Victor or victim? by Alan Weiss – ∞ Rob McBride ∞

The Human Condition – Victor or victim?

There was a poll taken recently by the Pew Research Center which found that Republicans are happier than Democrats! That is, more Republicans pronounced themselves happy than did Democrats, and they did so more frequently, as well.

DISCLAIMER: I am in Independent myself, this is not a political treatise. This is stochastic, not diagnostic.

Pew researchers claimed the cause of the difference was people citing themselves as Republican feeling that they had the power to control their destiny, and people citing themselves as Democratic as feeling that other forces controlled their destiny.

I am not endorsing this poll or even claiming it’s valid between parties. But I do want to comment on the underlying attitudes, which I see in people, regardless (I believe) of political persuasion.

If you believe that external forces control your success and failure, then you have adapted a victimization psychology. And your response will always be that of a self-appointed victim: “What can I do, I’m helpless,” “The world is against me,” “It’s futile to fight this.”

But if you believe that you control most of your successes and failures, then your reaction is that of someone in control: “I’m going to have to improve my approach to this,” “This worked well, so I’ll use it again next time,” “What have I learned today that will help me tomorrow?”

People who ascribe their ability to continue to learn as the causes of their success are resilient, and react to failure and defeat by going out to learn more so as to be more successful the next time. People who feel they already know all that they need to know and who experience defeat tend to become depressed and ill. Their reaction is, “I gave it my best shot and it didn’t work, so this is a disaster.”

We have a choice to be a victor (of our own fate) or a victim (presumably of “them” out there). It is our choice. I don’t believe it has anything to do with political persuasion, the Pew people notwithstanding. I think it has everything to do with personal confidence, skills, and philosophy.

What and whom do you choose to be? Is it up to “them,” or is it up to you?