With the rocks in our road we can either build bridges or create barriers.
Why are some people destroyed by adversity while others prosper in mayhem?
From the time we are young, we are taught, trained and even domesticated to think and act in certain ways. Unfortunately a very small and powerful word forms an integral part of many of these teachings and this word is: “No!”
- No, I don’t want to play, I’m too tired.
- No, don’t run, you are going to hurt yourself.
- No, don’t make so much noise, the neighbors are sleeping.
- No, you can’t go to the dance, you are doing terribly in school.
The result of hearing “No” so many times when we are young, estimated to be between 
90,000 and 100,000 times in the first years of our lives, assures we “Cannot” do many things.
What if we exchange this negative pattern for a positive one?
We can practice saying, “Yes you can!”
For example, we can say:
- Yes I do want to play ball with you, first let me rest for a few minutes and I will be ready in about 20 minutes.
- Yes you can run, first please go outside so you don’t hurt yourself.
- Yes you can make noise, first let’s go read a book and talk about all the ways you can make noise tomorrow morning when everyone else is awake.
- Yes, you can go to the dance, first you need to start doing better in school. What can I do to help?
While this concept is quite simple, it is far from easy. When we start to say “Yes” to our kids, family and colleagues, we begin to open ourselves to a whole new world of opportunities. The word “No” limits our reach and turns off our creative engine, while the word “Yes” extends our reach and starts the ignition to our creative power.
When we think we can do a certain task or solve a situation, we create roads instead of roadblocks and possibilities instead of excuses. Each time we answer the question, “Can I do this?” we sculpt our character for better or worse. If the response tends to be “No,” the scars and burdens of life will become evident. If, on the contrary, the usual answer is “Yes,” we open the floodgates of creativity and energy without regard to time or age.
Obviously, there are exceptions and we can’t say “Yes” to everything in life, though we can to the great majority.
Can you fly to the moon?
Yes you can! First you need to study a lot and find out the process. While it’s not easy, it is possible!
Can you find the spouse of your dreams?
Yes you can! First you might have to experience a few nightmares before finding your dream mate, though he or she is out there looking for you right now.
Our mind is a marvelous machine which follows the instructions we give it to the letter. It is the chisel which sculpts our character. If we say, “No I cannot go to the moon or find my perfect mate,” our mind will obey and take a rest because it knows there is “No” possibility of success.
Life is made up of so many little challenges. Adversity sculpts our character through the questions we ask and the answers we give in each conversation we have and each decision we make. Let’s make sure that through adversity we sculpt the work of art we have always wanted to create.
∞ Rob McBride ∞
LL III 28