Category: English

How can we achieve Comfort in Discomfort?

How can we find peace in turbulence?

Things will not always occur as we wish. There will be situations which are depressing, sad and uncomfortable. Our interpretation of what happens, rather than what actually happens, is most important. Recently, I gained better understanding of achieving comfort in discomfort while attending a workshop with Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements, and his son Don José Ruiz.

Let’s look at an example. Suppose there are two people working for the same company. They both lose their jobs at the same time because of circumstances beyond their control. One says, “Poor me, I’ll never find another job as good as this one! My life will never be the same and now it will be impossible to achieve what I desire.” The other says, “Though it was a good job, I now have the opportunity to find an even better one! I have confidence and faith in myself; I will find an excellent opportunity.”

Circumstances like divorce, unemployment and death can turn our lives upside down. When we look around us, we find some are better able to handle the situation than others.

Why is this?

Why do some people rapidly bounce back from adversity while others fall into depths of despair?

Resilience, a subject which has been my passion during the last several years, has much to do with the way we overcome challenge. Among the skills we can develop is our ability to find comfort in discomfort.

It was difficult for me at one time to understand how someone can remain in one position and meditate for an extended period of time. Now, I understand the Master finds comfort in discomfort because he knows how to manage discomfort. Another will struggle constantly to find a more “Comfortable” position. While they both feel discomfort, the difference is in how they manage it. Those who master their minds know discomfort is a physical state which can be affected by what we think, how we breathe and how we feel. Health, happiness and peace come naturally when we master our minds to find comfort in discomfort.

We generally discover an infinite number of interpretations for uncomfortable situations. The easiest thing to do is to fall into the pathetic role of the victim. The more empowering possibility is to use our magnificent minds to find better solutions.

Life is made up of moments. Our happiness and capacity to enjoy each instant is a function of our brain and how we interpret daily events. Finding Comfort in Discomfort gives us better answers to difficult situations. Leading the life we desire does not depend on being thrown into the lap of luxury rather on our ability to sweeten sour grapes.

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 4

 

What is better something pretty or something practical?

Like many, I have thought I have the “correct” answer as to which is better.  I now see what is “correct” for one is “incorrect” for another.

Several days ago I was looking for a flashlight. As so often happens, those I found didn’t work. I asked my daughter if she had one and she said, “Sure, I have the one you fixed for me!” When she gave me the flashlight, I laughed because it was one I raised from the dead several years earlier.

We bought the flashlight in Parque de la Costa in Buenos Aires and it was more of a toy than anything else. Even so, the flashlight had been very useful and was always there when we needed it. Several years ago it fell and stopped working. I didn’t want to lose a “trusted friend” so I decided to fix it.

I took off the cover and placed a metal nut into a hole to turn it on. I then wrapped tape around it so the batteries wouldn’t fall out and tied the nut to a string attaching it to the case so it wouldn’t get lost. While it certainly isn’t Pretty, it is very functional!

I tell this story because on various occasions when someone sees my “Super-flashlight,” they laugh. There are some who, in a similar situation, would have simply tossed the flashlight in the trash and bought a new one instead.

I feel practical over pretty is better and it’s a model which works for me. If someone is more focused on aesthetics, it doesn’t matter how functional something is, they won’t use it if it’s not pretty. Those of us who are more practical and not interested in how pretty something is tend to believe we are right and others are wrong.

I now realize there is no right answer. For those who prefer practicality it is most important for something to work. For those who prefer the aesthetic, it’s appearance over function which matters most.

Life is more interesting because we are all different. We all have our own way of thinking and acting. Imagine how boring things would be if we were all alike!

Nevertheless, we are often intolerant of those who disagree with us. In his book, The Four Agreements, Miguel Ruiz elaborates on a model which comes from the Mexican Toltecas. He explains we all have “Mitotes” or beliefs with which we have been ingrained since we were born. While some of these beliefs are valid, many are not. In fact, according to Mr. Ruiz, the great majority of our beliefs are designed to please others and not necessarily aligned with what is in our best interest.

Since we are all different and have a distinct way of thinking and acting, why do we believe we must always be right? My good friend, Francisco Novoa, frequently asks, “Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?”

We can avoid an incredible energy drain and eliminate a lot of frustration by simply accepting others as they are with their unique way of thinking. We all act based upon our own “truths.” All we say and all we do is based on our belief that we are correct.

Instead of trying to convince others we are right and they are wrong, we can simply accept what they say, and then express our point of view without trying to convince them, “It’s my way or the highway!” Life is made up of moments and wasting time trying to convince others they are wrong is a terrible waste of our most valuable asset. When we are able to accept others as they are, we open the door to happiness!

∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL II 3