s do our best to make sure they are well prepared for life before moving on the the Productive phase.

In this second phase, it seems many simply go through the motions in order to get to the third stage. In many places around the world, this means working from the time we are out of school until we are 60 or 70, so that we can retire on a hope and a prayer that we might get a pension check. In other parts of the world people retire earlier, but their challenges tend to be similar.

Why wait so long to shift into this last phase where we Enjoy what we did in the others?

When we love what we do and are passionate about it, we can move into the third phase soon after having entered the second!

Sure, it is much easier to enter into this last phase if we are debt-free and have few obligations, but it isn’t absolutely necessary. When we can get up in the morning and do pretty much what we want, whether it being going out into the world to work, or staying home, then we are well on our way to accelerate the process.

It’s not necessary to work 40 or 50 years in a dead-end job we hate, just in order to retire after so much time and hopefully have “few good years.” Instead, we can look to engage ourselves in an activity which we would do even if we weren’t paid for it, and then find somebody who will pay us well to do it.

The third phase to Enjoy what we have done is not about retiring, sitting on our ass, and watching TV or swaying in a hammock all day; rather in getting up each day and doing the best we can in the phase we are in to make each day a great day, without basing this on our chronological age. After all, age is simply a number, not an emotional state.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 49

There is only one truth, and anything varying from it, is simply somebody’s particular interpretation of it. As such, truth is absolute, but our perception often makes it relative.

That is why two people can bear witness to the same event and give different testimony as to what happened. To avoid subjective factors determining the truth in a trial, cameras are now frequently used since with them we can determine in an instant the veracity of the testimony, find out “who dunnit,” and put them behind bars.

Nevertheless, “twisting the truth” is done for many reasons, though mostly for convenience rather than for matters of life or death. We alter, change, or twist the truth to impress someone, perhaps to cover an error, or maybe because we are in dire straits and telling the truth means things will only get worse.

Nevertheless, the truth holds firm, it is unbending.

Being this the case, let’s consider how we are able to manage the truth, as it relates to others, as well as ourselves.

Perhaps even more important than the “truths” others tell us about themselves, are those we tell ourselves.

• How is our daily conversation with ourselves?
• Are we being honest and speaking the truth when we see ourselves in the mirror and evaluate our path in life?
• Are we really doing the best we can do in school, work, and our relationships?
• When we look in the mirror, what are the hard truths we tell ourselves about what we can do better, and what are the lies we tell to soothe our soul?

We all have weaknesses, errors with no expiration date, and blind spots which can cloud everything. Let’s give ourselves the opportunity to believe more in ourselves, telling the truth about the weaknesses we can work on, as well as the strengths we can empower.

When someone tells us they did something, we can take it at face value, realizing it may or not be true. More important than what others tell us about themselves is what we tell ourselves when we take stock of our progress, making sure we give an accurate account of the truth and not a twisted interpretation of it.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 48

I realized something the other day…

You are incredible!

Of the billions of people who roam around the Earth, never has there been anybody who is exactly like you. Nobody walks, talks or acts just the way you do. The thoughts you have, and what you do with them, are marvelously unique to you.

And you know what the best part is?

You are truly incredible, just the way you are!

Even with your errors and all of your faults, you’ve got quite a lot going for you. Sometimes you fall, sometimes you fail, but despite it all, you are still here to talk about it, and that’s quite an achievement. Others have not been so fortunate and many have quit along the way, while you’ve kept plugging.

From the very start, you were the fastest. You may not have had the best start, and you may have even started way back in the pack, but your sperm made its way past the rest. When the others tuckered out, tired from the journey, you kept on chugging, giving it your all. Then after reaching your goal, you made that egg yours, fertilizing it and beginning the magical process of your conception.

Then, after you were born, you began to look about you, taking in all the sights, sounds, and things you could possibly touch. You began to form your very own perception of the world and your surroundings. You listened to what people said and together with your experiences now have your own opinion about what is right and wrong.

When you went to school, maybe you were unsure of yourself or perhaps even scared, but you got through. Little by little you began to learn the ropes, form your friendships and develop your interests. Likely there were difficulties with some of the other kids, and at times the pressure of learning so much information might have seemed to be too much. Yet the sun came up the next day, you shook off the cobwebs and continued on your way.

One stage after another and many experiences later, here you are today. You may be happy or you may be sad, but regardless of your emotional state, you are incredible. The mere fact you can now read these words means you’ve made it through quite a lot of difficulty just to be here with me now. Think about it. Your heart has continued to beat and your lungs have continued to breathe throughout it all. Your body has continued to work since you were born, despite the abuse you give it, and that’s quite an accomplishment.

There is only one you in this world and that’s pretty amazing. While others go about their daily deeds, so do you. Your path may not have always been the best one, and there may be somethings you would do different, but despite it all, you continue to be here to tell your history.

Emotions can sidetrack us from time to time from what is really important in life and above all from how we value ourselves. Regardless of how you feel in this instant, I can guarantee you one thing…

You are incredible!

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 47

One certainty in life is that there will be uncertainty.

When we are growing up, we are unsure how we might fit into society. When we are going to school, we are uncertain whether we will be able to graduate. When we are working, we are often unsure how long we will have a job. When we are married, we can wonder if we chose the right person. In Venezuela, where I live, we often wonder whether we will have electricity and water from one moment to the next. In short, uncertainty is our constant companion.

With uncertainty generally one of two things can happen. It can freeze us into inaction, or drive us into action. While circumstances are different, as are their degree of uncertainty, one thing is common in all:

We can overcome uncertainty with action.

Regardless of the situation, or degree of doubt, we can mobilize our inner creativity to determine what kind of action we can take. For example:

If we are unsure of ourselves, we can take measures to gain confidence, by enrolling in martial arts, self-improvement programs, and/or by realizing we are as amazing as any other individual on earth, until we are confident in our abilities.

If we are unsure whether or not we will be able to graduate from school, we can pay better attention in class, develop a sincere interest in what we are studying, and prepare sufficiently for exams. When we do our probabilities of passing and graduating become much greater.

If we are unsure about our job situation, we can strive to learn as much as we can about what we do. That way if there is some problem with our current company, we can transition more easily into a new position, or perhaps start our own venture.

If we are uncertain whether we have married the right person, we can talk to that person, expressing our true feelings and seeking to understand theirs. Not everybody is meant to be with someone “till death do them part.” In some cases it is possible to resolve our issues, in others, the best decision is to make a drastic change.

With uncertainties beyond our control, such as the case with electricity and water service, dealing with them isn’t always so easy since in some cases it can be a matter of life and death. Nevertheless, when basic services fail, leaving us dry and dark; we can focus on those things we can do while services are limited, rather than lamenting those things we cannot do.

Uncertainty can sap our energy and weaken our will. Instead of falling into its vicious trap, which leads us no where, we can ask ourselves one simple question:

What can I do to better understand this doubt?

When we are proactive, taking action to know more about what bothers us, we can gain a wider perspective and better results, than if we simply wait around for something to happen without doing anything. Treat yourself to a few minutes, or perhaps even several hours to contemplate your next move whenever you are next faced with uncertainty. Then with calm, cool, collected confidence, take action to dominate it.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL IV 46