Category: English

While I am a firm believer in living in the “Here and the now” there are situations when it is worthwhile to let our mind travel to other times. Our mind is a marvelous machine which allows us to soar to another space and time in an instant. We have a “library” of memories which can be accessed to create a myriad of emotions when convenient.

At one time or another we will all have to face difficult and unfortunate circumstances. Perhaps one of the most uncomfortable situations is dealing with the terminal illness of a loved one.

What do we say?

How can we help?

In this situation it is likely we already know what is coming and the prognosis. It is natural to ask:

How did all this start?

What did you feel?

What did you do?

These are common questions and although they may satisfy our curiosity, it isn’t a line of questioning which will necessarily lead to a positive or valuable dialogue for the patient.

What value is there in rehashing the sickness and circumstances which they are facing?

In most cases, there is absolutely no value! Another way to manage the situation is to stimulate the mind to soar to more joyous and happy times. For example, we can ask, “Do you remember when we took that trip to the beach during Spring Break when we were in the university?” This and any other question starting with the phrase, “Do you remember when…?” will take us to another space and time. Our mind will begin to remember those times when we shared magical moments.

“This is simply skirting the inevitable!” you may say. I don’t argue with the fact that living in the past is simply a way to forget about the present. My response is, “So what?”

Not everything in life is, “Cheery, jolly and bright.” There are times which are challenging and uncomfortable. During these inevitable moments in life, it is preferable to travel to another time which allows us to smile and remember the beautiful moments we have lived rather than dwelling on the inevitable.

When we have to face the death of a loved one we can take one of two paths. One is to enter into a deep philosophical conversation about what awaits and the other is to paint a picture of what once was. While everything has its moment and there is a time and place to face the inevitable, in other circumstances we can be of support and assistance by creating images of how wonderful their spectacular journey we call life has been instead of feeding the fire of anguish over what is sure to come.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 30

There comes a time when we need to say, “It’s Showtime!” We are all actors in life. William Shakespeare expressed it like this:

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts…”

As we head out into the world each day, we are like actors making our entrance onto the stage. While each of our roles are different, we are all on stage performing. Some of us are salesman, others are doctors, lawyers, engineers, teachers, or a myriad of other professions and occupations. While it is healthy and wise to be in harmony with what we feel and say, the “world” really doesn’t care how we feel. All that matters is our performance in the theater of life.

Let’s look at an example. When a patient goes in for surgery, he or she really doesn’t care if the surgeon had a fight with their spouse, has economic difficulties or has an upset stomach. What’s most important is for the surgeon to do their job well!. While the doctor’s performance will change depending on the circumstances, it’s critical to get off the emotional roller coaster of life and perform.

Regardless of what we do, we are all in a similar situation. While our closest friends and family can be of tremendous support when we are facing difficulties, the backdrop of our emotional challenges isn’t important to the rest of the world. Imagine the following situation. A client walks into a car dealership and asks the salesperson, “How are you doing?” Imagine the salesperson replying, “My teenager is about to get kicked out of school, they haven’t paid my commissions from last month, my landlord is asking for my house and I am depressed.” Would we really want such a detailed explanation?

While this is obviously an exaggeration, we frequently demonstrate these same sentiments without ever speaking. Our body language and attitude towards life explains the entire script. It is not necessary to ask someone, “How are you feeling?” Most of the time it’s apparent from their behavior and demeanor how they feel. In fact, for those we know best, we know in an instant how they feel.

Like most, I have learned a great deal from my parents. My mother, “The Beautiful Lady,” passed in peace on October 18th. As a result of her passing, I have thought a lot about all I have learned from her. While there have been so many different things, the most important is regardless of how we feel, we have to get up and say, “It’s Showtime!” With our best foot forward, it’s crucial we go out on stage with courage and confidence.

We are all actors in life. We will not always feel great and not everything in life is wonderful and beautiful. It’s not realistic to think we will always be energetic and motivated. Nevertheless, those who are able to shake themselves off and go out on stage with an excellent attitude are those who will achieve greatness. Let’s be superstars as we go out on stage in a constant effort to give our best performance in this wonderful theater we call life.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 29

While we all have the capacity to bounce back from life’s difficulties, sometimes we have a busted bounce due to circumstances beyond our control. Life is like a bouncing ball. Sometimes we are up and sometimes we are down. What is most important is not where we happen to be in the cycle of the life, rather our ability to bounce back at least one more time.

Our capacity to bounce back is the result of our experience, preparation, perseverance and attitude. The more difficulty we have faced and overcome the easier it is to bounce back and continue on our merry way. Nevertheless, things happen which can burst our ability to bounce back.

Those who know me or have participated in one of my events know I use the example of a bouncing ball to illustrate and explain my ideas. Recently I found and purchased the “perfect” ball to use in my conferences. It was a traditional black and white soccer ball. I was happy with my new toy and excited to use it. The night before my next event I filled it up with air. Apparently, I filled it up with too much air and the following day I had a Busted Bounce.

My first reaction was to give it to my dogs, Sneaky and Rascal, so they could finish destroying it. I was disappointed I had wasted my money on a busted bounce. Before giving the ball to my kids, I took the air out of the ball and just before giving it to them had an idea. At one time or another we have all “burst” for some reason or another. During the most difficult of circumstances, it seems there are no solutions and no way out.

The bladder in the ball was intact though deformed. It came out of the ball when the surface broke due to excessive air. As I looked at the hole in the ball it occurred to me this is similar to what we experience when we have our own Busted Bounce. I punched smaller holes around the bigger hole and passed a small rope through the eyelets to mend the damage. I filled the ball with air and, as if it were magic, I recovered my bounce.

We encounter incidents similar to my experience with the ball when we are subject to particularly difficult challenges. First we “burst,” our beings deform in an explosion of emotion. A hole is left in our souls creating a vacuum making it virtually impossible to bounce back immediately. In time, and frequently with the help of our friends and family, we fix the “hole” in our lives created by the challenge. Notwithstanding, we still need “air” to inflate our “ball” to return once and for all from the bottom of a bounce.

It’s critical we take time to recover from a Busted Bounce. We can turn to each other for help to repair the space created by an emotional cataclysm. To get up and go from a busted bounce it’s fundamental to find and maintain an excellent positive attitude which gives us the energy we require to fill the vacuum created.

After repairing and inflating our ability to bounce back will never be the same. Though an emotional scar reminds us of what happened, we can use this experience to strengthen our resolve. We always have the ability to bounce back at least one more time from any difficulty because, It’s the Bounce that Counts!

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 28